burden grab 010724
Bitch Suck me 030610
unhinged my relationships, friendships go sour and i point the finger inward. it's my fault for continuing to let this happen to me. it's my fault for attracting and/or seeking out the shitty people in the world. (but the realist in me knows the world is populated by mostly shitty people) the general scenarios go something like this:

men, i tend to find the ones that stereotypically care about only one thing. they take it from me whether i want them to or not so i have a habit of just giving it away. i have a habit of finding these men to affirm my usefulness at only one thing. i have managed to find a couple of men that care beyond sex but i get backed into the 'friend' corner or my silence_mistaken_for_malice fucks it all up. it is a very real pattern in my life; fuckhole or nothing.

girls - i find the ones that would like to pretend in a crowded bar that they care. and maybe steal a few kisses to enhance their own image with the boys. just when i think i am close to them, close enough to have a good friend at least, they find a new and more interesting dick to chase and leave me in the dirt.

people take what they want from me and leave me in the dirt. repeatedly. and when it comes down to it, i let them. what is the point in trying? what is the point in showing people i'm human so that they can take what they want and walk_away anyways?
i ask myself these things repeatedly. and i still can't find any satisfying or helpful answers.
what's it to you?
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