drained typhoid i feel so pathetic when i try to think of late. nothing interesting ever comes of it. like all my creativity's been drained out a hole at the base of my skull. or maybe i sacrificed it for a pain in my chest... 001103 ... lycanthrope empty highway three a.m climbing it to coax my home from hills still unfamiliar in the ways that don't matter, but should. and up ahead, two red lights, making the minor motions, that up close are immediate curves. and my speed picks up. something of a hunter in me emerges more outward in than inward out, from my senses jumped to conclusions to my mind's revisions. we hunt patterns we could like. we hunt for things with intention. i follow those lights onto roads, and suddenly these roads become more than ways home. new dimensions bloom outward, in headlights, untill the smeared blood of the tailights goes dark, as if cold. and like a surgeon, i've learned too late, that i valued something beyond what could be learned. i can blink, but i can't close my eyes, not really. i can't see the lights red, i can't pretend my prey isn't dead. isn't me. 020903 ... stork daddy ah is that all? 020903 ... devalis too tired to try 020904 ... ever dumbening corporate america holidays retail me 061221 ... pete damn stupid fucking paper. i don't care, don't you know that? let me take a course i'm actually interested in in my 4th year instead of this drivel. *sighs* i'm fracking drained by this bs. 061221 ... Ouroboros well, you can always gloat over the fact that while they all are stuck in their alcohol/xmas/coporate hells forever, you are not, cause you are hipitiyhiphipster and they are not. and you can sing in your head "happy holiday motherfucker" with each interaction. 061223 ... pete the assignment i was working on was due and handed in yesterday. i'm now out of town for more or less a week. good gods it's good to not have to think. 061223 ... the awful truth that was really good lycanthrope and i usually think everyone is full of shit 061223 ... lostgirl cry_eyes 101206 ... . force 101206 ... unhinged the past month and a half has come closer and closer to exhausting my love for you all the radiant_heart_yoga in a day can't replace it fast enough 110220 ... lostgirl the empty feeling is actually comforting on some strange level...almost as if there is a glimmer of hope; that what will come next could possibly be positive. 110404 ... unhinged work ugh 110404 what's it to you? who go blather from