alive dallas more than a feeling. less than a dream. something in the middle, and it's always worth it. 980826 ... jade a state of being. the quality of the experience is question of conciousness. 980903 ... Rob what do you do when you feel you've never really lived? how do you tell if you're alive? 981021 ... [marissa] you stretch your toes and scream you bleed and taste the iron rusted bite of your purple crayon veins. you let the wind blow your face to oblivion like the motorcycle chick who keeps spitting on herself. because it all blows back. and that's how you know: you are alive. 981022 ... valis ours is a world of comparisons. people feel most alive when theyve got an alternative to weigh it against. 991208 ... erran you know your alive when you get really cold. you know? that feeling when your legs freeze up, and you can't take one more step. when you walk into a warm room they start thawing out and the pain hits you. the tingling and burning sensation. thats being alive. 991229 ... ikon damn you. for making me feel this way. you made me feel alive once. now, I feel you slipping away. and I feel like I'm dying. damn you. 000121 ... http://www.public.iastate.edu/~apollo42 life is random. so random. 000122 ... zippy_the_tooth_pick alive when i'm with you dead when i'm not 000122 ... dragon it's not so much a state of being as a state of doing or of wanting, of hoping or of praying, of killing or giving birth, of destroying or creating, of sinning and forgiving, of speaking and of silence. it doesn't exactly lend itself to an easy definition. i mean... what is alive? is it the physiology--heart beating, muscles contracting, lungs expanding? is it the psychology--the things we do or think, and why? or... is it the emotions--the mind-drowning despair, the flaming anger, the soul-wrenching hate--and the heart-lifting hope, the light of peace, and the complete creation of love? maybe. or... 000123 ... dropout mmmmm...South American soccer player... 000124 ... sean so much more than just breathing. 000130 ... girl i have to hurt myself to be reminded that i am. 000326 ... gigaphairy not that you'd notice 000717 ... eruth be jeffrey organized chaos da da da. da da da. da da da then a crash at the rapping rap rap tapping at my door went there before, collective mind is oh so nice, and she will make a cherry pie charming billy willie billy a philly cheese steak actually in philadelphia i went there once an independant record store and a pepsi godspeed you black emperor maps from a thousand years ago led me to his treasure and chunk ate it so did Mikey if you were there why use nike when you can have reebok then you know what happens to little girls oh thank heaven for them girls more like squirrels always running away i better not attach my god appointed name to this one or my email address more importantly becuase someone might fire a bomb at me women you have broken my heart but women you have given me a new start a breath i want to breathe oh eruth be why do you have to be so 17 always in the tabloids thats where the devil likes to play he sleeps with Marylin and Manson and the rest of you non right wing tight asshole conservatives from milwakke or minnesota or china or any other place considering the next pro wrestling politician oh alive ode to alive commit a sonnet because you can then pass it off on your little sister she is more sweet or naive or likely to marry hitler if he offered enough money blondes camoflauge my face? yeah right i am too uptight so all of you want to be me...what the hell is that? why am i famous? if you actually tried on these shiny wooden clogs from kurt from the netherlands then you would vomit i am gonna go smoke a cigarette i am gonna smoke a cigarette i sure wish it was that mary j. iguana one of the left handed ones yeah that would be nice lice smite fuck so here is my synoptic text broken down into segments for those of you with practical minds who need explanations for your verse of mind life is not what ever is, by force of selecting one thing and abndoning another you mesh with your opposite, and yes you arise to the top of a pile of dead aborted "could of beens'" standing alone on what ifs life not what is but what was not or the collective soul that is you is not or alive is the act inbtween the decision to choose one or the other way of thinking, at least in a binary world where if this is true than that must also be true or equally untrue so if you believe in alive then I believe in dying and we are both in transition admist everything we chose not to be and therefore gave it existence aborted birth as i ponder on the true existance of a trippy dark side of mind i recall voices of bitter anguish to one who claims to know it all you naive bastards! how dare you tell me i need to live by the bible! fuck that! fuck that bull shit! you have never exposed yourself to the darkness i wished for you have not a clue to hell with the baptists i am going to disneyworld there i will find peace the happiest place on earth mabye i will run into an old friend i am going to chug a lug lug mug thug i used to be assimilated like poetry beat neat meat for breakfast? fast? satan who are you to tell me anything enjoy your stay in hell for that is what you deserve but me to wait how dare i slander a celestial being i am satans pride i am satans jealousy why is it that we cannot compare ourselves to satan? i mean he is an angel one to be respected evil? what is evil without god he is far greater than we ever could imagine i speak as i sit right below the angels i speak as i sit right bee-low the angels i am not scared of the devil he is the almost invisible tiny but shiny bug that i step on each day FATHER OF LIES HOW DARE YOU TRY AND BRAINWASH ME I DECLARE WAR ON YOU YOU DECIETFUL BEING YOU HAD IT MADE bUT YOU BLEW IT! do not give me that line of crap sublime a state of conciuos? bradley nowell overdosed anyway hows that for a role model you sponges? I AM ALIVE I AM ALIVE I AM FUCKING ALIVE!!! 89789b7bhnbjhmjh89h43rhbq34li243895hbx1lhbx35gbx137i2xv if that was the regirgitation of too many beers wait till you see me on herione or crack, sometimes I pretend to use drugs so that people will think I am high then they uderstand why I do not think the way they do, otherwise they send me to my room, I spent most of my childhood in my room thinking about what I did I guess that makes me an autobiographical being seeing as how my self reflective nature forces me to now judge the world by what I did, but have i really grown or have i merely grown accoustomed to the way that "things" are? i dont think that i will ever know. ever know what? if am am still alive or just dreaming. fin 000721 ... Zoe the feeling you get right after kissing the one you love and then dancing in the rain all night long untill two in the morning, then calling your best friend and staying on the phone with her untill the sun rises, talking the whole time. 000721 ... unique butterfly am i alive? does the world really care? deep feelings aren't real. this isn't fair. its too much. 001115 ... vortex What is it to be alive? I am enthusiastic and consciencious in everything I do Yet I rarely leave anything for myself I dream of the simple life Yet half of me thrives on this constant striving The stress that I know is twisting knots in my stomach I try not to feel anymore I have to be professional, be stable and reliable for everyone else I do such a good job But where does that leave me? And am really alive to myself? 010313 ... monadh I have never felt more alive than when faced with my own mortality 010313 ... Chrity go to: i_have_words 010409 ... waxdot I came downstairs to wash my plate, and pet my dog. My dog had a fungus growing on his head. We saw branches on it too. But it turned out to be a twig. And the sun was shining on my dog, and I went to the window, and I saw a spider who was trapped between two walls of glass. She was trapped and couldn't get out. She actually still trapped in that glass, and I can't get her out. She thinks she's escaping, but she's fucking trapped, damnit. She's trapped, and I can't do anything about it, unless I fucking break the window. 010414 ... like rain. it's the way your fingertips sink into my skin when you rub your hands across my back. 010510 ... Jolly Green Giant once when i was stoned i made up a poem about being alive, its so crazy how i just said it, there was no thought process behind it. You dont need to get stoned to be alive though, it's just artificial 010608 ... Fire&Roses My eyes are closed. I can barely stand. My thoughts have fogged over and faded in to the burning that is taking over. If you let go I will sink to the ground, but there in your arms I am alive. 010724 ... jacksprat its funny but even though things seem to be getting worse and worse my life in chains, the economy all fucked up and america losing it's innocence. and yet for some reason i feel at peace, and so totally alive. maybe i'm just tired. 011009 ... misaligned bury me alive in freshly fall in down love 020130 ... morgan here, i'm alive everything, all the time. 020212 ... ClairE Yeah, but how many people actually do something about it? 020212 ... blown cherry I feel more alive when I'm in emotional turmoil than at any other time. The heights of ecstasy, the depths of pain. Every breath is a sharp intake of oxygen into my lungs and every heartbeat is pounding, trying to burst its way out of my chest. If I'm just cruising, I'm not really me anymore, though I suppose I need the break sometimes, it can be a lot to handle. Soemtimes I think being alive is going to kill me. 020212 ... jon_dog it is Canadian march, when winter just won't stop, when feeling alive is a test of will, everything so blah, but soon, soon, soon, spring will bloom, and with the westerly winds hieghtened emotion, higher highs, lower lows and love, i hope. 020325 ... purple punk Playing golf in a field behind McDonald's at 2 am... Going to my first show & rave... Travis holding me, calling me "Sweet Angel", sounding so sad... Little things make me feel alive 020720 ... foreveryoung to be alive, to truly be alive, is to hang on to the very things we discover when we are first alive. When we are born, life is new to us. We discover, we learn. Life is a marvel. We are Happy, complete, basic, and most of all, full of imagination. As time passes, we forget or become desensitized to the joys that are inherent to living: a sunny afternoon, a flower picked from the yard, ice cream melting on your fingers, fast shoes, laughter...we turn into drones. our life turns into existence. Recapture the essence of youth. Rediscover life as it really is. Live until you die. 021120 ... hellen Would not be good if it were not evanescent. Like a cat: squeeze it too hard and it slips away, don't think about it and it will rub your legs and sit on your windowsill, singing innocent untouchable songs. 030127 ... Eowithien something i am not. something that my heart (not the physical one) wishes it is. something that could be the human race but so many people can not give birth to their hearts and let them free. 030219 ... starvin tummy i hate living. no im not inlove with death nor looking ofr it but i hate the way my life functions. 030312 ... ferret alive but not living 030420 ... phil I lived boring and hated. I was torn apart, lost and confused. No one ever learns. With all this rubbish going on, it's impossible to get someone. ...but everything makes me happy. 030426 ... sam i don't like this place there is no reason to be here to exist it is too difficult to make friends simply not worth it there must be an easier place an escape where people smile and laugh in their eyes eyes laughing that's where i want to go immediately 030512 ... chizill no longer alive. *giggles* my therapist told me that home is happiness. i told her she must have never been to my house. she said, not the physical state of home... YOURE home inside of you. I'm going crazy. I just cut myself in my room with my mother's favorite kitchen knife. "It cuts through leather". haha. Good times. They ask me if I'm okay. oh man, thats the best. I'm fine! *hehe* No. I'm so sick. I just want to go home. 030521 ... me i'm alive when blood runs IN my veins like red emotion 030624 ... electric i feel the most alive when i am tempting death physical like driving fast in the car chasing the sun and squinting at the horizon or emotional death like flirting to the point of no return playing with fire risking the love and trust i have built for one moment of fire in my veins 030625 ... SillyConfusedS to be alive is to feel correct? and wat does it mean when u feel too much? suffering and hate is all i ever felt..tho there have been moments when things werent as bad..but still...can i possibly feel too much? and if so...does tha mean i am REALLY alive? 030626 ... dontkno where am i 030714 ... scorpion heart jell-o. its aliiiive! 031116 ... Fireapple red Like zombies? 040220 ... stork daddy as i will be for the rest of my life, i'm a courtin miss maybe 040220 ... americantune awake & smiling, eager for the day ahead, breathing rapidly and swimming towards the light 040702 ... Borealis what light 040702 ... americantune the stereotypical alive light, where the sun shines on green grassy hills that have sprung from a beautiful dawn... 040724 ... Syrope today it almost hit me... i was finally able to conjure what i think was a lost memory of your tongue slipping past my lips, and it made me stub the toe of my shoe on the sidewalk. i'm not going to know what to do with myself in your arms. i've never been so terrified. it's been so long since i felt this alive... 040724 ... Borealis there was a beautiful dawn this morning.... but I didn't see the sun rise. funny how much things can change in 22 days 040724 ... fading flower simple moments, simple breaths I feel one with everything around me so rarely Looking deep in your eyes Clasping your hand Waking up to a beautiful Kentucky sunrise Finally reaching your destination When I used to have a reflection... I am no more 041102 ... mic driving with the windows down in springtime and breathing the newness of the season 050112 ... Tara alive is feeling more than this numb sensation more than a shadow on the wall alive is simply feeling 051027 ... LegionB4U yes...we are 051027 ... scarlet sister sometimes painfully so. 051030 ... oren A favorite_word of Dr_Frankenstein. 051030 ... Heavy Insights We are alive until they make AIDS an airborne virus! This life is a hallucination detracting from the fact we are already in our tombs as we sleep at night. The hell dwellers believe in being 'alive' most strongly but the hallucination of a body passes on death then their consciousness is fucked by devils. 060419 ... Vulgar I'm feeling nothing But all alone Just missing someone I don't even know But until I find them I'll wait patiently Just feeling nothing Inside of me And where are you baby Where can you be Why aren't you here Loving me 'Cause I won't to kiss you And make you feel right I want to lay with you all through the night And I want to feel passion I want to feel pain I want to weep at the sound of your name Come make me laugh Come make me cry Just make me feel Alive And so I wait For that glorious day When the one I dream of Comes my way But until I find them I'll wait patiently Just feeling nothing Inside of me And where are you baby Where can you be Why aren't you here Loving me 'Cause I want to kiss you and make you feel right I want to lay with you All through the night And I want to feel passion... 060713 ... Sardine Only when duality exists in harmony. 061116 ... Laura I want to find myself alive. 070318 ... Lady Lightness oh my friend, but you are- even when your brain says you're not enough, even when your emotions tug you down- still your heart beats, still your skin feels, still your breath moves in and out in and out, still you are solid form in space, still you are in one moment then the next always moving forward through time, still the spark of life is housed in your body, still you are, alive alive alive 070318 ... is how is it that I go from here to there in such a short time? sometimes it feels like nothing could bring me down. then I feel the cloud creeping but fight it. fight it. fight it. and then it takes over. this is chemical. I know. What makes it hard is that no one will accept that this is more than my own doing. willpower will yourself to be happy in the face of a severe shortage of endorphins. I can't make them at will. They are like a cake. They take ingredients and method and time. I don't have a large supply. I love life. I love when I am not like now. This is hard. This world is broken. No one will accept that until they see it. Fathers and brothers with pornography on their walls. Friends who dehumanise your ethnic relatives. Because they don't know. And what if they did? Boys who tell you it is bad to want more than sex. bitch. die. I love the grass and trees. They have souls like no human being. we are not as we imagine we are. We are so far gone. It is so ingrained you cannot even see it anymore. It is everywhere. It is the air you breathe. YOu believe it because it is all you know. Not you. maybe you. I don't know. I don't know you. So I don't know. I'm sorry. I hope you know what I mean. 071031 ... pSyche ... It's nice to not feel alone. thank you is. 071031 ... Light electric wires flowing breathing respiring eating wasting away 080709 what's it to you? who go blather from