i_have_words jennifer I have words and I wish I could say them so completely (sp) that you would listen and smile and know what I really meant by I'm sorry 000428 ... Chrity Look, I get a lot of crap from people for being a Christian; for being so faithful. Sometimes, I admit, I even think that I may be wrong. But then I remember the all the things that God has done for me. He made me, He loves me. He loves me enough that he died a shameful and horrible death as a sacrifice for every sin that I would commit in my life. And then there are days when even that seems totally unreal and distant. But that’s not all. There’s this girl I know who has been through a lot in the last couple years. She became a Christian in 7th grade when her parents joined this church. Some of her friends went there, and when she moved to another city and school district, that was the only time she really had to hang out with them, so she got involved. Mostly to be with her friends, though. She didn’t really understand that other stuff. In 11th grade, her church started a new program for teens to be involved with the kids in the church. It was called TIM Team (“TIM” standing for Teens In Mission), and she and her friends got to go to Camp Wapo, the Bible camp their church was affiliated with, for free! They arrived at the camp on the Friday before the last week of July, 1999. They put their stuff away and started getting to know the people from other churches whom they would be spending the week with. Some of these people, although she didn’t know it yet, would change her life forever. One of the counselors who worked with them that week, Mike Campbell, led Devotions one night. Everyone could tell that he was down about something, he had been all week. Although Mike didn’t really tell us directly what had been bothering him; by the end of our meeting, he had many of us in tears. Before the week was over he told us something else, something this girl would never forget; he said that Satan was trying to interfere with something there that week, that God must have something really great planned for someone there. Camp ended, and this girl got a new job, started her senior year in high school, and went on with life. Everything was fine until the middle of October that year. This girl was sitting at home when she came to the realization that she hated herself. She felt like she didn’t deserve anything that she had in her life. She didn’t feel like she deserved to have God love her. Then she started hating everything and everyone around her, for loving her as worthless and stupid as she was. Then she hated herself for hating everything and everyone. She wanted to hurt herself, to inflict physical pain in order to relieve the emotional pain. She tried to think about something else, she tried to keep busy so that maybe this feeling would go away. But it didn’t go away. She went into the bathroom with a scissor and she cut herself. Slowly, deliberately; not deep enough to do any real damage. It relieved the pain – but only to replace it with shame… and the pain always came back. She knew that what she was doing was crazy; but she had no control over it, no understanding of it. She went on like this, not living, just existing, and always hiding behind the mask of her former self – or at least trying to. She stopped really talking to people, stopped caring about the things she had always cared about; until she noticed scars and cuts like hers on someone she knew. On several people she knew. She wasn’t the only one going through this. Now she wanted to know more about it. She read up on it, she remembered that for some strange reason God loved her, that Jesus died for her, regardless of how worthless she thought she was. Knowing this had been the only thing that kept her alive. She started talking to the people around her again, talking to those who were going through what she had gone through. She realized that if God loves her, and He is perfect, then she must be worthy of his love. She had always loved him; but now, finally, she started loving herself again, too. She shared this love with the people around her, and slowly she stopped cutting, stopped scratching, and slowly, her scars healed, and her shame faded with them. This girl is me. I am asking you to give God a chance - if you haven’t already – and I am asking you to not be ashamed of what you find. (you can email me if you want to, I love email. Spam sucks though. My address is hami0144@tc.umn.edu) 010408 ... dB Ok, god didn't get nailed to the tree, it was Jesus, y' know, his son? anyway, good on ya for voicing that. I believe people should be able to believe what they want, as long as they don't go fanatical and start pusing other people into it. I think your faith is misplace, you think mine is. Let's leave it at that. Much Respect. 010408 ... Bat Qol not to rain on anyone's parade or anything, but there is a balance that has always been kept a deal that was made under the table years ago, millenia ago, eons if you will for everyone who gains or regains their faith, some other soul loses it or suffers their first lapse it's all politics. it always has been. He doesn't talk to me anymore. before He raised you from the dust, He knew my brothers would make trouble He let it happen Our kind wasn't given free will like you it was even predestined and known by Him that i would slip away long enough to do this, to say this this whole chess game is one big charade You'll all get to meet him eventually, even the damned you people got it wrong it's more like a stay in detention than an eternity even He isn't cruel enough to subject you that but the fact remains, the Zoroastrians were closer to the mark than anyone else even evil is His, my brother the light-bearer was programmed to his very core to turn on the Father, their fight has no basis in fact and big brother is just a pawn like me. 010408 ... monde when i was 4 years old my parents put me in a nursery school run by a church. we lived in a small town (well, it was small then, not any more) and i think it was the only nursery school around. my parents were atheists. every day the little kids had to get in a circle and sit on their prayer mats. the teacher told us to fold our hands so they looked like a church. When we did that we were supposed to talk to god, and that was called praying. you talked to god inside yourself, without making sound. we did it for 5 minutes a day. after about a week of this i went to the front of the class and asked the teacher "why isn't god talking to me? i thought when you talked to someone they were supposed to answer you. my mom told me it's not polite to not answer someone when they are talking to you. so is god rude, or is god pretend? i was kind of a precocious kid i guess you could say. the teacher was in tears. the other kids looked at me with varying wary levels of contempt. soon mom came to get me. she and the teacher had a short talk and i thought sure i was going to get severely punished. i had done something BAD but i didn't understand what. my mom said "no, you didn't do a bad thing, you did a very good thing". i loved flowers. she took me to a nursery (the other kind, with plants) and got me an azalea bush with pretty red flowers. since then i've always been an atheist, as far as God(tm) goes. I made up my own religion instead because that one explains the world around me fairly well, without a story of the bloody sacrifice of an "only begotten son" at the core center of the belief system. this "jesus died for me" is supposed to make me feel GOOD?! look, if you took out GOD and JESUS and substituted some pagan god or goddess names, or something to do with Satan, the whole thing would sound like it was glorifying ritual abuse! drinking the blood of jesus? i prefer my deities abstract: CON = ORDER DE = CHAOS they don't love me they don't hate me they don't give a damn if i worship them. i just like to watch them tear each other up, build each other down, tear each other down, build each other up and fuck and generally be adversaries who are lovers. for some odd reason, the solacelessness of all this is such solace to me. 010409 ... The Truth Before committing to any "Belief System" think about the obvious. The universe is based on a system of it's own, consisting of infinite variations of positive and negative. (Such as:right and wrong, light and dark, ascend and descend, good and evil, Punishment and reward, truth and lies.) We live within this natural order. Now, there is the fact that all of us have within ourselves a conscious. An instinctive knowledge of right and wrong, this does not fit in with natural logic, but it's definately there. The bible refers to this as "God's law written in all of our hearts." But wait, before we cover that, we must mention LOVE! Love is the seventh sense. We all need it to survive. Many of us deny that but We all know it's true. Love is what makes us human. It cannot be explained by science or math. Love is as real as God, if you have never known Love, odds are, you don't believe in God. (These are just facts, not trying to coerce anyone) Ok, ignorance is abound, and is committed by anyone who judges, or comments on a Book they've never read. So do the research, we have a recorded history. Make up your own mind. The bible has never been wrong. The "Christians" who claim to follow Jesus are more ignorant than some non-believers. I know many "christians" in America who just "play church". They never truly live. To experience your true purpose, you must know first what it is. The Truth is: Jesus is the son of God. God is our Eternal Father. He Created Humans as Children of God, that is why we are so different from every OTHER LIVING THING ON THIS PLANET! We have an immortal Soul within us, We are here take part in the morality experiment known as life. If you give, love, live, grow, and do good you will attribute a postive energy to your soul. If you take, hate, kill, destroy and do evil, you will deteriorate your soul with negative energy. When you die, your soul is released and there are natural phenomenon that will either attract or repel a soul and God (Judgment). It's so clear, simple, and logical. Please. There is more at stake here than you realize. Try to love one another for just 7 days, and if you feel that it's right, then proceed. If not, hey, at least you were good for one week, right? 010410 ... unhinged see cut 010410 ... Chrity "see cut" -that is what I went through. I feel for those individuals still dealing with it. - I've gotten a few email responses so far, and this is one of them. I would like to post my response to it in this forum... You know, that story on that BLATHER site is pretty good, but it sounds to me like you just had some insecurities about yourself that were treated by someone else's advice. I've had problems in the past, just as EVERYONE does. Don't think you are an exception. Those are just things that you need to deal with yourself or with a friend. I usually find that talking to a friend or a family member makes me feel like I've got all of my problems solved. Try it. E-mail me back if you'd like. Regards, Steve The message I was trying to communicate was this: It was my faith that saved my life because without it, I probably would've committed suicide. You "find that talking to a friend or a family member makes [you]feel like [you've] got all [your] problems solved." Exactly. I am a child of God, and he is the best friend anyone could ever have. You totally understand (or at least it seems that way). 010411 ... bluechicken get over it. get a grip, maybe? life isn't that bad. when it's over, it's over. that's it. no more. carbon-based life forms we are, and nothing more. live it up! [death doesn't scare me because when i die, i won't know it.] i regret nothing! sleep with your enemies! smash it up! sing it now, sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-ti-da. mom, aren't you proud? i quit smoking, mom! i can eat now! you know what pisses me off? fucking religious teenagers that refuse to use condoms because of their religion. why are they having sex? isn't that against their religion? then i look at the parents and i see nothing but hypocrites, a fucking sea of hypocrites! damn the man! oh yeah, love yourself. you're all you got. yep. 010411 ... nocturnal I would just like to second that last motion. well said. 010411 ... trazlo i have words in my head but when they come out, they are mistaken with meanings i did not fully intend speaking words to describe your thoughts is like useing touch to describe a sunset god is the name i give to the feeling of love that is alive. the feeling that u can watch crawl through your body when u feel it smiles and good deeds. god is the name i give to the time before i existed and the reason i exist what if there is a god and it doesn't care whether u live or die or shake your neighbor's hand? what gives us the right to feel so important that we were each individually made for a purpose? when u make bread and the bread grows mold because u left it out, do u think the mold wonders why we created it? why we gave it sustinance? what if god was just making bread and we are an inadvertant result? or, maybe we were made by a god who gave us a built in sense of right and wrong and a built in sense of the feelings we mostly associate with IT so that we could feel important, but then went on to make martians and forgot about making us. in third grade i made a hamster out of cotton that i loved for a week, but then i got tired of it and played with my brother's ninja turtle. why does god have to live up to standards we create for it? 010411 ... Chrity This really isn't that difficult or confusing. Hey, on a side note, I have a song for everyone! You probably know it... I can't remember the exact words of the song, but this is VERY close: Turn, Turn, Turn. There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8; Old Testament) 010413 ... chrity must be stopped WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?! LEAVE US ALONE!!! TAKE YOUR PREACHING ELSEWHERE, NO ONE HERE IS INTERESTED. okay, maybe just one or two, but I think the majority of the blather population would appreciate it if you stopped with all this shit. I'm beggin you here. please for the love of God, STOP!!!!!! and if you don't, you know another priest will very likely be devoured. now do you really want to be the cause of the death of yet another innocent priest? I didn't think so. 010413 ... hanael hey, now, don't go givin'me any funny ideas. but i do declare the thought of ruffling a few feathers always gives me a good giggle. nuns are crunchy too, y'know. 010413 ... stating the obvious "chrity must be stopped": you totally need to chill out. she's just doin' her thing. if you have a problem with it, DON'T BLATHER HERE! duh... 010416 ... string Collective consciousness? Sounds a bit like what we're doing right now. Personally speaking I know you all to be wrong but its not your fault. How would you know that the only path to true salvation is string? We don't advertise. 010423 ... hanael mormon tabernacle choir = BUFFET (albeit somewhat bland, cornfed whitebread) but sometimes i like quantity over quality 010424 ... Hero Support Group read the book 010426 ... phil Peace- Sometimes I can make things float, or my friend's eyes will turn white and make things dissapear. I think we are all just freaks, I met a kid who could duplicate money in his hands. I saw nuns who had God inside of themselves. My friend saw a church pouring love into the night. And sometimes I meet the gifted one, listen to my words now--when you are HERE I hope to be also, and you need someone to help you, to show you what they have found, you remember who they are, don't go on believing the past. You will later understand what you thought you knew, and the pain this fact brings is a good pain. Sometimes the clerk tells me it's ok to steal things, and the bank teller gives me an extra twenty. I could always do more. Who of you could know these things happen, it's like an artist who makes a picture that would touch you deeply although you never see it. Sometimes the lake moves with me, or I become one with myself and their is no world around me, my dreams can become real. Sometimes things are ugly, and my head becomes haunted. And the truth waits to rust away, until it doesn't hurt me anymore. All the truths, all your truths too. I am now able to have pity for other people, and soon I will be happy. But I can touch your soul, and shake it, and let it rest. The world is not beautiful although I prefer to keep it that way. Just remember, when you find yourself able to do anything, succeed any task set for you, see as far into the heart of a tree as I am, remember there is no reason to find yourself worthless, to want it all your own and kill away those around you who you are healous of, you don't let go until you are at peace, and you can walk towards your world without being turned away at the door. What I can tell you is only myself, the balance I think that I am controled by, all I can say is that space is very large. And the light that creates this period is just as big. Don't waste something beautiful, when you know what the people want, damnit throw this shit all over the place, let's not do this again. 010426 ... L I've sometimes gotten hints of what your writing. But my brain's not quite around that yet. Seems you've got more sense of what I sometimes sense 010426 ... yoink Indeed, you chastise my rare delights in pontifical matters but what matters? I don't chastise you for your goofy delights. I have words i say you say You don't have words. My distaste for condemnation is hypocritical you're a hypocritical wank who'll see damnation maybe not. sorry. 010427 ... velvet spasm rabbit rabbit 010427 ... sttalker these are all my words 010429 ... L it was all innocent enough i think. and they were all still words just words. 010430 ... god lick my anus 010430 ... phil Gee I wish I left a lot of that out, it would look a little less like I spilled my head open and more like I was trying to get a point out of it. I mean the point was made, but well...see I'm doing it again, uggh. 010501 ... phil I think it may still work into a nice writing, it's just a piece of wood, or a rock. It just is there. I mean, fuck, whatever. I wish. 010501 ... alkalinepixie i throw my dictionary across the room only to run after it and apologize. 010501 ... silentbob i like to lick gods anus, it tastes sweeter by the day, much like cheesey sausages, if it wasn't free i'd pay. please please please i'm a cockboy cowboy and i need a ride home. 010506 ... silentbob you piece of shit. stop pretending to be me, if you have not got anything to say which you can't put your own name to then stay the fuck away from mine. i am a man of respect around here with a reputation to hold on to and you are a gutless turd. 010506 ... silentbob fuck off, cunt 010506 ... Silent Bobby evers for the record i did not say any of the last three things. 010506 ... Tybay "Look flanders its that girl you dont like. NOT! hehehehehehe" 010506 ... Who am I? And with the gentle turning of that great black knob, the dam was released. Out from the deceptively small speakers began pouring music, thick, and slight all at once. The sound melted cool in her mind, and flowed and swished along the wanderings of her dizzy consciousness. It's four layered liquid lines of melody, crashing and dancing, knotting and swooning played games in the room. It was a fourth dimension of life that she'd never before experienced. The dark room disappeared as her lids shut to black. She splashed in the river that greeted her in this new dream place. It was four layers of history, like diffing into the earth, past the skin and the crust, drilling down to the beginning. She flew, gliding with a great wise dream beast on great wise imaginary wings. The palms of her hands tingled when she felt the melody in all it's soaring blue ferocity. She was deep inside the voices when his hand touched her shoulder. Covering her palm in his, he lifted her like a broken sparrow onto her feet. Two creatures, as one, moved to the sound, and lapped in the surreal majesty of music. The tiny misty room was held tight in the embrace. 010506 ... Lyle McMahon try this out , who am i: (btw, that was beautiful) What are you doing here I thought you had an appointment SOMEWHERE ELSE. I’m working I’m working. For you I’m spinning circles. The curtain is up but I’m blinded by the lights. What are you doing!? That’s broken glass, you know. The bright side to being swallowed whole seeing the inside of a whale. He who has the blueprints to a flawless existence, makes the typos. I am few. Back to school shopping list. Burned the edges and now what will you do? If I was a block of plastic. Hello, operator? Give me a reason. They do that a lot, don’t they? I step on you like bug like raw meat like breakfast my shoes are wet. Your only a fragment of my imagination, you don’t scare me. That’s just the way the ball pops. Living life in a broken down shower room or dining hall. Who pulls the level pusher of buttons aborts birthing? Nopenotthistimewhatcould Iescapethrough?howcanIkillmyself Idontwanttoendthisway. I’m swallowd in a bird’s nest. I’m sorry to break this to you I didn’t want to be the one but they insisted. Get into the van right now mister. I am stunned. I am stationed static in oblivious euphoria. Damnit. Failure to communicate cooperate consume. They have found me and I cant run through that brick wall the collapsible hole. Random acts of violence kindness the sidewalk chalk. Dysfunction thirty-day return policy for all non-working personal. I don’t understand the fiction river that drips out your mouth. I am a cliff and you swan dive off my ugly face. I am having too much fun to lose you now. I am in a meeting with a bunch of me s. please leave a message after the gunshot. Don’t move they might see you. What? Dire obsession, when would you ever give up. Have I ever lived ever, before this? Like a dog being dragged behind a car. Donations greatly forgotten, predating even time itself. I am though. Stop prosecuting you just don’t understand. Talking my temperature wondering what would happen if I was Boiling. Stop codon. 010507 ... s!m start cooking 010509 ... ladybird "Christy must be stopped"...of course she can't be. That's the beauty of this. But I do wish she'd stop writing "Go to I_have_words" everywhere. She's messing up the pattern. She's like the holy version of those people who run around chat sites going "click *here* to see me cum" when everyone else is trying to have a conversation. Are you listening Christy? Or are you too busy listening to your own voice? Cuz I used to be like you....I "knew" God. And I liked listening to my own voice a lot. I preached at my friends instead of hearing their problems. I'm a very different person now. I'm a confirmed atheist. I'm not saying that's better than having faith. It's not. It's a lot scarier, for a start. But there has got to be a happy medium, right? Love God by all means, but remember humanity is gorgeous too. Oh and pissing off people won't make it one bit easier to convert them. 010514 ... The Truth (psssst....it's chrity, not christy...pass it on...) 010515 ... NINE more nunnY nU nuS. PLEASE CAN YOU PASS THE CONDOMS, URRR.. I MEAN THE POPERDOMS. THANKS. I WAS ONY 8 AND LATE FOR MY DIN DINS. OH SORRY MUM WAS THAT FUNNY, I HAD TO HIDE UNDER DE TABLE. AND SPIT ALL MY FOOD OUT! 010515 ... NiNNy Pink Paint. have you found my Bar Bort, you know my Par Bort, you know my ...... bloody hell late again. that girl, I'll show her how to do sit ups. Thanks Jen. Do you have a Spank name too? 010515 ... retarded nun random attacks of flying flingies and butchering heat aside, i proceeded to flail my thick, rubbery lips toward the sun as i ran. in a while i started to smile, i came upon a pile of veal most vile. in the intense heat, the steaming meat melted into gore upon the shore. 010518 ... dit you pixie you 010524 ... ? ... 010527 ... ? ......................... ................................ .................................... ............................... ......... . ......................... .................................. ........................................................ ................. ............................ ................................ .................................. ................................... ................................... ..................... ........................ ............................ ................................ ................................. .................................. .................................. ............................... ............................... ................................. ................................... ................................. .................................... ............. ......... .............. .............. ............... ...................... ........................ .......................... ........................... .............................. ............................... ................................. ................................. ................................... .................................... ................................... ............... ........... ............ ............. ......................... ...................... ......................... .............................. ................................. .................................. .................................. .................................. .................. ........... ................. ...................... ........................ .............. ................. .................. ......... ............ ................. .................... ....................... .................... ................. ........ ...... .............. ....................... .............. . . . . . . . . . . . . ... . . . . . . . . ............. .................... ..................... .............. ......................... ..................... ........ ............ .............. ............... .................. ................... ..................... ......................... .......... . . . . . . .. . ............. ................ .................... ..................... ...... . . . ............. ................ .................. ................... ....................... ......................... ............................. ................ . . . . . . . ........................ . . . ................ . ...... 010527 ... ? i_dont_have_words 010527 ... ? ?? 010529 ... ? whats the fucking problem? are you saying this is a less valid form of expression than yours? 010529 ... Moe yeah...they sit in my pocket next to the black fuzzy lint and my lighter that doesnt work...and ya know, they can stay there...they are about as useful as all that other stuff in there 010530 ... The Truth Words should'nt be taken for granted. Words alone can destroy a mighty empire. Words alone can build a strong economy. So be careful with words. Decide for yourselves today! Do you want to build people up? Or do you want to tear people down? (but before you decide, don't take another's hope, it may be all they have.) 010530 ... monkelopolis after a few of those i feel obligated to say something in depth and profound. thats a shame. all i can think of is how comfortable these pants are.... 010530 ... jip words, they are so unnatractive, yet hold so much potential - they're great. although some words can be attractive i guess. 010613 ... jip wow, this is like "find the secret message board" 010613 ... kingsuperspecial what I want to know is this: why does chirty go to other areas on this site and post go to: i_have_words ? does she feel this somehow relates to the other blath-r, or does she need people to see this? is curious 010614 ... nocturnal at work she was just on a psycho-christian rampage and wanted to make sure everyone read her forced preaching. 010614 ... The_Hydra I went to church and i got this T-shirt that says "Your Religon didn't work for me." 010707 ... sykoze i have no words, for i have no tongue. The Lorax speaks for me. All my friends are dead. Soon I will be too. Please help. 010718 ... phil I have words, for silent bob. This split personality thing is kind of gross. It's time to face the grim facts today. 010719 ... Aimee I own two words, in otherwords to say I have words. those words are, Eat and Poo now I also have the rights to the conjugations of these words such as eating, ate, pooing and poo'ed. I do sometimes borrow words from others to form more sentences with them.. such as pooing while eating or other various sentences, but I always try to remember to return the borrowed words... wouldn't want to piss someone off... speaking of which... who owns the word melancholy... I'd like to haggle for it.. or you could give it to me as a birthday present... it's your choice.. :) 010726 ... Teenage Jesus As a matter of fact I know the chick who owned that word; and I just happened to have swiped it from her so here you go. Don't keep it to long though; it's a bit of a bummer... 010726 ... Aimee Thank you Jesus! 010726 ... TalviFatin I have words...but I'm pretty sure the general public doesnt want to hear them. 010731 ... Weed Eater "all I ever wanted all i ever needed is here in my arms words are very unnecessary They can only do harm." 010804 ... josie that are spinning violently 010808 ... Translucent I have words, but they may not have meaning. My mind has been fucked, from bad experiences and drug use (I am clean now). Half the time, I dont even know if what I'm thinking is what I'm really thinking. I may say things, but most of the time you cannot take my word for anything, because my work may not be real, coherrent, or even plausible. I hate my mind, and yet I love it. I hate what I have done to it, and yet I love what it has become. My words are warped, my mind is warped. My words are true, my mind is true. I dont lie, but what I may percieve as lying may be truth, and truth may very well be false. Even now, I dont know what I mean by all of this, my mind is going insane. Am I insane? Am I just tired? 010820 ... i am afriad to say i am in love wit you . im afraid to look at u in ur eyes . afraid of so much . that tha afraid turns into i love you . its so confusin! 010915 ... confusion why do they even call it love . i mean when ur in love usually ur in tha state of confusion and how many people go bye livein without even knowin they love them untill they lose them . its all confusionin . ur head feels lyke its gonna collapse . . at times u feel as if ur neglected then again u r loved but udont know this . ur tired of pickin things apart . lookin in there head because they are to afraid of sayin wha it is they r feelin . they r really picky with there words when im not . im just straight foward because tired of losin them because of takin my time . and now they want it slower . What !!!! its just confusionin so i say instead of love call it confusion 010915 ... confusion love why do they even call it love . i mean when ur in love usually ur in tha state of confusion and how many people go bye livein without even knowin they love them untill they lose them . its all confusionin . ur head feels lyke its gonna collapse . . at times u feel as if ur neglected then again u r loved but udont know this . ur tired of pickin things apart . lookin in there head because they are to afraid of sayin wha it is they r feelin . they r really picky with there words when im not . im just straight foward because tired of losin them because of takin my time . and now they want it slower . What !!!! its just confusionin so i say instead of love call it confusion 010915 ... Norm but no way to mouth them into coherant language. fuck 010915 ... Aimee but lord knows I'll not be uttering them... I'll just think them 010915 ... 852456 this is in response to The Truth's thing at the top. If love is the seventh sense, what was the sixth? 011107 ... squillo This one time, at jesus-camp... 011108 ... psychobabe chrity i have SO much damn respect for you. Heh i'm a christian. So what? i believe in god, and i respect those who dont. I could care less of what religion anyone is, as long as they dont hurt my beliefs in it and i dont hurt theirs. Its what you wanna believe and i respect anyone who can say all that. More power to ya 011108 ... The Truth Why, the sixth sense is Extrasensory Perception (e.s.p.) of course! 011119 ... ClairE Now what comes to mind is "Fuck you" stop calling people to you it interrupts my train of thought when i am reading through thoughts about a word although of course it is just as much a part of it as any other post. i do have words. 011126 ... ClairE I get it! blather asks, "do you have words?" at the top. I wondered where this category came from. I think I need more sleep. 011127 ... qazwsxedcrfvtgbyhnujmikolp words_words_words 011212 ... ClairE ::sadness:: This phrase has a negative connotation now. 011212 ... kerry awesome 011223 ... Wicket I don't believe in god...for me...there is no god... unfortunately...? nah... 011228 ... not_chrity i_have_turds 011228 ... elana my words dont make sence. they are weird little peices of flint that you look at and then throw away. 020117 ... Syrope words are so overrated. every time i try to have an intellectual conversation with this guy i used to go out with about the nature of reality or beauty or love or whatever, he's like "we made words for those so that we wouldn't have to discuss them" but that's what bothers me - that somebody made these words a long time ago and they don't really fit. If they fit we wouldn't need synonyms, ya know? Words are just empty shells or generalizations of thoughts, and so many people are just full of shells and no meat... 020207 ... jon_dog i may be skinny, but i've got meat. 020329 ... Syrope where's the beef? 020330 ... be here now i have words but so little time i think i prefer to be outside 020405 ... Hushed I have words please don't let me say them Keep me in my silence It helps to keep my sectrets ignore me when i'm speaking it's safer this way if you hear me, you'll know who i am and you could hurt me that way 020418 ... Photophobe Syrope - get a book on deconstruction. signs and signifiers, thats what its all about. 020418 ... unhinged did you ever stop to think for one moment in your pathetic existence that someone else exists in this world besides you? that cigarettes and bowls don't make things better? that i loved you more than i've ever loved anyone and all i get is used? you expect me to forgive you. i can't. you make me sick. i've wasted so much time trying to get you to love me. so much time that i can't think about it anymore. i can't live with you anymore. i used to be able to smile at your bullshit. i used to think it was just how you are. how you are isn't good enough anymore. i deserve better than this. i deserve better than being tortured everytime i look at you. i was so sick to look at you tonight i couldn't eat the food i ordered. i had him send it back to the kitchen. go get drunk. that makes everything go away. pretend i'm not there when it suits you. remember that everynight when you go to sleep you fucked up the best thing you never wanted. 020419 ... Dafremen Smile sunshine. Ingrates are a dime-a-dozen. You're one-in-five-thousand-twenty-three-point-five. : ) 020419 ... mahayana now ... if only... they'll have me 020419 ... Sailor Jupiter i_have_words They flow through me like the blood in my body Blue and warm I keep them on the inside But sometimes, like when the hammer hits, they spray out Pouring into my secret notebooks or dripping across a computer screen But when they do come out, I like to remain anonymus I hide them like my scars But desire them like my dreams 020419 ... jessica i once wrote something about having words because the boy i was with doesn't hear my words. why, i wonder, did i need his validation? unfortunate. i love all of you unless you are mean. 020514 ... girl_jane You have them too. We can share them. 020528 ... Soulbird lol some of u guys crack me up.. chrity for your posting go to: i have words. thought it was some big woohooo thingy just found u doing your little bible thumping thingy here.. but hey that's cool but save it for sunday service.There are many paths to god let people find there own..Silent bob licking gods anus?? LMAO.. so whats up? is that a fraud or it it your other ego? LOLanyways dont have specific words for ya's just a few comments to all u funny folk out there..some of u guys are a real hoot.. and crack me up!! == always had a sick sorta humour anyways but... 020611 ... Soulbird LOL!!!!! some of u guys crack me up.. chrity for your posting go to: i have words. thought it was some big woohooo thingy just found u doing your little bible thumping thingy here.. but hey that's cool but save it for sunday service.There are many paths to god let people find there own..Silent bob licking gods anus?? LMAO.. so whats up? is that a fraud or it it your other ego? LOLanyways dont have specific words for ya's just a few comments to all u funny folk out there..some of u guys are a real hoot.. and crack me up!! == always had a sick sorta humour anyways but... 020611 ... passion Dear Translucent, It is ok to turn off and go to sleep, I will never look at that negatively. I will always enjoy sleeping, the energy of dark slience and sometimes even dream, until the morning touches you all over. 020611 ... screwing for virginity I'd be Christian, if it wasn't for Christians "The last Christian died on the cross." Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche i agree with both statements whole hartedly 020623 ... eddiehasamindofhisown do not believe in organized religion 020815 ... Mahayana [please chain 'em] 020815 ... jane the_biggest_blather_controversy_ever 020817 ... josie "I have one thing to say to you josie, just ask yourself this question.. who's laughing at who here?" "why would i ask myself a stupid question like that? i'm not the one who thinks their life is just a fucking joke!" Slammed! 020817 ... Scott I don't want to say anything. 020917 ... filzkugel i have words, but it is now my own. Who said that?? 021012 ... megan i have so many words! i can't hold them in... sometimes people tell me i have too many 021214 ... littleidiot feels like its ALL i've got. 021214 ... SImply James I have words What do i believe? I believe in God.... how do i live, live the way you want, but when you see a Person, look past the clothes, the skin the flesh... deep down into the essence of the being and look out onto the world... much like you are now doing. This person is alive he or she is thinking of love loss and a hundred million other things, they live just as you live. So what does this mean, it means this isnt just your life, your living that persons life to... so show some decency.... before when i was young... maybe 6 i was looking out the car window at some people and at that one moment my views on life changed. I had once thought that this was my life and all of these moving and talking objects were characters and obstacles in my life, the only centient being in existance......and at that one point i looked into a mans eyes, he was smiling. What was he happy about, why was he smiling? Was he happy, was he hurt, the deepness in what he might have or mightnot have been thinking opened by mind to a new view...... treat people as thought you are treating yourself, this isnt just your life....Is God real? id like to think so, if you dont then thats really your problem, maybe one day you will see things as clearly as i do, maybe not. But im not here to force beliefs on anyone.... im here to live.... do whatever i want.... be a good person... and just enjoy existance In a nutshell Be happy Let others live And dont be a problem because when its all over, maybe just maybe you will be standing infront of a power far greater thenyourself.... and if not then be nice just in spite... its 1:30 in the morning 021218 ... Chilly D NEVER!!!! has anyone been called to change his or her rational way of thinking just because the belief is based on facts. Put THAT in your pipe and smoke it... heh. Seriously .. this will never be resolved. You believe what you want to believe. Nothing is being forced.. peoples' truths are just different, and it doesn't really help to go around throwing insults at them because of it. I went to the blather page for love ... you can't see love but I seemed to notice that it's very believable. Why? It's the feeling you recieve ... it's a hope. Why do you degrade people's hope? If it really benefits them, you don't, because you know, that's exactly what you're looking for too... and that's exactly what everyone's looking for. So don't do that. It's called respect, and maybe some people don't really give a shit about it... but hey, they probably don't give a shit about anything at that. That's fine with me. "Nick, why are you such a prick? Why can't you just marvel in the hopes that make up this reality? Your world is what you made it" 030110 ... ferret i was worried today. i sent a friend who cuts an email. than you chrity for posting that. it helped her i think. she at least was glad that i cared. i for one thank chrity alot for posting that everywhere. if she hadn't my friend might be dead now. yeah. that's all i have to say. 030124 ... spike if we have free will, then what's the point of a god except to make you feel warm and fuzzy inside? 030129 ... phil damnit spike, that's a good point. 030129 ... spike that doesn't answer my question. what does he DO? how can he have control over anything? except maybe wether we go to heavan or hell. in which case, who cares? what's the point of some one who just sits around being mighty and handing out eternal damnation? 030130 ... phil god reminds us of the way we once were. 030130 ... cube It is how you use your free will that determines whether you end up in 'heaven' or 'hell' - or somewhere in between. Think of a warm cozy fire on a bitterly cold night. We all want to be near the fire - laughing amongst friends and family. Hell is, in such a scenario, to be held distant, cold and unsheltered - knowing that if we had but made the right decisions in our brief foray, we too would have been welcomed home. As to God reminding us of the way we once were, God is what we may become. And why not? There is much available real estate out there amongst the stars... ³ 030131 ... spike dude, my question is not what is heavan and hell. i was raised a christian, i know all that. what does god do, is my question, if we have free will. 030131 ... cube I've thought about your question for a bit. First, it's really two issues, 1) what does God do and 2) free will. I think we've covered free will. As to what does does God do, I think you can answer that yourself by asking, "What does the CEO of a Fortune 500 corporation do for the organization"? If you can answer that, then we're on to the next topic... ³ 030201 ... x sleeps and collects the benefits? 030201 ... spike i think you are wrong. shouldn't god be the entire corporation? 030220 ... qazual i have words.. to explain a belief is to limit it. belief is infinite, like God. how do i know? i dont know, its what i believe. to rationalize belief is like fighting wind. faith is as vast and as perpetual as the wind. in every man God has planted a seed of faith, a seed of deific. so what does God do? God doesnt 'do' God 'is' ..but thats what I believe 030403 ... zaxary i have no god. 030406 ... User24 I have far too many words. 030406 ... Grace i_have_words By: GraceandGlory ©2003 i_have_words.. Words about belonging Words about rejection Words about words. And protection. (Word detection.) I have words - all my words I'll say, words to sell- Words to pray. -Open mouth words slipped away "Who did my words hurt today?" ---------- Words for you and words for me What makes you think those words come free? Words are all a little slice of poured out Everlasting Grace-on your face. Upon your being- To talk on what you're seeing.. ----------- I understand you don't know me But why attacks in all you see? Perhaps you do not understand how words can kill the spirit man How words can linger past ones tears And wound or heal a heart for years. Or one that cheers.. To dump our words like damned and blight Is not so worthy in His sight I know that life is hard for you But why to knock a soul so true? What courage? Conscience? motley crue.. Don’t you get it? (sighs) fine.. Don’t sweat it. ---------------------------- i_have_words Words like patience, kind. Instrumental to the blind, As hard to find. God is no Eternal threat - Except for those on Him, forget. He’s simply watching as you bet On talking words, as time goes by- And you watch your tomorrows fly. So do I. But, He’s my guy. I am saved. And He is fly. I find words are healing though. They drain the pain and Ease the woe They help me tell you how I know Of words And God And speaking low. Don’t laugh at me, you do not know about my life Or how I go. i_have_words ---------------------------------------------- Words for why the speaking eye And frightened mind word salad lies. Or just shy guys. God cries. I have words ----------------- He is real the one you torment words you feel I know it’s angry been undone and all the all unhappy one. Yes, He’s the Son. I was you but being me. So kind of like you all I'd see. But that was then and this is now You would not mock a sacred cow. Christy is a girl, I see. I spot her, she is family. Not bad to me. She’s the one for favor flight will cry to God and be a light. Despite the awe ensuing Night. And on n on. They talk. Not right. . Not right..So.. i_have_words All my words can’t say. Not today.. Anyway.. (They frighten some ) Words to sell- Words to pray. -Open mouth words slipped away "Who did my words hurt today?" Words for you and words for me What makes you think those words come free? A silenced mouth upon a tree. Your basic God-man’s Agony . So stained with blood so Holy-i-ly Made words a thing that you can be. Yes, He made you and He made me. So we can talk and talk on words. And fancy mags ‘bout clubs or birds. I remember Words –gone-by. Word sandwiches from Junior High. All spread with lie. But words are free and yet not so. Russian proverbs say it Bro. Don't-chya know? We are not punished for our words- But lately talking God’s absurd. Speaking Christ an all out thing to make you fly and quick take wing Won’t let us sing.. So sing your songs sweet child of God- Made up of words Don’t think it odd Its simply all a gift He gave Before He rose up from the grave.. The world to save. I’m no word slave. -------------------------------------- I have words - all my words I'll say, Sometime on and on the way. Words to sell- Words to pray. -Open mouth words slipped away "Who did my words hurt today?" Words for you and words for me What makes you think those words come free? They come around And ‘round. Like He. Busy building word-age-y We forget words we don’t see. They whisper on us spiritually. On the lips of unseen be. Forgiveness. Love. That’s God, It's He But to be like Him ‘ventually. The similar connection, in all the souls dissention- Won’t heed correction Nor conviction Of regrets And apprehension. Worse words here, cannot mention He loves you. Quit the tension Talk tolerance Just an extension. Of subjection.. Talk tolerance. Talk Love. All is grasping ‘til from above. And then, we speak. They give a shove. They say our words. Are droning of. Things they do not wish to hear. Or things their parents do not care. Or things That maybe just hit hard. But they can talk. And talk. And squawk. And tongues that churn a pound of lard. By the yard. And all because we love God. Odd. i_have_words.. Words about belonging Words about rejection Words about words. And protection. (Word detection.) I have words - all my words I'll say, words to sell- Words to pray. -Open mouth words slipped away "Who did my words hurt today?" Who did my words heal today? Move today? Soothe today? Scare today? Fear today? There today? Or have you gone away? Because of Words I say.. Yes i_have_words More than you can know, or I can show.. But MY how life can make it hard to go On.. ‘bout words They curse.. They blow.. And injure parties.. On they flow.. I have words - all my words I'll say, words to sell- Words to pray. -Open mouth words slipped away "Who did my words hurt today?" Words for you and words for me What makes you think those words come free? ---------------- “And the Word became flesh and dwelt amongst us..” http://www.desiringgod.org/library/sermons/01/122301.html We love you family. 030429 ... macintosh sorry to interrupt the uh, "flow" of things, but i must comment that that entry that started this topic by jennifer was truly beautiful. in so many words i wish i could say the same. at that point, nothing else need be said. 030429 ... Grace was that the name of who my poem was about? Jennifer..Christy..? (not exactly..but..) i only know it was a Christian who's sharing i saw slaughtered,or attempts.. and about my Lord.. and about words.. but,anyway.. it's finished:) 030429 ... scorsh here i am 030528 ... god words are for turds 030528 ... counterentity i have words. so many i wish i could say to you. to move you. to touch you. so near yet so far. will this last? will we last? words i wish i could say to you. words which belong to one more courageous than i. 030529 ... drunkeemonkee words i have..ways to express them, i lack 030602 ... User24 computers can replace people, trust me, I know. 030617 ... apostrophe but just because i have words doesn't mean i feel the need to string them together in a sensible fashion eep opp ork ah-ah. Telecommuting rules! Seriously. I can get baked, do my job and watch the Jetsons at the same time and no-one can tell me not to 'cause i'm in my own living room. nyeah-nyeah-nyeah, boo-boo-boo. holy christ, i'm a twit. 030617 ... ? I have been told 302 times, to "go to: i_have_words" so I'm going to wait here until someone can explain exactly why the fuck I should go here?? Is chrity kx21? 030622 ... endless desire there are so many words here that no one would hear me even if i did say something. i_don't_have_words. 030622 ... oldephebe what chrity was trying to convey with i think she did admirably was that indefinable quality of a relationship with God - i have posted a few dark things here but i believe in the God chrity speaks of the Jesus that hung on the cross and took a symbol of torture and turned it into a symbol of well i'm not catholic so i'll just say something sacred - umm the thing about this diurnal transcendant quality of a relationship with the Divine i know its unthinkable in all our Reason and arrogance and chains of logic - but when you are in that dark place in tyrannys' cage - when life or this abscense of life in you has throttled you to the floor and every breath aches every plank in Reasons floor isn't enough to hold the life in you or to restore you ... umm it's whats called the mystery of the Gospel - i'm not trying to prosyletize or preach or teach - but ot is this transcendant all encompassing compassion that enables me perceive a possibility - to break out of that sarcophagus of the sad - there is a website or a person who can explain it way better than me - if your interested check out lovinggrace.org - they've got audio clips and this guy Rev Wane Monbleau (Let's Talk About Jesus Radio Show) he really breaks it down in a non-dogmatic manner - sometimes at least for me i get tired of filling myself up with my own thoughts - sometimes i fill myself up with the things Christ has said about me about this world - His words (and i hope i don't sound like a fanatic or anything but when i come to the end of myself that's what enable me to be able to be filled with His thoughts that's when i can see His tender Loving Gentle eyes reflecting a true picture of myself back to me - we are inextricably diurnal beings - sure -i really respect what chrity wrote - it took a lot of courage and empathy for her to share it - having a faith doesn't exculpate you from feeling searing my god get me the **** out of here pain ok? but having a faith calls you back to life to your life to a better life - chritys got some great things to share and also if your interested check out lovinggrace.org - i'm not going to get involved in some protracted and pointless debate that's not my style - and i'll probably never explicitly post anything else here of an overtly religious nature but a faith is so beyond what we think of narrwoly as the codification and ritual expectations and impositions of religion - faith, a relationship is something alive and protean and well i said i'd sign off so we are all such sacred singularities of sentience - all of us - and we each have somthing worth saving worth treasuring - 030706 ... ItGirl I had words... but I didn't say any of them. I could have said no and you would have gone. I could have said I love you and you would have gone. So the only way to keep you was to be silent. I gave away my words. I said nothing. So I will leave them here... "Yes, I love you..." 030706 ... phil I found god once. Then he gave me a banana. After a while I threw away the peel. Was I looking for a trash can? No one can say for sure, it's just an unexplainable mystery. I ate the banana, it did what all good food does. That banana is now in heaven because god forgave all the sins of that banana. That banana, was Hitler's pet dog in a former life. Well not the whole dog of course, just the left front thigh bone, the one he used to hail hitler with. I don't know if that means the dog is in heaven, it might just mean the dog has one less sin to get rid of. That could mean more bananas. If god ever gives you a banana, don't throw it away mindlessly. See if you can feed it to a cow, they are like that you know, cows, that thing. 030706 ... oldephebe mmmm that's clever and yet strangley sincere ... (mimicking old Carnac impersonation) take your words out of me! she said cyrillic symbols jackhammering into my inflamed temporal lobes - make it stop oh here's a few words - Stay sway from flamboyantly jealous women. 030707 ... birdmad i have words but they are as futile as any of my actions 030708 ... oldephebe phor fil for phil phor fil for phil was that like an inelegant attempt to finesse a perceived deconstructionist response to the really sincere things people had to say here? like if some one wrote earnestly about their pet golden retriever dying and then the next player posts something like - The golden retriever lay bloated on the afghan carpet, bloated from the baachanalian flame that leapt from the grapes, he ate so many and then i went to a funeral for a chicken, so many squacking - and the Baachanalian flame leapt from the grape that hung pendulously from the vine but Peter's dog ate it and.... we're all writing (our) truth in the margins and it would be absurd if i thought this feverishly scrawled avowal (or any of my feverishly scrawled avowals)constituted some deep and unknowable thing but take a moment and try to be more than what you are open the aperture just a little 030708 ... Denna Yeah, I have words. I use them just like I'm supposed to. It's funny - describe how. I'm happy - tell why. It hurts - write just how much. I write and write and write it all out. Helps me find what life's all about. 030723 ... DannyH Don't give them any more words. They're using them to make a bomb. 030724 ... The Wolfs Path why won't you listen? 030724 ... . . 030725 ... Cathexis I have words in my pocket. They're mexican jumping beans ready to spring up to my mouth. And when you don't listen, they fall silently, without tears, without sighs of trickling unhappiness that will eat away at my heart. Turn your back; close your ears; close your mind; leave me here. I have words. And they're not eager to jump to you. They're staying in my pocket, in my mind. Where I can smile at them. And appreciate them. All. By. Myself. 030731 ... poiuytrewq this is definatly a contender for the longest_blath_ever. 030731 ... immortal sometimes don't have any words at all. 030801 ... jezabel words are pouring forth now, gushing like musky sex, throwing themselves at a twining of need, hope, and future... words are what i want to steal from you, i want a slice of your voice in my ear, no more, no less, i want it planted in the most sacred of secret places. words move me, twin geysers thrusting me towards an uncertain tomorrow. words inspire me, turn paled reds into throbbing scarlet as it once was. i need to ignite the scarlet to keep myself Alive. i need your voice dripping across my lips. if i fail, well, failures have and will be, and other paths taken, but the scent of that one detail is dizzying, driving me wildly into the arms of a near stranger. such simple, seductive cadences. dripping and writhng brutality and sensualism, all wrapped up into a language that holds no icons for me. speak to me in the tongue of babylon, and i will be your jezabel. 030815 ... cobbler the squirrel aka franklin Hi, Im a Doug. I've never really had much to say. I like to change, everyday. I like to see life from the point of view of an older person than I, or a younger or an animal being or the other stuff, like a street lamp. But that was yesterday. Today I'm back to the thoughts of Doug. I like to get up earlier in the morning than I did. I like to disrupt the routines of my life, use death as an advisor, erase my personal history, lose my self-importance, and other things. I recommend reading don Juan books by Carlos Castaneda and books on buddism to get a grasp of their philosophy. I find my personality changing for my better every day from what I do in life. One fun thing I learned today is to read the hehe's and lol's in you chatting blather out loud because its fun. 031002 ... cobb buddhism 031002 ... i have nothing to say spelling police 031010 ... phil to oldephebe no 031011 ... Scratch the wooden nickel why? 031011 ... phil I am not still eating the peel just because God gave it to me. Isn't it all about finding a cow? 031011 ... phil to oldephebe I think what you wrote about the dog made sense, but doesn't opening the aperture make things go OUT of focus? 031011 ... oE well.. what I was trying to convey was opening the eye a little wider..to injest a wider breadth or scope of objective reality..but ah i haven't used a telescope in quite some time..thanks for the clarification.. 031011 ... a girl with nothing to say i wish i had words but im just a girl with nothing to say 031017 ... chiken ummm...ok 031101 ... gina toO luis i hate the way you look at mi the way you comb your hair i hate it when you dont talk to mi i hate it when you stare i hate when you dont bother too call mi but most of all i hate when your not their to hug mi when im sad to kiss mi when im amted but really i dont hate you not a little not at all the truth is that i love with all my heart not a little but out of all!!! 031101 ... daf see also: mithras 031114 ... oblivionmachine i have words for this, somewhere. 031127 ... Nukemall YOU WITH THE WORDS....HAND THEM OVER NOW...OR THE NUN GETS IT. 031127 ... thespacebetween i was afraid. the wind blew through the long arms of the willow tree i felt so afraid. and why? somewhere in the distance soft hands tickled ivories and music flowed through my veins all around me, a circle of smiling faces matching robes shaved heads so similar... but were we really all the same? i was so scared there was (is) so much to live for and why? a cooler of punch sat in the grass nearby we held hands, me and my friends. so perfect, so fake and the music played on to the glistening of teeth The smiles it hurt so much to smile... what was i doing? what had i already done? i wanted to save them but i had nothing, i was the same... smiling through quivering lips eyes wide open taking in the world, so afraid to lose it i was so afraid. they were so happy and why/ why couldnt i be happy? even there. with love all around me, so fake i couldnt believe The smiles, the glossy eyes so eager to let go the broken hearts so tired of fighting the people they had such a purpose they were so sure and i was so scared with shaking hands i picked up my little paper cup they told me they loved me my mind said run i sat cross legged right over left just like them i barely heard our leaders words.. his voice was lost in the music playing so loud now the classical symphony blasting from my cars stereo parked down the hill so close yet so far away I didnt breath didnt blink i half heard his words the music pulsed through me the willow tree swayed... so peaceful they knew they were right and why? why didnt i? i was too scared and with a nod the cups were filled one by one with the slightly chilled punch it seemed so wrong what was i doing? what had i already done? flitting images of my past... a pair of strong hands letting me go and then... nothing... quiet... the calm before a storm 19 pairs of hands drew paper cups to their lips 19 throats gulped down their destruction 19 heart stopped suddenly all in the middle of a quiet field on a sloping hilltop in november all to the sound of theme and variations by corelli and rachmanivov all but mine. i dropped the cup grasping at air i staggared forward, scattered friends eyes closed happy faces and the smiles... they were better off and so was i i was safe and ill never be scared again i like that dot thing 031130 ... oldephebe beware of the charlatans entreaty.. bearing the branch.. blossoming with friendship look for the slender shade of a lie snickering at the edges beware the insidious gradient of incremental excavations beware the really inspired projection of integrity sniff out the moral dissonance seeping out of its pores divest yourself of its ensnarement quickly beware those pockets of white, socketless souless empty light calling unto our greed beware the extravegant tongue constricted in the misdirection of flattery beware of what seems plausible and reasonable, what seems to constitute a plausible pretext every thing is a dance the writhing serpent in the sacerdotal robe.. learn to listen closely for the music of deceit shear it from the mellifluous whole note of integrity a corruption of code a degradation of intonation right at the lowest, softest edge of wave amplitude whole note sullied with eighth note fractal incursions of flats and sharps muddying the soup you'll see, you'll hear It if you listen for it.. the rank squalor of deceit the legerdemain of virtuosic lies a serpentine swath of subtley dissonant and disorienting half-truths and whole lies cut the cord swiftly and spare yourself the cost ... 031130 ... endless desire i believe in God ive wondered for as long as i can remember if i still would believe in God if i hadn't grown up that way. but i guess i'll never know. i guess i just use some twisted logic my mom told me when i asked her what happens if we were wrong. if there was no God at all. we were just alone here. she told me, "well then at least i lived a life full of hope." and it's simple and easily contradicted. but God gives me hope and the thought of his existance brings me peace i could be praying to no one, i suppose, but at least i thought someone was listening. ignorance_is_bliss. there is no way to prove it either way so i mine as well choose the path that completes me. i know life shouldn't be so self centered, but to ME it makes sense that there is a god. and that he deserves my full attention. i don't impose my beliefs upon other people (and certainly not blather) because they are simply MY beliefs. why would i want to tell anyone what to believe? so i guess i respect those skites who get in long religious debates and conversations, but i think it only pushes people further away and creates unncessary conflict. the christian bible thumpers are just as bad as the anti religion. they are all just rambling and trying to convince one another that they are right. i really doubt you are going to change someones life by arguing with them. but have fun. 031130 ... reckless poet wow wow. how can i see this topic and not write anything? thinkin of the day that i was saved in a heap, crying on the floor bowing at His throne feeling heaven on my fingertips honey on my lips songs of angels carressing my ears i was a dirty animal unworthy by far but then, i felt a touch a touch of lightening striking my body passing through me causing me to shine like the sun shining with white from snowy mountains i turn to look upon this source the brightness tears away at my eyes i make out a figure fear sweeps my pores don't be afraid he syas i realize whom it is JESUS! he's here! he's real! he cleansed me and made me beautiful i am no longer a thorn but a rose with red petals with a sweet sugar smell 031219 ... reckless poet i clutch this day in high regards saw a glimpse of the Lord's plan it is truly beautiful how he works He squeezes miracles into my life Showers me with bubbley joy at first i thought things were falling apart, it was really everything coming into place He blessed me with this amazing day meeting a kind spirit conversing with a saved soul his purpose his beautiful plan molds me into who i am 031219 ... oldephebe that was beautiful reckless poet..really The Lord's likeness shines upon and in you and out of you...peace 031220 ... r1y9a6n4 i have words waiting to explode like the apple dessert of a tv dinner boiling under its celophane. sometimes i just wonder if the power was set high enough to make them burst. 031220 ... cheetah wow. dramatic 031224 ... cheetah wow. dramatic 031224 ... sc i have words that i can throw at you and theyll explode in your face and leave you looking like a fucked up golliwog with blown up lips. i have words thatll cool your war wounds but i wont use them for they are far too precious. 040103 ... april n i have, and i am words. 040128 ... misstree "don't make me a poet," i pleaded, and he whispered to me through it, he dropped things that drunks shouldn't be allowed to play with, blades in my feet aching and "don't make me a poet," i hoped, i strangled off every little thing i could find so the infection wouldn't spread and "don't make me a poet," i commanded but it was too late, he had found the trap door and i doubt he even remembers, but now i'm fucked, i_have_words and all i can do is hope they fade and leave me in peace. 040129 ... kaibutsu I have words. I collect them in a little box that I keep under my bed. One day I hope to have enough to build something interesting, like a book or possibly a world-destryoing super-cyborg. It may be a while, though, before I come that far. So in the meantime, I collect the words, the ones I find in the street or in the corners that no one bothers to poke around in, and keep them in my box, occasionally taking them out for dusting and contemplation, then returning them to their place beneath my bed a while longer. 040311 ... tonya the words i say are nothing but gray i lay and cut but i love to bleed greed as takingover me cant u see what my childhoood as done to me just leave me be u already did eneogh to me . 040319 ... emily Reality exists in a place unkown, and dreams exist within reality. And truth lies in our hearts. The contents of a person's heart shapes their appearance. Therefore new images will change their hearts and their forms. The power of imagination is the ability to create our own future, and our own flow of time. But if people don't act of their own freewill, then nothing will change at all. So we must regain our own lost form by our own volition. Even if it means our words become lost... or confused with the words of others. Anyone can retain human form... as long as they are able to imagine themselves within their own heart. 040429 ... 666 666 040506 ... mood ring they just refuse to leave my head in the way that i thought them up. sure they suck out in the open air, but they sounded great in the confines of my mind... 040603 ... zxc i lost my words. 040607 ... zxc i lost my words. 040607 ... zxc oops i guess i lost them twice. 040607 ... average joe I don't have words none seriously no words. and the people that do have words can overdo them. Those certain people that just so happen to talk too much. I don't think they can help it. They just talk too much, WAY too much. They just type and type and type until their fingers get tired and they dont have any energy left in them. they can't help it, they're born that way. I'm so glad I'm not one of those people. You know, those people that talk too much? Yeah. It's definetely a good thing. to not be... one of them. You know? No you dont, you're probably one of those kinds of people. The kinds who talk too much. They very often repeat what they said before. And they just plain talk too much So that's why I don't have words 040607 ... your happy blather editor removing redundancies gives your writing more impact. Say it once, and move on. 040608 ... dosquatch Also not repreating yourself helps. Sometimes even if you don't say the same thing over and over. And if you reiterate the same idea a lot, it tends to take away from what you're saying. 040608 ... metaphysical metamucil i_have_turds 040608 ... ratfucker george "stymie" klein iv frozen_turd! 040608 ... your happy blather editor I was going to say it once, but I figured he didn't know the word "redundancies", and was probably too lazy to look it up. Is it worth it to try to educate the willfully ignorant? 040608 ... Bean whenever i pull my heart out of my pockey to show to strangers they spit on it and keep walking past. 040622 ... cpgurrlisanatheist. u know, Chrity, i think that ur religion is just another way 2 be predjudiced (i spelled that wrong) against other people. 4 instance, the thing about only the christians can go 2 heaven is just a way to make people feel that wut their doing is right and it's OTHER PEOPLE that r wrong, not US because WE r the good ones, and all the other people who aren't like us r WRONG!!!! i mean, i can see that the original purpose of god was 2 explain things, but now that we have science and everything and know why things really happen and don't have 2 guess, there is no need for the reasons of why god did this when we really know it has to do w/ science. (also, while ur story is very touching, do we have 2 be loved by someone PERFECT to make our life on eath worthwhil3e? 4 me, just knowing that other people love me and care 4 me is enough. it seems as if god had everything to do w/ it, and that if god was left out, it would have still happened the same way or the thing might have been prevented altogether. bc god was the 1 that made the girl feel she was useless in the first place. 040720 ... dudeinanigloo Guess what? Chrity IS still here! Go to: i_have_a_confession_to_make (the post doesn't have a name beside it) 040720 ... dehypnotized toothpaste blue, all my past and future. words come in the form of cliches, from the center of my heart,filling in the gaps like the tetris playing meth addict with a sick mother... sincerity is something i can live with or without.... i type it and press "click!" 040720 ... just a guy I think people need to stop focusing purely on not sinning. Sinning is a guideline. No, you should not sin. And i you do, you will feel guilty about it. And if you never sin you will be one happy person. I think and truley believe that God wants us to have a happy life. And if we die with a few ins in our heart, but overall and exceptionally happy person, I think he would be happier with that perosn than the one who was generally unhappy but never sinned at all. Come on, enjoy life. Be happy. enjoy to the fullest extent what God has given us. Life. Don't spend your life asking for forgiveness. Do something about it. 040902 ... direwolf ( \ / ) \ \ / / \ \ / / \ /´¯ I ¯`\/ / / I I (¯ `\/ I I I \ \ I I´¯ I´¯ I\ \ \ ` ¯ ¯ ´ • \__________.•´ SATAN 040917 ... pete lapse into a second chosen and bundled lost and wandering into the hollow halls of your dear sophistry 040918 ... Frank i have words yes just like everyone else why doesnt anyone just ask what the problem is? its so simple its almost hard i dont understand why people are the way they are just soo....i had words why cant i say the things i need to say without the feat of being critisized or belittled i wish i could just come out and say it that I LOVE YOU KRISTIN.....forever and always 041013 ... tomaz i just get furious. why do some people come to write when all their words are nothing but meaningless not even drivel but crap. who the fuck has words if they are using them all here? you should get a forum for your head which isnt for the public to review but for your own piece of mind, some things arent for public display. 041114 ... cactus patty I have words to say to you--are you ready to listen? Or are you going to pretend that everything is fine, nothing is wrong between us? That's what I thought. Call me when you pull your head out of your ass. 041115 ... rage so many yet so phew so rong yet so troo all just me trying to c ewe b ewe free ewe stay me stay free sway thru triyng to discuver the truth interprite the truth cree ate the truth questein the truth sort out the truth and stay tru to me be free happy? 041127 ... not anymore you dont 041129 ... fix 041129 ... falling_alone existance_is_only_a_state_of_mind do_you_exist? no shut up i_have_words but no one wants to read them. 050331 ... carina jennifer get a LIFE!!!!!!!!!!! 050423 ... tyler durden i have words for you my friends that would make anyone blush. words that could hold a forest from falling. you know these words that hold my teeth in and my shoes on. i eat them i sleep with them i talk with them and i dance with them. They explain me. what happened to using the my friends cool is not a word. 050914 ... Dolly Rocker AHHH GOD SQUAD! CRUCIFIX CRONIES! BIBLE BUDDIES! *fear!* .... *runs away* 051008 ... Tirade Tirades_of_blather 060119 ... Chrity I haven't been to this site in years... I never meant to upset anyone. I remember the pain that was life back then - this life is painful. Since then, I have experienced many more painful things. My family was shattered when my grandma passed away, and everyone fought about her money. My Dad was murdered. The people responsible for his death were set free by a judge and jury, who said that they couldn't prove which one of the two was REALLY responsible, and the "system" failed (not that it hasn't always been a failure to some degree since it began). This life will always be painful - what is there that makes sense out of all the pain? Why continue living, if there is no purpose for the pain? Pain comes from other peoples' bad/wrong choices and decisions... (whether it is "bad" or "wrong"; "permissible", "obligatory", or "prohibited"... I suppose that depends upon which philosophical school of thought you ascribe to. I think they all mean the same thing, when you get right to it.) Free-Will is like that. But without it, we wouldn't have love, because love can't be love unless one can choose not to love. It is a hideously beautiful thing. 070308 ... Chrity I've changed a lot since then... but I have received emails from people who are living in that pain. I hope that what I wrote then has helped someone, somewhere, to crawl out of that screaming darkness... and I have reason to believe that it has. You need to know that somebody, somewhere, needs YOU. STOP THE PAIN STOP CUTTING YOURSELF - YOU KNOW IT DOESN'T MAKE ANYTHING ANY BETTER ANYHOW. 070308 ... Chrity go to: hideously_beautiful (just to keep with previous form) 070308 ... . . 070722 ... backflip excuse me, please may i have one of your lolly pops? excuse me, please may i be a spy? they won't catch me pwomise. which ones which ? shiiiiittttt..... he raps and acts does he ! tell that to Dennis' partner in crime. Botty, she can't act either, she can sing tho, is that why you hook up in the bath ? shhhhiiiiitttt, theres ganja everywhere. Chatty Chatty Bang Bang. talk the talk walk the walk and the rest of it. come on empty ya pockets. and if you go to a Drum and Bass night, don't wear stupid high heals and a little dress, you have to act an attitude dance, you can't pretend to be pretty, pretty boy. 070723 ... Not Infected the hate that used to fill me goes elswyre i love the thoughts. letters numbers ideas. i used to be so angry. of course my old self would just tell me to fuck off and then ignore me. 070815 ... CONTENT someone stole 2 wallets, one of my favorite jumpers and my i-pod what is up with some people, i can't go anywhere without my i-pod, why doesn't apple just give everyone an i-pod that way no one would need to steal them, the funding for that would first come from the governments crime budget. i just now wish someone would steal both my computers and all my belongings, i only need a change of clothes, toothpaste, toothbrush and a bar of soap. Rob me of everything - i don't care, you will never steal the sky from me, thank god it doesn't belong to any CUnTtRee. 070815 ... fuffle i think the answer to peoples problems is to face them, not to perpetuate them, rather accept them than struggle with them, if you struggle with them it produces an inner battle which can also cause guilt which is also adding to a negative cycle. Although i find it difficult this human created world, simply because the structure of it causes the conflict. Someone special once said to me "i love my shit" it is a positive way to avoid an inner battle which only makes it worse. Tell everyone what your deepest darkest secret is then, you will be suprised how theraputic it is. It just seems to me that the system that makes up the civilised world produces deeper routed personal probelms for people, such things like stress, social acceptance, attitude, time tail chasing, eye wool etc. what to do? go back to bed maybe! I can't do anything now apart from find refuge in a quiet place, it's avoiding reality i know, but theres only so much some people can take. but i wasn't allowed to get a train with a boy to a mountain Zen retreat because the Indian society will view me as a whore for going with a boy (a friend). I didn't understand that. you wonder why i cry so much, well now you know. 070815 ... Dragonflye They live in my skin, packed tightly, just beneath the surface, waiting to explode. I want to talk to you, all of you. I want to set the words free, so they can stop poisoning me, so that I might break out of this anonymity. I want to tell you everything. My history, my thoughts, my secrets, my self. I want you all to know WHO I AM. ...but the words are trapped. I've let them build up for too long now. I can no longer let them out in a trickle, a few at a time--as soon as I open my mouth, I know, they will all come pouring out in a blinding flood of language, of humanity. And I can't let it happen. Oh God, I want to, but I can't. How can anyone recover from that? How can anyone forget having seen someone else's soul naked before them? How could anyone ever look at me again? So I swallow my silence and feel myself disappearing. 080220 ... Lemon_Soda Don't disappear. Create the blather the_dragon_flies and type one blathe. When you type this blathe keep typing until you physically can't. Then come back and do it again later. Rinse wash repeat. I promise nothing. 080220 ... minnesota_chris I think I disappeared a long time ago. Perhaps I never even existed. 080221 ... LEMON SODA RESPONDING CHECK 081110 ... thes Chrity. I know you. I know that story. I met you in high school. I fell in love with you you fell in love with me. After a few weeks of happiness you called me and told me that we couldn't be together because you needed a to be with someone who knew god. I wrote you a letter, begging for a chance, saying that I would try, begging you to wait for me to understand. I went to church with you for months trying against hope to force my intellect around those ideas, ideals. One day I got it. The preacher said something that made it make perfect sense, I understood everything. I broke down and cried. people gathered around and welcomed me to the new life welcomed me to the family. I felt so happy, so good. We were together. Several years later, my intellect rumbled. "Do you really believe this?" It asked me, "or did you just do it for her" I didn't know. It didn't matter. The question was enough. You noticed my reservations as I started falling away from things. I stopped doing what I had been doing, grew resentful towards you for dragging me into this situation. I knew it was true. I KNEW it. but now I know that it's not. How can both of those be correct? Did I lie to myself? Do I love you that much that I would abandon my entire set of beliefs and worldview just to be with you? Yes. I did. I lied to you, lied to myself, lied to everyone. I told you. Came clean. It was a predicament. I couldn't ask you for help to find my way back. How would I know that I wasn't lieing again? So here I am. I want it. I want it all back. I want to be able to know, to feel that it's true, but my intellect won't allow it. I know that if I do it it will be for you. You even said that you won't ever take me back, but I know that was to assay any doubts I would have about my integrity. At this point it's not even for you that I want it back. I want to feel that happiness again. The sense of belonging. I want all those people to gather around me again and welcome me to the family. I want to feel the god that I felt again. To all of you who say that it's a joke, that god is a lie to help weak people get through life: I am weak people, and I wish that I could have it back. It was beautiful. 081231 ... jane wowza. 081231 ... In_Bloom Even without sound I form them with my lips and see them float before me just a brief time before the sun burns holes through them Anymore my words are a wasted exercise, an exorcism of feelings or thoughts of what once was or could have been So much forgotten nothingness to anyone else So much a burden I probably shouldn't share them anymore to an actual face I don't like to imagine what the laughter is like but some days I can't think of anything else I have words I'd rather swallow if they didn't choke me so 090101 ... Lemon_Soda You torture yourself. 090102 ... the logical lover recognizes the beauty of love realizes that the world around us is nothing but order, which we will never be able to understand as anything but Chaos. Sees God, sees a hypothesis about the order of things. Hypotheses can be wrong. Love. I don't care how. I don't care why. Just love. But the devil's in the details (pardon the turn of phrase). How do we go about fulfilling love? How do we protect it from that which would destroy it? Reason. Logic. Cold, calculating, cruel, terrible, terrifying logic. And that's when things get complicated. 090109 ... Sapp Jesus was there in the beginning God He made all the words and all the minds to praise or dam Him and all the people here small tiny in their mothers wombs my babies died and I miss Emerald Jesus still saves g'nite dear people don't forget now all Yall are made in His very image He didn't die for nothing bless crit 100915 ... . . 101005 ... ░ ░░░░░░ ░ ░░░░░░ 101005 ... .. ░ ░░░░░░, Listen here you little prick, if you ░ ░░░░░░ again, im_gonna_jump_through_the_monitor_and_choke_you 101016 ... <> . 101016 what's it to you? who go blather from