analysis sphinxradio i can understand, of course, why there are things i can't tell. i knew going into this job that the ability to keep my mouth shut would be crucial. i just wish you would realize the effect you have on other people. you might think it's humble or modest to act as though you don't matter to anyone, but really, it's inconsiderate. 011115 ... Aaron i'm a paranoid schitzophrenic... it was caused by massive drug use.. a part of my brain is burnt out and i have to take medication every day.. 011231 ... On/Off Switch Mechanical stressed and squeezed forward, just another ink blot on an otherwise forgettable breakfast table. 040408 ... unhinged i have run circles around my own mind recently trying to come up with reasons why the sadhana_of_mahamudra means so much to me and has affected me so profoundly. maybe it is because of the wake of planning and getting a tattoo based on the practice. maybe it is because i was taught to analyze in college and the habit has spread from music to all parts of my life. maybe it is because i am american, and american culture has developed a habit of analyzing usefulness, efficiency, purpose. maybe it doesn't matter what the reasons are if the end result has made me a better person, led me to a better place. i have always been a devotional person and now i have something profound to place my devotion in, not something or someone that does nothing but squander it. i have always been a reflective person, but the sadhana has turned my face to the present. i'm sure that was the point. over a thousand years ago, someone buried a teaching in a cave in the middle of the himalayas, knowing that in the unforetold future people like me would benefit from it. like a squirrel hiding nuts of wisdom for the long winter of an unseen epoch in our shared human history, he buried them 'maybe this should wait for later.' i turn my face from suffering to find my basic_goodness the wonder and awe of what humans can build when we focus on certain (i hesitate to say right) things the why doesn't really matter when the how brings us together in happiness 150105 ... fishawk The third paragraph about the nuts of wisdom... Perfect. I have trouble knowing the difference between analogy and metaphor... But what you said here was very good. 150105 what's it to you? who go blather from