lisa mea culpa.

i remember feeling isolated. alone. detached from the rest of the world. i remember feeling empty.

sometimes it feels like you're trapped in a glass tower. sometimes it feels like you're stuck in a box.

i remember the void.
SomeoneElse Often seen as negative, I revel in it's silence. Within it I find the space to finally breathe again and watch the looking glass of me. 000410
birdmad "...I've tried
Please believe me /
I'm doing the best that i can.
I'm ashamed of the things
i've been put through /
I'm ahsamed of the person I am

But if you could just see the beauty
these things i could never describe /
Pleasures and wayward distractions,
Is this my wonderful prize?


(c) Ian Curtis 1980
grasshopper i remember the void too. some people really are isolated and it isn't totally self-imposed. mine seems half and half. better than before. i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you. do what you want. 000502
tourist NOTHING
(this IS sacred)


now it's golden
Invisible Butterfly i keep myself isolated from the world , i dun't know why anyone would want to become as another foolish person of this fucked up world. i rather keep myself locked up in a glass box...i can see the world and it can see me , but i always make sure we're seperated 020528
Gh$t So I go for my cigarette and look to the sky. The church bell rings the age echoes thought me as the spirits immerge unaffected by the silence, it comes to thought, many have felt it before and with the roach burning my lips the feeling disappears. 030124
Eraserhead Self-imposed isolation isn't healthy, but I can't think of any other response. It's a natural reaction to the things I see around me. I can't deal with the way people interact, the politics of interaction are beyond me. It seems as if you have to surrender yourself to, forgive me for the cliche, a herd mentality. The less you think and more you're like everyone else, the happier you'll be. But this illusion is far to great a thing for me to ignore. 050126
three words playmate shut_up_and_kiss_me isolation 061020
amy nada this is normal. i go for walks (not singular) with a stone for company.

after all, i don't know, i'm not familiar, with what a stone will say, or not say, to me.
silentbob It's just interesting
In isolation
Music has felt more
To me
Cuts deeper, hits harder
Than it has lately
In isolation.
superleni long days
paddling in the sun

little things become interesting
Twitch Lord - thank you for the experience of the I AM through this physical conduit. This dream, this moment where our fingers touch the keyboard. So realistic. This moment. An explosion in the midst of nothingness. Here we are.

Thank you for this body's experience of momentary isolation in the midst of all the nothingness.
medusa Quarantine is an abridged version of Eat, Pray, Love. Although, the latter is starting to wear on me.
In the first few weeks I stress ate myself in a complacent state of acceptance. Not exactly pizza from Napoli, but it did the job. I tried baking with the rest of the world and all I ended up with was tiresome disappointment and a loaf of sourdough bread that resembled a rock with an uncooked center.

I sort of forced a spiritual awakening on myself. I wanted one, so I got it. Maybe it was me, maybe it was the universe or God, maybe the mind really is matter and I manifested it.
Either way, I have been knee deep in mysticism, Hermeticism, meditation, vanilla Christianity, moon rituals, chakara healing, tarot readings, smudgings, crystal toting, animal oracles, lucid dreams, and forest bathing. It's a lot. And today I couldn't even watch Midnight Gospel because anymore metaphysical chatter and I will implode from the information.

Love. I love my partner. I don't always like him. It's just me, I tell myself. But, it can't always be, right?
One one hand (it's a pretty strong hand), he is the sweetest, funniest, innocent I've ever met.
One the other hand, he is immature, loud, has little ambition, and smokes too much weed. It doesn't understand how to read a room. He makes stupid jokes trying to get a rise out of me. Like, almost every time he sets his alarm he will say, "setting it for 7am" and wait for me to explode into a panicked fury begging him not to. But I usually ignore it. At which point, he will say it again and look at me.
And I will feign a smile and say, "no ur not hehe". The forced laughter is no tip off because this person has zero intuition. It wears on a person like me, who has too much intuition it borders on annoying. Or maybe it's anxiety.

All in all, fuck. I am over this fucking quarantine. But...I also don't want to go back to this capitalist "democracy" we worship so fervently. Me included. I know we will resume life how we knew it, slowly but surely. Any changes that are permanent, we will adapt to. Because that's what we do.

Stay safe birches.
what's it to you?
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