trying deb i sit here trying to ignore the ringing in my ears but it persists what is it that they said when i was young? that when you hear that sound that it means someone is thinking of you? or is that when your nose itches? 000112 ... energy Trying is not enough and is sometimes not necesary. 000907 ... ... wont save my life. i WILL. figure it out for yourself. i WILL. 010121 ... Chrity go to: i_have_words 010408 ... Lateralus there is no purpose of doing it, cause it gets you no where in the end 020309 ... sotto voce "Kids, you tried your best, and failed miserably... The lesson is, NEVER TRY" - Homer Simpson 020319 ... blown cherry I'd been thinking to myself all day today, since not long after I got up that tonight I would have to try and find the trying blather and say my bit, and when I got here, it was sitting at the top of yesterdays blathers. So much for trying. Anyway, I was going to say I've been trying and trying to fight out this battle in my head. I don't know who is winning. The tears well up in my eyes all the time because the battle is rough and it's hard to standby and watch. Strenghts and weaknesses. Strengths or weaknesses? Get over it. Be Bridget Jones and move on. Fuck that. What is life without passion? Even that silly maid in Gosford Park knew that. I don't give a shit about myself. I am the most selfish person I know. Trying to dodge the contradictions at every turn. Trying to blot out the noise in my head by turning up the car stereo so loud the speakers all distort. Trying to sleep forever so I never have to be awake. It gets noisy when I'm awake. Not all the time, but a lot of it. I try and drown myself in the music so I can't hear myself think. Thinking might drive me crazy. I don't know how to try not to think. Trying trying trying. I try all the time. Never does any good. 020320 ... Jerimee dodge ball trying to avoid passive acceptance of its trajectory mistake, and in fact think of it as a kind of greed, that is, trying to have more he won't talk without trying to teach you a lesson 020616 ... asdfa thankyou for trying 030525 ... trippingdaisy i can't promise i'll try. but i'll TRY to try. 030526 ... wervil to find a way out of this mess 030711 ... Glory Box to stay clean playing keepaway from sadness (who holds my foolish heart now?) rising tracing tendrils through the air in my green room cold room laced through with smoke you never called. you said you would. you have one more day. 030920 ... scorpion heart hard. 031116 ... wolverine trying to hard is bad like attempting to swat a fly buzzing around your head with a sledgehammer the more effort you put into it the more likely you are to get hurt 040204 ... witchesrequiem Trying to beat this anxiety. Trying to beat this insanity. Trying to let you go. Trying to find you again. Trying not to disappoiont them. Trying to get through this life. Trying to beleive in fantasy and playgrounds. 040204 ... Lost trying to be myself but it dosn't seem to come naturally to me. 040910 ... misstree it's two degrees outside. he really wants beer. for things that are important, i am willing to exert much effort, endure much discomfort. he really wants beer. it's TWO degrees outside. and my lungs feel like ash and my nose hasn't stopped producing prodigious amounts of goo for two weeks. it's TWO degrees outside. he's working on paperwork. he really wants beer. (sigh.) "let me just finish poking at blather first." blip. brrr. 041223 ... coco trying to stay away from here, but what else is there to do on long, sleepless nights? Really, Someone tell me. 041224 ... nom i tried all day 070118 ... no reason i really am but i'm having trouble 080625 ... no reason i really am but i'm having trouble 080625 ... no reason "i'm trying to post only once but i'm having trouble" 080625 ... jio jio 100215 what's it to you? who go blather from