suicide allie the ultimate self pity - ultimately selfish 990501 ... Starbuck sometimes the only way out 990914 ... no hero Once you said you'd stick to it until the end I guess you lied, they call it suicide Now you're gone What was so wrong that you couldn't find a way to carry on? Second guess Did I do my best There was a friend I had Johnny was a weirdo So what did you expect? I ain't no fucking hero I'm just trying to survive myself I should have known you went through it alone I wonder why did you even try? You could have come to me I would have helped you see You could have found a way to carry on Second guess Did I do my best There was a friend I had... 'Johnny's strange behavior was a tip-off,' they say But I ain't no fucking savior I'm just living day by day Little things, little lives hanging 'til the end I say it doesn't really mean nothing Telling truth, telling lies I used to have a friend I say it don't really mean nothing And I can't let this feeling go Let this feeling go Let this feeling go 991012 ... Drennan WHERE DID HE DO IT? in his bedroom. HOW DID HE DO IT? shotgun, two rounds, against the head, pulled the trigger! WHY DID HE DO IT? hole in his spine, no symptoms yet, irreversable paralysis soon to come. WHO FOUND HIM? his brother, such a selfish act, no thought to the feelings of the familly, no thought of the consequences, he just ran away from it all. 991015 ... trakie don't do it 991015 ... the black rabbit blanketed in a warm calm of numb discomfort. a suicide body has no complaints. a suicide body has no joys. a suicide body cannot hold tightly. 991103 ... |sCaRReD*disTrOyeD| Escape from the world. Escape from those you hate. Escape from those you love. The route that only the weak take. Suicide is the easy way out. Strong-willed people don't need suicide. Even those of us whos lives suck don't nessicarily need suicide. Suicide is the more extreme form of getting high. When you commit suicide you know you won't come back if it is done right. When you get high you know you will come back if it is done right. Suicide is the single most idiotic thing one can do. 991127 ... jennifer It isn't an easy thing to miss you. Every day, I think of you. You showed me how beautiful my life could be. But, I guess I took that for granted. Everything is so cold without you here with me. I can't tell you why I did what I did, it just happened. I want you to know that it isn't your fault. I kept thinking of the reasons I needed to die, instead of the reasons I needed so desperately to live. I lose a part of us everyday. The memories of your sunset hair, your kind eyes and your bright smile are all fading. You were the only one who loved me, through it all. No matter what happened to me. Win, lose, it was all the same to you. You always used to tell me how proud you were of me. But I guess I took all that for granted to. I never told you how much you meant to me. As stupid as this sounds, I was afraid of losing you. I thought I was doing the right thing by not telling you how much I loved you. But after I died, you were never the same. The part I thought I saved by not telling you how I felt about you, died when I died. I saw you at my house, after the funeral, crying alone. I wanted to hug you, to hold you. But every time I even tried to touch you, you cried harder. It was almost like you could feel me pass through your hand. I know now that you're the only person I will ever love. But now, I can never say I love you and have you hear it. I can never make you smile or laugh. I can never feel you in my arms, I'll never run my fingers through you soft hair, I'll never hear you tell me that you're proud of me, and that you love me. It's been almost a year now. Losing you was the worst pain I have ever faced. But, I know that wherever you are, whatever you're doing, you're part of something wonderful. Which is all I've ever wanted for you. 991205 ... Jon permanent solution for a temporary problem 991206 ... deb but havent you ever just wanted to slit your flesh so deeply that you would never wake up? its a terrible feeling, but if you did (slit your flesh, that is) you would realise in a moment that OOPS thats not what i really wanted or is it? 991209 ... nameless when you kill yourself its not always to actually kill yourself, sometimes, its to get rid of the bad parts and when you commit suicide and it doesnt work out (thats the reason why people take 25 pills instead of 50 when they're commiting suicide), its still a great relief because thats when you get rid of this part you always wanted to. its kinda set you free 991218 ... andrea a guy i used to work with wonderful dude would give the shirt off of his back to a friend if they needed it was always nice to me my freshman year at school, my mom called and told me what happened to him i cried his poetry was phenomenal i just wonder what's happened to it now 991220 ... spikey-ho wanting to give it all up in a single moment of clarity 991231 ... Tess the peoples of the world decide together that their lives exist in the 20th century, but only with the promise that one day, they might commit suicide. and then they are gettin' it on and livin' it on. 991231 ... ROMiEttE LOVE is suicide..... 000301 ... sarah is the ultimate taboo - but very appealing. Would put an end to an unenjoyed existance. 000307 ... Midnight Bliss Taking the easy way out is very selfish in my opinion. or is it? in a way its selfish, in a way it's not. if you kept going on, you were apt to just torture yourself, but you made the decision...to end your life, to end your pain, but by doing so, you dealt a lot of pain out amongst everyone who cared for you. did you ever even realize how many people loved you? i don't think you did, but now it's too late to come bck and absorb all the love. one day though, i will be with you holding your hand and kissing your lips. i will be there as soon as is meant for me, dear nathan, and it may not be long, but wait for me and i will come. *shots ring through the air* 000319 ... Midnight Bliss explaining myself now, a wonderful guy killed himself march 7th, 2000, he was a great person, a magnificant artist...we all thought that he would make it to his dream job as a cartoonist for Disney. He did however, get into drugs and shit, and one night he decided to end his problems (he was also manic depressant) but he didn't realize how many people loved him. He had been labeled a "freak" because he wore make up and fingernail polish (black of course) he wore chains and spikes and things like a lot of us do. but everyone was so quick to judge him...little did most of them know, he was the sweetest most understanding person i've ever come across. he told some of his friends i guess that he loved me, which made me feel worse when i heard the news. the last thing he wrote to me was "don't forget me, your one true love" and i will always remember him as the spontaneous, energetic, happy, passionate and sensitive person i knew him to be. word of encouragement, don't give up on yourself, and no one else will give up on you either. 000319 ... MollyGoLightly goethe sent tons of melodramatic, trendy europeans to their deaths. 000323 ... med The ultimate fuck you. 000325 ... girl i dont think about it 000327 ... birdmad maybe there is a god. the fact that all of my most foolproof attempts have in fact been fooled is a testament to the notion that He's getting off on watching me twitch. tried to shoot myself ... the gun jammed. tried to hang myself in a lonely grove... the tree was blighted and the branch broke just before i went under pills resulted in a three day nap ( maybe i'm jesus ) threw myself in front of a car ... got severly bruised ribs and a nasty road rash, damn that driver and his combination of new brakes and quick reflexes the list goes on a litany of razorblades and poisons and car wrecks and lions and tigers and bears (oh my!) the most entertaining part of it all was the time i put a psychologist in shock by slitting my wrist in the middle of a consultation (and all i got for my trouble that time was a combination of detention and a really itchy inflammation around the edges of the wound that lasted for a week--tendinitis) i dont miss the vein... the vein seems to migrate back and forth from the point of the last wound. 000404 ... MollyGoLightly life's a gas 000405 ... amy love's taboo 000409 ... somebody murder of self 000417 ... calliope tempting. very tempting. very hard to hold onto myself sometimes. i just want to let go. i think if i did they would all say, 'yes, it was the best thing for her...' only thing keeping me going- a thought that maybe one day it will be better 000505 ... birdmad do what i do sometimes, instead of wishing YOU were dead, be enough of an unpleasant, evil pain-in-the-ass so that OTHER PEOPLE will wish you were dead and revel in it. Oh, and drink a lot... be an obnoxious drunk. It doesn't always help, it doesn't always work, but the entertainment value is pretty high and a hidden benefit is that it'll tell you who your friends really are. if they stick around in spite of the dramatic change in your behaviour but don't make a habit of flinging judgements at you, then they are worth keeping and think that you are too. The ones who ditch you are assholes and you're better off without 'em. 000505 ... Matthew I court it almost everyday. Drinking adrenalin as I push myself beyond the limit and to a place where safety exists only for the sanity of my soul. I cling to life only by the slimmest margins of the physical realm and delight in the danger as I force myself to greater and more risky ends. And there I find for a time absolute clarity and peace, for there is no room for anything else save my effort and my will. If it is strong enough I will overcome, if it isnt, I bleed. 000621 ... kim a selfish act that hurts too many people 000713 ... kim jc june 1, 1998 why didnt you graduate? 000713 ... johnny I noticed she went quiet, Slept a lot, "Hey, try to get out today" (Famous last words) Sunday night - the Phone call, She would`nt do that to me, She loves me, Loved me..... 000924 ... Barrett not a good habit to get into. 000924 ... god you are going to die anyway. what's the matter? you on a schedule or something? 001028 ... guitar_freak here i sit crying thinking that not far away is my death so quick so sudden the end to my pain if i had the nerve i might just do it the sleeping pills the docter gave me they could make me sleep for eternity the crank in my closet the bottle down my throat the end seems so comforting right now all i want is this life to be over i wish i had the nerve i wish i could i should just cry 001108 ... the void I hurt 001109 ... tazfab i see the countless