anthony singintomymouth Anthony is the one I love. Although it seems ridiculous at times. 011126 ... ClairE Ant is my best friend. I admire him heartily. If only I could relax. But if I ever took his advice, what would he have left to say to me? I can't listen to him laugh forever. 011126 ... ClairE nice_guys always keep me coming back for more. it's so refreshing to have an uncomplicated_guy (well, at least not_complicated in the sense that girls_are_complicated) for a best_friend. although it can be aggravating, too (especially if you are a complicated_girl). 011130 ... u know who a kid i know 040218 ... the great pretender is a stranger to me. then, now & forever. 050124 ... unhinged brings out the joy in me (and our music together rocks. hopefully there will be a myspace soon) 071009 ... unhinged it's over i can't deal house_of_cards 080218 ... no reason my old drum teacher. he was playing in my dream last night. weird. maybe i should go see him play again... 080219 ... stork daddy patron saint of the lost. 080219 ... unhinged he was my saint when i was lost but i'm not anything special to him at least not as special as he is to me 080219 ... stork daddy you can never know what's in the inscrutable mind of saints. 080219 ... unhinged 'you are like a sister to me' definitely not as special to him as he is to me 080219 ... unhinged last night was a reaffirmation baffling hos stand on the bar stop harassing people like hood rats the backseat of matt's car duck_and_cover cut_and_run dance party at the after party ( instant_smiles) move on up - curtis mayfield accordion oratory cut the crap yes, you are my favorite (leos - got 'em tattooed on my ass) 080405 ... unhinged 'i got it. i know who you remind me of. you are like seth green's bad ass older brother.' 080405 ... unhinged yep still want to grab you to me and keep you all for myself 080425 ... unhinged ugh i can't i can't be the third wheel i can't be part of the family i can't pretend it doesn't bother me that i'm your friend your second sister unfairly i always end up in this place where seemingly out of nowhere i freak cause how would you know if i don't tell you? but why would i tell you when i already know how you feel? unfairly i'm always stuck in this place i don't want to be your friend i just want to be your lover denial it's my house_of_cards and meanwhile i will give you my tickets to fund your date cook you dinner when you can find the time for me give you free lessons when you ask i'm tired i wish i could tell you how tired i am of you of us of what i am to you unfairly tired of being independent tired of being alone tired of your pity but you couldn't know cause i never told you what_you_meant_to_me 080702 ... unhinged don't_say_the_thought_never_crossed_your_mind i was afraid this would happen to us the same thing i always let happen because i'm too afraid to say it i think you might be with this one for awhile cause she's worth being with for awhile unlike me apparently just let me, us, our music slip away join another band find a girl that makes you walk funny the next day damn dude i don't even know how to tell you cause it doesn't seem fair to say it now how it hurts me to be without you 080719 ... unhinged (but i have been reminded very recently of something i learned and then forgot; boys want girls to boss them around. tell them what to do and when to do it; how to breathe, move, eat, live, dress, sleep. and i won't be that girl. which leaves me perennially alone. it's strange really, as much as guys bitch about naggy bossy girls, that is exactly what they want. and it is not my nature to be the boss or to be bossed) so i don't really need to ask you the questions other than to be confrontational which i'm not really. cause i already know the answers. you need what i'm not. but regretfully, painfully, i need what you are. 080723 ... unhinged sad_but_true beautiful_snarls i was reading white_oleander today and a passage reminded me that the way i feel right now about you always feels like the end of the world, like forever. but it's just a moment. eventually, it will fade. but i miss you i miss me and you i regret what i should have said i regret what i didn't say and i wish it was this time last year when we were closer when i was the happiness in your life when the raindrops on my porch roof reminded you of thailand when you threw the chair at my neighbors house for throwing water balloons at us when we carried the buffet down the street when i told you about joseph_and_i and couldn't help but cry i miss you but i can only make beautiful_snarls at you because it's all past now unfairly i'm not really all that in your present and i'm not the kind of kick and scream don't think i don't notice the bounce she puts in your step so painful for me i have other things to practice now 080810 ... unhinged 'you'll always have a place in my heart' but not the place i want gag me gag me with a fucking spoon 080811 ... unhinged what am i going to do without you? 090906 ... unhinged (and when you come back to town you always make the time to at least call i didn't have time the last time you called) 100305 ... unhinged happy birthday boodhi the older i get the more i realize the time i spent with you writing music cruising in the boat sleeping on the couch may just be some of the best moments of my life 120811 ... unhinged you were sleeping on my floor this morning. i snuck a peek at you before i left for work. you didnt exactly look peaceful. seeing you on stage last night made me jealous. seeing you on stage last night made me miss making music with you. you are a big reason i dont stay friends with people i date. i am well aware of how painful the grey area is between lover and friend 140713 what's it to you? who go blather from