lizard the currency of my love has been devalued.

the market is crashing over my head; it would be better if the sky was falling.

if the sky fell on me, i would be sent hurtling into oblivion. as it is, i feel her disappointment in me, i feel her sadness over my betrayal, and i feel his anger towards me. they all strike me, shrapnel, and this wreckage will suffocate me.
carey my thoughts are 010205
Laura Always I’ve tried to capture a little piece of beauty I’ve seen in my life and try to put it on a piece of paper. Whether by writing, painting, sketching, using any type of medium, I’ve never been able to do it. I used to think myself worthless with no talent because I couldn’t do something so many people could. It took a while but until this instant I never realized that if everyone could do what I felt I needed to do, then being able to write or draw wouldn’t be the special thing that it is. So many things happen when you are my age, that you don’t have a bad day for one reason. A bad day is a bad day for so many reasons jumbled together that you forget how to focus. And simple pep talks with people saying, “ It’ll get betterorIt’s not as bad as it seemsmakes you think you are all alone in problems. God knows, I shouldn’t be the one talking like this, sometimes I still think I am alone, but I’m not. Neither are you. 010327
weird creepy bird "i wish i was special" 010328
Chrity go to:
Denna Valuable, new, innocent, free.
Everything I used to be.

Worthless, broken, hurting, scarred.
Beginning beauty, forever marred.
Casey my life and my ability to make others happy 010415
flame of sin ~Dark And Filthy
A Shadow In Need
And 2 Black Holes
That Tend To Bleed
No One Understands
It's Empty Depth
Until It's Touched
By The Hand Of Death~
bethany absolutely positively pessimisticly
this is how you make me feel no doubt
can't spell can't clean can't keep a clean mouth
the conversationused to be revoled around me
and in the most unnarcissistic unselfcentered way
i'd like to tell you that
i'm being pushed away
from the conversation
to even talk to

why dont they see all that is the wonder of me?

blown cherry so fucking....
is how I feel.

Can't pass uni,
can't make myself do work,
can't make myself finish a song,
can't make myself do anything that might prove I am worth something.
Don't even have anyone who loves me anymore.
At least not anyone who actually knows who I am now.
In love with a memory doesn't count.

I'm not worth the air I'm breathing.
blown cherry Hey! Someone needs me :)
I am required to give a wake up call.
Maybe I'm not totally worthless then.
At least I still function as an alarm clock.
I'm even digital!
starved i knew it was true when some of them implied that the love i felt for them was something i needed to apologize for

it was just more wood for this fire i've been consigned to

endless desire is a quality i both completely understand
and cannot fathom simultaneously
first, i relate to feeling worthless.
without value. meaning. purpose.
it consumes me quite often, with hatred as a core.
shelled with an unbreakable shield
but i think that even if one could penetrate it
i wouldnt have the stregnth.
how devious it is.
masked in so many other forms.

but then, in the same sense
worthlessness is a ridiculous concept
one cannot say that absolutely no one cares for them
one cannot claim that they have never made an impact on a single life
there must be some median
where while others care for them, they care nothing of themselves.
i feel most sorry for those who care for them.
how hard it must be to persistently care for someone who believes you should not
and while, i can apologize now for always wishing you not to care
an apology is only worth something if there is also change involved.
and try as i might, i cannot change.
nick maybe we need to grow up
maybe anything we do now would be worthless
maybe worse

maybe not
oldephebe Question ed, is it that you cannot change or that you refuse to endure the arduous jouney/transformation that requires that change..and would such change represent such an antigen/antithesis to your persona that it would constitute eschewing everything that identifies you to yourself and the world as distinctly you..would that change represent an abdication of personhood..in effect obliterating the person you identify as yourself..the source of your sovreignity? is the percieved exchange of personhood and value-system that this proposed outward/internal ascription/behavior state a net loss of power in the relationship dynamic?

just curious..don't answer if i'm treading into the shallows of the inviolate and personal..

pete eyes and a miracle un folding beneath the closed closeted away slits of new misery,

yet i am not sad
love & hate is how i feel................ 040911
.nom worthmore 050125
Adriane destined to leave
with far less than I was given
(pathos is tragic)
a machine,
processing resources
with no output
only pollution
highanddry how_she_makes_me_feel 050715
one of many Money is worthless.
You all know this.
It represents the worth of what we trade for it but has no worth in itself.
what's it to you?
who go