impatient deb if i didn't have better sense, i'd call you right now and blurt it out before "hello"- my lips unknowingly curl up at the edges into permagrin, heart swells into a ripened fruit, pulse quickens after skipping two beats when my mind wanders... i fidget, fingering images on the wall, jumping inside my skin every time the phone rings, frightened into queasy giggles, phone rings again, oh no, because maybe it's... and i can... oh, but... not yet... i'm afraid to page you in case you call right back, catch me off-guard and i slip, but i almost don't care if i do, i'm only scared of the reply (or lack thereof) but i can't keep hiding it or i'll erupt and say what i mean, and what then? but, what if-? and-? i'm going nuts trying to figure this out- oh, what am i doing? ::pause:: oh, screw it, i'm just gonna say it- i love you 001001 ... Wayne sorry no time to read that. hope it was good. 001002 ... ClairE He told me before we'd even got around to deciding on the kiss, "You're impatient!", all because I tap on the table and toss my hair but it's all out of love that my feet race along and I drive fast and I curse you out and you too. My mother made me wait outside for her today, the world is covered in white. I said fuck_you to the car that passed by because it was the same model as his. I thought about how in the Midwest it is never spring yet and I thought fuck_you for all my friends out there and I listened to the birds chirping and I thought fuck_you to the fact that some of them will die, and the flat heaviness of fact itself. My father started yelling at a plastic box today, because it wouldn't work. And boys wonder at my lack of self_control. Did I ever throw a glass in your face? No, when I throw things, I make sure they're aimed at the door. Did I ever make you cry and then tell you to shut up? No, all I did was kick you out of your own bed, and made you shut your own door while I cried. I said my mother used to cry in the bathroom and you turned to me and said, "Mine too," in a soft voice I'd never learned. Have you ever watched water run down a mirrored surface? You are the other side and I was forever in touch with you and forever unable to touch you. I want want want always and I take it as a matter of pride that I wasn't turned meek that I always speak out for myself that I know how to soothe by an authoritative stomp of the voice and how to whittle the precise edge to my whine. See, I like lying in bed because it brings the next day to me. 040317 ... stork daddy bam 040318 ... kipper better and better 040401 ... Dumb puns. The doctor proscribed his patient a big dose of instant messaging? 070314 ... dimbo but i used to be patient. 070314 what's it to you? who go blather from