trapped me? -> typhoid (another dream) im trapped inside a shadow of myself. there's an inside and an outside, but i can't find the doors. don't panic. you can find a way out if you don't panic. the walls vanish. i have escaped. but really, i've just moved to the center of the room. 991226 ... spikey-ho in a world, in a relationship, in a body, in a soul, in a cage, in a life. 991231 ... psycho babe i feel trapped inside this world, do you? people who aren't real, who dont know where they are, and it aggrivates me. The feeling of not breathing, or not being able to move, in a closed space I write where the walls close in on me...i need help 001103 ... like rain. please oh please oh please don't free me please please please don't let me go please don't make me see the world from anywhere but here oh god don't look away... 010423 ... ladybird trapped between drownable eyes when all i really want is just to be me.... 010514 ... futility trapped inside my expectations of myself and the world's expectations of me. never truly free to be who I am, except, of course, when I am alone. 010519 ... discreet Trapped is the feeling of solitude and frustration, the feeling that confines us within the walls that are closing in between us. Trapped defines society as a whole, confined within its own rules, until one day, it, like a trapped person, will explode and wither away. 011119 ... marcellus umm, yeah, trapped is the feeling when tomarrow is today. when killing yourself seems like a viable option. when writing stupid quotes on a website is the only thing..... 020416 ... melissah the fire is flaming and it sure looks like fun put fire to flesh cuz theres nowhere to run 020811 ... ~gez~ the world is open for anyone to run free, all one must do is say what is on their mind and make sure they know others that will listen. you cannot be hurt by yourself 020901 ... oak barrel twice 021013 ... *silent screams It's like i'm in a movie, scene by scene my fears are coming true. I can't break free from anything thatz happening, i have no control over my own actions. I'm screaming on the inside, yet i can't break the invisible wall that blocks me from being able to take control agian. You can't save me, you don't even know that i'm lost, trapped on the inside. I scream and shout, but still I can't break free. Something has poured cement around my soul, and I can't break free no matter how hard I attempt to. No one could ever have a clue, there is no way of evening knowing that i'm trapped in this dark place. The outside blocks all attempts to escape.... "It" knows that "its" real, yet the outside world doesn't even have a clue. Don't ask...itz probably better that way. 030206 ... niska every day i open the door to the brick wall i put behind it. 030318 ... kc trapped---what you feel when you don't ever want to remember what it was you wanted to be when you grew up. too painful to remember that kind of innocent hope. before life took your soul. 030818 ... imposter In an interminable night with nowhere to go, no one to see. Trapped in time that does not seem to want to end. Damn you time 030904 ... x twisted x its being lost in your mind...wanting to be in a time that doesnt exist anymore. dreaming you were there...and then--you wake up and your still in the frustrating, disappointing world you desperately want to leave behind. trapped in time itself. 040104 ... stork daddy between total detachment and the selfishness of my childhood when everything was an adventure and i was the star. consequently i do things conducive to neither the end state of detachment nor the end state of pleasurable hedonism. 040209 ... misstree stuck between stoic and sensate, eh? you know my advice. 040209 ... stork daddy yes...and its many pitfalls. 040209 ... taffy the way you feel when everything goes wrong and you know it the way a person makes you feel being in the hell hole of a life you are forced to live in 040229 ... ambermoon trapped between right and wrong. you know what you should do but were dose that get you? so in the end you always do whatever it is that you wish to do, no matter if it hurts the one you love. and you are trapped no more. 040229 ... Megan inside myself. cant get out. can't fight back. can't win. can't breath. can't hold on. why this horrible decaying feeling of torment. trapped inside my own personal hell. which I have created. for myself by myself to take revenge for my owm unhappiness. 040420 ... blown cherry I feel as though I'm living in a confessional, kneeling on hard boards waiting for that window to open, even if only for a few moments. Except nobody has told me that the parish has been deserted. 041230 ... aggg dont know whether to confront him or not. I'm trapped 041230 ... monika I am trapped in an illusion confused by my own clarity denied freedom and breath I'm you're little caged bird be amused by my singing think of it as yours I know it's really mine Take it all away from me not like I had it in the first place freedom is impossible if the human thinks you a pet 050503 ... sanguineous heavy and held down by the weight of your stare. 050511 ... fetch a chicken make poyama! ahahaha!!!! 070912 ... unhinged he was very happy at work the other day. stupidly, i asked him why. 'i don't know. i woke up next to my girl this morning,' big smile on his face and my heart hit the floor and i hoped that my face showed no visible reaction. i could feel the corners of my mouth tugging down though. 'and i played music all morning. it was just relaxing.' and i should have said it 'must be nice to wake up next to someone. i barely remember how that feels.' someone i like anyways. and my heart was trampled by his happiness, jealousy, guilt, aloneness. it had been so long since we hung out, i cooked dinner, we got high and played music together, i unhappily slept on his couch and then woke up the next morning together to play more music together. we don't do that anymore. and he is the happiest i've ever known him to be. i want to scream. i want to tell him. i want to blame it all on myself. but i can't do any of that. maybe he truly never even once realized that i liked him more than he liked me. and considering how happy he is with her, the only thing an all out admission would accomplish is being further alienated from him. but maybe i want to destroy it, that last little bit. the part that makes us still hang out at work and talk. i just want to say 'i can't stand to see you with your girlfriend.' but when i think of how he might react to that i feel selfish and guilty. but part of me thinks he knows, or at the very least got some pressure from her when she met me back in june. because he doesn't talk about her with me much. maybe i didn't hide my reaction as well as i thought. cause i am so tired of being just_friends with every good person i meet. because what happened to me months ago is still a big ball in my chest, that turned my weary aloneness into an unbearable black hole. and when i come home at night and drag my ass up the flight of stairs and stand in front of the door, i can barely stand to unlock it knowing that there's no one in there waiting for me. just me, just my big black hole that sucks me in and rips the tears out. 080928 ... unhinged laying in his bed naked listening to his snoring thinking maybe i should just leave cut_and_run 081020 what's it to you? who go blather from