nerves splinken rubbed raw. [get off the cross, you're wasting the wood] 030623 ... Soma These days she makes me anxious. Sorry. Wait. I should say - These days I make myself anxious thinking of her. I'm so overcome by concern. The right of her hurt or suffering sends me skyrocketing over the edge. Plummeting to a place where stomach clenches and I lose my appetite and my voice. Me. The stress_eating loudmouthed friend. Strange, the things that our brains do for other people. I've been shaking for three hours, already. "Fight or flight" says the doctor. I've never been a fighter. I know what I want. It's always to run. But not for her. So I'm shaking in indecision. I'm out of Xanax again. Sometimes I think about just taking the whole bottle. I just want this feeling gone so badly. I understand her more when she talks about wanting to rip herself apart. This feeling drives me insane. All these little white nerves running currents to my body- nerves_of_silver instead of nerv s_of_steel. I wish I could tone it down. 190610 ... unhinged mine have always been hyperactive 190610 ... unhinged and it doesn't help that i am currently being stalked by a crow outside my apartment...now i REALLY don't want to leave the house 190612 what's it to you? who go blather from