anger Tess who abandoned you? 000104 ... eric you touch the very quick of it! interesting, so little yet said about something that so inflates and consumes.... 000105 ... squark! squark! what I think is righteous anger everyone else thinks is childish...*sigh* 000122 ... Midnight Bliss when it builds up inside, it creates a current of spitefulness... *smashes the windsheild* you hafta let it out somehow... *smashes the hood of a car* haven't you ever just needed to vent your anger at an object? *smashes the door* venting makes you feel a little better. 000320 ... SomeoneElse Oftentimes when I am consumed by this emotion I unreasonably take it out on you. For that I am eternally sorry. 000406 ... angry YOU'RE SO SELF CENTERED, BLAMING ALL YOUR PROBLEMS ON ME AND *WHINNING* ABOUT YOUR WORK AND YOUR LIFE WHEN I JUST WANT TO BEAT YOU INTO A BLOODY PULP SO I CAN'T HEAR YOU GO ON ANYMORE YOU MANIPULATIVE FUCKED UP BITCH! 000719 ... klarchen Who me? 000719 ... klarchen because I think that I, klarchen, fits this description to a T, in perfecto deo. 000719 ... marissa something i have lots of and it hurts others. im sorry. it hurts me the most. 001111 ... akira may seem to be effective, but accomplishes nothing. 001201 ... kent a taste comparable to bile. to taste it induces more. 001201 ... gwyllynne my anger truly is my gift. It keeps me going, I am angry that things are the way they are so I work actively to change them. I am angry about something somebody did, so I go about not letting it happen again. My anger is always teaching me new lessons and showing me new things about myself,if it weren't for my anger (the very thing that threatens to turn me into a very violent and horrible person )I don't think I could hold my head up high and face the day head on and treat others with compassion. If it weren't for my anger I wouldn't be able to give other's a hand-up when they need it, or a friendly ear and a shoulder to cry on. So yes, I am angry, is that so bad? 001201 ... PaShYn Anger is that in your heart After all the hell has start You know this feeling all of the time You start to believe its only mine Rage is intense with pain All that ever happens to you is rain 001220 ... peyton Klarchen.. I hope you fucking get what you deserve in hell. 010118 ... me is the enemy 010306 ... mikey for me i dont get angry much. i get frustrated. or annoyed. or impatient. 010306 ... unique butterfly i feel anger with my dad. i feel anger with my family. i feel as if i'm with friends. that don't care about what. i have to say about anything. 010525 ... Casey I always try to be a pacifist, but that idea will never last. I have so much anger pent up inside me I feel as if I am overflowing with it. There is so much to be angry about, myself, my looks, my friends, my family the world in general. And there is nothing to take it out upon, I don't want to hurt or break anything. It sucks 010614 ... Inanna Anger can eat you up from the inside out just as any negative emotion can. In anger, I have broken countless doors, put my hand through a window, and struggled with the concept of forgiveness. Anger can be a gift, if it is concealed constructively, and channeled creatively to bring about the change you desire. 010816 ... niai walking down the street in the middle of the night, with a bottle of beer in the hand, images of smashing the bottle, braking the cars parked on the street, walking fast, faster, oh, so much wanting to meet people, to fight with people, to hurt and kill and destroy 010817 ... Norm When you're not gonna get to play a football game there's no reason to get pumped up, I always forget that. So today I pumped myself fucking hardcore and I was right ready to rip the fucking quarterback apart... I didn't get in I got a ton and a half of bottled up, hardcore, violent anger that I don't know what to do with. I can't get to sleep, so I says to myself "Drink and it'll flow like the booze, man." I calls one of my good buddies and we gets right pissed. I beat the shit out of a shopping cart and threw it up on top of the mall, then I rolled a chevette barehanded and stupidly tried to throw it on top of the mall, I kicked in the side of a dumpster, knocked down a tree in a park, scared some kids bout my age by grabbing one of them, threatening to tear his arms slowly because he looked me crooked the his friends took their skateboards and hit me like three times in the back and twice in the head and I still didn't let go of the guy and grabbed another one, the rest of them scattered, then I started cracking up and let them go and they ran away like rats from a house fire. All of this happened about an hour ago and I just got home. Still a little drunk so forgive whatever mistakes I made and how crazy it might sound. 010906 ... The Editor you're not gonna get to play there's no reason I always forget that. fucking hardcore I was fucking a ton and a half of my good buddies and we pissed the shit out and threw it up barehanded and stupidly tried to throw it on some kids bout my age by grabbing one of them like three times in the back and twice in the head and I still didn't let go of the guy and grabbed another one then I started cracking away like a house fire. I just got home drunk and crazy. 010907 ... Norm My back has two ridiculously huge cuts on it that welt out about 3 inches. My head only has a small cut and no swelling at all. and my writing really doesn't look as bad as I expected it to. 010907 ... silentbob i don't like anger. I try to avoid people who make me angry. nothing is worth it. that might not be true. you should reserve your anger for the worst of crimes. like getting betrayed. and i mean True betrayal, not just like, "Oh my friend forgot to call me. I'm going to slash his tire and then beat up his girlfriend" or something like that. ahem. i'll stop speaking now. 020211 ... girl_jane What makes me angry is when people try to tell me how I feel or what I think. A guy did that to me last night. I was not happy, but he signed out of msn before I could respond to his fit. I haven't had a chance to talk to him yet. He can approach me first, or we just won't talk. 020211 ... lilac_air I can feel it under my skin burning I can feel it behind my eyes screaming I feel it deep in my cheast pounding In my mind I can see myself stabing you with a knife over and over again I keep it inside I keep anger inside where it fuels a fire burning inside 020212 ... girl_jane He apologized. 020212 ... green eyes Grrr, baby grrr 020225 ... Syrope he thinks i get angry for the wrong reasons...he says i think i can do a better job than anyone else and that makes me angry...well he's right, but it's not stuck -up ...I can do a better job than anyone else in my school...that's why i'm fucking president of everything and valedictorian. just give me a chance to demonstrate. am I not allowed to get angry because i'm on such a pedestal? did i ask to be put on one? thanks a lot, crappy society, for allowing me to look sooo great by comparison. to me, my life is perfectly normal, i'm not a freak because i try hard in school and like to be in control of what affects me. i have a right to be angry. 020226 ... blasco sometimes I feel so angry that I'd kill my mother for a shotgun 020226 ... kill rhythm he makes me so mad. but then i get upset that i got mad at him for something stupid. and then i feel like maybe he doesnt want me. look at what the anger brings about 020401 ... kill rhythm he expressed a lot of anger today when he did the show. savage_pastry rocks 020407 ... god i've never heard em, but i saw someone post some funny shit under that moniker @the youngstownscene.com message board. 020407 ... stacey "if you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape 100 days of sorrow." 020529 ... blown cherry Anger at not being able to smack someone's head into the wall when they've just damaged the person you care about the most. 020616 ... Mahayana {reference yourself} Wrath applies especially to anger that seeks vengeance or punishment Resentment refers to indignant smoldering anger generated by a sense of grievance Indignation is righteous anger at something wrongful, unjust, or evil {the race begins and they all take off, heading on towards the finish line ... but to finish what...?} 020920 ... sapphire_ that bleeds into utter profound sadness i thought i knew the meaning by the feeling but i guess i was wrong? such an intense desire to destroy i could i could i could but i won't what makes me weak is the sadness it's all empty after it's spent 030218 ... endless desire he said he couldn't feel it anymore. that it was like standing in a cold stream with your legs numb. you know you still have legs, but you just can't feel them anymore. he is numb to anger. i am numb to life. 030617 ... angry j. dear anger, shit happens, right? 030618 ... ashmanzhou i burn with my penchant hating fury i ache with my desire to end it yet i know there is nothing close to me and the end is coming close today 030630 ... User24 that's a good poem. me likes. 030630 ... ashmanzhou why doth thou enjoyst? why? why? how dare thee gleet at my solemnity? though doth find my enernal soul an amusement for thyself but it is emotion red and raw and emotion is as emotion doth it is all there then gone then smouldering a mere shadow again but thee doth feel grateful for its presence 030710 ... Death of a Rose feeling angry is a well. don't make it deep enough to produce anything valid to be angry at and you can whistle and skip down the gold brick road. 031009 ... Sam Vaknin Acute Anger Anger is a compounded phenomenon. It has dispositional properties, expressive and motivational components, situational and individual variations, cognitive and excitatory interdependent manifestations and psychophysiological (especially neuroendocrine) aspects. From the psychobiological point of view, it probably had its survival utility in early evolution, but it seems to have lost a lot of it in modern societies. Actually, in most cases it is counterproductive, even dangerous. Dysfunctional anger is known to have pathogenic effects (mostly cardiovascular). Most personality disordered people are prone to be angry. Their anger is always sudden, raging, frightening and without an apparent provocation by an outside agent. It would seem that people suffering from personality disorders are in a CONSTANT state of anger, which is effectively suppressed most of the time. It manifests itself only when the person's defences are down, incapacitated, or adversely affected by circumstances, inner or external. We have pointed at the psychodynamic source of this permanent, bottled-up anger, elsewhere in this book. In a nutshell, the patient was, usually, unable to express anger and direct it at "forbidden" targets in his early, formative years (his parents, in most cases). The anger, however, was a justified reaction to abuses and mistreatment. The patient was, therefore, left to nurture a sense of profound injustice and frustrated rage. Healthy people experience anger, but as a transitory state. This is what sets the personality disordered apart: their anger is always acute, permanently present, often suppressed or repressed. Healthy anger has an external inducing agent (a reason). It is directed at this agent (coherence). Pathological anger is neither coherent, not externally induced. It emanates from the inside and it is diffuse, directed at the "world" and at "injustice" in general. The patient does identify the IMMEDIATE cause of the anger. Still, upon closer scrutiny, the cause is likely to be found lacking and the anger excessive, disproportionate, incoherent. To refine the point: it might be more accurate to say that the personality disordered is expressing (and experiencing) TWO layers of anger, simultaneously and always. The first layer, the superficial anger, is indeed directed at an identified target, the alleged cause of the eruption. The second layer, however, is anger directed at himself. The patient is angry at himself for being unable to vent off normal anger, normally. He feels like a miscreant. He hates himself. This second layer of anger also comprises strong and easily identifiable elements of frustration, irritation and annoyance. While normal anger is connected to some action regarding its source (or to the planning or contemplation of such action) – pathological anger is mostly directed at oneself or even lacks direction altogether. The personality disordered are afraid to show that they are angry to meaningful others because they are afraid to lose them. The Borderline Personality Disordered is terrified of being abandoned, the narcissist (NPD) needs his Narcissistic Supply Sources, the Paranoid – his persecutors and so on. These people prefer to direct their anger at people who are meaningless to them, people whose withdrawal will not constitute a threat to their precariously balanced personality. They yell at a waitress, berate a taxi driver, or explode at an underling. Alternatively, they sulk, feel anhedonic or pathologically bored, drink or do drugs – all forms of self-directed aggression. From time to time, no longer able to pretend and to suppress, they have it out with the real source of their anger. They rage and, generally, behave like lunatics. They shout incoherently, make absurd accusations, distort facts, pronounce allegations and suspicions. These episodes are followed by periods of saccharine sentimentality and excessive flattering and submissiveness towards the victim of the latest rage attack. Driven by the mortal fear of being abandoned or ignored, the personality disordered debases and demeans himself to the point of provoking repulsion in the beholder. These pendulum-like emotional swings make life with the personality disordered difficult. Anger in healthy persons is diminished through action. It is an aversive, unpleasant emotion. It is intended to generate action in order to eradicate this uncomfortable sensation. It is coupled with physiological arousal. But it is not clear whether action diminishes anger or anger is used up in action. Similarly, it is not clear whether the consciousness of anger is dependent on a stream of cognition expressed in words? Do we become angry because we say that we are angry (=we identify the anger and capture it) – or do we say that we are angry because we are angry to start with? Anger is induced by numerous factors. It is almost a universal reaction. Any threat to one's welfare (physical, emotional, social, financial, or mental) is met with anger. But so are threats to one's affiliates, nearest, dearest, nation, favourite football club, pet and so on. The territory of anger is enlarged to include not only the person – but all his real and perceived environment, human and non-human. This does not sound like a very adaptative strategy. Threats are not the only situations to be met with anger. Anger is the reaction to injustice (perceived or real), to disagreements, to inconvenience. But the two main sources of anger are threat (a disagreement is potentially threatening) and injustice (inconvenience is injustice inflicted on the angry person by the world). These are also the two sources of personality disorders. The personality disordered is moulded by recurrent and frequent injustice and he is constantly threatened both by his internal and by his external universes. No wonder that there is a close affinity between the personality disordered and the acutely angry person. And, as opposed to common opinion, the angry person becomes angry whether he believes that what was done to him was deliberate or not. If we lose a precious manuscript, even unintentionally, we are bound to become angry at ourselves. If his home is devastated by an earthquake – the owner will surely rage, though no conscious, deliberating mind was at work. When we perceive an injustice in the distribution of wealth or love – we become angry because of moral reasoning, whether the injustice was deliberate or not. We retaliate and we punish as a result of our ability to morally reason and to get even. Sometimes even moral reasoning is lacking, as in when we simply wish to alleviate a diffuse anger. What the personality disordered does is: he suppresses the anger, but he has no effective mechanisms of redirecting it in order to correct the inducing conditions. His hostile expressions are not constructive – they are destructive because they are diffuse, excessive and, therefore, unclear. He does not lash out at people in order to restore his lost self-esteem, his prestige, his sense of power and control over his life, to recover emotionally, or to restore his well being. He rages because he cannot help it and is in a self-destructive and self-loathing mode. His anger does not contain a signal, which could alter his environment in general and the behaviour of those around him, in particular. His anger is primitive, maladaptive, pent up. Anger is a primitive, limbic emotion. Its excitatory components and patterns are shared with sexual excitation and with fear. It is cognition that guides our behaviour, aimed at avoiding harm and aversion or at minimising them. Our cognition is in charge of attaining certain kinds of mental gratification. An analysis of future values of the relief-gratification versus repercussions (reward to risk) ratio – can be obtained only through cognitive tools. Anger is provoked by aversive treatment, deliberately or unintentionally inflicted. Such treatment must violate either prevailing conventions regarding social interactions or some otherwise deeply ingrained sense of what is fair and what is just. The judgement of fairness or justice (namely, the appraisal of the extent of compliance with conventions of social exchange) – is also cognitive. The angry person and the personality disordered both suffer from a cognitive deficit. They are unable to conceptualise, to design effective strategies and to execute them. They dedicate all their attention to the immediate and ignore the future consequences of their actions. In other words, their attention and information processing faculties are distorted, skewed in favour of the here and now, biased on both the intake and the output. Time is "relativistically dilated" – the present feels more protracted, "longer" than any future. Immediate facts and actions are judged more relevant and weighted more heavily than any remote aversive conditions. Anger impairs cognition. The angry person is a worried person. The personality disordered is also excessively preoccupied with himself. Worry and anger are the cornerstones of the edifice of anxiety. This is where it all converges: people become angry because they are excessively concerned with bad things which might happen to them. Anger is a result of anxiety (or, when the anger is not acute, of fear). The striking similarity between anger and personality disorders is the deterioration of the faculty of empathy. Angry people cannot empathise. Actually, "counter-empathy" develops in a state of acute anger. All mitigating circumstances related to the source of the anger – are taken as meaning to devalue and belittle the suffering of the angry person. His anger thus increases the more mitigating circumstances are brought to his attention. Judgement is altered by anger. Later provocative acts are judged to be more serious – just by "virtue" of their chronological position. All this is very typical of the personality disordered. An impairment of the empathic sensitivities is a prime symptom in many of them (in the Narcissistic, Antisocial, Schizoid and Schizotypal Personality Disordered, to mention but four). Moreover, the aforementioned impairment of judgement (=impairment of the proper functioning of the mechanism of risk assessment) appears in both acute anger and in many personality disorders. The illusion of omnipotence (power) and invulnerability, the partiality of judgement – are typical of both states. Acute anger (rage attacks in personality disorders) is always incommensurate with the magnitude of the source of the emotion and is fuelled by extraneous experiences. An acutely angry person usually reacts to an ACCUMULATION, an amalgamation of aversive experiences, all enhancing each other in vicious feedback loops, many of them not directly related to the cause of the specific anger episode. The angry person may be reacting to stress, agitation, disturbance, drugs, violence or aggression witnessed by him, to social or to national conflict, to elation and even to sexual excitation. The same is true of the personality disordered. His inner world is fraught with unpleasant, ego-dystonic, discomfiting, unsettling, worrisome experiences. His external environment – influenced and moulded by his distorted personality – is also transformed into a source of aversive, repulsive, or plainly unpleasant experiences. The personality disordered explodes in rage – because he implodes AND reacts to outside stimuli, simultaneously. Because he is a slave to magical thinking and, therefore, regards himself as omnipotent, omniscient and protected from the consequences of his own acts (immune) – the personality disordered often acts in a self-destructive and self-defeating manner. The similarities are so numerous and so striking that it seems safe to say that the personality disordered is in a constant state of acute anger. Finally, acutely angry people perceive anger to have been the result of intentional (or circumstantial) provocation with a hostile purpose (by the target of their anger). Their targets, on the other hand, invariably regard them as incoherent people, acting arbitrarily, in an unjustified manner. Replace the words "acutely angry" with the words "personality disordered" and the sentence would still remain largely valid. 031014 ... scorpion heart is a feeling i have never learned. sometimes i try to be angry, just because i never have been. makes me feel a little odd...after i do something wrong they yell, "doesn't this make u mad?! hell, we're furious at you!" but i cannot find my anger. maybe one day it is going to pop out of me, like a little baby dragon pops out of an egg and erupts into a fire breathing monster. i would love to find that baby dragon. for now, i better get used to being the nice girl. 031117 ... . ironic post for someone with a name scorpion_heart. i'm not criticizing, i'm just saying is all... 031117 ... scorpion heart my new disorder: no-personality disorder 031117 ... scorpion heart haha i guess it is ironic, thats cool i like it when people read it 031117 ... pittsburgh the very long post above is just a scientific-sounding way of negating and ignoring the experience of those who deal with injustice every day... how do i know? i'm working on a Ph.D. in research psychology at a major university. the people who create and label the mentally ill - they don't have any real research to back up their statements. their treatments don't work. their industry is crumbling from the inside out and all their resources go towards maintaining a public facade. there is no such thing as a personality disorder. it is a label a clinical psychologist assigns you when they are unable to get you to conform to their worldview. anger is a necessary emotion. it sparks change. a recent study i read shows that only cynicism (NOT anger) is correlated with coronary disease and that people who tend to become angry in stressful situations report more feelings of self efficacy and are also (contrary to what the therapists would like you to believe) more likely to actually BE efficacious in those situations and to find appropriate and just solutions than are people who react with fear or suppression of hostility. i guess the point here is: don't let anyone (including me) tell you what to believe about human behavior. read the research for yourself! think critically! clinical psychology is a cult that makes a lot of money for its gurus. don't be a follower... 031118 ... misstree both of our fists clenched and unclenched, hostile dogs pacing a fence. we were snarling and seething but smoothed down by needing to comfort. i could smell the anger in the air, dangerous and barely muted. it was a tug of war between the aggressor and ourselves for blindly acting wrongly. hurt and rage. there is a twenty-four hour leash. the end of those hours feels like a baseball bat to a stained glass window. 040218 ... Candy Anger=Matt. Matt is the only thing that causes me to have any kind of anger. He sucks. He cheated on me, lied to me, and currently owes me lots and lots of money. Matt sucks! I hate Matt! Anger sucks! It sucks to be angry at Matt. I wish Matt would just never come around me again... except to give me money... WHICH HE OWES ME! 040218 ... americantune the torch of a thousand seasons 040702 ... blown cherry absolute fury raging about inside this flesh repository. It pulses and bounds, trying to free itself from the formation I have forced it into, and am draining every ounce of strength and my last few drops of sanity to maintain. It's an anger moulded into shape from the pulpy and sodden mess of despair that I am warily trying to tame, since there is simply to be no fleeing from it. I know better than to turn my back though, for even the merest slip of time. Anger may have jagged teeth, but at least it obeys my command, misery however knows no master other than the will for conquest of my soul. someone said that anger_is_just_love_disappointed, perhaps they weren't far wrong. 050109 ... patience i like this emotion. it takes a stand. it pays attention. 050315 ... endo The anger keeps building. I’m getting headaches now. What is wrong? I’m beginning to burn out. This sorry excuse for a life seems to be going nowhere. I’m really pissed off about everything (but I don’t show it). My headaches are getting stronger. I have to concentrate on relaxing. Inside - Violence: Outside – Calm Inside – Hate: Outside – Love Inside – Turmoil: Outside – Poise This introversion is getting me nowhere. At this point I see no future. The past sucked. The present sucks and it stand to reason that the future will suck as well. It’s a matter of finding myself. Knowing who I am. Twenty eight and I am still searching. That’s probably why I am unlovable. Perhaps I need a different approach to life. This perpetual anger I feel is like a fuel to me. Perhaps I need a different fuel. What will it take? What will it take to give me a sense of hope, a sense of accomplishment? 050331 ... nickapocket To boil, to burst, to explode...*~* to vent your pain on another through a form of force and the means of violence. Anger is a misunderstood cry for help, a cry most usally denied... 051223 ... wadayan0 the kaimoana company Sealord is half owned by a japanese company involved in whaleing 051223 ... German Proverb Anger without power is folly. 071208 ... different now so much of it it's hard being you, isn't it? 080324 ... nr this is a satisfying and useful emotion when it appears. 190114 ... f i think almost always it back fires and then the result is much worse than the original act logically anger doesn't work to solve problems but as you say, its an emotion and possibly one that you have to learn to control some people go on courses to to do that 190115 ... unhinged on_anger sadhana_of_mahamudra the sadhana is a wrathful deity practice. during the part of the sadhana that describes dorje_trolo chogyam_trungpa rinpoche talks about the anger without hate. when i first started my sadhana practice that part of the sadhana was an enlightenment that smacked me in the forehead. now i think of anger as a motivation instead of an emotional fault. that paradigm_shift makes life immeasurably easier. 190115 ... nr it's definitely essential to be able to control your anger. i can be too passive and forgiving of people's actions, though, especially people i care about, and tend to make excuses for them. giving people the benefit of the doubt can be a good thing, but there are times when it's not deserved. it's helpful to me when i'm actually able to feel legitimate anger in these instances and hold people accountable. 190115 ... nr i also feel anger as a motivation. it helps me feel more in control, which might seem ironic. it can give a more passive person power. 190115 ... nr ...can also lead to coming up with word combos like Passive Person Power, which should probably be a title for something. 190115 what's it to you? who go blather from