frustration nullspace ahh! i cannot win. what do i have to do to make it better? what do i have to do to prove to you that i am not the same person i was two years ago. you just don't care. and yet i need your acceptance. i need to hear you say yes. that which i desire is within your power to give, and i am repeatedly denied. it's so much more important to me than you know. you act as though it were just another day's work. i don't want to be a slave to the system. i need the system to validate me. 000113 ... fran You couldn't fit my frustration in a matchbox. 001216 ... mrblue no she said to me, along with everyone else in my life. everytime i turn around another no. everyone everytime never yes. no. no one to look at me like a human instead of just two letters that mean nothing to them but a wasted breath. that's all i am to them, wasted breath. sometimes i want to waste my breath on them, screaming till their eardrums burst, and they stagger away, pressing hands over bleeding ears that have finally heard me, eyelids closed tight against eyes that have finally seen me. but then i tell myself no, they're not worth it. 010429 ... kingsuperspecial I'm about done. Too many factors out of my influence, everyone has issues and nobody wants to take the first step. It's all about comprimise, down to the point where what you orginally wanted is a chewed up throbbing stump with teeth marks. I'm forging a deep, cold suspicion for anyone and anything that presents itself on a level greater than "fair weather friend". There's too much pain in the details, too many people taking and taking and not giving. 010807 ... kingsuperspecial I'm so ready to just toss in the chips, and let this one go. she's really good though, and I've been trying really hard to be good, too. I think I'm ready to be serious, and of course I find the a who I have fun with AND she's not an idiot AND she's queensupersexy AND she lets me be myself AND she doesn't want to get involved. frustration? I don't even want to talk about it - I'm ready to tear the whole world apart with my bare hands. 010915 ... kingsuperspecial no call no thoughts no arms no hope 010919 ... Norm tear the world apart man. itll make you feel better. trust me 010919 ... kx21 A spice of Life, specifically Creativity... 010919 ... distorted tendencies All I want to be able to just hold you. I wish I could say "For an Eternity", but I know I can't.. But for the present, you feel perfect and you're not here.. 010919 ... sEth All I do is cause frustration for my girlfriend Tiff'ny. (cheap vodka) 011110 ... CheapVodka no no... that'z not all he does... he causes me frustration but he also causes me happiness, smiles, content, gigglez, laughs, growlz, orgasms, dirty_thoughts, anger, shivvverz, bliss, confidence, want, need, all_in_all he causes me complete and total love for him...and I wouldn't trade any of it for any amount of time. 011110 ... sEth Damn straight I cause her orgasms = ) 011110 ... CheapVodka (wowza) Ha! *there's those dirty thoughts* 011110 ... Freak I have the want, ability, and drive to do my best...but theres something that holds me back which just turns everything into complete and total frustration. 011126 ... ClairE ClairE: Hey, dude. Ant: hey what up C: Not too much. C: You? A: n/m C: ah C: Great minds think alike. Or something like that. A: lol A: so.. C: LOL! C: I was just telling Jo how we always say "so" to each other. A: so? lol C: HA A: so... C: Yes? A: well ok dude i think im out 011129 ... Annie111 I am not frustrated at all. I have finally learned to take the kicks with the highs and wait to let it roll out in red. Or maybe that's just because I'm happy with life, which is not unusual for me. 011129 ... ClairE Ahem, see Alex. But I am so happy for you. 011129 ... ClairE When you type up a REALLY good blathe and then hit enter before the e-mail address is fully filled out, or it doesn't accept your blathe_subject, or any other reason...grr. 011130 ... Grievance Ctr + C. The only form of blather insurance. (it's saved me more than once) 011203 ... sad girl i told u i wanted to one day be with u again. ive written it and youve read it but youre not at all happy with what i say or what i write. i have made a lot of mistakes. ive hurt you badly and shaken your faith in the female persuation yet again. ive screwed u over and turned my back and walked away and betrayed you and even so i loved u i love u now you wake up in the morning and you say to me "i love you" but you tell me you dont think you could be with someone like me this person that i have become. i dont blame u. after everything i can honestly say that i would be an unfit girlfriend. is so frustrating to hear u say that youve given up on me. its frustrating when i do and say and write things that i think will warm your heart and instead it seems to do the opposite. i have fucked up in a big way for a long time. but i am trying to make things good again. i really want to make things work i want to do something right 020123 ... blown cherry Frustration about not being able to hold the-person-I-care-most-about's head to my chest, and stroke their hair, and kiss their forehead, and offer what little comfort there may be to give when they are damaged and doubled over in pain. 020616 ... shiva grrrr 021007 ... fucking christ on a pogostick o_my_god, take your fucking flutzoo elsewhere, dude. 021007 ... p2 it's not even your fault so stop apologizing goddammit it just makes things worse 021125 ... . . 021125 ... Dafremen I'll stop right away. I'm sorry. 021125 ... ashmanzhou it seems only like i break my fists on these walls but my prison holds my rage my life it seems is shattered and all hope is lost i let my anger burn my choler smoulder in its rage and scream at this unjust world 030630 ... imposter Sometimes I just wish I could save everyone. godfuckingdamnit this kills Just one. I want to. . . 030909 ... user24 giving way to habits. knowing that you're under the control of something else. 031114 ... ambermoon great...thats all i need right now!!! 040322 ... misstree this is the title of one of my flavorite self-written poems... and no i won't post it. (nyah nyah!) 040322 ... stork daddy well that leaves me feeling frustration 040322 ... no reason the ocean inside will soon flood through poor weakened eyelids ankles, ears, fingertips every crevice will have a story to tell but yet not yet because we are still so dry 040811 ... :) pepsi_Folklore 040811 ... Natalie It's impossible like cheeze!!!!!!!!!!!!!wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You person(s) are very interesting, and so are those persons in Alaska(Karaoke scarry!!!!!!) 050721 ... redcanadiancamel dose it ever end 050721 ... redcanadiancamel dose it ever end 050721 ... redcanadiancamel dose it ever end 050721 ... redcanadiancamel dose it ever end 050721 ... redcanadiancamel dose it ever end 050721 ... redcanadiancamel dose it ever end 050721 ... redcanadiancamel dose it ever end 050721 ... redcanadiancamel dose it ever end 050721 ... redcanadiancamel dose it ever end 050721 ... redcanadiancamel dose it ever end 050721 ... r i type it a million tpyes 050721 ... redcanadiancamel i forgot to type the rest 050721 ... misstree pacing about, primal, ready to pounce and drink in the gush if only i can find a pulse and growling under my breath with every impatient step 060611 ... Ouroboros did he give me herpes? if it's not him then who else could it be? and if he never makes the fucking effort to go get tested, how will i know? and then i see him tonight and we hug and our bodies just fit and fall into place- his hands smoothing over my back, my hair. yum. yuck. argh. 060806 ... zedel I have been working for nearly 2 months, and I have been paid for only 1 week of that work. My bank account is currently negative. I can’t pay any of the bills which are due. I have to borrow money from friends in order to eat lunch. My credit rating is now going to be seriously affected, so I will not be able to get a mobile phone or a credit card. It looks like I am going to have to go through this every week, just to make sure I get paid. Does that not explain my frustration? I don’t like living this way. I don’t like having to worry about money all the time. 080207 ... Little Lost RIding Hood Frustration smothers me in undulating, seismic waves of anger. It crashes into my cerebral cortex like an ocean of violent words, pounding rythmically like a funeral drum detained from hell. I beat and scream and bang my head, but these remorseless shivers of carnal delight refuse to let me go. They pucker and pander and slowly meander, these armies of a thousand feelings are casting nets in the seas of my soul. Is there not some other being with whom I can share these trips of pure abandon? I am cold with the reality of lonliness, it bites into my flesh with the sound of weeping angels. Oh the frustration of battered love. 080207 what's it to you? who go blather from