tonight daxle I'll never get enough sleep 990517 ... megan i might sleep last night left me weary 990904 ... ricmariem i've got work to do i don't know if i can talk to you but i'm hoping i can find time and tell you what's in my inside i'm hoping it will be..tonight 991118 ... miniver Tell me that I'll be great. And tell me that it will mean something, after all. Anything. I have decided to aspire. 000224 ... marjorie tonight we declare our victory over the day tonight our stars come out and ride the sky the waxing the waning tonight we crown our king, the moon. 000520 ... smilinstrange is the first night I've spent with people I met here even though I've been here since october 000520 ... deb i long to have you here as morning steadily creeps upon me i need to have the safety that you harbor within yourself- tonight i need a good cry upon that strong shoulder, those arms surrounding me, telling me it'd safe to breathe again- i can hear you, wishing me dreams of sweetness and good rest, when i truely need only your presence here to accomplish that- quickly, love, hurry back to me~ i need you to be here with me so my heart can rest easy once again. 010129 ... twiggie so many things went wrong... i've been a bitch all day to everyone, and i don't care anymore. i refuse to apologize for it, i'm not mean unless you deserve it. i'm tired, irritated, and everytime someone opens their mouth to talk to me i want to strangle them. i'm sick of people who only want to be friends with me when it's convenient, or when they want to use my house. i'm sick of people in general, and i'd like to tell someone about everything...but right now i'm so tired. i'd hate any advice anyone would try to give to me. and i just don't feel like explaining everything. i think it's time for sleep. 010406 ... unhinged i didn't eat dinner i waited around for two and a half hours for a phone call that i already knew the topic of 'you know babe i'm really sorry but...' you're always full of excuses aren't you? 'that was a really cool letter' you know what i'm not going to be reduced to groupie status in your mind i could have been a friend to you i loved you more than i have ever loved anyone but all i ever got from you was ego at least he was up front with me in saying all he wanted was sex you on the other hand don't even want that you just want someone that will fluff your ego you put up a really good facade you know i was completely and utterly fooled for a year and a half and i feel stupid i hate when people make me feel stupid 010406 ... firefly effect After you take me home I put off going to sleep, because that will only bring tomorrow. And we both know that tomorrow is just one more day closer to THE DAY, even though we try not to mention it that much. And besides, tomorrow morning only brings a wake-up shower, chores, responsibilities and reality--all of which seem to erase the night we just spent together. And that, is why I am living for today, right now, and here always.... 010806 ... Aimee we will crucify the insincere tonight 010807 ... echo like all the other nights, i'll lay in bed, hugging my big stuffed bear wishing it was u, thinking damn i messed up, curle up into a little ball with my dog at my feet, tomorrows anotehr day, the faster i fall aslepp the sooner it will come, the sooner i can fix things 010824 ... the eye "believe in me 'cause i believe in you" 010919 ... CheapVodka You left today And I cut my skin I feel unwanted So what if Maybe I took my life tonight Before I even knew What I was looking for Who's gonna stop me, If you're not here? Self control? What's that? What if tonight When your security is absent... I slip? So I write this for you Just in case my breath stops While you're away I didn't mean to do it It was an accident And perhaps sometimes accidents are meant to be Like me knowing you As the tears drip down my face And roll right off my nose If I do steal my life tonight... I'm sorry I love you I failed 011104 ... Erin I will love you more than I ever have before Its only an anticipation to tomorrow when I'll have to say goodbye....... I hate goodbyes more than anything in the whole friggin world 011110 ... psychobabe fuck, tonight i have to work at 4:30 and i get done at 8 *not that long but eh work is work* after that i have to go to my dads who lives in one of the smallest towns i know! and deal with his hypocritical bullshit after our arguement we had. IT was about people who were gay and how he thinks its TOTALLY wrong. He says "its not normal" "I dont agree with the lifestyle" I just came back at him with saying i'm your daughter what if in 10 years i turn out to be a lesbian? how will you think of me then? MY parents say they would accept me but wouldnt agree with my lifestyle. Not a surprise, they never really have anyways.. 011110 ... CheapVodka true true psychobabe it's sad how our parents like to preach about their beliefs but when it comes down to our say then what we say isn't correct at all. we can't win 011110 ... psychobabe bah fuck em 011111 ... ever dumbening fresh pasta asparagus petrale sole--flour egg-wash flour season wine "Scratch" (see it if you can) kisses dancing this sleep 020316 ... blown cherry I kissed someone I hadn't kissed in four years :) I'd forgotten what it was like. 020317 ... Syrope tonight i let you see what i promised myself i wouldnt...more of my tears...how can you miss me? i love being with you but can i be with you really?? i think maybe i should stop analyzing things so much... 020320 ... yummyC i am alone for who knows how long and I love the absence of tension. i slink back in this chair my legs and arms flopped bad posture lazy smile half closed lids and nobody is home to yell at me for sitting this way or even sitting and i dont have to hide in my room. its so nice to be alone tonight. i hope mark never comes home. i hate that guy. walkin on eggshells, ALWAYS. 020320 ... reitoei sleep. then wake wake and listen to the hum of my computer. see the faint green glow of led's from the powerstrip and speakers. a bit of moonlight filtering through the shades. and ill lie in my bed and wonder whats outside the window. how many other people lie awake as i do. and maybe ill grab my laptop and blather 020329 ... silentbob tonight i am going to a weezer concert. here i am, at ISU in a computer lab waiting for my sister to get done working on an art project. after that me, her and tanya are heading on over to the perkins or something to eat before the show. then.... AM_RADIO and WEEZER maladroit comes out may14 020504 ... devalis could decide the rest of my life. 020819 ... pralines&cream was truly "enlightening." 020820 ... Sailor Jupiter One of the only Smashin Pumpkins songs I can stand. 020820 ... dB nuff 021202 ... morphine. tonight things dont feel so tremendously, achingly, unbelievably stupid. but i will still say it. 021214 ... IWishICouldGoWithDavid Tonight you talked about our connection again and said words like "sincere" and "concentrate." I consider all my thoughts from today and think of how you always erase my doubts when they creep too close; how I know that once I start loving you I'm afraid I'll never stop; how I want to believe in you and know that the safest thing for me to do is just place my faith at your feet disregarding your humaness and concentrating on what you epitimize. But then I just think, "How ironic." 021215 ... scuzz Save tonight, and come the break of dawn... Come tomorrow; tomorrow I'll be gone. 030512 ... onlyme i'll be lying in darkness for eternity. 030512 ... /anon I'll be critcizing myself for all the bad decisions I made and I will roll around in my bed wanting to die. I will worry neelessly about things that dont matter becuz nothing does and I will wollow in self pitty becuz I am pathetic 030513 ... Piso Mojado i feel like more 030513 ... skye could i be lost forever? 031107 ... misstree sure. there's still some marshland prarie around here, and if i'm down for a drive, i have a friend who knows the appropriate swampland... usually i don't get people asking to be lost forever... usually it just kinda happens... any preferred method of disposal? *rubs hands together* 031107 ... shutter-bug i sleep and dream a thousand dreams. i'll slowly drift away into a blank stare then as my eyes slowly close i sink into a world produced by my own mind. tonight i enter my own world my dream world. never have i been this excited about sleeping 031117 ... ambermoon the moon is high in the sky as so my heart. when we are alone i will tell you ilove you. you will hold me in your arms and i will cry. ill think of thing that i really should not. when i finaly fall asleep ill dream of you. 040211 ... Jessa I'm anticipating 040305 ... hetaira i want to roam. alone. later i will meet you in that field we spoke of years ago. we will finally break the wishbone. what do you wish? 040710 ... sahba it wasnt right not right at all it was just so fucked up trying to be nice just fucking it all up the cafe closed late ran out of fuel got enough fuel to get to a friends place parents thinking this was all some fucked some scheme of mine so they want to come pick me up even though its 2 am after a long arguement on the phone my dad comes all the way from across town to pick up because he was worried about what people will think sometimes just thinking about it just makes me want to rip my head apart on the way my we run into some drunk's and i had to interven to prevent a fight perfect timing god has with things on the worst possible night all the crap just piles down on you and all the discontent just turned fresh you tell yourself that your living not just existing this world only to be realized by such worthless incidents that no you dont your just alive in flesh and blood your mind your senses there all numb and gone and thats left is a scarred mind trying consistently to tell you, you have a meanimg for all this its not just some fucked up situation you landed up in unwantingly life just feels like a stereotypical cycle you have no choice but to adher to for the sake of your own sanity just to live meaninglessly on and on while the people you love and care for never understanding how much you care for them where the truth only hurts always hurted and always will hurt you till the day you die moments of hapiness left behind in a world forgotten in a dark realm of unwantedness and pain 040710 ... lou_la_belle this is the type of night to spend walking about laughing kissing thinking eternity is at our disposal but i'm alone and all my friends have gone so tonight i'll sit and watch all the fun and life swirling about around me. the solitary shadow against the blackened sky trying to enjoy this gift all the while, trying not to think of you. i admit, i'm not good at being me anymore... 040717 ... Borealis they're not all gone love. 040717 ... pete love_poems 040718 ... insert name here everything looks different in the dark. my ceiling has marks i've never seen before. everything looks blue and black. there's a puddle of shadow at the foot of my bed. my vcr is glowing. everything sounds different in the dark. my sheets rustle. a car is going by four blocks away. i can almost hear the numbers change on my electronic alarm clock. 040928 ... suicidalchinadoll a sun salute at 3 am to beckon him forwards quicken its movement and warming and beginning.. the nights are too long.. and in the coldness, I wait to see the colours of the earth burst forth in greeting. a perpetual shavasana.. ever reaching into the earth, and becoming closer entwined with the beating that is far away..but buried inside. 041227 ... pete two jobs, one person, one night, good fun.. almost missed my bus, but one step closer to promotion from the pit to the line 041227 ... Master X This night shall be his last, and tomorrow morning, his first. "Every exit is an entrance somewhere else," he wrote elsewhere, perhaps quoting another. Tonight, then, shall be no exception. And what an exceptional night it shall be! 051228 ... sahba when i look at at what lou_la_belle wrote after my blathe so long ago and realise i have spent many nights after that night its clear life has changed 070605 ... sahba many nights similiar to lou_la_belle's * 070605 ... ever dumbening Too much to consider. Where are we supposed to get the time, the wisdom, the patience? Too many nuts and bolts, with only shoddy plans, xeroxed too many generations away from the master. It doesn't matter who you ask, they've either got it completely figured out, or they're completely lost (and both are lying either way). You can pay people: to wipe your ass, to let you wipe theirs, to think and feel for you, to help you think and feel. In the end, though, you're the only one stuck with you. And so you sit. And you stand. And you walk, and fuck, and cry (when it's allowed), and you buy and sell and steal when no one is looking. Don't forget to fret over stuff that "Won't mean a thing in a hundred years." Blather_Rinse_Repeat 071204 ... ever dumbening rush lyrics post hoc addendum Should've had these lyrics at the top: One day I fly through a crack in the sky And the next it's falling in on me 071204 ... . great blathe, E.D., even without the post hoc addendum 071204 ... krupt tonight i sit here as i do everynight but think in a different state of mind. i usually blathe soething completely irrelevant to the word, or otherwise something with deep meaning in my soul. many times it is happy, more times it has been depressing, but again tonight i think in a different state of mind. i have never felt this way before... i am not confused, nor do i have any idea what is going on. i am not happy, nor am i contimplating tracing my healing scars. i am not upset, nor am i ok. i sit here for the first time completely blank, yet with so much to say. i feel the weight of the world on my being, and i feel my inner self trying to escape. in the words of sartre, "suddenly a new object has appeared and taken the world from me". i dont know what to do about the project, shall i take flight and follow my instinct with possibility of ruining the best friendship i have ever known? or do i keep on confusing her and act uninterested... yet again i state that remain blank. 080124 ... p tonight, the social comes face to face with a sledgehammer. the sledgehammer will win. my brain will cheer and zone off into fantastical lands of little people and purple skies. 080125 what's it to you? who go blather from