whale Shar Hobo-Humpin' Slo-bo Babe What a great song. 000325 ... Marjorie You go in slowly You never leave The sharks don't care if you hunt for whales As long as they get to eat 030717 ... ferret the sharks might be hungry, so don't be surprised if you get out of the water and find yourself missing a finger or two 030717 ... phil man 100209 ... shoccolo &wasp 100209 ... Soma children are cruel. That's what I thought. But then we grow out of it and somehow hide that awful part of us. We learn to be maybe not truly better, but kinder. That's what I thought. But adults are cruel too. Her own parents. I guess they never grew up. Maybe that's all it is. Taunting her. Jeering. She walks out of her room to whale noises. She's barely overweight. Maybe by 10 pounds? "Hey Whale. You shouldn't be cold with all that blubber. Why don't you just go die." She's 17. They're almost 60. What's wrong with people? I guess this is the world I live in. Anorexia. Bulimia. Nausea. Fear. I can see the demons almost as easily as I can hear them. I feel sick. I push it away because I can't stand to feel it like I know she does. Wearing her shoes is too painful. Hurt. Betrayal. Doubt. Self-loathing. Apathy. You can only save people who want to be saved. You can't save people from themselves. How do you love someone who believes themselves unlovable? 180417 ... smallhours She is young. She will outlast her tormenters and be a more compassionate person for it. She will help others in pain. All you can do is love her right now, and many times that can be enough. 180418 ... understory If she makes it out.. she has a good chance. Keep being her friend, the smallest sparks can illuminate so much, npw and later when she remembers. My home was similar, so was school. We have more power than we think and people do grow. I feel bruised and a little dysfunctional from some of it, but the perspective it gave me is invaluable. Some of the friends I had then may have saved my life either literally or just saved my mind from insanity. 180419 what's it to you? who go blather from