pain sillyelly why do you cause so much? i thought your promises were real. i thought you were real. i was mistaken. now this is all i have left. 990506 ... stephen a scream, echoed in the darkness by a thousand voices. ...that's life. 990612 ... jordan a every day thing that everyone experiences that can come in any form it wants.....you can't hide from pain it will find you whereever you go.to some it is there happiness causing it or recieving it its all the same to them..........pain is a part of life 990709 ... Nate Higgins My lover who comes in the shadows at night to keep me awake and aware poking old bruises peeling back new layers of skin and drinking my blood to get at the core of self awareness. Know pain: Understand pain: Embrace pain: and you will find pleasure. 991030 ... marjorie sitting in your little club, wallowing, you'll wonder why you are in so much pain. you'll try to figure it out while telling your story over and over and over... until, of course, someone comes along and tells you there's a cylindrical spike in your hand that probably is the cause of your problem. you'l glance at it, feign surprise, and then.... smile because you know you like it, and everyone needs a story. 991203 ... blue dahlila~ "can you make me beautyful?" "a whiping would be easyer" for, "the art of beauty is simply" "vanity playing tricks on you~" http://www.painandgreed.com/dahlila beauty is pain greed thrives on vanity! 991204 ... deb There is a man who's walking down the street. He has a trenchcoat and a large hat on To cover up the marks of his defeat. He'll hide his mangled face 'till you are gone. Here comes a pretty woman down the walk: Her dress is pretty, neat, and modest, still, She tries to hide her pain so they won't gawk, Though what she did was all against her will. You see his scars and cringe at that poor man And you see her but never ask what's wrong. He chose to fight when he just should have ran And she went by herself, not with the throng. Some scars you see and some you just cannot, But which scars are more painful? Give it thought." 991205 ... lion "It doesn't interest me what you do for a living...I want to know if you risk looking like a fool for love... for your dreams for the adventure of being you.. It doesn't interest me to know what planets are square to your moon... I want to know if you have touched the center of your sorrow...if you have been open to life's betrayals, or have become closed and shriveled from fear of further pain...I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it,or fix it... I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own...if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstacy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes..without ccautioning us to be careful, or remembering the limitations of being human... it doesn't interest me to know if the story you're telling is true... I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; If you can hear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore trustworthy... It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have... I want to know if you get up after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children... It doesn't interest me to know who you are or how you came to be here... I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back... It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied... I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in empty moments." -Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Indian Elder 991224 ... quitter I can ignore pain but I dislike being hurt. The difference? physical pain is irrelevant, nerves leading to the brain, inconsequential. Mental pain is intirely different though, eventually pain of a wound will die down. If it's in our head it won't die until you die or it dies. Die, die, die...No pain there. If someone hurts me I'd like to return the favour. I know I shouldn't, and I probably couldn't anyway...But...Just wait... 000112 ... kittenqueen what do you say mister 000114 ... bane i didn't know real pain till i lost the pain you caused me. 000122 ... Brad We're in america... you'd be hard pressed to really be hurting all that badly. Get over it. 000309 ... Midnight Bliss my pain is caused by my pleasure. Godsmack-wonderful creatures. but once you interpret the sentence, you realize that one's pain is caused by pleasure on occasion...love, for example... 000319 ... girl has become a very close friend of mine 000326 ... some grrl damn, he cuts me wide open when he speaks. 000408 ... amy won't kill you 000409 ... typhoid and pleasure.. are the twins.. ive had years of pain. now is time for pleasure. beware. 000410 ... MollyGoLightly *pours iodine on all posters' wounds* Heal up,damn you. There's much to be done.... 000410 ... Insolence A blinding pace, The only melody that can rip you apart, It carries the heart closer to bliss. I'm only crying for joy. 000415 ... rabbit of the morning pain is necessary. without it we would not know how good pleasure can feel. you know what i'm sayin? 000415 ... Free Pleasure and pain. Two sides of the same coin. We chase pleasure and pain fallows close behind. Always avoiding pain by seeking its oposite. 000415 ... Christy I didn't realize it would hurt so much when you said goodbye. I didn't think I would cry myself to sleep. It never occurred to me that I might have been falling in love with you. It doesn't matter though. You still left and I still cry. The world goes on turning even if the sun's rays nolonger tug at my eyelids as they did before. 000425 ... lloreren it's not the fact it exists that matters, it is the ache that it creates the havoc that it breaks and the dreams that it destroys. I cannot bear it again to see the purple of its decent and the velvet suffocation as it chokes me,drowns me, over and over and over. 000425 ... lisa_is_bionic Me and you baby Still flush all the pain away 000525 ... Liquid Goblin sweet and biter, rotten feet. It is the pain that tastes like meat. and in the night I fear defeat, for the lands I call my seat. Carry down the molten ore and toss it round for every more Feel the burning, scorching sun then scream out loud until your done I'll cook your skin from off your face Then slip away without a trace! thank you, thank you Copyright Anthony Fennell 000612 ... Silent Bob true pain...the pain that seethes within your heart, cramping your entire core, temples throbbing, gut wrenching...is when you have something that you love...except you dont really have it. its just out of reach. its there, but you dont have it. you see it, but cannot touch it. you touch it...but cannot taste it. you taste it...but you cant swallow it. the true pain that hurts the most is when you know what you want but you can't have it because of something like distance. see also: longdistancerelationships 000612 ... gigaphairy ouch 000704 ... SrM IM THE TYPE THAT GIVES PEOPLE PAIN ,I KNOW IT SUCKS THO 000718 ... SrM yous want to know pain then i'll tell you pain.....i knew this old lady,and her old husband that lived with there granddaughter,her partents died a year ago from aids, the old man was having some problems with his helth and soon died ,so then it was them two, acouple years pasted and the old lady started feeling sick,so she went to the doctors,and he said she had a henrold, so she went for a operation and it all went well, the girl that was 17 had back problems and she knew she had a herneia for some time but it never healed, so some months pasted and the old lady was inching down there in that place she went back to the doctors and he said she had a very bad yestinfection,so he gave her pills to take that were very strong.they didn'thelp her,one morning she was making breakfast(pancakes) and fell over dead, the altopse report showed that she died from an o.d. from the pills,the doctor excamined her "yestinfection" again and found out that she didn't have one,what it was ,was her pudic hair was infested with lice and she had tocken those strong pills for nuthin, when her grandaughter found out she killed herself and they both where baried next to each other in a golden castit. 000718 ... Reggie You told me you didn't want me. you toldme tonight was a goodnight to die. i asked you why. you said look at up at the stars. look how GODAMN ugly those stars are 000727 ... somebody a subject i can speak with certainty about, both emotional and physical. the pleasure of pain is how good it feels when its gone...somehow all the pain is related, when you hurt in your heart, try getting punched in the gut or the face and watch how your emotional pain fades away as the physical pain surges and dwindles. somehow your left redeemed. light a match and stick it to your skin, that's pain that lasts...until you forget that you were hurting, and then you realize that pain is all in your head. emotional and physical pain is all in your head...and when you learn how to control it, the pain is gone...both physically and emotionally. and you are left with everything but pain: regret, dissapointment, resentment...but also the good things, love and friendship...and those are easier to focus on...pain is a teacher, the lesson is life and the classroom the world. what you can learn from pain will teach you how to live with or without it, and most importantly will teach you to stop focusing so much on yourself and your awareness of discomfort will slip away while your satisfaction of helping others, loving others and yourself will begin to grow. but as in many things, this is a lesson that everyone must learn on their own and at their own pace, never force someone, as you only increase the pain threshold, they have to learn at their pace, not yours. 000728 ... genericderek it's amazing to me how much maudlin melodrama may be caused by something so intangible as pain. 000902 ... water nymph now my happiness has left 001004 ... velvet spasm ouch! 001127 ... kel at least now i'm not twisting this is pain straight up 001127 ... Barrett the constant gnawing in my stomach and rusty drill bits in my brain. 001127 ... Barrett I just want something I can never have 001127 ... Ariadne pain is what i feel when i realize that you love her just as much as i do, that i am not the only one you love, that at any moment i could lose you to her. and then i feel more pain still when i realize that that's what i deserve. the pain, the epiphany that she is all i will never be, and your heart is all i will never have. 001215 ... syn Pain has two meanings in my dictionary of life. Pain - The way he bit my neck just so... Showed me he loved me and that I would forever love him when he grabbed me by the back of my head and pulled my hair so tight the tears welled up... and then kissed me with the sweetest.. loving kiss. The way you scratched your nails down my body when I was about to cum.. becasue you knew I liked it. Pain - He's not here anymore. 001216 ... b0 the pain the fear my g0d the pain s0metimes i w0nder if it makes us str0nger 0r just hard and impenetrable it builds me up then tears me d0wn makes me str0ng then watches as i cry a puddle 0n the fl00r a br0ken heart beaten abused yes that was me y0u stepped 0n the fragile life y0u crushed with0ut even l00king back that is me that was me that was me ... w a s 001218 ... kronoman pain is having to piss so bad that you can't stand up straight, and there's no pisser for miles... In a crowd, no less. 001220 ... PaShYn Pain is an undying truth that everyone must know We do not ask for it...it just must bestow With will or without your permission It will never begin to listen Ban it from your heart and mind But it comes back time and time Good luck running and chasing Good luck with the choice you are making 001220 ... cazzi why is there so much pain in this world? what can we do to take it away? 001228 ... weird an emotion that thinks 001228 ... jaypeg i strive for more physical pain, just to see if it can block the emotional that i have been feeling for months now. i try to cheer up, i really do, but i can see only one way forward, for now and forever, that way is down. i am so ashamed, not to have told her, what i feel, now shes gone, but never forgotten. is it true, what we do at the begining of the year, we do for the rest of it, if so, all i hope for is that i can work myself to death. thirty in seven months, and i hope, no wish for the end. Why the end, because i know in myself that i can be no better that for what i am now, watching everyone else, grow old, being happy, together with someone they love, and all i have is pain. 010101 ... rollins I think about the meaning of pain. Pain is personal. It really belongs to the one feeling it. Probably the only thing that is your own. I like mine. 010106 ... the conveyor She caused me so much pain when we were together but it was nothing compared to the pain I feel now that we're apart. Proof of the circle of life lies in the fact that a large portion of the most beautiful art and poetry are the direct result of some terrible pain. 010111 ... little blond who thinks too much obviously the worst kind of pain is not physical. all of you know what i am referring to here. I would rather have salmonella than a broken heart. 010318 ... Dafremen See painful. 010319 ... ysbeidiau-heulog "Beauty is such a terrible thing She is suffering, yet more than death" 010319 ... lost the reason i hurt myself. the reason i am seperated from others. the reason i dont trust very many people. the reason i get strange looks. the reason i suffer. the reason i want to die. the reason i am labeled. the reson i listen to metal and rock. the reason that i can peirce,stab,cut myself without felling. the reason i torment myself. the reason why i will never find true love. the reason why i have so many scars. the reason i am here. emotional pain is the cause of all this. 010319 ... mikey pain in my chest. in my throat. fuck i hate being sick!day 5 now i thought it was going away but damn! 010319 ... smile it weeps. 010322 ... smile weeping 010322 ... smile crying cry sbbing weep tears painful unbearable oh my oh my! 010322 ... Chrity No one knows the pain I knew. It ate me up inside, and it showed as scars on the outside. Strength. Faith gave me the strength to overcome the pain. Truth. Love gave me the power of truth. God knows the pain I knew. He is the one Who saved me from it. 010408 ... bluedaisy33 i forgot to cry and now the pain is coming back 010408 ... sugar fairy It hurts so much Like a knife through the heart Like a spear through the lungs Like a bullet through the head It just hurts me so much 010424 ... like rain. everyone close to me either gets off on it or ignores it. she is frightened of it. can't someone just stop yelling and hold me, for once? 010429 ... Dafremen Alright, get yer ass over here and give me a hug. No funny business though, I'm a happily married man!! There, I hope it's all better now. - - 010430 ... velvet spasm potato chip hey aeroplane 010430 ... nocturnal dafremen seems to be in a particularly giddy mood today. everything he's written's actually made me giggle a little. thanks man, I needed to giggle. 010430 ... lost a kick ass song by stereomud 010430 ... daylitedreamer pain is real, even if nobody knows, and i'm missin you.. and nobody knows it but me 010514 ... fanta I’ve had enough of it that’s for sure going through my parents’ divorce watching them suffer seeing my father in agony thinking my partner would die after being diagnosed with a tumour hearing my favorite cousin committed suicide separating from the only person I felt ever really understood me feeling alone feeling vulnerable finding someone to be with making a mistake because he used me being scared of the world which seems overwhelming at times being rejected by more people than I care to think about having my parent die not being able to talk to anyone about it because death makes people uncomfortable going through it alone wondering why I go on 010520 ... Dafremen I'm wondering that myself. No wait, no I'm not, I'm wondering why you're dwelling on it. No wait, that's not what I'm wondering either. You want to know what I'm REALLY wondering? (Shallow self-indulgent one-dimensional guy that I am) I'm wondering why you chose the word PARTNER to describe the person that was diagnosed with a tumor. I wonder that because well, it's a very suspicious way to put it. Not, my girlfiend, my boyfriend, my wife, my husband, my lover, my soulmate, my girl, my guy, my roommate, my significant other but..MY PARTNER. Are you by any chance a partner in a Law or Accounting firm or some other business partnership? Just wondering.. - - 010521 ... Dafremen Which brings me to my PAIN blather. Why, when describing the pain of urinating a kidney stone or through a venereal infection inflamed urethra is it described as "pissing razorblades"? Who was the twisted son of a bitch that thought that up? In my WILDEST imagination, razor blades and my tallywhacker have NEVER been together in the same thought, let ALONE the same simile. I'm just trying to imagine what led to this comparison. Pissing acid. (I could see this one) Pissing fire. (Ok, that actually sounds kind of cool if you could do it, but definitely still painful. It works. KISS concert anyone?) Pissing stinging nettles. (Ok, doesn't exactly roooll off of your tongue, but it gets the message across pretty well.) Pissing Thistles. (A nice replacement for the above which DOES roll off of your tongue.) Pissing blood. (Ok so that doesn't describe the pain at all, but it WOULD be helpful in allowing someone to come up with their OWN mental simile. "Let me put it this way do0d, I'm pissing blood." "Ow.") Pissing chainsaws Pissing thumbtacks Pissing bastard swords Pissing Lincoln logs Pissing white hot charcoal briquets Pissing porcupines Pissing two by fours Pissing bowling balls Pissing mousetraps Pissing a food processor Pissing red ants Pissing red anteaters Pissing horned toads Pissing table saws Pissing nail files Pissing claw hammers Pissing razor blades (Notice how easily this fit in the above list of ridiculous items to have coming out of your wee-wee? I rest my case.) - - 010521 ... fanta Okay, Dafremen, time to grow up and take your gripes elsewhere. Please. If you are angry with the world, perhaps you should consider going to therapy rather than taking out you struggles on those around you. A friend of mine had a great analogy that I will share with you. Everyone gets a bucket of shit to carry through life (being all of the not-so-pleasant things we have gone through). Some people's is bigger than others, but we all get one. We all have a choice what to do with it. We can dump it over someone's head, thus taking out our troubles on others around us. We can chose to sit in it, feeling sorry for ourselves. Or, we can plant a rose bush in it and turn it into something beautiful, as manure makes great fertilizer. Your choice my friend. By the way, I see that you discovered my thoughts under another area as well. I wanted to share this with you. If you find it necessary to criticize my input here, I just want to let you know in advance that I won't bother to respond because this isn't a site for abusive debate. 010521 ... Dafremen Necessary to CRITICIZE you? Hell I hardly find it necessary to RESPOND to you right now. I'm not sure what planet you think this is, but where I'M from, asking someone what they meant by PARTNER is NOT a criticism. As for my "PROBLEMS" my "BEING ANGRY WITH THE WORLD" my "DUMPING A BUCKET OF SHIT ON YOUR HEAD"...what the hell are you talking about? You talk about your INPUT here...is that what you REALLY think blather is? YOU giving input? This place isn't about Input lady/do0d/ladydo0d it's about OUTLAY. That's right, you have a bunch of people who want to say sh*T and they come on here and guess what they do? They BLATHER. In fact, that's what I'm doing right now...I'm BLLAAATTTHHHEEERRRing. Get it? It's really quite simple, something pops into your head...you type it! Now as for my HORRIBLE tragic hate for humanity that you seem to have "picked up" from some astral plane on some distant planet in some parallel universe somewhere, it's non-existant. I don't dislike you, or anyone else here for that matter, in fact I think some of you are precious and the rest of you are borderline amusing to watch when you beg for either attention or that the whole world be a f*cking lawn party with everyone RESPECTING everyone else's opinion and CARING about everyone else's feelings. The kind of world where when you puke, it tastes like peach sorbet and when you shit it smells like potpourri. Well see that kind of world sounds peachy keen to me too, unfortunately as long as there are emotional predators out there, people that THINK like you will continue to be victimized. Sad? Yes, I agree 100% that the world shouldn't be like that. True? You bet, and I appreciate your attempts to change it, they remind me of my OWN ideaistic attempts to change the world instead of changing the way I perceive the world. Therein I think lies your huge problem with me. You see me as the "anti-fanta" the guy spreading gloom and misery. The guy who KILLS hope and beauty and love and all that other warm fuzzy crap. Guess what though lady? I'M not the one spouting off about depression, and cutting myself, and killing myself and the misery of having to pay bills. I'm not the one screaming at the world to F*CK OFF AND DIE. I'm not the one MOANING about how agonizing it is when you get dumped. I'm also not the one defending these whining sniveling twerps right to blather what they want, while at the same time CRITICIZING ME ABOUT WHAT I WANT TO BLATHER. Get the f*ck down off of your high horse lady, YOU grow up, YOU go somewhere else if you don't like free speech. Me? I'll keep right on saying what I say and hopefully for every 5 weak little souls that I push over the edge, I'll pull one strong person back from the brink. Your soft and gentle approach CREATES whiners by giving them the attention they seek. You are the byproduct of a societal machine which has been cranking out WEAK people. Deal with it, there's no shame, it's a big club. Finally, I LOVE life! What the f*ck are you? BLIND? I haven't got a care in the world(that most husbands and father's don't have), I've got 4 healthy, beautiful kids, a great job that pays good money, a loving wonderful wife of 11 years and I've got this cool place to blather. The cool thing is, I got up off my ass and went AFTER those things to get them. Took me many many years to get where I am, and I LOVE it! If HALF of these "poor depressed people" would stop looking at what they DON'T have and start looking at what they DO have, they could have that DREAM life that you seem to want for them, yourself and the WHOOOLE world. See, I lecture from experience, you lecture from your emotions. Whose approach is better? We'll let time decide. P.S. My pissing razorblades blather had NOTHING to do with you or your feeeelings(whoa whoa whoa), it was damned funny if I do say so myself. P.P.S. Keep trying to "scold" me at your own peril and my own amusement lady. The best thing for you to do would be to keep on drooling your drivel and IGNORE me if you don't like it. I don't usually give advice on how to deal with me. Take it. 010522 ... SPLINK ah would a lollipop make it feel better? 010526 ... TeriiK Morning, Pain says hi. Pain says goodnight to me...this i dont understand, becuase Pain comes to see me in my dreams. I dream, that im sleeping next to her, like i did so many times. I watch myself, from above, i see my content look, my look of pure bliss, having her there to wake up to. Then morning comes, i roll to the side...it was so long ago that she left me...why cant all of her leave me? The good left, the bad stayed...it stayed, as pain. Pain is my companion, pain never leaves, never denies me, always lets me into its arms...please come back and make this end...please 010611 ... cathy Here I sit quiet alone wondering why I can't come home. The pain grows deep inside. The tears build as I cry. And all I do is try. The hurt comes and hits me strong. The hurt comes and stays so long.I sit and try to hide. Please come home, come back to me your love will set me free.Let the tears stop from falling. Hear my heart calling. I wish you were there when I needed someone to care. When my heart beats and my body shakes, I feel the cold against me. To have your fingers touch my heart would have the pain stop and never start. Let the tears stop from falling hear me calling. 010714 ... Casey I inhale the lemon pinesol scent as my torso colides with the kitchen tile floor. The mark of the frying pan on my back still stings. The bruses, bumps, and cuts on my head ooze with flaring nerves and blood cells. And as my father stands over me, water falls from my tear ducts 010714 ... Sonya You with your sparklings eyes and your crazy hair. I've said you never caused me pain, but it was merely a lie. For now I'm in the worst pain that could be felt by a girl. This feeling that I can't ignore. This feeling of being used, abused, thrown away, abandoned. This feeling that I should be doing more. This feeling that I COULD be doing more. This feeling that I should be there, with you, holding you, taking away YOUR pain. I can't. I can't do that. This feeling of uselessness...a pain that has invaded the caverns of my heart. Why can't I chase it out? Why must this happen to me? I can't bear it. I can't bear it anymore. Please help me... 011009 ... Rhinna me. 011031 ... shadow knowing pain requires that you know pleasure also hate requires love fear can only come when there has been a sense of safety I can not feel pain. I do not know hate. Fear is a stranger to me. Some day, I will understand pain. But only when I know pleasure. I will comprehend hate when I have felt love Until that moment, I will simply be. 011101 ... cerulean caelum there is something beatiful in pain. perhaps because it is almost always pure. survive and it makes you stronger. ...but surviving isn't as simple as it sounds. 011102 ... SleepingDeath pain sucks. pain is weakness. pain is caused by others, by yourself, and by your surroundings. getting rid of pain is harder than it seems. 011105 ... birdmad opiate 011105 ... Galina I want no air to breathe; For every time i inhale I feel pain. Heavy is the pressure as it goes in my body. Oh how much energy it takes just to take one breath. It wears me out, makes me weak. I am exhausted of trying, I cannot go on any longer. God gave me something I cannot handle: life. Something so simple became something so hard. Every breath is a struggle, something I cannot fight. Each breath is heavier than the last. It's getting harder and harder to survive, harder to breathe. Each breath is weaker than the last. Is my breathing going to continue to shorten and shorten? Are these my last breaths? Will I struggle longer? Will I stuggle for my last breath? 011106 ... CheapVodka I woke up one morning to see your face not next to me on the pillow. Standing up slowly so that I didn't get too dizzy and fall I wander over to wear I think you might be, your workshop. You always loved to paint but lately you've just had such a hard time. You know I think it's beautiful. Yes I like the color. Of course you can have privacy. I leave you to your painting. I see your pain on the canvas. It has always set such sorrow into my heart to see you hurt so bad thru such beauty. I wish I had a second chance. I wish I could hold up my side of the deal, to be with you always. I'm sorry that I have to leave you like this. I'm sorry that it didn't just take me unexpectedly. But I'm dieing now, and they say there's nothing I can do. You always hated the legal things. I'm sorry that you have to do all this for me...if I could only have my strength back. But it's eating me alive. You come into the room and sit next to me on the bed. When you wrap your arms around me I feel as if nothing in the world can pull us apart. I am so scared of missing you. I have so much fear to die now. But I want you to promise me you'll be strong. Promise me that when it happens you'll live on with good memories of me. Promise you won't be mad at me. Promise you'll always remember my smile. 011106 ... no one someone told him he'd break me; knew i was right. 011106 ... moondance We both feel it too much. I know he thinks too. I hurt all the more because not only does he have to live with her, but I know it hurts him. I'd give anything to take the pain away & make him happy. I'd forgive him anything. She gives him the blame. I love him too much, but there's nothing I can do. I adore him for his wife too. If we do the world will fall apart. If I don't, it will never end. 011107 ... Chiller Pain and Time are inseparable. 011122 ... jon ...can be pleasure if the mind is tuned just so. 011206 ... shhiva it's something that is connected to life... specially when you are a livin' thinkin' creature with FEELINGS and DREAMS and DESIRES... 011228 ... Mahayana: Zakah: see: tomorrow feel: yesterday be: today 011228 ... Aaron my mind hurts, my heart is numb, pushing me back and forth making me want to push everything away.. and the unseen wants me to curl up into the fetal position and cry.... wanting me to die.. but i go on.. my heart is numb, and my mind hurts. 011228 ... oren Pain is always there, waiting to remind us of just how horrible life can be. 011228 ... Paramour Pain is like the rain that never again would be sane. 020105 ... Becky I hide everything behind empty smiles and careless eyes, but it's not impossible for this to change. I have a morbid imagination for death. blood..... pain. Probably induced by the hundreds of murder mystery / Stephen King novels I've read. But I can't blame literature for inflicting some of these pains on myself. I created my own world that I regress to when I'm feeling self loathing. I bleed only to "empty" myself of the wrong inside of me. You take away my knife, hoping to take away the want, the need for pain; for my own blood. I'm not a vampire or a twisted fuck, so don't take that the wrong way. I dream and fantasize about my own death.... about yours, and I wallow in the tears I shed. I've died a thousand deaths, but imagination only creates reality when you're willing to create it. 020124 ... kelli crane I tell you how I feel, but you don't care. I say, "tell me the truth", but you wont dare. You say love is a hell you cannot bear. Well, I say give me mine back and then go there, for all I care. I've got my feet on the ground, and I don't go to sleep to dream. You've got your head in the clouds, and you're not at all what you seem. This mind, this body, and this voice cannot be stiffled by your deviant ways. So, don't forget what I told you...don't come around, I've got my own hell to raise. I have never been so insulted in all my life. I could swallow the seas to wash down all of this pride. First, you run like a fool to be at my side. Now, you run like a fool, but you just run to hide, and I can't abide. Don't make it a big deal. Don't be so sensitive. We're not playing a game anymore. You don't have to be so defensive. Don't plead me your case. Don't bother to explain. Don't even show me your face, 'cause it's a crying shame. Just go back to the rock from under which you came. Take all of the sorrow and the stakes you claim...and don't forget the blame. 020125 ... kelli crane fiona apple 020125 ... Mahayana pain pa-i-n pain is: your [i] in the middle of the hot pan pa-i-n pain 020208 ... knp Why did you do this? You hurt me more than you could ever know a pain so deep it hurts when i take a breath and so i tried to forget about you... and somehow thats my fault because who knows if i want you back if i want that pain again, just to save you from it because i love you and you can't even see how much i care, or that its your fault, and still i try to save you from my feelings i wish things would just end, or just begin, or just do something...so i could just not think...and try to save us both 020220 ... Lateralus feeling you get when you expirence the real truths of life 020306 ... marz i you hide it oh-so-well but i can see. i feel it too... it is the feeling i get when i wake up in the morning and for a milisecond i think there is nothing wrong with the day. then i remember. and i feel a hole inside me. and i want to roll over and never get up. 020317 ... reitoei pain is a product of limited memory. created by the mind to reference certain inadvisable actions. its a way of saying "dont cut of your finger you idiot. dont try that again. it decreases your chances of survival and reproduction. bad!!" just a mental mechanism. pain is nothing 020408 ... Kate "Thrice Considered" 04.16.02 obligations bind to you like hardened skins of over-ripened fruit and for two weeks you've wondered what stench had permeated your waking thoughts and crept into your dreams late at night when you removed the paper-thin facade, which you unconsciously wielded as a double-edged sword to those who care, and upon your pillow you let your bangs fall across your forehead for days and days, your feet have etched your plans into the floorboards your finger gently tracing words written upon a warmed windowpane "does he ever get the girl" in faintest printing the sunlight from your eastern window awakens you with promises of opportunities and infinite moments but you look down at your hands and find them bleeding your sheets crumpled and stained two voices carry through the wind "do you know how much I bleed for you?" 020420 ... Random Dan Would pain be the lack of pleasure, or pleasure the lack of pain? 020421 ... fucked once too often My ever constant companion. It hates me, and I hate it, but I can't live without it. Though I'm sure as hell it could live without me. Coarsing through my chest, forcing me to gulp for every breath. Each breath-full of air that I force into my lungs tears at my throat, and makes my stomach wretch. Driving it's way deeper and deeper into me, it's sunk it's blade far beyond my weak and withered heart, now it spreads its glory into the farthest reaches of my soul. Constant torment. Making me fight for every breath. I'm fucked with fighting it anymore. 020610 ... Syrope Today in his bed I smirked to myself as the stubble on his chin added pain to the pleasure that surged through me. I've always been a little into that...but when he left today I lay on my carpet and cried like a three year old, like I haven't cried in months, because, well, today was better than any day I've had in months. Here we are again - I trusted too much, too soon, or something, because my heart's broken again. All my life I've been wary of promises, because no one's kept them yet...but I promised myself I wouldn't go back to how awful I felt before...that the point of a relationship was to find pleasure in the normal pain, not add pain to what little pleasure I had gleaned on my own, on my time between these attempts at being what he wants. I broke my own promise, and now there really is no one to trust. It's not normal to shudder and cry and moan because I can't please someone whom I don't even know. "Well you better not see me when you come back. I could be sharin someone elses pillow. And my love for you is better than diamonds, And tomorrow I'll be dancing on my own, And I'll need a kiss for my head that's achin' Hoping my place with you's not taken. Kiss me and tell me it's not broken. Kiss me and kiss me till I'm dead." 020610 ... Freak i live on the verge the verge of tears it hurts it hurts a lot dont ask me what is wrong 020612 ... phil "Pain has bever made my life better." (smile or a frown?) "Are you saying your life is better becuase of pain?" "I'm saying pain is not having a better life." 020725 ... phil misunderstood unrelatd words echoing meanings 020729 ... Rower1 Emotional pain is he worst suffering a person can take to there heart. It hurts pretty fucking bad when you lose someone, when someone loses you, being alive is emotional pain because so many fucking people in this shitting world give you so many expectations. But i found a different pain, i wasnt in a fight, it wasnt loosing my virginity....the first was being hit by a car on my bike, my first tear was through shock, my second through loosing my £3000 bike and my 3rd was the physical pain i went through. My legs wouldnt move, my arm was stuck somewhere, and i was lying in the middle of a main road...a death trap. Since then im certain i have been emotionally traumatised by it. I am a rower and since then (Jan 02)i have been left behind in my crew, i still go through the self enduced physical pain of racing where your legs burn, your lungs feel like there bleeding and every muscle feels as though it doubles in weight...but im kool with that, i can handle that...but they left me behind and now im no where...im on my own..they said they would help me get on track....now thats pain. 020804 ... Beth Is when you turn away from me and hurt us both. 020804 ... blown cherry On my own I grow tired of covering it in layers of brighter emotions. I wish I could bleed it from my body, and be rid of it for good. Then I could begin over, with a new foundation for my love. 020814 ... trin i would rather wallow in pain than try to begin again all i want is to be happy but i can't because love hurts deeply. 020814 ... Shane Pain is what I feel when she leaves. Pain is what I don't want to feel when shes gone, I wish that I didn't have to feel it like this. I wish it was just sex and having someone to go to the movies with. I wish someone would break my legs because that pain would be so much better than the one that I am feeling. 020918 ... suture doll you whispered into my pores asking me what was wrong i moved the silence around my mouth, trying to taste it and remember what it felt like to shed my tears on the corners of the sky ashes aching grey of the mourning at dawn and misery running down the window pains the silence slithers down my throat little white pills that leave an aftertaste of blood the darkness came over me from the right like a shadow in the corner of yer eye weighed upon my chest rips cracking in a gruesome melody a shard of night straight into my heart each beat poured more memories into yer mouth ive been dying for you you lick yer lips slowly almost seductively sucked yer words (darkness?)back into yer mouth nothing hurt more than the time that i realized that when i tell you to forget me you will 021011 ... filzkugel comes to us all. some love it, some don't but what con you do about it? nothing? now THAT is pain! 021012 ... urdumb u u u u u u u u u u u 021021 ... just some old junkie pain registering in my brain. severe chronic pain is a demon, a parasite that feeds on your sanity and your soul. every day is another day of fighting your own emotions.trying to smile when you feel like wailing out in agony. pain changes your whole world. it holds you as a prisioner in your own home. every day is a fight with yourself as you ponder what death would be like.wolud it be as bad as living as a prisioner of pain? would suicide set me free or only bring about more pain? (papauver somniferium)is my only relief.now im in two prisions. hard telling which one is worse. the sting of the needle pierceing my body is the temporary relief. now i can paint that smile on my face (for a little while) but i still wish to cry out in agony.i hate the pain in my body. what it is doing to me and what i have done to myself, trying to escape. what must i have done? the cycle keeps turning onward day after day. which will get me first? my own body,the cold sharp sting of the damn needle,or will i finally deside to see what is on the other side of this thing we know as life,and end it all with my own hands? i wonder every day if it will end on its own, by the insainity it has driven me to,or will my reliever end it for me? i really wonder. 021130 ... BSC papaver somniferum 021130 ... Reverend Lough self-infliction. purge. purging, cleansing. lose myself for a while, but return to consensual reality. eons of emotional captivity, released. this pain is only an illusion. 021214 ... nothing I would never bother you I would never promise to I will never follow you I will never bother you Never speak a word again I will crawl away for good I will move away from here You won't be afraid of fear No thought was put into this I always knew it would come to this Things have never been so swell I have never felt so well [nothing else is right] Pain... 021223 ... someone nothing hurts so bad as something you could have prevented. 021223 ... camille it will eat you inside, my life of regrets... eating. chewing. swallowing. devouring my insides with each scraping grasp for my pain. you swallow it whole. dripping with emotion. dripping with pain. 021224 ... Nathan88 i wanted to type something here but at the last second saw *someone's* quote and realized i have nothin more to say because that says it all 021225 ... Kinky Theres a pain i feel, sometimes its good then other times its bad. 030209 ... be happy It's not as bad as you think. Get over it and get on with your life. 030222 ... in pain hmm how would you know? ah well 030222 ... ali with happiness comes pain. you cant experience true happiness without experiencing pain. 030421 ...   that sensation one expdriences upon realizing they are irrelevant, like now. 030421 ... /anon The more pain you experience the better the happiness is when it comes. Cause you wouldent know happiness from anything else if you havent experienced the opposite. So the more of the opposite you get the more you can realize happiness when it comes. But with enough pain you get in a rut and refuse to feel happiness. Hopefully you get out of it and when you do its the best feeling this side of childhood. 030421 ... m.j.k. Blend and balance Pain and comfort Deep within you Till you will not have me any other way 030505 ... phil patience in suffering everlasting life oh boy that don't sound fun 030505 ... Superstrings "Embrace this moment, remember, we are eternal, all this pain is an illusion." -M.J.K. 030514 ... starjewel Why can't I stop it? I don't want to feel it Especially for you why do I think you're worth it? You're not But I always feel the pain anyway and all everybody has to say in response to the pain I feel the pain that tore me deeper than ever last night when I saw where you were when I was up missing you again looking at the moon and wandering if you were too The only thing people can think to do about my pain is to justify your actions I mean I guess they're right I guess boys will be boys and pain will be pain 030707 ... jane an escape. sometimes i enjoy it, and sometimes i want to escape from it. really i have to realize how much i like pain, like conflicting myself, and accept myself for it. i have to find someone who will nurture me into healing, or accept me for who i am. 030707 ... Fire & Roses pain... some people say that you're over reacting. I think they're wrong. If it hurts it hurts... Who are they to say that some one else's pain is worse then mine. Maybe that person is stronger then me and more able to handle it... When you hurt... you hurt. "Be kind, for someone else has it worse."~Plato 030708 ... starjewel um nothing i just couldn't find the page and thins is the only way I figured I could get there 030715 ... ferret adema 030716 ... me my life 030918 ... misstree you want i should staple your hand to your forehead for you? 030918 ... phil _ablsolutely_everything 031009 ... lambdarad We often add to our pain and suffering by being overly sensitive, over reacting to minor things, and sometimes taking things too personally. But please - don't that this too personally. 031015 ... lambdarad That's not what I typed! Please don't take THIS too personally. 031015 ... lambdarad Fuck... I'll never get it right... 031015 ... Lemon_Soda The option for pain can be presented in many forms by many people. We except it. We feel it. We wallow in it. Sometimes we're just doing it for the attention. Sometimes we do it to punish ourselves. Sometimes we need the drama to get over what someone else did to us. Sometimes...sometimes I just gotta bleed... 031015 ... Death of a Rose Enjoy it while it lasts! 031015 ... a girl with nothing to say sometimes good sometimes bad depends what kind of pain it is the pain of a knife cutting over your wrist is not a good feeling of pain 031017 ... Puss In Boots Slowly I meander down that ashen path; winds that scream obsceneties at me, lascerating my soul with their empty cries. What pain I feel is buried deep in the chasms of my mind. Dormant and all-consuming, feeding on me like a carnivorous emotion. Beating me into submission I declare my guilt. My sorrow at my loss, full of self-loathing and deceit. What serpentine vermillion fingers are clutching at my heart? Strangling me to the point of releif. Squeezing the black guilt out of me until I am crying tears of lonliness. 031017 ... Touch My Infection pain - freedom from this anger locked up inside of me..it helps..i can feel the rush of it.. surging through my blood.. 031022 ... Death of a Rose nothing but a whip with ribbons and maybe a bell 031022 ... RedArmageddon she smiled, and laughed. "do you want fries with that?" 031106 ... grind mathmatiks PAIN lets us know that we are real is a base neurological reaction that means nothing is a feeling as meaningfull as love stimulates the mind can set you free only hurts is bad? can be inspiring PAIN is an acquired taste. 031113 ... Coquese Razors pain you Rivers are damp Acids stain you Drugs cause cramps Guns aren't lawful Nooses give Gas smells awful You might as well live -Dorothy Parker 031118 ... Jane Doe But to live, while in so much pain, isn't living any more. It's going on without a soul, beating without a purpose. And then we ask why the Nation's on prozac and why so many are downhill in the slump of depression. 031207 ... Love Is All You Need it is easier on the outside because people can see. they can see if they hurt you, you do not need to explain. you don't have to justify pain when it's there in front of you. but when it's on the inside, when you are hurt because your love is rejected, when it's unrequited, when it's so far out of reach it hurts and it aches mroe than anything. and you can't make that pain go away. you can't see it, but it's there and it tears and rips inside. there's no cure for the pain you cause yourself 031210 ... f thats true however there becomes a time when you give in to yourself. you climb over the wall that you have constructed and you never look back in regret, just in solitude. The deep cuts never fade but what you learn during the hard times make you acknowledge the present, help you live in the moment. There's no waiting around to be happy any more, it's now or never. the past only guides you closer to the truth, don't hang on to it just apprieciate it. 031210 ... hurt_consumer Nothings new nothings fine you played with this anguished heart of mine I love you and hate you at the same time the guilty live and the innocence die i'll make you bleed and i'll make you cry nothings fine nothings new i would bleed eternally for you but who knew it would be so soon? we went together so perfectly until you went and betrayed me I know for sure I don't need you I'm over it and over you there's nothing left to say or do but goodbye ; but remember nothings new and nothings fine even tho we ran out of time 040116 ... Phoenixz_tears In this close group of friends there lies a secert ... there lies a lie In this close group of friends most importantly there lies a Bond ... today that bond was broken one of the friendz was killed tho his body is gone his soul livez on in us so hence the name {Pain} *~* We love you~*~ Brian 040117 ... Phoenixz_Tearz HURT make the hurt go away *~~*!! 040118 ... erez "my pain is self-chosen" /lane staly. 040120 ... chairil_anwar If my time should come I'd like no one to entice me Not even you No need for those sobs and cries I am but a wild animal Cuts from its kind Though bullets should pierce my skin I shall strike and march forth Wounds and poison should I take aflee Aflee Til' the pain and pang should disappear And I should care even less I want to live a thousand more years 040131 ... obsessive release From my experience 1lb. pain 1lb. pleasure and life = pain²(age)- pleasure therefore life = ultimate pain = algebra Ha! I knew there was a use for algebra! 040131 ... Bethany is addicting makes you think clearly you want more want... haha 040211 ... taffy a way to deal a release the only pure feeling i have left makes mental things become real 040219 ... phil nothing means more to me than the pain of not giving up, you think after all these years of pain, unanswered, suddenly I see it your way, world? 040309 ... meg at my very core. 040310 ... Bonne fete Richard 1- Devise monétaire au cabaret ? 2- Aliment fait d'une pâte composée essentiellement de farine, d'eau, de sel et de levure (ou de levain), pétrie et fermentée puis cuite au four. Du pain quoi. 3- la société: la vie quotidienne: l'alimentation ... Gagner son pain. 4- Gastronomie ; art culinaire , cuisine , cuistance [arg. mil.], gastrologie [vx]. - Gastrolâtrie [litt., rare]. Appareil ou masse. - Apprêt ; bridage, troussage ; assaisonnement ; dressage. - Ingrédient. Cuisson. - Bain-marie, court-bouillon, daube, friture. - Gratin, soufflé ; chaud-froid. Conservation. - Réfrigération ; congélation , surgélation. - Déshydratation, séchage ; appertisation, stérilisation ; boucanage, fumage ou fumaison ; macération, marinage. Conserve, semi-conserve ; confit. - Bocal, boîte de conserve, brik. Viande ; arg. : barbaque, bidoche. Bœuf : aiguillette baronne, aloyau, basse-côte, bavette à bifteck, bavette à pot-au-feu, charolaise, collier, crosse, entrecôte, faux-filet, filet, flanchet, gîte à la noix, gîte de devant, gîte de derrière, globe, griffe, hampe, jumeau à bifteck, jumeau à pot-au-feu, macreuse, plat de côtes couvert, plat de côtes découvert, poitrine, queue, rond de tranche basse, rumsteck, salière, surlonge, tendron, tranche. - Mouton : collier, côtes premières, côtes secondes, côtes découvertes, épaule, filet, gigot, selle. - Porc : côte, échine, filet, jambon, jambonneau, lard, pied, plat de côtes, pointe, queue, travers de côtes. - Veau : collier, cuisseau, épaule, flanchet, haut-de-côtelettes, jarret, longe, noix pâtissière, poitrine, queue, sous-noix, tendron. - Chevreuil : cuissot, gigue. - Venaison. - Poisson : darne, escalope, filet, joue. Abats, tripes : amourette, animelles, cervelle, fraise, pied, ris, tête ; cœur, foie, langue, poumon, rate, rognon. - Abattis ; aileron, cou, cœur, foie, gésier, patte, tête ; croupion, sot-l'y-laisse. Charcuterie, cochonnaille [fam.]. - Cervelas, cervelle, coppa, foie gras, galantine, hure, jambon, jésus, langue, pied de porc ; andouillette, saucisse (saucisse de Francfort, saucisse de Strasbourg, etc.), saucisson, mortadelle, pâté, rillettes, rosette, salami, saucisson à l'ail, merguez, chipolata, saucisson sec, tripoux. Carbonade ou carbonnade, grillade, rôt ou rôti ; daube, estouffade ; fondue (fondue bourguignonne). Ballottine, escalope, paupiette, médaillon, mignon, roulade ; émincé. - Brochette, kebab. - Acra, attereau, beignet, boulette, croquette, fricatelle, quenelle. - Terrine, timbale ; chartreuse, pain. - Casserole, cassolette, coquille. - Barquette, bouchée (bouchée à la reine), brik, vol-au-vent. Civet, farci, fricassée, gibelotte, pot-au-feu, ragoût, salmigondis, suprême. - Aligot, borchtch ou bortsch, brouet, cassoulet, choucroute, estouffat, fricandeau, goulache ou goulasch, halicot, hochepot, navarin, osso-buco, petit salé, potée, poule au pot ; petits pieds. - Chili con carne ; chop suey ; couscous, méchoui, tajine ; foutou. Poissons ; hareng, maquereau, sardine, sprat. - Bar ou loup de mer, cabillaud ou aiglefin ou églefin, colin ou lieu, daurade , éperlan, espadon, grenadier, julienne, limande, lote ou lotte, raie, rouget, roussette, saumon, sole, thon, truite, turbot. - Calmar ou calamar, seiche. - Fruits de mer ; plateau de fruits de mer ; huître, moule ; palourde, praire ; bigorneau ou escargot de mer ; oursin. - Crabe, crevette, langoustine ; homard, langouste. Bouillabaisse, bourride, cotriade, matelote, waterzoï. - Brandade de morue ou brandade ; tarama ; poutargue ou boutargue. Steak tartare ; carpaccio. - Haddock ; sushi. - Plateau de fruits de mer. Tarte, tourte ; croustade, empanada, flamiche, koulibiac, pie, pizza, pissaladière, quiche. - Crêpe, pancake ; pannequet, taco. - Diablotin, croûton. Ambérique ou, abusif, germe de soja, artichaut, asperge, aubergine, bette ou blette, brocolis, cardon, chou de Bruxelles, chou caraïbe ou taro, chou-fleur, chou-rave, chou rouge, crambe, fenouil, haricot beurre, haricot mange-tout, haricot vert, pâtisson (ou : bonnet-de-prêtre, artichaut d'Espagne), pe-tsaï [chin.], poireau, poivron, pousse de bambou. Cucurbitacées. - Bénincase, calebasse, chayote, citrouille, concombre, cornichon, cougourde [région.], courge, courgette, giraumont, malossol, momordique, papengaie ou paponge, potiron. Aunée, betterave, carotte, céleri-rave, chervis ou sium, crosne, igname, ipomée ou patate douce, navet, panais, pomme de terre ou patate, radis, raifort, rutabaga, salsifis ou tragopodon, scorsonère, topinambour. Salade. - Batavia, céleri, chicorée, endive ou witloof, feuille-de-chêne, frisée, laitue, lola ou lola rossa, mâche ou doucette, mesclun, pissenlit, romaine, scarole ; chicon. - Chiffonnade. Fondue de légumes, garniture de légumes, jardinière, macédoine ; bouilli. - Paella, risotto, riz à la cantonaise. - Chips, frite, gratin dauphinois, pomme paille, pomme de terre en robe de chambre ou des champs, purée. - Crudités. Mousse, mousseline. - Mirepoix, salpicon. - Hachis, farce. Bouillon ; consommé, potage, soupe, velouté ; minestrone ; gratinée. - Bouillon aveugle ou sans yeux. Œuf brouillé, œuf en cocotte, œuf en meurette ; œuf à la coque, œuf frit, œuf au ou sur le plat, œuf poché ; omelette. Pâtes. - Cheveu d'ange, vermicelle ; coquillette, nouille ; fettucine, macaroni, penne rigate, spaghetti, tagliatelle ; cannelloni, gnocchi, lasagne, ravioli, tortellini. Sauces. - Sauce aigre-douce, aillade, aïoli, allemande, sauce aurore, béarnaise, béchamel, sauce bourguignonne, sauce espagnole, sauce gribiche, sauce hollandaise, ketchup, sauce mayonnaise, poivrade, sauce ravigote, remoulade, saupiquet [vx], tabasco, velouté, vinaigrette. - Court-bouillon ; escabèche, marinade ; meurette. - Bisque, coulis. - Liaison ; gélatine, gelée, panade ; roux. Aromate, épice ; condiment. - Anis, armoise, badiane, basilic, ciboulette ou civette, marjolaine ou origan, menthe, cerfeuil, estragon, fenouil, thym, laurier, persil, romarin ; câprier, capucine ; aneth, anis, carvi, coriandre ou, cour., persil chinois, cumin, girofle, moutarde ; genévrier, piment ; raifort ; angélique, sarriette, serpolet ; ail, ciboule ou cive, échalotte, gingembre, oignon. - Betel, cannelle, poivre, muscade, paprika, safran, vanille. - Bouquet garni, cari ou curry, chutney, fines herbes, nuoc-mâm, quatre-épices ; persillade. - Achards, pickles. Sel ; sel blanc, sel gris ou sel de cuisine. - Sel marin ou sel de mer ; sel gemme. - Sel fin, gros sel. - Chlorure de sodium. Poivre ; poivre blanc, poivre gris, poivre noir. - Poivre en grain, poivre concassé ; poivre moulu, poivre en poudre. - Poivre de Cayenne, poivre de Guinée. Cuisine ; spécialt : coquerie, coqueron. - Arrière-cuisine, office, souillarde. Buffet, vaisselier. - Table . - Chemin de table, nappe, napperon, toile cirée. - Ramasse-miettes. Boucherie, charcuterie, rôtisserie, traiteur, triperie ; primeur ; poissonnier. - Halle, marché ; supermarché. Boucher, charcutier, rôtisseur, traiteur, tripier ; poissonnier ; marchand des quatre-saisons. Cuisinier, cuistancier [arg. mil.], cuistot [fam.] ; vx : communard, entremettier, garde-manger, saucier ; fille de cuisine. - Chef, coq ; vx : maître queux. - Cordon-bleu. Fam., péj. : empoisonneur, fricasseur, gargotier, marchand de soupe. Gastronome, gourmet ; fine gueule [fam.]. - Gastrolâtre [rare], gourmand. (c) Larousse. 040315 ... Bonne fete Richard Désolé Richard de ne pas avoir été à ton souper de fête J'avais peur de trop manger de pain Alors voilà mon cadeau, c'est justement ce mot: pain Est-ce vraie qu'à 60 ans les mots en français ne veulent pas dire la même chose qu'en anglais ? 040315 ... knot meat you can't handle the pain. and so you pass it like a hot potato, or else you say it's not happening to me, it's happening to a person who collects comic books, and so you buy a comic book. or else, it's not happening to me it's happening to a person who fucks people, so you fuck your best friend's girlfriend, or you fuck some guy because it's not happening to me, it's happening to someone who's just confused about who and what he wants, so he'll lunge for anything. and so this is how you progress, acquiring the materials that are life. and yet you still haven't answered the question. what now? understanding used to be a curtain hiding a heaven you were so close to, now you have stumbled to where it would only reveal hell, how closed to you it all is. you'll never find answers, out there, outside of the loneliness 040318 ... love & hate Pain, how can a four-lettered word describe a feeling so strong? It is what i feel every moment of every day, when i think of her, think of what i could still have if she let me. Having fallen so deeply in love with someone, only to have it taken away from you in a split second. That is true pain. Having opened your heart and soul to her and having to walk away because thats what she wants. That is true pain. Having her constantly on my thoughts and wishing, hoping she will be there when i open my eyes. That is true pain. Knowing that she loves you but will not do anything about it. That is true pain. Giving up everything you had for her, with her not even noticing. That is true pain. Her making me so happy that i constantly cry. That is true pain. Closing my eyes and thinking of her not with me. That is true pain. Thinking of our hands entwined in a never-ending love but realising there is only one. That is true pain. Having found the love of your life and having her turn her back on you. That is true pain. Knowing she thinks of you as much as you think of her. That is true pain. Knowing all her feelings for you still exist but with her not wanting to show them. That is true pain. Feeling alone and helpless in a world that was created to destroy us. That is true pain. Being here without you by my side, without being able to look into your eyes, without being able to hold your hand, without being able to kiss your sweet lips, without being able to feel your entire body through my fingertips, without you doing what you heart wants you to do. That is true pain. Living is not painful, but without you, i am not alive, i simply exist, walking round like i have a meaning, a purpose to life, pretending everything is fine, pretending i am happy, having to smile, having you ignore my every attempt, having my heart ripped out unneccessarily, being so far away from you, not able to touch you, not able to smell you, not able to taste you. That is true pain. My life is the definition of true pain. without you, i dont live, i dont even exist, i am just here, waiting for the right time to finish what i started, what you saved me from on many occasions, just to tell me to do it again. To slice that arm, to tear that skin, the rip into that flesh that you once touched, once held, once loved, once had. But you wont, you wont be there when i open my eyes and discover what i have once again become without you. Pain is ineviatable, pain from a person who feels too deeply, pain from a person who is in love, pain from a person deprived of that love for unknown reasons, pain from an innocent child, battered, bruised and scarred. Pain that encompasses me, pain that flows through my blood, through my thoughts and through my actions. If i stop my pain, it will cause others pain. Is that selfish? Was it selfish to love you, to want you, to need you? Was that selfish, or was it inevitable. What has love done to me? Love turned into pain, the pain of not having you, not holding you, not kissing your lips. The pain of loosing a loved one, the pain of parting with an entwined soul. The soul that saved you, that still can save you, but not just so blood is not on their hands, but because they want to, because they love you, because they need you. Because they need to feel you, taste you, touch you, smell you, hear you. You know what i want, even though i dont really understand. My precious angel, only save me if that is what you want, not what you have to do. If it is what you have to do, i dont want to be saved, let me finally end it after all my failed attempts. After all this pain i feel. You only know the half of it. Yes, i do open my heart to you, but still, you only hear what you want to hear, you dont hear what really is there, the longing, the needing, how strong it really is. You cant even begin to comprehend what i feel, you think you know, you know some of it, just scratching the surface. Like that blade i used to use. Leaving only a mark, a scar, permanently on your skin. Like that knives that i gave to you to stop me from doing it. Now it is you using the knives to cut me, i can feel them, i can feel you dragging them along my bare flesh, feel them pressing against my once soft skin, feel the blood oozing out, feel the life draining from me, feel the lights go dim, feel the darkness that surrounds me now, without you. I feel it katie, i do. If this is your purpose, then you have completed it. But i know its not, i know you dont want this to happen, you think there is no other option, you are tired of me, tired of my love, tired of my feelings. Use your heart, not your head. See what you are doing, realise that you dont want that, realise that you want what i want most of all, the thing that comes before wanting to die, wanting it to end. Wanting you, wanting us to be together again, to be happy, without sorrow, without everyone else. Just us, can you do it? I know you can, it is whether you want to, that is the true question. Tell me please, before it is too late, tell me you want it to, then we can do it together. We can live together, we can laugh together, we can make passion together, we can make love together, we can exist together, then we can die together. But please, dont be too late, dont leave it too long like last time, because this time i know, i know i can do it, i know what will work, i know what will drown my pain, drown my sorrow. Make it all dissapear permanently rather than temporarily. You know what i am capable of just as i know what you are capable of. This is not a threat, just my thoughts, so i have not only opened my heart to you, my soul to you but now my mind. That is all i have to offer. This is it, this is the end. Everyone knew this would be what it came to, everyone secretly knew i wasnt strong enough, everyone knew how strong my feelings are for you, everyone knew i would end like this. They just didnt know when. Now you do. You now know another thing that they don't. I love you. Goodbye. 040419 ... iaios wow. this blathe is gonna take a long time to load. pain is real. pain is different to everyone real pain, the kind that swells in your heart, should never be wished upon someone. pain has two sides it hurts at the time then it sleeps but it's still there. and it will surface occasionally, when you let it. and I can't work out if I should let it come, and be done with it, or if i should just carry on supressing it. can I supress it forever? will it dissappear? does it need to be negated by something good? if I let it out will it just get worse? who knows. pain is painful. 040428 ... ethereal =Dax! 040428 ... sleeve I cut. I'm a cutter, I admit it. I'm not sorry. It's a release of the pain, it's a physical release of something internal. The scars are there for a reason, they're there to remind me, so I never forget that pain needs to be dealt with, it cannot be covered up, stifled, bottled up. It must be faced, head on. You need to feel it, in all its intensity in order to get through it. You need to stare it in the face to find the root of it. I can never forget that pain, and that's why I have the scars. 040503 ... iNsEcUrE_GoTh_GiRl . 040503 ... Natalie And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom, through the awful grace of God. - Aeschylus 040507 ... _alone & lost_ Physical pain is nothing compared to emotional pain of the soul. 040521 ... _alone & lost_ the pain seems so far away.... so distant, and unreal. but my soul is crying, and my stomach is churning. that is the only real pain. this blood isn't real. 040603 ... silver tears i had so much but what you wrote and how i smiled 040608 ... JustOnMonday you don't know real pain until you have caused it. You can't hurt me, but you can hurt yourself. Now, how do feel? 040623 ... D Pain is a form of interaction that helps you understand yourself. 040714 ... BeautifulDyzaster Cut me so I can bleed let me feel the pain that I won't give to you I don't want to hurt you don't want to hurt anyone why can't you understand I like the pain but I don't like it in your eyes I hate it in your eyes can't stand to see it staring back at me a reflection of my own so I give it myself cutting myself to pieces to make sure I can still bleed because when I find out I can I have to remember I am still alive 040918 ... Tea reality. truth. 041018 ... suicidalchinadoll is defining. even YOU have to admit that... 041019 ... kelsey The pain was caused by you, but it is my fault for letting you in. 041020 ... Syrope yep. 041029 ... jessica I wish i could cry your tears for you So you would never have to feel pain. I wish i could breathe this air for you So your body is not contained. 041206 ... jessica I wish i could cry your tears for you So you would never have to feel pain I wish i could breathe this air for you So your body is not contained 041206 ... briar pain is a mental thing not a physical thing. I have learn't to block out most pain... Comes in handy when I cut myself. 041207 ... Some dude you dont know ill cut a vain , just let me go threw my pain its just insane that my scars are as big as a plane . . . . It's just pain 041215 ... orchid our bed is too big cold empty and I simply cannot sleep through the pain tonight 041215 ... blown cherry orchid says it well. I've been awake since 5am. Evidently there is no rest for the wicked, or the bereaved. Pain fuelled by anger at least gives a powerful surge of control, even if it's borderline mania. Pain fuelled by sadness is nothing but a pathetic display of human helplessness. And what a pathetic heap of organic materials I am today. 041216 ... chrity There is so much pain the murderer has gone free the truth - ignored Lord GOD give me faith! I have faith in God... I wish I could see the end of the pain 041217 ... phil I fucking love pain. 050106 ... Dengarm Do you know the feeling when you just want to scream at the top of your lungs until all the hurt goes away? But when you try breath comes out straining like you are screaming, but no sound emerges. Then the frustration and futility overwhelms you and you just want to cry out every regret. But you can’t something inside is blocking the emotional release valve and all you can feel is the pain hollowing out your torso, making room for more of misery’s companions. All you want at this point is to stop feeling, stop thinking. Just Stop. You try to sleep but your thoughts won’t leave you alone, they demand that they be heard. They must let you know precisely how horrible a person you are and every action you have taken, or not taken, that makes you not worthy of life. They tell you specifically why no one will ever love you and why everyone you like abandons you and everyone makes jokes at your expense. All this just makes you want to cry out in pain, release a primal howl to drown out the voices. But by now there is so much pain inside you multiplying exponentially like bacteria on a rotting slab of meat that, even if you could cry, you would never be able to let enough out to stop it from eventually consuming you. You just want to lie down and die. Anything to escape form the inevitability of the overriding pain extinguishing your will to live? No? Oh. Yeah, uh, me neither. 050110 ... trust tree always ends 050110 ... tyler i make the change i stop the pain i hurt myself for everything the pain i with which i must deal wish it was unreal i want it gone so i can feel i hate this life the pain it brings just cause for strife and fuck feelings 050420 ... tyler my pain is healing, slowly, but surely. i cant wait until not only my inside but also my outside fully heals 050420 ... tyler i want it to heal faster 050420 ... tyler g when i feel only pain, i wish for numbness, and when i feel only numbness, i wish for pain 050420 ... nina Whenever I hear her speak, something strikes my heart. Sometimes it feels like thousands of needles dashing into it, other times, I want to feel life-less. It pains me to even look at her face now. She doesn't know about the damage caused to me. If only she would go away, but then again, I hope I would just leave. There would be less trouble then; she likes my older brother better anyway. She doesn't care about me one bit, just yelling at me constantly. Whenever I run into her, she has something bad to say. She starts screaming...that bitch. She wants me gone, I know it. I will probably just leave sooner or later because of her. After about two more times that she does, I'm just going to think about running away forever (not like I haven't). I lost my love for her, now it is only like. I think I'm just staying here for a roof over my head right now. 050420 ... nina there is no one word to describe the pain i am in. i just wish it would go away for i cannot live with it for much longer... 050421 ... next to Nobody i want sharp and hard so i can ignore the deep and squirming 050421 ... grendel starts in my teeth qnd creeps along the neural pathways until i feel like that guy whose nail-gun backfired into his face. hmm, how many teeth is this gonna cost me? yarrgh. 050421 ... tyler everybody, it gets better i promise 050429 ... *Amy* the pain I feel when I see you is one of the most horrible feelings I`ve ever had. see you and having you beside me, knowing I`m not going to be with you ever more. 050429 ... sirflaccid This is like some kind of horrible car wreck. You look..... hoping that in no way are you connected to this tragedy. It is the most gruesome site you have ever witnessed. However, for some reason, you can't look away. You think about the pain, the people, their loved ones, and the circumstances. Praying that in some way, something good will come of it. You know that somehow, someone was at fault. Then your heart takes over and compassion ensues. The true pain comes when you see a familiar face, and learn they were the one that put themselves in harms way. 050430 ... anomalous fibromyalgia 050430 ... ? Liana I felt it again the other day while wrapped up in a book What it was at first I didn't know but I only had to look. I got up then to fetch my coat I couldn't stay there now My tears made everything a blur but I made it there somehow. I felt the liquor burn my throat mascara down my cheek I didn't hear when they said "What's wrong?" I had never felt so bleak "What's wrong?"the voice spoke yet again and this time I looked up "Lose someone?" (said with sympathy) I just stared at my cup. But deep inside I withered and shrank Of all the things they could have said! But realized they only meant to be kind so I smiled and shook my head. "I don't have anyone to lose." the words echoed in my mind and with horror I realized I'd said it outloud the bartender stared as though I'd gone blind. "Aw now miss there's got to be someone you love!" as the pain came rushing back that horrible feeling called loneliness and the sense of support that I lack Yes what I wanted now more than anything else was a friend right there by my side to hold my hand and say comforting words but I didn't have that so I lay my head down and cried 050801 ... ? Liana I felt it again the other day while wrapped up in a book What it was at first I didn't know but I only had to look. I got up then to fetch my coat I couldn't stay there now My tears made everything a blur but I made it there somehow. I felt the liquor burn my throat mascara down my cheek I didn't hear when they said "What's wrong?" I had never felt so bleak "What's wrong?"the voice spoke yet again and this time I looked up "Lose someone?" (said with sympathy) I just stared at my cup. But deep inside I withered and shrank Of all the things they could have said! But realized they only meant to be kind so I smiled and shook my head. "I don't have anyone to lose." the words echoed in my mind and with horror I realized I'd said it outloud the bartender stared as though I'd gone blind. "Aw now miss there's got to be someone you love!" as the pain came rushing back that horrible feeling called loneliness and the sense of support that I lack Yes what I wanted now more than anything else was a friend right there by my side to hold my hand and say comforting words but I didn't have that so I lay my head down and cried 050801 ... *Amy* Faithfull solitude Now, that I can see the things the way they really are; now, that I can`t wait to see you under the sun; He looks so cold when he`s passing by my side; he looks so alive that makes me want to live. Would it be so faithfull the solitude, that it would keep me long nights awake, would it be so faithfull solitude that would do anything to stay with me. If I never talk to him is because I don`t know what to say, so how can I explain to him the way that I`m feeling. Why can`t I overcome my inhibition? maybe because fear is looking after my heart. I`ve never understood why life made me this way, maybe that is why you are not by my side, when I want to be with you I just turn my imagination on. Would it be so faithfull the solitude, that it would keep me long nights awake, would it be so faithfull solitude that would do anything to stay with me. 050802 ... sic an interesting filter through which to experience reality. And it's getting old... 050806 ... Barefoot Revolutionary oh my god. i can't understand it. how can he love someone else? i feel sick. i feel like the pills aren't kicking in quick enough. i feel like i should say goodbye to someone but i won't. i feel like i should leave a note, but i won't. everyone will get it. im just not strong anymore. i can't keep doing this. im in so much pain. it's all i feel. all i know. i just cant do it anymore. i just want to be free. heaven or hel or nothingness...anything is better than this. anything at all. 060320 ... evilpunkrawker no pain, just numbness. no anger, just regrets. no love, just obsession. wanting something i can never have. knowing that, i'm still trying. 070418 ... wish you were me is my pleasure is my pain 070523 ... so sorry The word is pain...I have another word for it...love 100124 ... unhinged love_is_pain impermanence 100124 ... no reason so much pain, so little explanation 110620 what's it to you? who go blather from