graduation moonshine I m about to go stand and watch samanatha graduation cermemony. She hasnt slept in 24 hours. My little insominiac, so clever so immensely depressed.I know the last thing she wants to do is stand there on that stage and smile. And i know she won't. She hates people. sometimes i think she even hates me. Havent seen her in almost two months. She still sends me poetry and paints me pictures, every now then she calls 5 in the morning to tell me she thinks shes dying, and how she remebers the day i impulsively dumped a box of lucky charms on her. 000607 ... sabbie i graduated in barefeet and fairy wings and they didnt notice till i was already on stage, accepting the cardboard cylinder from this amazing old lady. and afterwards i got in trouble, 'making fun of ancient traditions' and all that shit. but it was too late. i was out from under their jurisdiction, and they could do nothing to me. and anyway, i was dared to do it by one of my lecturers. 001218 ... tourist Cool. A New Traditionalist. But be forewarned, Beware the Dare! Best of Luck to You! 001218 ... birdmad we did the wave and someone tossed a beachball and there was a couple of cans of silly_string...all while Bishop O'Brien was delivering our commencement address and though only a few knew the story...one girl and one guy were naked beneath the robe he cinched the legs he cut from a pair of pants to his knees with rubber bands and wore one of those false turtleneck things. heh. 001218 ... rudhaen this is the dreaded event. my impending doom. i have never been so scared in my life as of high school graduation. 010301 ... l happy times 010422 ... Mute tit for tat hah. remember me when the west wind falls. I sailed in a rubber boat to a cave, i fell over an split my knee open, then I saw two strange men sitting drinking Tigar beer, CatBA island its called, you can drink snake, crow and monkey brain juice there if you wish, that is if you don't win yet another Tigar Beer. don't get too drunk, you might not remember how to play one single card game. Charlie ahat was so funny that night, does anyone remember of were we too god dame drunk? Morfafu, was it you again, in the bathroom? 010423 ... candi thats when i met that evil man i also got a life ticket and a funny hat 010424 ... florescent light welp-graduation is but 2 weeks away. Oh my god- scary as hell. Probably one of the scariest things ever. All of the sudden I will be thrust into the world. I'm not prepared. There is no longer that straight productivly secure path of school to follow. Where decisions are black and white, pass or fail. now there is too much gray. I have no idea what to do after graduation. Do I find another apartment in Oneonta, or do I go back home to the city and live with my folks for awhile? If I do stay in Oneonta- Do I keep my job, or find a better one? Do I move in with my boss(she offered) or do I find something else? Before I was a full time college student with a part time cooking job. Now I will be a bum with a part time cooking job. I'm not ready to graduate. I don't want to grow up. 010503 ... Aimee I'm graduating today. 2pm. I don't know how to feel about it other than stressed out. I'm not good in crowds... it makes me nervous. Plus I don't even like most of the people who are there. I wonder if everyone else feels the same... I just want this over and done with. 010603 ... sEth Im not going to mine. I dropped out of school after my first day as a senior. 011111 ... Annie111 oh god. i don't want to. i want it to be spring, but i don't want to leave. I have been going to school all my life. I can't leave it behind. I can't leave everyone i love behind. 020128 ... optic discretion That which I await for impatiently ... finally, an end to four years of pure hell and pleasure. Half of what I have "learned" in class will evaporate into thin air (if even that ...) yet the trials of friendship and the lessons of life will be ones that will remain for the rest of eternity. The future past graduation is one shrouded in darkness, yet I won't yearn for what I have left behind, but I will remember it forevermore. Graduation will serve as a brief hiatus within life, a chance to reflect back, and an opportunity to move forward. Where graduation will take me ... I have only to dream ... 020128 ... Ariadani is today. wow am i busy. i wish it wasnt tech week as well as graduation... oh well. ^-^ yee for graduating! 020605 ... je5icafletcher on the stage i stuck my tongue out at the principal and i danced alllllll the way back to my seat. i wasn't wearing panties and i thought it was wonderful. high school can be summed up by this graduation. i always dance all the way back to my seat. i will always stick my tongue out at meanos. thank god for college. 020605 ... me i still have 2 1/2 years to graduate-- from high school that is. i feel so old and at the same time i feel so young. i feel like i should still be in elementary school playing duck duck goose and then i feel like i should be married and have a family already. i just need to find a simple median for my life so i dont feel so confused and scared. scared of growing up, scared of not growing up. afraid that i won't live up to my true potential and experience all the great things that i can in my youth. i know one thing for sure..i will never get into drugs or alcohol. i have seen too many lives ruined from that and im too smart to do that to myself. i dont find it attractive at all when people do it. it just makes me lose all respect for them, if i even had any before. some people are just crazy 021221 ... -Jessica- "Don't go to graduation" he said "Everyone stand up. Now sit down. You have all just graduated. Graduation just means to change levels. I don't want you all to go to graduation, I want you all to go to commencement. You are starting a new beginning." 030528 ... pobodys nerfect During my graduation,when they were getting people lined up in alphabetical rows for the ceremony,there was this older woman who was standing beside me that kept looking at me. I felt a little uncomfortable until she said something like, "say, are you ____&____'s daughter?", and I smiled and said "yes,I am". She went on to tell me that she had gone to school with them until she'd gotten pregnant and dropped out. I thought it was kinda cool that she went back and got her degree after all those years. She also let me in on something I didn't know-my parents had been highschool sweethearts. It was also the night I decided I'd finally talk to Pete. I had come to realise over the summer how much I missed being around him(our grad ceremonies are held during the following october(or)november[can't remember]after we graduate in june). Anyway,I looked for him after, but he was already left. I spent the rest of the time there trying not to cry in front of my friends,and later that night I cried myself to sleep. The next day was the begining of a one year depression... 030528 ... girl_jane High school graduation-completed. College graduation-four or more years... 030528 ... jane i was not allowed to go to graduation tonight i was told harshly that i would be a disruption evil bitches wouldn't let me go to my own graduation when a thousand irrelevant strangers got to go 030528 ... minnesota_chris are you a disruption? Why would they think that?!? Is this about pot? 030529 ... mirabara i used to wonder why people say i am apathetic, but yesterday i realised why. i was riding in a car witgh my friend and he said "wow, it just hit me...we are done with hight school. i have a great feel of acomplishment. dont you?" i replied with "eh, highschool was just something to be done, so i did it." then i thought "just like going to colledge, getting a real job, getting married, and having kids. they all suck, but you do them because it is what your supposed to do." ================================== i just got back from rehersla for graduation tonight, and there is some pothead mexican gang-banger right behind me who i know will ruin the whole ceremony. when we practiced walking in, he treated it like a race anf ran up ahead to sitdown first, even though he is in the middle with me. 030529 ... jane they thought i would be a disruption because of the other students...well really i don't know...because we got kicked out and then we're doing independent study so the other students would wonder why we're there okay but i really think they didn't want us to tell the other students what had really happened to us because it was very very unfair 030530 ... endless desire i sat there in the audience, and my eyes filled with tears as i watched the two boys who know me better than anyone else in the world graduate. it is funny how our lives have become so twisted together. one boy is my brother. another boy is my love. they are best friends. they walked down that night togehter. they are everything to me. together and seperate. everything. they both know how to make me smile they both know how to make me laugh they both have helped me through the hell they both have helped me through the hate i run to their arms when i am sad, scared. crying. cold. longing. they both know my love for mint chip shakes from 31 they both know how i eat my in_n_out burgers they both know my love for quiznos and that i like my turkey sandwiches with turkey and mayo only. you see, both these boys know more about me than i know about myself. both these boys have taken better care of me, than i have myself. both these boys have loved me, even when i didn't love myself. both these boys have been the biggest influences in my life. both these boys have taught me more about life than i should know yet. both these boys have gotten me out of trouble that i deserved to be in. these are the two boys i love most in the world. i sat there as the tears streamed down. silent and hidden. they whispered, 'there is more to come' they whispered, 'look, your boys are growing_up' they whispered, 'aren't you proud?' and i knodded enthusiastically. my boys. my boys went and grew up without me even though i asked them not to some many times. bittersweet--the theme of the night. 030612 ... ferret that was nice. 030612 ... trixie that was awesome to have a nice ceremony and even better that my friends came through for me. the other graduates were so inspiring. i loved to hear their stories. it was nice to be celebrated although my heart was with someone who couldn't have that. im very lucky to have found the school that helped me out. im so lucky. but all things happen for a reason and good comes of everything... eventually, but it does come. 030612 ... tessa Is this who I am now? A name on these pieces of paper? 050513 ... megan the ending of the former and beginning of another and continuation of all things that are life 050514 ... anne-girl i'm doing this tomorrow for the second time in three years... yay I am 3 parts bored, 5 parts excited, and 2 parts nervous. bored because it's 2 hours of reading names excited because I get to see some people (though maybe for the last time) and nervous because I /will/ screw something up, somewhere also 1 part relieved to be out of this place 060607 ... anne-girl I invited my favorite teacher to this thing which was right before graduation (a reception of sorts, 'cause i was dubbed a smart kid) he said he'd come and didn't but it was fun anyway is 1 part annoyed, 30 parts disappointed, and 500 parts happy, 'cause being congratulated 600 times is annoying, but not entirely bad for the ego is glad to be out 060608 ... Ouroboros 1 week 060609 ... Ouroboros present: grandparents: 3 parents: 2 brothers: 1 stepparents: 1 god-grandparents: 1 father's latest fling: 1 not present: grandfather: died today grandmother: unable to function alone stepmother 1: personally uninvited stepmother 2: died 2 years ago tuesday stepbrother: school stepsister: nannying come spend money to fly out and watch me walk across a stage to accept a piece of paper that represents nothing but possible better jobs in my future. yes comecome. let us celebrate 060609 ... anne-girl hey, if it makes them happy, why complain? I mean, walking across a stage and listening to hundreds of names being called is a bit tedious, but not overly demanding... it's just silliness, but not overly unpleasant silliness 060609 ... impious bird 5/26/89 silly string shooting through the air and both sets of bleachers doing "the wave" while the laughable man who was our Bishop delivered the commencement speech. years later he would resign in disgrace over his protective handling so some of the diocese's pedophile priests and mostly over his killing of a pedestrian in an ostensible hit-and-run, so though i felt no particular remorse or regret over our behavior back then, i felt even less of it once the level of his character was revealed 060609 ... Ouroboros the governor of Washington spoke, and despite the various forms of protest from students, managed to deliver her speech- as contrite and political as it was. she fucking compared how we must respond to global warming with the race to put a man on the moon in the '60s but we passed the time by drinking wine out of a nalgene, and i felt good about myself, maybe even a bit proud, as a walked across the stage and received my fake diploma. AND the weekend passed without any major discrepancies between all the family members. and now i am done with the paper chase (for now) 060619 what's it to you? who go blather from