the void the sweetest word in the world

(especially when you're 19 and you get called that by a 30-year-old who acts more like 5)
( g )
MollyGoLightly When I was little, and my mom was feeling worn out, she would say:

"Let's play a game. Let's pretend that you're the mom and I'm the kid."
daxle why is it that every compliment you have ever given me sounded like an insult?
why is it that everything you give me is in return for something else, something you won't tell me about until I have failed to give it at the proper moment?
why is it that you'll never believe we can live without you?
it turns out that I am a much better person when you're not around
Greg is my best friend. 001213
Rhin My mother is the sweetest woman I Know! Growing up, she never failed to tell my sister & I, that she loved us. She showed this, by telling my sis. and I this, many times throughout each day, along with showering us with hugs and kisses all day long. She has such a soft, kind heart, and truly looks out for the underdog. Even now, she is this way. She is the best kind of mother. She is always there for me, but never interferes in my life, with opinions, concerning the mistakes I still make. She just let's me learn my lessons on my own. I always thought that once I moved out on my own, that I would have to answer to no one. Well, while that is true, I still very much care what my mother thinks, and nothing makes me feel worse, than seeing disappointment cross her face. I have this superstition, that to do this day is as strong as it was, when I was a child. When someone is leaving a conversation with me, or my home, someone whom I love, or am loved by, I have to tell them I love them, and I have to hear it from them. If this fails to occur, I am beside myself with worry, that something will happen to them, but mostly with the fact, that I wanted them to know I loved them, and for those to be the last words they heard from me. Well, my mother has only forgotten my rule once in my life. She was angry with me, one teenage day, and left for my grandfathers (2 hours away), without this conversation taking place. She drove an hour, then turned around and came back. She knew she would find me, sitting under the Whipporwill, staring up the hill, all day long, until I seen her truck pop over it, if she didn't. Don't you just love her too? *sniff* She is so amazing! I can't imagine life without her, and I can't even think about the day, when that will become a reality. I'm crying now as I write this, just thinking of that. I just can't think about it! I love you Mommy dear! 001213
heresy mother is the name of god on the lips and hearts of children

the crow
oscar would be turning 64 on tuesday if she were here

one the one hand, i love her for the things she taught me to appreciate, good music, a good book, and all the little nuances of the kitchen

on the other hand, i resent her (and my dad) for the fact that to break free of their overprotectiveness, i had to spin a web of lies and lead a double-life so intricate that it took me until well after they were both gone to salvage what resulted when my worlds collided

happy birthday, mom
and again, goodbye

and please forgive me that i left my faith in your custody along with the memento_mori i placed at your side during the memorial service
*spoons* something that gives me the creeps yet on a rare occasion irrely comforting
you saw the anarchy sign carved into my arm i told you its pen and you buy it and send me to wash it off sometimes im glad your so fucking blind.
j breaks my heart. doesn't feel like i appreciate her. how more can i express i do. 010311
monadh the strongest person I know 010312
mikey same here 010312
nocturnal I luuuuv my mommy! sometimes she's mean to me, though. but I know it's just her own way of showing her concern, so it's okay. she's the only one I let get away with not treating me well all the time because I understand her. she's the best. 010312
dB Why did you leave me? 010312
Frizzie A person who only fills the part when she thinks its necesary 010312
mikey a pillar of strength 010312
cheeze i love her but hate her at the same time

i think that she is slightly insane
mikey its gotta be the cheese. THE CHEESE. 010312
cheeze yeah...
but i do love her a lot
but she does a lot of stupid things
what about your mom
bluechicken i quit smoking. i ran around hitting things with baseball bats. i pulled out my eyebrows. i shat out lots of electrolytes. but i got over it.
i win, mom. I WIN! are you listening, mom? Mom, don't leave me at home again! we don't have any food mom, i'll get hungry. mom, don't leave me mom. last time i had to walk to the store all by myself and this dirty old man wanted to buy my sneakers. mom!
kinkazoid i just recently realized that my mom hates me. i dont know why i never noticed before. every time i knock on her door to her room to ask her a question she yells at me and tells me to go away. in the morning when i wake up she will have breakfast made for my stepdad and my sister. and if i ask where mine is she will say "you slept to late" then she'll tell me to go wake up my sister for breakfast. she'll slap me if i even take one peice of bacon. i swear its like im not even there. everyone thinks my mom is so nice cuz she is, shes nice as hell to everyone except me, i didnt even do anything to her shes a bitch. 010612
sarah its spelt MUM
damn americans dont you people go to school???
now repeat after me *M*U*M*
Mummy Mum Mother...
birdmad i wish her and my dad had found some better way to amuse themselves one summer night in 1971

a dance
a board game
a good movie


dammit mom, how come you couldn't have managed to have a headache or something that night?
Toxic_Kisses I told her I love her twice this morning b4 she left for work, I guess she just didn’t hear me to reply back. You know I never realized just HOW much I love her till I became preggerz, every one haz their faults, my mom iz no exception, but I still think she's more perfect than any other person I've ever met.
She's the only person I can truly depend on and trust.
TalviFatin I think someday I want to be called "mom". I want to be a good mother. A loved mother. A respected mother. But not right now. Someday. Someday a mother of two sons. 011013
Annie111 i can talk and talk and talk and she will still listen with interest, with feedback.

understands completely everything I do, because damnit, i am a good kid, i don't cut myself or do hardcore drugs or listen to loud, and i'm still here and still smart even though they have dragged me half way around the world eight times.

I love her so much. She is amazing.
ClairE I am so sorry, kinkazoid.

I am just like her. I took the good parts out.
And the bad, of course.
Everyone likes her but she takes things out on me.
And everyone else.
Eh, my mom and my dad are both equally good.

I love my mom.
I heard Sharon_Olds read about her own mother. Dying. It made me cry.
jessica fletcher if my mother ever passes, which she won't, i will be so lost. my mother is the greatest person i've ever known. if i could giver her the world i would. i wish she had time to rest. i love her sooooo much. 020515
Zoe my sister and i are having a surprise b-day party for my mom tomorrow. she'll be 50! 50! i can't believe she is so old. she still is skinny and active. i love my mom. we don't get along very well (she's extremely religous) but she has sacrificed everything for me. 020531
Jacer I'm sorry you made yourself cry.
You're the person who's always stood up for me, but this time I needed to stand up for myself. I needed to stand up to you. What you did doesn't make me feel nearly as bad as acknowledging I'm partly responsible for your pain. If I stand up to you though, maybe you'll quit, maybe this will be the last time. I can bear this immense pain but for a day, and no longer; with it I should hope to not be burdened with either pain ever after.
Rayne I love my mother! I don't know what I would without her! She has given me everything she could. I love her more than anything in the world! 020620
phil you're fucking dumb 020807
GirlNamedLover youre the only person Ive ever hated. 020910
Mahayana you never let me down
in letting me down
[im glad you continue to givemesomething to believe in]
GirlNamedLover fuck you. 020911
GirlNamedLover (mom) 020911
Bagshi Are just people... 021023
pipedream i want a million kids.
my mom is amazing.
i love her when she yells at me because she wants me to be the best i can.
i love her when she lets me sit on her lap, all five feet six inches 115 pounds of me.
i love her when she pretends to be gruff to hide the fact she is proud of me.
i love her when old songs remind her of her mother.
i love her when i overhear her telling someone on the phone about something good i did.
i love her for laughing at my jokes and for seeing through me like i was a pane of glass.
i love her for being my best friend, making me exist and giving me her crooked fingers.
i can't imagine life without her.
niska i'm glad you have all the answers, because i have so many questions. 030314
un_ame_solitaire she died in july of 2002
and I miss her every single day

if your folks are alive, tell them you love them

you never know when it might be too late
forever endeavor my friend's mom died today.
our hearts were breaking for her.
we all just sat in silence for an hour. staring at the walls. everyone probably thinking the same thing. how much pain she must be in right now. i'm scared for her.
Vicki The pain runs deep. I cannot begin to forgive unless Iam a little bitter first. Why? Why did you choose a MAN over your childern? This Mother's Day I think I'll send you the card with little emotion and that expresses to you for a nice day insted of the heart felt love I have for you. Mabey you will hear me cry through the hallmark symbol on the back ...or mabey you'll see the dis-organized hand writting as a symbol of my life without you..... I MISS YOU MOM...Please come back to me 030331
amber i have her hands and she has the wind in her hair 030523
ass hole for my mom has past away I miss her every day she was my bestfriend
I wissed that i could give her a hug and say I love you she cant hear me though
once again My mother is not sweet, at least, not entirely. My mom has a bit of sour in her too. She is not just a pillow when I cry but my rock. My mom is strong and silly. I told a friend that my mom "kicks ass" and it's true. When she wants something done it gets done. She has a strength that exceeds the physical. She believes that telling the truth is the most important thing and she tells it. She believes in doing the right thing and she tries to do it. I love you mom. And I'm sorry, for the times I lied, for the times I told you I hated you (I know I must have), for the times I said I could never make you happy. And when the time comes to sprinkle you on the tomatoes I know I'll be able to say, "Gee, mom sure tastes good," and smile while thinking of the things you taught me. 030914
ass_kisser 7 years cancer ate its way into her bones and she died a horrorablpy painful death I miss her more that she is not here the closeness we had was unbelavable to most
Having A mom that you could tell everthing to was incredible she was my not only my mom she was my bestfriend we would talk for hours and hours on end about life and the things we had done or hope to acomplish in the future those last 3 months she was alive were painful to me I took care of her with very from famialy
the trips to the doctor the sickness I could not even touch her at then the pain was to great for her she would sream out in pain from slightist
she hugged me one last time crying in pain and then went to sleep she never awoke 6 days later she was gone
watching someone you love go this was devesating to me I never even said goodbye

So hug and kiss your mom tell her you love her for she might not be here tomorrow and then it will to late
tortuous your so funny and goofy
the way you always get titles of movies backwards and say the old jetsons dog's 'rut-ro'
your such a dork
your going through a lot at the moment but your okay and i know you'll always be okay.
i miss you but thats okay because i know your still here with me.
Zoe it's a funny thing about moms. there is so much emotion wrapped up in my mom. i love her and hate her. i look at her life and admire everything. i mean, she raised two children by herself working two jobs. she's given me everything i've ever wanted (i'm spoiled) yet stayed up at night wondering how to pay the bills. she's taught me so much about unconditional love and respect. however, she also has severe problems. she's gone through my stuff, she's told me that i'm going to hell because i've had premarital sex, she's treated me like a partner instead of a child, she's made me take sides between her and my father, she's read my journal, she's basically made me feel like a piece of shit. that's the problem, just as i hate her, i start to love her again. i think that's the way it is with all mothers. 031022
whome i suddenly miss her a lot. 031104
JDs Mom Is a a good way. I love her. She made me the weirdo I am today.
She really does know what she's talking about most of the time (unless it's computer related).

Thanks mom!
You're awesome...guess it took me having a kid to realize it!

kx21 The M of Man_talk... 040502
kx21 To be precise:-

Mother Of Man_talk (MOM)...
estarocks god she's annoying sometimes. but i love her... 040614
JG I think Mothers are wonderful--I know many. I see them everyday and have benefitted so much from my friends' Mothers and ladies, who are mothers, that I work with and/or are neighbors.
I was lucky to have two Grandmothers that were each like Mothers to me. My Mom didn't like children and shouldn't have had any, but, thank God--I had the prior generation Mothers to pretty much take her place. She's still her and I take care of her--but it's my Grandmothers that I say "Thank God for" each, and every day! Grandmothers can be God's true blessings when one's Mother is not.
rikakire deceased now for six months..

brain tumors are awful things.

and i miss her so much, every day..
mom_bomb We didn't have an easy time of it, but looking back I know she really did love me, and she was doing the best she could.

She really hurt me a lot though. that woman could hold a grudge for. ever.

Now she's gone. But I still carry her around with me for better or worse.
fgdfh LAME! 071021
REAListic optimIST i'll never blather enough to encapsulate this convoluted relationship, this reversal of caretaking, this toxic hug, hanging on like a lifeline, this replaying of the same death dirge over and over until i am forced to shut off my ability to deeply care so that i can function. finding out that she has cancer has barely even phased me since it's been decades of suicide attempts, car wrecks, emphysema, mystery viruses, and death wishes. Yet, I remain the one solid support for her amidst her chaotic existence. Sometimes i just need a break. sometimes i don't get one. mostly i just want to scream and ask if there is a shred of hope or yearning for life at all. i am going to stretch all of my resources to make it to see her for thanksgiving to comfort her since she just found out about the cancer and to help her find a place to move into that can care for her once she sells her house. 071114
pobodys nerfect I always wished i had a mom like the one on "The Waltons" tv show; someone who was kind, encouraging, gave hugs when you needed them, and pointed out your good qualities when you needed a boost in self-esteem. Well, i didn't get a mom (or even a grandmother) like that. It hurt more of course, when i was younger... i could really relate to Eeyore and the little raincloud that follows him everywhere. I spent a LOT of time by myself in my room. Thank god the radio airwaves in the 80's were filled with cheerful pop music. I relied on it; it re-charged me when i was drained and needed something to help me keep believing...after listening for awhile, often i could even fool myself into believing i was happier than i actually was. ["pretend the loneliness doesen't exist and it won't,carrie"]

I didn't start to truly believe in myself until my mid-20's or so (i occasionally have bouts of self-doubt--old habits die hard), when i was spending less and less time away from her. Funny how you can believe all the garbage someone tells you until you wise up and start to distance yourself from it, and fill your life with other, more positive things.
I'm 34 years old, and for a couple days this summer, i experienced a mother that i actually liked, when my aunt (her sister) died suddenly.
All my life i've wanted a mom who was not afraid to show compassion and kindness, and some vulnerability too. Someone who didn't need to point out every damn flaw and erode my self-esteem with a seemingly gleeful & heartless vengence, and for that small window of time i *finally* had her--I just wish it hadn't taken the death of one of my favourite aunts to experience it. I'm equally sad that she's gone right back to the way she was before. It seems her old habits die as equally hard as mine do. =0/
no reason she's good at avoiding me/not acknowledging things
it's been 3 days
impressive, since we live in the same house
Soma Listen here
Having a vagina
Being able to push a child out
That doesn't make you a mom
It just makes you female

Congratulations, you shitbag excuse for a parent. You have genitals. You can reproduce.

But "mom" or "mother" is a title, and I do not give it to you.

Learn compassion and selflessness
Learn that your children are people
Not meatsack puppets you can control

Learn about LOVE
Because this whole "You don't deserve it" shit isn't love, that's APPROVAL

Learn about PROVIDING something other than abuse
You know plenty about providing for yourself, and how to twist the knife in a hurtful wound

Learn some goddamn HUMANITY
Because yes
I should be allowed to twitch when it hurts
Flinch when he hits
Cry when I'm broken

I am not a robot
And you are not my mom
You're just some woman who I have to live for another year
charli I've aways loved my mother
I will always love my mother.
she did the best she could with us.

I'm about to become a father
I will do my best to be a good father.
Thank you, mom.
what's it to you?
who go