Dallas The method behind the madness. 980912
camille the manner in which creation is created 000103
eric after a long absence, then returning to blather recently, for some reason i was thinking of the word 'process' today, then i thought, "oh, that would be a cool word to blathe on". and whatdyaknow, here it is in the recent list.

it occurred to me that i often overlook the process in things. i tend to gravitate to thinking of beginnings and endings and fixate on a picture of a result. seldom is the picture even remotely representative of the result (if there is one).

the beginning is just a thought or a desire, and the end is just a picture. a thought, a desire, a picture - not very substantial stuff. the mind ceaselessly generates them. the real stuff is in between - the process.

i think it's kinda like that with my life in general, like fixating on what i want to be - as a result, as a picture of who i want to be. at this moment it seems i've always been that way. and the picture, though it changes often, never matches what sits here now thinking about it, remembering that the process has been rolling along the whole time.

the idea of 'being in the moment' seems pretty much the same thing as 'being in the process'. like, being involved with a picture of a result is being unplugged from the process, where real stuff is happening.

sometimes i can see others as being in a process and i can be a little more tolerant of them. they seem to be involved with dreaming, desiring, planning, trying to change into something else, being frustrated with where they are and who they are, making mistakes, learning, not learning, repeating, moving along. that just seems to be the human process.

i wonder how long i'll remember this?
marjorie i want these to be processed.
she means, put through the system.
through the system?
yeah. you know.
not really.
something about how you have one thing and when you're done with it, it no longer resembles anything you thought you had, and you have no idea what it is anymore.
it's something closely akin to progress.
only the c is so much softer that we do much more processing.
amy all in due time 000325
god the universe is a process 001130
unhinged fugue is a process
modulation is a process
sonata is a process
rondo is a process

if you believe everything everyone tells you, music is nothing more than a process. there are certain things in this world that were not meant to be analyzed. the study of music theory has ruined my subconcious appreciation for music.
johnny west That's why I abandoned piano lessons. Trying to make sense out of all those notes and sharps and flats and terms reduced music to an exercise in technical jargon. I'm happy making and enjoying music for what it means to me, leaving the technical aspects for others to obsess about.

My mom/step father (from now on I'll refer to them as a single Fuckthing) would always tell me how I was closing so many doors by giving up piano lessons and being unable to read music. I can read music. And I choose not to.
jane loss_of_innocence 070510
oops the_loss_of_innocence 070510
what's it to you?
who go