woke Brad looked lonely 000621 ... miniver I was cold (it's a rainy day), and I didn't want to close the sliding doors that lead out to the deck, and I didn't want to put more clothes on, so I sat down on the floor by the radiator. And I put my feet near it for a while. And then I held my hands over it like one does over a fire. And I closed my eyes and warmed up my face, a bit. I was so content there that I brought over a notebook in which to write -- and a pen, too -- and I lay down as close as I could to the radiator without burning myself. I doodled just one word in my book and then I fell asleep! And when I woke up I was warm, and I could smell the rain, and hear the wind blowing through the open door. But I'd also forgotten to blow out one of my candles and the wax puddle had hardened on the coffee table in the shape of a star. I think my coffee table will now always smell of raspberry candle. And I still have carpet patterns imprinted on my belly. I skipped work again today, anyway. 000621 ... stipey what if i never have? what if? but what if? i'm still waiting still dreaming 000712 ... kim i still am dreaming that is 000712 ... twiggie i just woke up and i feel lost. i feel like i missed something in those three hours of sleep. Of course there are always things to be missed while you sleep, but this seems like something important. Even though I don't know what it is, it's upsetting me. I almost want to cry. I feel very out of place right now, as if people are angry or dissapointed or something with me, but won't tell me. Why couldn't I have just slept a little more. I wish it were raining outside. It's snowing, and that's nice to watch and all, but you can't hear it. I want to listen to the rain, that's comforting. 001215 ... me ...Woke up this morning to a fruitless sky above Didn't wanna get out of my bed When I was dreamin' i was so in love So in love I wish that I was dead Is there somethin' worth livin' for today? ~"I don't wanna live today" Ape Hanger 030309 ... girl_jane from my dreams and wanted to go back when I realized you weren't really there... 030317 ... pSyche "Woke from dreaming, but it took convincing. I was shaking screaming, I was still alive" 060111 what's it to you? who go blather from