sleep jade ...the default state of conciousness. not the cushy, dreamy type you experience in your flannel nightie cuddling with your pillow, but a torpid awareness overlaid with daydreams and attachments, desires and needs, worries and fears, that distract most of us from each pregnant moment. sleep ...contrasting with wake. 980906 ... college kid better than homework. 980924 ... Caine Relativity at it's cruelest. Nature, seeing the potential for a punchline, gives us eight hours of relaxation every day and then makes us unconscious for the duration. 981124 ... k what i should be doing at one am. or something. 981126 ... Danny I'm totally alone, totally without control, totally vulnerable, yet it is the most comforting place in the world. 990209 ... leslie Sometimes it is so tempting, other times I try to avoid it. 990530 ... suzan will take my inhibition/ dreams will tear away tradition/ and make me what i want to be/ or break my chains and set me free. 990604 ... jules is so good. and is even better when someone is sleeping beside you. 990615 ... Torpid Angel The one time when dreams take over and freedom lies just out of your reach 990622 ... nik ... is a reward for all the good things done in a day. and my bed is the cloud upon which i slumber. 990827 ... pablo drift me off to sleep, my soul to awaken and travel free of the constraints of conciousness. the demons and the angels come out now, fighting wars amongst themselves as i float from cloud to cloud, blisfully unaware. i see you, i see me, i see everything i've ever wanted. what dreams may come, let them; dreams are windows to the soul, the soul a window to your being. 990927 ... Nikolai What I should be doing right now instead of aimlessly browsing this site... 991109 ... scott sleep you are overwhelmed even thought you dontthink you are, fall hit the grown and do not come back to your feet untill you are abel to relize what you are doing and after that stop. 991115 ... jennifer Girl is over at Boy's house, visiting for some reason. It is early in the morning, possible 6 or 7 am. Boy, just stepped out of the shower, in semi-rumpled clothes, notices Girl still sleeping in his bed. Girl is obviously enjoying sleep. He instantly becomes quiet, moving slowly to the side of the bed. He moves in very close to Girl's face, almost as if to kiss her. He waits, but she doesn't open her eyes. He pokes her once in the cheek, still no response. He slowly moves to the foot of the bed, pulling back the covers from her feet, he is almost about to tickle them… Girl: "Do you want to die?" Boy: "Not particularly, but you have to get up." Girl (looks at clock, groans): "Shit, God isn't even up at this hour." Boy laughs. Girl: "Jee-sus, what perked you up this morning? Rock Hudson marathon on E!? Or did you really sell your soul?" Boy: "You'll never know, now get up." Boy sits down next to Girl on bed. Girl: "Fuck off, you." (Pulls the pillow over her head) Boy bounces on the bed, trying to annoy her to the point were she has no choice but to get up. Girl: "You'd better cut that out. Wouldn't want your mother to think we were fucking up here, now would we?" Boy: "She'd be delighted just to know that you were sleeping in the same bed with me last night" Girl: "You told her?" Boy: "Yes, and I referred to you as the 'daughter-in-law'. Any problems?" Girl (flips him off): "No wonder she hates me." Boy (pulling at the covers): "No she doesn't. Now, come on, we are going to be late" Girl: "Then go, I have my own car. I'll come when I'm awake." Boy: "And when will that be?" Girl: "Quarter till tomorrow." Boy (lays across her, still on the bed): "Don't disappoint me. Come one, get up." Girl (struggling to breathe): "And how am I supposed to do that if you're on me? Get off!" Boy moves, and Girl slides out from under the covers. She is dressed in a long t-shirt (we assume one of his) and nothing else. Long, tan legs stick out from the hem of the shirt. She rubs her eyes, yawns. Boy: "You look like shit, you know" Girl: "No thanks to you. How can you get up this early in the morning and still look sexy?" Boy: "It's a gift." Girl: "Where are the towels? I need a shower" Without waiting for a response, she heads to the bathroom, still in a sleepy daze, and he watches her go, with almost interest in his eyes. 991209 ... theunrighteous1 THE BEST THING EVER 991209 ... nameless is there more to it jennifer? 991218 ... cold tea the suspense is killing me 991219 ... king kai the one place where i can see you again - the one place where things can be even more unexpected than what they are in real life 000102 ... jennifer never knew anyone was interested, but, yes, there is always more... 000103 ... jay gordon i find sleeping naked is SO much better than sleeping with clothes on - if you are ever presented with the opportunity to sleep naked - i highly recommend it 000103 ... king kai i hate to admit it - but - mr gordon is completely right - sleeping naked far surpasses all other types of sleeping - it's similar to ferris bueller's driving experience with cameron's dad's ferrari 000104 ... deb hush now, my baby.. be still, love, don't cry.. sleep as you're rocked by the stream sleep and remember my last lullabye and i'll be with you when you dream genty, flow gently, river, for me what precious cargo you bear there is a harbor where he can be free river, deliver him there... (stuck within the fissures of my mind today... such a beautiful but sad song...) 000104 ... Q besides play, sleep together and awake from it 000104 ... amy there is nothing that i want more for you, and for me. 000104 ... nameless jennifer-im interested 000105 ... crass my heaven and my hell 000123 ... FooLmOOn sleeping - its like the stick in the bush the pop in the corn the tooth in the paste the paint on the brush the words in the book the keys on the board the love in the heart the beat in the song the leaves on the tree the time on the clock the hole in the mat the flea on the dog the FooL on the mOOn 000124 ... sadgoat dreamless, seemless, formless I feel less If death is only a doorway into another life that's cool, but if its just endless sleep that's nice too. Either way I'm fine. At least I won't have to put up with this crap anymore. 000210 ... amaebi heaven in black 000224 ... lotusflower i sometimes look forward to it i don't have to move i lay there quiet pretending i have time before i die. i think of things i could do with my life exciting things. beautiful things. and right before my eyes feel heavy i make promises to myself. 000224 ... fucked seems only to come to me after i've taken depressants. 000224 ... Brad Something of which molly is deprived. "Peels sleep" is a pallindrome. Wow, Cool. 000310 ... jennifer nameless-look for $15 000327 ... rabbit of the morning when i was a kid, i used to fall asleep on the couch and then wake up in my bed. cradled in my father's arms asleep, that is how i go through life. 000415 ... somebody the question of reality, what is really the dream, what you see now, or what you return to when you close the eyes you think your using now? or are there theoretically more than just the two eyes we see with, why do we say "i see" when we understand? perhaps sleep is simply the rest we receive to rejuvenate ourselves, or more so, the rest we take in to remind us that we should be as happy if not happier when we are awake, unless our actions prevent us from doing so...but then that's our fault. sleep should be dissapointing, almost half of our 32,000 days of life taken by it, we should almost feel, except that it lets us rest, that it's a waist of time...why not make your life more enjoyable, so that sleep is just that, sleep. 000417 ... MollyCule it's a sure sign of sleep deprivation when you find yourself at 10 am watching a ten year old episode of 90210 which features Color Me Badd and you start thinking "wow, Color Me Badd was a rilly good band. I wonder why they never got any respect?" 000521 ... The Schleiffen (Sleeping) Man an ever-encroaching predator that strikes whether you see it or not... it's chasing me now, but i'll fight it. I must stay up to watch Law and Order. I love that show. But the shadows seep into my brain effortlessly and struggle for power. And they're winning.... 000530 ... WingedSerpent i am awake now. i have been asleep for nearly four years, in some half conscious malaise where i let myself become prey well fuck all that now. 000530 ... sacred blasphemy prraaise the Lord! 000530 ... netcowboy when you sleep, mice eat your brain. no wait, angels wave their wings upon your thoughts 000701 ... Zoe does anyone else ever wish that they could go to sleep and never wake up. i think about it almost daily. i think that i wake up every morning just to go mack to sleep. 000716 ... dishevelled "sleep will not come to this tired body now, peace will not come to this lonely heart" 000722 ... stan Sleep is a husk, throw it off (Goethe) 000731 ... stan Sleep is a husk, throw it off (Goethe) 000731 ... Kami Khazay much better than anything else on this planet, i don't need it to dream, but it helps when they come together, i wish i could just rest a lil' more now 000921 ... kitten on drugs the one place i feel at home, safe and warm and free from worry 001121 ... JBauer Every wonder why school starts so damn early???????? Is it because they hate us, or is it because they don't know it's killing us? I think the answer lies somwhere inbetween... They don't really hate us, it's that they are too fucking lazy to do a damn thing about it. Sleep, I want to sleep for a thousand years underneath my electric blanket while the snow falls softly on the trees beside my window beneath the light of the full moon... I can almost hear my home's furnace working. 001207 ... chanaka is for the weak everyone has to be weak sometimes.... i'm not tired! i push sleep away so i don't have to stare at the ceiling and think of you and everything i have to do tomorrow 001207 ... Bell R No one gets enough, many seek it, but fools such as me avoid it with zeal. 010116 ... deb last night i gave in i caved i'll admit i was so tired ... so sooo tired and i was in bed staring at the cieling listening to bach and my eyelids were stapled open and i couldn't go to sleep- so... ::breaks down in tears:: i broke out the nytol just to get a couple hours- and when i woke, i felt like i had slept 3 hours- usually, i feel like i never slept at all- but i caved and that's the sad sad point 010116 ... chanaka i got my feet on the ground and i don't go to sleep to dream you got your head in the clouds and you're not at all what you seem this mindless body and this voice can not be stopped by your deviant ways so don't come around, i've got my own hell to raise sleep to dream (fiona of course) 010117 ... ME i love sleeping it is more than a physical need oversleeping is more than indulgence it is escape retreat into a warm world where the pain isn't as real, it turns into PINK triangles on the ceiling i don't remember ever having a dream where i say something stupid or stand uncomfortably under florescent(sp?) lights, trying to keep everything that i am from spilling out,instead I move around freely in dreams, there is this feeling of warth and acceptance in them, almost like a really close, sincere hug 010119 ... god nightmare neverending, increasing 010130 ... myfingersmells sleep and look up at the ceiling and what do u see look a little closer and it looks right back at you at you at you AT YOU and no one else... this means youre alone staring at the ceiling not knowing why... so you think to yourself "should i close my eyes sleep" and it answers... "BUT WILL YOU WAKE...?" 010208 ... vampers youre troubles away only to wake up with new ones 010324 ... rlzp Sometimes I wish this would make everything go away. To wake up and have everything be the way it should. To feel the things I wish I could have the day before. Sometimes I wish I could stay here. 010401 ... abms never comes to me easily and when it does it haunts me. demons of my past in nightmares torment me. always...... i can never escape 010405 ... devotchka one of the few things worth skipping class for 010405 ... Teddybear Sleep? There is so much in this world!!! You can sleep when you're dead 010405 ... nocturnal can't really appreciate it then, can ya? 010405 ... shak is what i should be doing right now! 010405 ... carden the best thing in the world. though i think 9 hours of sleep isn't enough. i can hardly function if i get less than 9, i'm strange..or so it seems 010406 ... No Bod - E I haven't had sleep in days. Over eight now; I think I won't ever sleep again. I try as hard as possible but can't sleep for any more than an hour. Reality is difficult to maintain. I have to tell myself when I see something, whether it's real or not. I haven't eaten in three days. I don't know what's wrong with me. It probably has something to do with that girl. She took it all away. Now, my insomnia has taken over my life; strangest thing is that I feel so very awake and in such dire need of sleep all at once. Maybe I'm dying? 010409 ... nocturnal "I haven't slept for ten days, cuz that would be too long." -Mitch Hedberg 010409 ... uglyduckling my only relief from reality. So tired. Tired of work, tired of people, tired of life. Sometimes I think that none of it matters. Friends, money, work, school. If time is eternal, then what we believe to be random chaos is in fact just another cycle in the nature of the universe, that our simple minds are just too feeble to grasp. So on this principle, I started losing any motivation I had to do anything. What's the point to life then? I can't seem to find one. It reminds me of that song, "Que sera, sera. Whatever will be, will be... " Sleep, where I know nothing, realize nothing, am nothing. The oblivion that comes with my sleep. Sometimes I do dream, but dreams are always detached and quickly forgotten when I awake. Perhaps my existence is a dream? Someday I will sleep, and it will be forever, it's the only thing I'm looking forward to, the only thing left for me 010415 ... Denna "In the middle of the night, head on my pillow, looking like a little ghost. Seems like all of the things, that you gave me, mother, have all gone up in smoke. In the middle of the night, you don't know what I'm thinking, but still the stars just sparkle and shine. Seems like all of the time, our boat was slowly sinking, you didn't even seem to mind. Now all I want to do..... is sleep. Now all I want to do.... is sleep. Now all I want to do... is sleep." -Garbage 010416 ... focus i can only imagine what it would be like to sleep next to her. to feel her breathing down my neck while i lay awake. i can only imagine the comfort i'd feel. i'd stay awake all night just to feel her arms areound me. just to know she was there. 010417 ... Jenn Sleep never happens around here....architects are insane.... 010422 ... abms always comes with a regret or fear 010422 ... carden soporific 010423 ... flo eight hours is enough to let the dreams repair the holes that life has torn in my head. 010426 ... melvinwang for me, it keeps the holes drilling, maybe i need more of them 010505 ... Lost perchance to dream. 010524 ... CinnamonGirl to dream (fiona apple) 010604 ... crystal i woke up fryday morning at 7 o'clock i went 2 skool & then 2 this party there was mad glass there my favorite i bought sum didn't sleep saturday came & my friends bought sum didn't sleep sunday came & we all bought sum more didn't sleep monday came & i'm at skool i hav not slept i hope i can sleep 2nite 010605 ... kingsuperspecial eludes me gears rip day into tidbits to be pieced back together endlessly a dreary kalidescope of what who why rather than do nothing and not sleep there's lots to do instead but I can't help but think I should at least give it a try. poor heart 010612 ... nemo i cant sleep, can you? 010612 ... monadh rarely when I should 010612 ... Fire&Roses There were times like now when I should. I should close my eyes and drift away... perfection. You are almost here almost next to me almost pale skin and tan skin twined in comfort, but never quite. Even in dream state, even unconscious perfection escapes me and reality overshadows my non exsistence 010723 ... echo with some one behind you with there arm over you, feeling their breath on your back, ahhhh the most comforting thing in the world 010824 ... Jenna I love sleeping, because like most things in life, it's one of those things you don't appreciate until you don't have it anymore. I can only really rest in day. Night is full of worry, staring at my ceiling. Wondering: When will I get that assignment done? When am I going to be able to pay them? When if ever will I be kissed? Am I wasting precious youth away? ...and so many more questions rage through my head until I get up and come over here and write to you. Then I lie back down, and stare until dawn, when sleep comes too easy... 011012 ... translucent fuck. its two in the morning, and i cant sleep. i would watch a movie and probably fall asleep to that, but there is nothing i want to watch. shit. fuck insomnia. computers dont help. i should just walk away from the computer or i will stay here until four o'clock. so, this is my goodnight message to you all. dont let the bedbugs bite. 011027 ... sabbie the little death. how goth & angsty .:nails hand to forehead:. 011102 ... Chiller goodnight, sweetdreams... you can't spell sweet without wet... shout outs to those who i love... (you know who you are) 011122 ... piercedjenny its funny. i used to go to sleep and be angry that I fell asleep and missed something. I then got to the point I was only sleeping 3-4 hours a night, and less than that when I was taking E or any of the other drugs I tried and swore I wasn't addicted to. I'm clean now, more fucked up than ever before, and have slept about a half hour in 11 days. now that i've been up all this time I can tell you -- you don't miss much when you sleep, except for all the voices in your head, and the fucked up things you don't need to know about. i would give anything to just sleep forever. 011202 ... ClairE See blather_addiction. 011203 ... shiva i need to wake up at 9. i suck. 011203 ... ClairE I think nine sucks, personally. Not you. 011203 ... shiva well, 9 is optimistic. more like 9:50. work at 10. and i have been skipping lately. 011203 ... ClairE "I may get six hours tonight. Five is not enough. Six is," ClairE thought as she made her way back from the bathroom. 011203 ... bzzmel if i could i would 011207 ... jon I would love to know why I can fall asleep so easily in front of the television, then awaken to make the short journey to my bed, where I lie awake for hours, trying desperately to fall back to sleep. 011207 ... ClairE Damn_you, just when I turn back to you, possessed by what you promise, you leave me. Claire is tired. 011210 ... Annie111 Is a cocoon Reminds me of warm soup And childhood Is probably the only thing I would consent to doing non-stop forever. 011211 ... ClairE An addiction. 011212 ... bird (hes mad i tell you - - - MAD!) so relieved to finally fall asleep last night and get a whole five and a half hours i tried to drink myself to sleep saturday night and only succeeded at making an asshole of myself, the end result of which only caused me to lose more sleep all in all, i managed to get by on six hours total sleep in a span of five days i could hear the alley cats running across my roof in the night and my neighbors doves and pigeons in their roost staring at the ceiling long enough, i think, can and will likely cause insanity 011212 ... birdmad (nuttier than chinese chicken salad) maybe later, eventually. 011213 ... ALF its one of those strange things that only happens when you're not in the mood 011214 ... Toxic_Kisses I hardly got any last night Wasn’t that I didn’t try mind you it's simply that I couldn’t sleep, weather I was under the covers or on top of the covers, weather I was clothed or nude, weather I was snuggling w/ my guy or laying near his toes w/ my feet agents the wall I simply could not sleep! I got home @ 4(AM) and it's now 7:10, I think maybe I'll try again, maybe the difference I needed was my OwN bed 020121 ... cube Read a few more blathes. ;-) ³ 020121 ... falling aaah, sweet blissfulness which is rarely reached 020209 ... morgan throughout the day waste my life, you say? at least my dreams are kinder. 020212 ... carne de metal five hours at night, 1-3 hours nap in the early afternoon. 020215 ... carne de metal "...To die,-to sleep;- To sleep! perchance to dream:ay, there's the rub;" (hamlet act III scene I) 020215 ... tyler frail kings of old beckoning high upon the towers to two old women. one says, "why do you toil, old woman, when it would be easier on your children if you would die". The woman answered back, "I will not die for you, king, because you are the one who must toil for nothing." At this, the king had both women executed, the first for the statement and the other for loving beauty 020216 ... Daria sleep, ahhh the beauty of it. Appreciate it in math class,that's the best time to get it. unless of course you have someone to sleep with,....now thats a whole nuther cano worms. 020225 ... Wet dream by kip adotta rocks...its about fish Tipping toes, cows, sheep, soft comforters and pillows like people you wish were there. Lonely nights, pasionless in that hazy way, forgotten every morning as dreams fall away and only stains remain. 020307 ... bloodshot red eyed birdmad sometimes i sleep, sometimes i don't old morpheus is a random bastard when it comes to visiting my chamber 020307 ... Mahayana toDay i just wanna do it all day long just 2 get away [a nice little vacation] 020314 ... lycanthrope The covers twisted involuntarily around my legs, leaving a strange sensation, a vagueness, an inability to tell which layer of what i was touching. It felt cool, almost as cool as the air, and i pumped my legs furiously as if on an invisible bicycle to become warm. I've never done'anything creative wnile doing this, i've never imagined winning "the tour de france, or riding naked across a boardwalk and eating cotton candy on the first bike ever invented. As a matter of fact, or remembrance rather, the expression on my face while i do this is most likely quite...well devoid of expression, humorously devoid in contrast to my furiously pumping legs. One part of my body so commited, ludicrously involved, and "the other so detached not even interested enough to watch. Finally the warmth starts to come and now i make small cooing noises, instinctual snuggle markers. To let everything_and anything in earshot know, that here lies a comfortable person, here is a person who is willing to face anything, so long as it does not disrupt his accelerating drowse into sleep. I am on my side, facing the wall, in a neo fetal position, my legs are under their own weight, my knees pressing against each other, a painful allignment of the hips, but i am too tired to move. I wait for the ache to chase me into sleep, but it pulls on my mind like a pair of pliars, like a leash. I start to turn slowly, the covers and sheets enwrap themselves tightly, slip off into freezing nothing, I turn back. In one swift motion, i fling myself into the air using only the muscles of my back and buttocks, and i turn, the covers are barely displaced. I start falling asleep again. The world around me becomes darker and darker, the material world, which is normally...well what is it? is it dead? which surrounds my bed, becomes more and more alive. Even the bed is now a generous and lavish womb. The surest comfort I've ever known is offered to me not by a poet, or the dalai lama, not by a friend (maybe a special friend though) or a nephew or an adorable kitten who knows just when to jump onto my lap and purr, but by a weighted box, filled with_springs, a cold iron structure-which clangs like music-when you strike it, those bars at the head which when i was young used to compose music on deep into every Saturday morning while pretending i was still asleep, that i didn't hear them call for breakfast, forcing them to come in and find me there languidly stroking my bed's round alligned cool beams likes a lyre. And indeed nothing now can comfort me like it, with its thick cover made of indeterminable materials, composed to an uncurious mind like mine, of sleep itself. My foot beats the rest of me to sleep, is reviled by the body for its capitalistic forgetful ness. Doesn't it know the envoirment we are in right now will not reward its impertinence, this Utopia of my smell, and my colors, this invention beyond invention. I bang my leg against the bed...the sheets respond with a wrinkling, and the mattress gives a thudding springing, a sinking into and a launching out. It's the things we sink into the most deeply that launch us out the most starkly. Like a bed for instance. In another room, a clock sounds twelve distant chimes. Time is motion, each clanging and motion is sound. And I'm already thinking of tomorrow morning, of having to wake up early, of having to go to school. It's definetly taking away from the solemn compassion this moment offers anyways. I've already moved past it in my mind right now, past this slow warm circling atrophy to tomorrow, to the next day, to whole weeks, the prospect of waking up and brushing the teeth and making the bed over and over again. If only you could do them all once. And the thought of tomorrow being a day of waiting for sleep, of not having had enough. They always say that tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life, but what happens if you didn't get enough sleep the night before? Sleep owns philosophy, it squashes ubermunchen and leviathans, and shushes them like an impertinent child who wants to stay up past their bedtime, sings them a lullaby of drifting lights and swirling universe, a song of a dark and endless sky inside and out. And i am all for it. I'm the type of person who needs at least 10 hours a day....and another 6 at night. And then, something actually happens. All of this thinking, fretting has activated a part of me i had saught respit from, had woke a tyrant. A vain Napoleon who write treaties against sleep, when he's well rested of course. Suddenly lines of what could only be poetry are in my mind, reactions to various queries and sights during the day, love letters from myself. And i must get up, turn on the lights to write them down. No surely, they are just the lines that seem at the time to have finally captured it, but they'll just be another unneccessary letdown that does in no way in its words create an image of the world that almost makes themselves seem superflous. It will not do that, it will not create an unspoken matrix of subtext with economic efficiency. No, it will look like somebody racking their brains to complete an assignment, or someone being forced to remember something for an interview. It will not be a testament, an alter to humanity, to nature itself, it will be a reminder of some distance, some isolation from ourselves, from each other, a uselessness, not a connection. Yet, i cannot resist, there is a force in me unhappy with sleep, with food, unhappy with the prospect of children. It wants to make other people's children happy. It wants them to feed off the bags under my eyes like ignorantly blissful vultures. I want to help other people in between eating and sleeping. A foolish byproduct forces me into the bright light of an artificial morning. Leaves my dilated eyes tired and assaulted and at the mercy of another blank page. Another late night alarm clock ringing and ringing like my pulse. 020321 ... blown cherry I am so very tired, and yet I don't go to bed. I should sleep, I need to sleep. But if I go to sleep, that only means I will have to wake up. 020324 ... jane did anybody see "waking life"? 020325 ... yiasku I suspect that "awake" is to "sleep" what "heaven" is to "awake" - a different state of conciousness, a different level of reality. 020429 ... blown cherry waking_life I don't want to go to bed, but all I want to do is sleep, though I'm not tired. Sleep is The Great Escape 020429 ... Qazual You mumbled in your sleep... I heard each whisper on my neck 020505 ... silentbob i'm going now 020507 ... Freak its the only thing I ever want to do. Im always tired and I don't know why. Even on the weekends I get to sleep in but then I just go over to my boyfriends house and fall asleep again. AHHH WHATS WRONG WITH ME! 020508 ... sweetheart of the song tra bong see: pillow_love 020508 ... TK what I really ought to be doing 020518 ... jack-o-lantern baseball sleep will not come to this tired body now peace will not come to this lonely heart there are some things i'll live without but i want you to know that i need you right now i need you tonight i steal a kiss from her sleeping shadow moves cause i'll always miss (her ) wherever she goes and i'll always need her more than she could ever need me i need someone to ease my mind but sometimes a someone is so hard to find and i'll do anything to keep her here tonite and i'll say anything to make her feel alright and i'll be anything to keep her here tonite cause i want you to stay, with me i need you tonite she comes to me like an angel out of time as i play the part of a saint on my knees there are some things i'll live without but i want you to know that i need you right now suffer my desire suffer my desire suffer my desire for you suffer my desire suffer my desire suffer my desire for you for you 020524 ... freakizh awesome corgan song. my eyes hurts. i can only see the color blurple. and people are taking too long to make any comments on my posts. i should leave now. but i won't. sleeping is like breaking the bubble of reason, letting a freepath to insanity, possibilities, the universe. not that i am afraid of. it's just.. i'm too tired to fight myself. 020524 ... oren A great song by Euphoria. Very sensual. 020525 ... the smallest cherry yet I wan't to sleep and sleep forever. I am so tired. I never want to awake, because I know I will never be able to wake happy and safe in your arms. 020529 ... mrcracker a time where i can win if i want. usually tho this time just steals from the time i should be finding u. i would rather u be here close to me as i do this necessary evil. as i lay there put my ear close to your back and listen to you breath. *blink* stop it. just come back home ok? 020530 ... mad insomniac bird has abandoned me 020530 ... artie The evening goes by and i sit here typing blathering for my first time wondering why i can't stop 020603 ... CJ calls me to her sweet rejuvination but I fear that she will not come and I will lay there on my bed waiting for her to consume me and take me away to a far better place and a state of mind allowing me to be happy and in perfect bliss even though I know I only get to dream sweet dreams once in a blue moon 020603 ... erinicolejax I sleep so much lately. I can't seem to get enough. I sleep so much with no one at my side. I'm used to duel breath, so much that I dream of you. I dream of how I would lead you through my dream if I could. But still I dream dream dream alone. I wake up and want to sleep again, because you aren't there. I've been sleeping a lot lately. Searching my own mind alone for what is there. 020604 ... jane i wish i could go to sleep but i have to sit here and wait for you to call me just so i can get some time with you tonight i'm really sick of you blowing me off 020609 ... poeticmisfit Sleep forever, but be awake to die, close your eyes, so you can't cry. Live in your dream, become the unreal, the fantasy of mind, where you can not feel. Nothing to think, life will betray, as the dream goes on, through night and day. THoughts will fall, innocence in death, evil can lurk, with your every deep breath. But you can't feel, you can't hear, how can you be scared? when you can't be there to fear? Runaway to your mind, sainty you don't have to keep, but the first thing has to be to try and get to sleep... 020723 ... Sailor Jupiter I love falling asleep in his arms Snuggled under his dark green comforter and blue patchwork quilt Our faces touching I can feel him breathing Feel his heart beating I feel safe All my problems are melted away I wake up to him moving I crawl over and look at the clock How long did we sleep I fall back to sleep I think his bed is too big to sleep in alone 020723 ... Boymansonbowie i hate to go to sleep because it is so hard for me to do. once i fall asleep, though, i hate the prospect of waking up even more. 020806 ... sailor I wish I could for one moment, slip through the curtain into another faraway world, into the land of dreams, where real things become false, and imagination is the only thing stopping you from what you want to be. 020810 ... sailor I wish I could for one moment, slip through the curtains into another faraway world, into the land of dreams, where real things become false, and imagination is the only thing stopping you from what you want to be. I do not wish for the impossible, because my dreams may take me there. 020810 ... Perspective_Of_Soul Before i sleep, there is my place. Somewhere between my slumber and awakened thought resides a world of utter enchantment.Rolling hills with mist creating dew drops on the blades of grass that are soft under my feet.A large home that has within it, paintings in oils by the unseen, unheard artists that create for their own amusement.A library filled with books of memories, photos of times i thought lost, covered by the dusts of life progression.There are empty books there as well.Awaiting new experiences, new writings, new poetry written by the soul's flowing inks. Outside the home is a hill with a hall at the top decorated with marble and flowing drapes.Abstract images carved with a golden knife, etched into the fragile yet solid bounderies of the large walls.I find some peace in hearing my feet click on the white marble floor, an audible reminder that i am there. Outside are the fountains.One on each side of the pathway spraying into each other with large cascading arcs.Two female statues carved from granite stand in the center, one in each flowing display.One fountain contains sweet water, while the other contains sour.The constant circulation of fluid exchanges evens things out somewhat but i can often hear the ladies bickering as i pass by. Another fountain just beyond it.A large circle of water with a pillar in the centre, rising high.Ontop is a statue of Cupid, the Greek God of Love, bow in hand.Standing in the water below is Psyche, radiantly beautiful she reaches up to him pledging her loyalty and love. Psyche exists there as a monument, but she exists here in this world in the flesh also.Often she is to be seen wandering the hills, her beauty glowing like a soft white hot ember that pierces the night and warms my heart.When she speaks angels sing and her words speak more truth than i could come close to understanding. There is a man here also.His name is unknown to me and that seems fine with both of us.His eyes present within them a wisdom and a knowledge i feel i shall never attain.I find us talking about lots of things but often it is the teaching i find most enjoyable.His genteel nature expressed thoughts i did not have before. Things i never would know about myself are spoken here and for some reason, they are not as bad as they are when i am awake. I cannot spend as much time here as i like for sleep beckons me with a crooked finger, but i would like to. I feel that nothing can come closer to heaven on earth than my very dreams and joys placed before me in a personal display. 020815 ... ~gez~ my second favourtie thing 020830 ... blown cherry I want to put some distance between me and this night before I am forced to again begin another day 021109 ... Reverend Lough is the reason i wake up in the morning....... 021215 ... Reverend Lough is the reason i get up in the morning...... 021215 ... sprhrgrl dreamless 021219 ... girlnamedlover with all the lights on youre not so happy youre not secure 021219 ... sigma just like everyone just like everyone... only i can't sleep. i'm afraid of sleep. i am afraid to sleep because when i will it will be alone, and i am so jealous of those who sleep with visions of love in their head, or with that love in their arms. i want to be held when i sleep. i am afraid of being lonely. i stay up until i am exhausted, avoiding my bed. sleep. what i'm doing now. four hours too late. 030102 ... cRazyCat i try and try, but i can never seem to sleep when its the right time. i stay up all night and have to slide out of bed in the morning because it feels like i have a wieght pressing me down. 030103 ... IWishICouldGoWithDavid One of the things you fell in last night with me. 030104 ... Eowithien Something I love and never seem to get enough of. 030224 ... birdmad none for me for a while now. whirrrrr. double barrel earache. freshly sharpened claws. 030224 ... talking_with_the_truth sleep is a way out of problems, a short moment of peace and an opportunity of forgetting reality for a second. It's the easiest escapatory...i wish were always asleep for it's the only time when i feel i'm alive. Make me live this misery and i miht as well die. 030224 ... abel when i sleep the scapegoats walk through the people of my mind 030311 ... tulip bruises Let your lids drop, Soothed by the dark, I will grace your mind, Whispers the moon, The dream creatures, Dance in strange formality, Don't sleep to dream, Of another lacklustre plane, Sleep to die in bizarre beauty. 030402 ... Bizzar Comes in segments too few and far between. My head is full of thoughts of you, heart full of broken dreams. All I need to be satisfied is to know you think of me. But thats too much to ask, These things will never be. And all I can do is lay and wish that someday you will see. That I can be all youll ever want. Ill be all youll ever need. 030604 ... me the devil tells me to sleep when i need to pray...oh but it's so good 030628 ... Me I can't sleep after a night out with my friends. That suck it's 2:02 in the afternoon.What can I do ? 030706 ... sigma I have not slept well in weeks. I am plagued by nightmares, or I know you don't love me and I cry, delaying sleep. I used to not dream. I miss that. I miss you. I would like to take a nap and feel safe, for a little while. I am so tired, I don't mind lying to myself. 030706 ... crimson the bes kind of sleep is hazy it is on his bedrrom floor warm skin and slow breathing 030723 ... crimson the best kind of sleep is hazy it is on his bedrrom floor warm skin and slow breathing* 030723 ... Sarah The place where I have been the absolute most comfortable and ready to fall asleep wasn't even in my own bed. It was in my best guy friends bed. I just layed there lisening to him talk, and I felt like I belonged there. Everything was perfect. 030817 ... tortuous sleep... you always think i sleep alot and in reality i guess i do sleep in... but thats because i wake up and hate what i see... my true escape. yet i sit here at night. thinking apon my life, the lives of others i'm connected to. how everything plays out and why. why everything has happened, and why everything will happen. i stay awake because i'm afraid to fall asleep. like i'm doing something wrong. 030818 ... whoops *sleep is* my true escape 030818 ... voodoo i want you to want to sleep next to me i stay with you to sleep with you and you fall asleep on the couch i try to wake you even in the middle of the night but there's no waking i feel so lonely sharing the bed with only your dog who's better company than none i guess i might as well sleep at my own house 030819 ... endless desire i always wake up tired. 030819 ... ferret BWAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! 030819 ... kss c'mere, you stingy bastard 030905 ... quotree sleep! that's where i get to be a viking! 030905 ... a girl with nothing to sat something i like to do i sleep very often in the car at school in my bed...with guys 031017 ... sylphide I simply can't sleep for these are the thoughts i keep because of you. My mind is racing like the drub and bass of a squarepusher.. sombre melories repeat over and over like acid that just keeps coming back.. and the erratic beats of my heart flutter in time without ever a sense of ceasing until it's due bar. And up until now, every song has been about you. Andy Clockwise makes me cringe and say it's a typical chiche to my thoughts of you but it's ture. I can't get you out my mind and this is all i can write. The songs i hear, the tune of everyone's soul keep trying to compete with mine. And i can't justiy me. I can't find the lrics, the rhyme or the reason to write about you. I'm stuck . I'm blocked in this universe of happiness.. without a way to release you without a way to reembrace what once was my only avenue. And all i can do is see my life crumbling beofre me. In this sincere, or seemingly sincere manic of mine. This room is eeriely dark and i'm scared of what i can't see. But it had to go up to come down. The elevator of my mind. Who has ever said that i have to go up to down to come up? Who has ever given me the time of day to move me the way i want to move them? To run their fingers through my insides and flutter my veins and my heart srtings like a harp would. To the soul of it's musician ever seeking to find fuidity in moving from one string to another, in these subtle progresions of my mind. 031105 ... white_light I say i hear the songs i hear, keep trying to compete with mine, the tune of everyone else's soul, through these manic voices in my mind I know you're sleeping but i'm awake, and awake feels like longing fades desire. But never mind, i'll deal with this for awhile. And when i breathe i believe that you're awake and you can see that there's no better sound to sleep to. No better sound to fall asleep to. Do you love this dream I'm living? Did you hear my heart transpose? Submit myself to slessor's sleep, savour the lave of sleept-swept prose. Do you give yourself to me utterly, Body and no-body, flesh and no-flesh, Not as a fugitive, blindly or bitterly, But as a child might, with no other wish. And when i breathe i believe that you're awake and you can see that there's no better sound to sleep to. No better sound to fall asleep to. Can we deviate for just a minute? Can i remind you that i love the way you moan for more? Can we have a moments silence? While I sumpuously taste every breath you breathe once more? This is nothing like heaven, this is no where close i think i've found myself in you. 031105 ... a girl with nothing to say i need sleep.... 031123 ... ferret this page makes my eyes hurt, might as well go to sleep. 031123 ... snowfall i want to sleep with her. not have sex, just sleep with her. Wake up in the morning early just to see her eyes closed and a smile across her face. Just to have someone elses skin..smooth and next to mine. Someone who's hair smells like flowers and who's eyes drive me deeper into her arms as we sleep. 040117 ... nick What the hell made him decide to get up with only two hours of sleep! It was a great party the night before, but this morning, when I had to roll out to be sure my guest was well entertained, I was hoping that I would just go unconcious or die or something... If only I could not move for about two more hours. So now he's said his goodbyes, and started the long drive to Kansas City. I was sorry to see him go. . . His visits are always so much fun. As he pulled out of the driveway, I went inside to get a shower, and, twenty minutes later, I am at work. Coffee is making my stomach turn sour. Little aches are holding me in my chair and fatigue is pulling on my eyelids. All I have to is watch... be quiet and watch... Nobody has any questions tonight. Just hang in there, and when I get home... well... I'm sure I'll be up for another long day. Maybe if I had real insomnia I wouldn't want to sleep so bad. Can't stop now though I'm on a roll! 040124 ... june yes, i'd like to sleep i didn't think the time constraints were valid anymore well the ground gave way to sleep 040125 ... pansy it's just a lethal injection divided into tiny dozes that are big enough to carry you on the other side of the brigde 040127 ... pansy it's just a lethal injection divided into tiny dozes that are big enough to carry you on the other side of the bridge 040127 ... no-one 2 hrs every other night, and I'm good. Sleep is not a necessity. 040128 ... hmmpff to sleep doesnt mean to dream. we just happen to intrude on these situations none of us have any real control over because we arent ourselves when we sleep. 040211 ... Weasel Sleep is good 040317 ... Gekiganger 3 i like sleep, a play of an idle mind that alows us to let out sub concience become our consience. to see a dream is to experience another life time another change in our life that could still happen or have happened in another life or how the galaxy could have turned out! 040326 ... kamileon last night i dreamed: someone poisoned the strawberries. Cloud was PISSED. Jesus was homosexual, or maybe bicurious. The Master practiced bestiality, according to the bible of Dr. Who. ...Yeah, fucked up. Sleep is for the weak. Still want it like air though. 040327 ... pete close my eyes and shuttle me in to sleep wrapped in my spare blankie, that is always offered if one should be cold and need it. close my eyes and breath the life of the dreams into my lips and pass me off to sleep. close my eyes and welcome me in your silent, loving arms when i arrive. close your eyes, and i'll meet you there. 040420 ... dudeinanigloo My sleep patterns change a lot during the week. On Monday to Friday, I get up at about 7:10 AM, and on Saturday and Sunday, I get up at about 12 PM. I go to sleep at 10-11 PM during the week, and it changes to 1-3 PM on weekends. So, I have to adjust between patterns every Sunday. That means I'm not tired when I go to bed, and I end up getting about 6 hours of sleep. I hate school. Or at least the getting up early part. I do enjoy my options, but most of the cores SUCK ASS. 040430 ... ethereal That's not early dude. I have to be at school every morning at 7. That requires hauling ass at about 5:30. I'm there every day till at least 5:30 also. (oh for the love of music) Weekend doesn't change too too much, I just stay up later and get up the same time for work. 4 hours of sleep that's the usual number...yeah!! sleep deprivation! 040501 ... Jess What I love more than anything in the world, but can never remember doing! 040513 ... ... gonna sleep another day. I am sure I will have enough time to sleep another day- just so sure... 040603 ... hsgatincamail listening to a warm place. 040613 ... elegance Last night so stoned I couldn't hold a joint or walk (the spliff had to be fed to me), watching South Park and the TV wouldn't stop jumping around and although I wanted to stay up with my Cowboy, he had six hours more sleep than I did, and I died and fell up the stairs into my bed wearing jeans and a t-shirt still, and bed was the nicest thing ever. 040615 ... love & hate something i cant do easily. 040615 ... Tay I have been looking for you everywhere! 040722 ... Lisa he does too rarely.. 040723 ... The One Who Knew Fall Into The deepest sleep with me and we could possibly live our second, our less painful, life together in our lovely dreams until we have a rude awaking. Our Lives are lousy and our time is forgotten, so fall asleep with me and dream with me. Live our lives in our dreams until I realize that your death drove me mad and your corspe is in my bed, peacfuly dreaming of how it could of been, before You Took Your Life Away 040803 ... hsg i want some 040904 ... cheerleaderslut don't we all? 040904 ... Just a thought Is for the dead Elusive as a black cat on a moonless night. Just when i think i have caught its tail it tugs the corner of may sheets and makes me wish i had never had the audacity to become concious. Those months in sleep after the crash must be the reason why i am being punished now. But am i punishing myself or is it something else. I think i'm mad. 040913 ... fritz When you sleep you dream, and you remember those dreams. How do you know what was a real memory and what was a dream? All you know could have been imagined in sleep, or all you remember dreaming could have been a forgotten memory. How can you know. 040922 ... god sleep is for... creeps 040923 ... ktp hurts alot when you're alone 041010 ... mullet another life with twists and turns with everflowing colors, true peace and comfort, taking a trip every night to a place where your secrets are let loose. 041020 ... love & hate but were do dreams end and reality begin... That is the question which haunts me in both my waking and sleeping moments. 041021 ... pete last night was the best sleep ive had in months, i dreamt of her and i, it was different as it was not a sexual/quasisexual dream, but a bright warm comfortable walk dream... missed my first class and felt alive when i woke 041021 ... Syrope it didn't used to be an option i was such a machine i started something and i beat it into submission no matter what i'm getting apathetic in my old age 041213 ... tr I can sleep when I am dead...that's the point I will stop being tired. 050201 ... josie I write by the sound of your sleeping hour. A Silence. Filled by nothingness, filled by everything. It’s a precious kind of Sleep, timely & real. So much so, that I fear you could easily wake to the sound of life & it’s solipsistic song. But in your silent slumber, Sleep, in His grace does not deduce you to a name, a face nor a voice, & as a child might, you give yourself to Him utterly. Body & no body. Flesh & no flesh. Although in Sleep we are unknowing of ourselves, we become ourselves. Blissfully unaware of life’s precious song, or of the lyrics we seemingly need be governed by. In Sleep we are the music makers, in Sleep we are the dreamers of dreams. Yet strangely enough, I see that Sleep dares not remember the self in the conscious realm. A realm where He is worshipped as the pinnacle of the dead day. But the day is not dead. The day is here. Now. In this moment. We are that which we are not. We are the Self. Do you hear the song of life to which the waking sleepers dance to so delicately? With such sickening ethereality? A myriad of morose boys whose concepts of life are evidenced by that which They are. That which They know, They see, & They hear. The dance of the dead man, divided by the boy. Being awake has become Idolatry. Commercial. Futile. But the day is not dead. The day is here. Now. Being that which we are not. We are the Self. And if you hold still for just one moment, you’ll hear the sound that resounds between your fingertips. And for that moment Silence finally is tangible & triumphant. 050205 ... iNsEcUrE_GoTh_GiRl this is the reason why i'm sat here typing at a quarter to eight on a sunday morning, the once chance i have of a lie in before the drudgery of the week starts again. but because i've been relying on a more artificial way of sleep....... i just can't do it any more. i can't sleep! i've forgotten how. so last night and the night before i decided to try sleeping normally, naturally. it sure as fuck isn't working. and now i'm sat here avoiding revision and being tired. and not being able to sleep. so i'm going to text my early rising friend to talk. or not, even she might not be up. so for the next week of exams i'll be continuously drugged for the whole day. sleeping pills for night, caffeine pills for day. and that's not even half of the list of pretty medication that i'll have to take. please feed me pills. 050205 ... jane {myfavorite klimt} 050222 ... jane (after larval stage on "rain") god, i wish i could. nearly a hundred uninterrupted days and nights chained together, without pause i want to claw my way below the surface until i reach the center and sleep in warm earth for a spell and not come out 'til the dreams come 050222 ... *Amy* wolud be so much better if nightmares didn`t exists 050315 ... piercedjenny When I close my eyes to the waking world it is dark and sinister Screams echo through my house as terror permeates my being It is not a respite for me, only 8 hours of reliving the hell of years gone by ...and people wonder why I choose not to sleep 050404 ... me such a waste of time... like masturbation. lots of pleasure (actually i find it boring. sleep i mean), with nothing to show for it. just a waste of fucking time...what happened while you were asleep? you ever see the nighttime world? 050504 ... me you spend half your life sleeping. roughly. so that means you spent half your life doing jack shit. which could be a good thing. because if you're 80, you've only lived for 40 years. thats still young in my book...so you're not old until you're about 160...see i think it works like this. you start young, you're still young until you hit about 60. then you're old. you stay old until about 95. then you';re young again. thnk about it. how much energy and happiness and spark do 100yr olds have? 050504 ... nor i desperatly will do anything and everything in my power to get away from it. i go to sleep, i will wake up although tonight i seriously doubt it. 050517 ... mia i don`t wanna sleep alone without any warmth next to me without any skin to touch these caresses between being awake and asleep i miss them so much 050803 ... pepperdrinks none for me, thanks 050826 ... captain_subtext and then there is dreaming 050826 ... zeke when you are dead 050826 ... edwards i don't sleep...cause sleep is the cousin of death 050916 ... edwards i don't sleep...cause sleep is the cousin of death 050916 ... Maple Tree when i am awake, you are there, to talk when i am asleep, you are there, to hug me i don't want to sleep now, but i do want you to hold me bed is bliss 060219 ... no reason i'm not enjoying it lately, the process of falling asleep that is. everything is just a step to the next thing. sleep soon. wake soon. do other things soon, repeat cycle. i don't know why, there's nothing i'm working up to. lately it's hard to add comfort and decrease agitation. 060524 ... Ishutan I don't sleep anymore. I used to have the droning of the submarine propellers to put me down. A sort of claustrophobic anesthetic... My coffee pot broke three days ago. and I finished eating the last of my beans two days ago. I have an addictive personality. Money... The wood in my house is too old to be safe. There is no running your hands down these ancient banasters, no walking about barefoot. Taking your shoes off provides a feeling of safety and security... but these are things I am no longer afforded. I tried a while ago to redo the exterior... I figured if I came home each day to a castle on the outside I would want to restore the condemnable interior. See, I've never been one to ask for help or charity from anyone... and restoring a house this large is far to big a job for one man. So each day I rake the leaves and mow the lawn. I would love to lay on my couch after working so hard, but instead I have to sit as there is a spring sticking up through the cushion on one side. My mattress has no sheets. Basically my house is naked from the inside out, bare and unhealthy. The outside is prestine though, in this suburban society it would be simply unacceptable to show signs of anything less than poignant acclimation. (A Soldier's Side, Part 1) 061114 ... whispering shadows sweet mindless bliss oh how i love thee carry me on flightless wings to zion where time will cease to haunt me and i may Finlay rest in peace 070703 ... me Where are you? why do you never come at an appropriate time? this is surely a joke? 071105 ... pobodys nerfect Sleep?! What the hell is that?!? When i was about 5 or so, my parents used to shut me in their room (while they watched tv in the living room) so i would bore myself to sleep. I'd sometimes count to occupy the time, and i could--with some help--count to over a hundred. Pretty impressive for that age (but a big reflection of my insomnia even back then). These days, i just stay awake on the computer until 2 AM (or alternately, whenever i'm bored and can't think of anything else to do). Unless i'm sick, there's no point in even trying to go to bed at a "normal" time like 11, because sure as anything, i'll just wake up at some obscure hour like 4 AM. If i can still wake up when i need to (and more often than not feel more rested than when i get the extra sleep) then why fight with something that's been a part of my nature for 29 years? 071105 ... turtle I can't do it! 080829 ... In_Bloom 40 minutes here Three hours there Sweet memories of lying beside for a good 8 That was nice 080830 ... cc something i could use more of 081129 ... no reason i want to sleep it away i want to sleep 090318 ... In_Bloom I love sleep when it comes but life is so exciting for me at times The man cradles me, strokes my hair, kisses my forehead and smiles as I open my eyes... He tilts his head back and whispers to the air, "ahh, she which does not sleep..." 090814 ... TK ... the enemy of productivity *yawn* 'nite 120606 ... Sleepy_TK ...beckons me by name G'nite my lovely Blatherskites ^.^ 140826 what's it to you? who go blather from