silence shaheen do you like silence? what do you think about when all you can do is just think? 990208 ... eve silence swimming fire dimming cling climb through curtains of silence 991025 ... richyl the deep thinking of a brainless person trying to think of what to do in a situation where no action is possible 991026 ... Colleen wouldn't it be wonderful if peace and silence were conventional? 991111 ... troy "..is Golden"; - it really *is*! In the City, it is expensive; -attainable only by those with the means to create an artificial environment capable of delivering it to them.. -those who can afford to live in "Splendid Isolation", whenever they retreat from the World into their self-styled womb of peace and quiet, without fear of any disturbance, no matter how long they stay secluded. 991211 ... andrea silence creates a vibe that stays within those who have tried it on for size found that it fit and locked it up inside 991220 ... gaudior deafens beyond compare. unnerving, discomforting... "is he a man or a block of ice?" she wondered. 000115 ... fyngula it was had to know because of the silence, because of the speaking, and anytime it was in his direction his heart leaped because that could mean that the answer was nothing, not a thing was known. but as he wondered, he had that feeling of a sinking heart, like he was being pulled in a direction he didn't want to go and his feet were slipping, even though he was trying to stop it. 000124 ... sean your head rested on the pillow beside mine you are at rest me? satiated with happiness lying... in silence flash of light *crash* flash of life silence now... a photo rested on the pillow beside mine you are at rest me? wallowing in depression longing... for *lack* of silence to quiet... my... my thoughts 000126 ... semipseudofemmes in the darkness, silence outwardly prevails. inside of everything, motion of meandering thoughts creates noise at an unfathomable volume. 000127 ... VCell silence, like confusion like a pallbearer wandering in the snow walking in circles around graves of folks he never knew searching, for nothing like dream homes in magazines no signs of life can be found footprints near the doorstep have been swept away like cold shivers on the vertabrae of my sexuality the non-existent gray sky tracing its cloudy hands down the definition of my thighs like a view of the ocean in the frothy green air residue of a lover in these empty arms singing hymns to the ocean confusion drifts away with the silence 000212 ... camille . 000212 ... calliope silence is not having to listen to pitiful analogies but somehow you can't shut out all that crap in your head 000229 ... SomeoneElse I do not believe that silence in it's entirity exists. I had once thought that to be speechless was silent and so I spent a day as such. I noticed how much conversation was had even though my tongue was rested from it's weary travels... In listening to the sounds outside my window I conversed. In talking to myself, (a favourite of one such as I), communication was voiced. My celluar decay and regenation created a noise audible, but just not to I. But I found silence that day in the absence of a lover. That distinct and private communication exists not for I. And I found silence in those who's spirits had died. They rejoiced not in the exchange of life and self. I found silence in those that lie. That fundamental of human respect denied and avenues closed. Silence, I thought, was a partial thing. Never wholey established, never completely lacking. 000501 ... Philifledermaus a beautiful thing, although still not as beautiful as the organic hum of a city, heard from the top of a distant hill, in abstraction, far removed. 000506 ... Tiffa Silence! The child still breathes. See how his eyes flutter. Stay my hand, or Death. 000521 ... josie this eerie tonicity, consuming, devouring my thought with a screaming tongue. An unanticipated aggresion of paranoias, fears, hopes, joys, but mostly sorrows, and paranoias, mostly. but why am i questioning my sanity? am i deranged? i know I'm not becuase i think I'm not but believing I'm not makes me insane! The silence prevents me from stillness in my mind. The tranquility turns to a blare of dittys for my reflections to sing to. The silence has disallowed my mind to attune with any reasons of content. I wish the silence never came. Like a child exposed to memories scarring infinitely, silence has questioned my reality, & has thought burned into all of my reason. 000607 ... sannyasi . 000609 ... sannyasi oops that's already been done, I didn't read before posting... 000609 ... enon shhh, heidi, shhh. 000627 ... Q-Dogg is all there is behind the noise of our mind. Silence is the peace you find when your water becomes clear. It is at the begining And the end It Exists outside of time While we are trapped within Silence is a pathway to greater understanding 000707 ... Tank doesn't exist in it's entirity. 000707 ... stan The most deafening roar that ever befriended be,...or was it the quiet before the storm? I wished for spring and the sound of crickets, locusts, and rabbits knawing on berries and the ever fresh rejuvinator...of spring. But this silence too,...will pass. 000804 ... mathias . . . . . . . . . . never enough too much noise crashing about, incessant invader of the peace of consciousness, a swarm of sound pressure levels and modulate frequencies. "buzz buzz" as hamlet said, the world falls away to a deafening buzz as it bathes you in its relentless tide (there's no rest for the wicked, my dear). no, never enough silence 000830 ... camille .. 000902 ... tourist SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhh.......... ah! 001103 ... Barrett WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! 001103 ... SCOTT trailing silence w/in sound i dream of waking screaming into my phantom silence-why won't it stop?!? where has that gentle snow fallen-silently longing and begging my dreams for silence-and PEACE 001108 ... chanaka silence and silence and silence and silence.... these are a few of my favorite things 001108 ... camille ... 001112 ... camille inhale exhale.. 001112 ... Milkman Dan is golden also corrupted and rusts away what it touches bites and tears silence is destructive and inescapable drowning and poetry sucks 001120 ... circe i will not sit in it any longer. 001208 ... me ... is the best word that I've ever found. I can say it all in one breath 001217 ... Rhin like glass. 001217 ... somebody we used to cuddle it was so weird the way he never went too far two days ago i took him to a house i had to babysit. i collected the mail. fed the cat. he was wandering around. changed the cat litter. watered the christmas tree. we wandered up the stairs and wandered into the bedroom. i looked through the books to see if they had any interesting ones but they were all boring mysteries. he sat on the bed and looked bored. slowly and slowly i appeared in his arms, until i was and all those little intricate steps to getting there were whirring in my mind as i tried really hard to shut my conscience and its annoying shrieks of you stupid fool you are nothing and cannot be here he deserves so much more i saw a swiss army knife lying on the bedside table and to distract it i opened the blades and toothpick and little serrated saw things. i grabbed his hand and he didn't flinch, at least not until later when i got bold and drew the littlest blade across the part of his hand, the part under the thumb, that cushion-y part. i drew a cross and realized too late it would clot. i drew another one on his right hand and looked at what i had done, his sharp breath still whistling. he held it up and i started sucking on those tiny ribbon cuts and tasting the blood, metallic and wondering what the hell i was doing. he pulled down my shirt to kiss my neck and for the first time was insistent and would not stop. cuddles now have a deeper and stronger quiet. i don't know what to do. i am so afraid of him, he is my world and he cannot be my lover. 010102 ... p. i need it to think, i need it to sleep. it is nothing, yet can be all-consuimg. visual silence is a white void, so bright that it blinds you, yet so empty there is infinite room for thought and creativity. it binds all, yet is broken so easily... 010227 ... rudhaen it is a blanket to put me to sleep when the world turns its back on my ignorance 010228 ... Little Hawk All the words you've ever imagined...condensed into a few moments of reflection. The inadequacies of language. The intricacies of thought. 010228 ... harbinger silence is a noise so great you cannot hear it ~ 010307 ... abms i hate silence. it makes me very uncomfortable. makes me think and remember. memories arent always good 010330 ... ear parcel i havea multitude of thoughts to espress and an arsenal of noises to share them with and yet this silence sews its silken threads through my lips and stifles any attempt at communication 010503 ... Casey I hate silence. I need to know that I am not alone. Even if it is just the music of Alkaline Trio, Counting Crows, or anything I like, then I'll be fine. I can't even go to sleep in silence. I always need a soft tune playing in my ear. But this pisses my parents off a lot because I play the sterio so lound. And i don't like headphones. 010503 ... daylitedreamer ..and we sit and revel in the silence, when words have lost their value and songs are meaningless, and all there is left to do is sit in silence 010506 ... daylitedreamer the silence in me is screaming 010506 ... mandin6o star what does silence look like? silence looks dark silence looks unhappy and feels like pain silence is something that is hidden protected for a reason a reason that only silence can explain silence is being afraid silence is being insecure silence is ignorance silence looks like a black endless hole a black endless hole that only looks back at you silence is your best friend and your worst enemy silence is a scary thing that's why no one really knows what it looks like no one wants to face the silence silence is death 010526 ... ((opiate_womb)) the musical thoughts of the beautiful... a way to escape the world to listen to know to feel in complete harmony 010627 ... Dis God, the silences are tough. The whole long distance thing is tough in general, man. I guess that's some sort of commentary on my own sense of self-worth, the way I can't have a productive relationship with someone unless they're in my immediate vicinity and I can have constant reassurance that they aren't cheating or losing interest in me. That's not love, man, that's lockdown. 010627 ... Glennaieve the golden light that bathes his face, the slow stroke of his fingers down my back, the sigh that whispers over my lips, the aching desire of two mouths becoming one...the peace that comes from a simple touch, the love that beats within the souls of two slowly becoming one... 011009 ... translucent why the fuck am i so quiet? i so wanted to say something, comfort you. but i just cant. fuck. 011013 ... ilovepatsajak it's annoying when you're with someone and they try to break it, just leave it alone man! 011013 ... ilovepatsajak oh and also when you're in a movie theater and there is always someone who has to laugh or make a stupid comment during that silence between previews. then you feel embarrassed for them, but really, they should know better. 011013 ... Kat the temple of our purest thoughts is silence. -unknown 011108 ... Frozen When welcomed Silence is one of the most beautiful experiences ever, when not, then it can be as deadly poison. 011204 ... ClairE there are so many different kinds. I don't want to think about the bad ones. 011204 ... Mahayana: Zakah: Sangha Jewels of Refuge silence ...birthed from within looming through my fingers weaving out my eyes tyme keeps on ticking ever more ever more tyme keeps on ticking i have no string 2 continue as looms become my fingers i shall weave my blathes instead 011218 ... sabbie i waited but all there was was silence 011222 ... shiva ... ** 020111 ... Mahayana [silence] *sigh* sincerely, lence [silence] but i already did, said lence 020111 ... niki words are very unneccesary they can only do harm 020111 ... Mahayana are you 'enjoying' it niki [...the silence that is] 020111 ... niki i never really have complete silence... the thoughts in my head are continuosly (sp?) moving and i never really get a break...it really sucks when i am trying to sleep thanks for asking though! 020111 ... unhinged the world looks rather bleak today but that's ok i don't hear the telephone ringing just listening to our sad sad songs hoping the telephone would be ringing hoping that she wasn't coming along i could have been happy but i opened my mouth he said he wasn't running but just reversed directions one of these days i will take my vow of silence seriously get rid of impatience and be happy to wait for you 020111 ... mcpants she spoke in me with eyes as pale as autumn moons, her skin like ice as i gazed upon her lifeless shore, she bowed low and sank into the earth i hid behind a smile, even as the tears betrayed me i call out, and she assaults me with silence she beckons me to join her, meet her, be her i cannot refuse... 020228 ... lotusmagic We question life but find only silence... LOTUSMAGIC is the silence transformed into a place where answers can be found 020331 ... silently_she_screams I don't like happy silences...if your happy u should talk I like sad silences...when u don't have to verbalise your thoughts cause they already know..... I don't like silence when im by myself..i always have to turn the radio on I like silence......but only in controlled conditions 020520 ... Boymansonbowie sometimes it can be so deafening. 020605 ... devalis it hurts more than the words that I can't forget 020807 ... white_light I might teach myself to meditate, maybe the gods have better thoughts ofr me thatn you do. I might lead myself to water, maybe the salt is sweeter than what you know. We are the orphans of silence, we are the orphans of silence, we are the orphans of silence, without words, without beautiful words. I might teach myself to breathe, maybe the ease of your respirator is detrimental to my peace. I might feed myself some noise, maybe the sounds i hear are beautiful to me. 020808 ... grace the noises in my head are drowning out my life... i now see my brain as my worst enemy... maybe someday we will function as partners.. until then I will wage my war...wish me luck 020810 ... sylvia plath the silence depressed me. it wasn't the silence of silence. it was my own silence. 020904 ... phil there is nothing I can say about 3what I am experiencing right now 020904 ... g.f.y. it is true what they say about love an life and tangling webs of mystery, possibly forgiveness does not have any solution in it the rejection of mysery and self and the absolve reject the hypothesis leading to doubt i died why does it have to be like this why is the other side of the rainbow never there why must I cry for what I've done why must everything I do be bad accept this hypothesis retaliation for forgivness side with the devil, not with yourself? what is wrong? what is right? what is the devil? am I all who I say I am. I lied about my past, and I paid the price of losing happiness I could have gained from it. I wanted my past to be a reason for pain and depression. A past filled with hardships, and lonliness, but what if this was my true past. This is something I do not know if I could answer. And what of love? Have I fucked that up? I've done everything wrong I was watching for, excpecting to see,* now I expect I will be in prison but why do I see this as my future? Is this the same as I had seen my past, I can either feel overwhelmed with joy or wrapped in a state of hysteria. AHH! this is not fooking good. I don't want to rely on all those faces, on all the idiocies I did. I can't believe it was me, this is a nightmare with a tormenter inside of me, not inside of my dream. I want to ride on that cart down the hall where they take you away because you've gone insane, and stay in heaven forever. But I tried that already, it's funny, what made me safe before when I was incompetent, is it still true that my solitude will keep me safe today? More insane scribblings to come. Oh I pain for it. *(note to self: make believing I saw the future in the past (about a future that is now the past), but not actually doing it, although it seems I saw this thought many times before) some things feel good, without feeling too good, like everything is good, not bad, just by a small margin. Bullshit! (((why does it really really feel like I could wake up as a squirell in the morning.))) It's funny when I was younger, I used to believe I could be waking up each morning as a different person, and this morning I was phil, and next morning I would be phil too. Because that's what I believe. Now it seems more true. So this leads me to wonder, if I am not chosing to wake up as a squirell, then I am choosing to wake up as phil? i wonder... am I on autophil? p.s. real bad experience with the squirell trick once, at point of insanity and delusionment, suicide, all sorts of bad shit. Imagination come to life, does this happen to all of us, and if so... what is happening to you? Is there a real? (g.f.y.) Why do little things bother me so much, why do other people's solutions bother me so much. sleep or death cut the cake sit in thought surrender to pain awaken to truth awaken to lies 020904 ... call_me_lydea a moment beyond thought, beyond anything. The end of a sentance. conveys feelings. A free flow of energy. 020914 ... stir-fried Maybe in the depths of space..... They tell me to achieve silence in order to progress.... silence the mind they say.... The trains, planes, automobiles (esp. the mobile disco types), road-workers, loud-mouthed citizens, birds, flies, wind, rain, hail, thunder, lightning and others have their own ideas.... Make it stop, make it stop, my brain hurts more trying to make it stop, wants it more to make it stop, is this part of the training? Then I start to feel the cool breeze across my naked flesh. 'Go away', a desperate plea as silence is disturbed once more. The endless thoughts perpetuating one after another, abstract and sensless dreams, crazy, insane. Can someone please show me the off button, no actually the stand-by mode. Ah shit, yet another thought to the break the silence, yet I know where I am heading now..... 020918 ... ~gez~ some find silence awkward. seomtimes i do, but when i'm with you it feels alright. i don't know why that is, i would have always thought i would feel really bad not talking to you silence that cuts through diamond 020919 ... kmontso ... 021001 ... donkdonk Rise and Shine!!! 021014 ... sarah mclachlin and delerium Give me release Witness me I am outside Give me peace Heaven holds a sense of wonder And I wanted to believe that I'd get caught up when the rage in me subsides Passion choke the flower Until she cries no more Possessing all the beauty Hungry still for more Heaven holds a sense of wonder And I wanted to believe that I'd get caught up when the rage in me subsides In this white wave, I am sinking, in this silence In this white wave, in this silence I believe I can't help this longing Comfort me I can't hold it all in If you won't let me Heaven holds a sense of wonder And I wanted to believe that I'd get caught up when the rage in me subsides In this silence I am sinking In this silence In this white wave In this silence I believe I have seen you in this white wave you were silent You are breathing in this white wave I am free 021128 ... End Is Forever Stand by the lake, shut your eyes, and think of me. I'm thinking of you too... 021213 ... sassy its better to be silent and thought a fool then speak and remove all doubt. 021220 ... ya SILENCE IS GOLDEN 021220 ... angie what were you thinking about? why couldn't you sleep? i got the feeling there was a reason behind it... something u maybe didn't want to bring up just now... hope u are alright 030101 ... that girl over there sometimes others do not understand mine. what can i say? nothing really. i'm currently going through another silent phase. i have nothing to say. i do, but i don't really have the passion to back it up. i don't like doing something half-assed. the fact of the matter is, that i will probably delete this blathe before i even click the 'blather' button. i begin strong, but then at the end, i'm thinking, oh who cares! i just feel rather blah, and no one can help me. nothing is even remotely interesting to me, and my mind is racing too much for me even to manage a few worthy phrases, so what's the point? i think i should make it a point to click the 'blather' button this time... click it! just click it and be done with it! but i'm bored with this already, and who cares anyway? just click the damn thing girl. no! ok then, at least sign your name...in the event you change your mind. what can it hurt? i did. now what? see this is getting idiotic by the minute. do i really want to post something like this? i am purposely posting my thoughts so that i have a firm reason NOT to post it...insane is not something i was to be remembered as. you wouldn't even want that?! you are a coward girl. just do it! shutup and fucking do it! i dare ya! i accept the dare, but before i click, i want to point out that this is a conversation worthy of Seinfeld. i have said absolutely nothing! you, or i, for that matter, are no more intelligent or enlightened for having read any of this. in fact, you are probably not even still reading, and if you are, then you are stupider if the word even exists! i'm just babbling. i'm babbling. i'm not posting this s...tuff! 030129 ... phil silence never whispers it never hints to you there is too much silence 030204 ... HairThief Silence is a precious thing. If I'm alone, the silence provides time to reflect, time to consider and generally get comfortable with myself with the complications and distractions of noise. If I'm with someone else and I can still accept silence then I've shared the above experience with another person. Of course, if you are thinking about the latest storyline in Eastenders or whether to get Burger King or Macdonalds then silence begins to lose it's value. 030204 ... Insat sometimes silence can be frightfully loud ... oh Eastenders is on tonight :0) 030204 ... Eowithien why is it called silence when you can still hear people whispering in the back of the auditorium? why is it called silence when you can still hear the whispering of the wind and leaves? i prefer to call it quiet. 030220 ... stardust silence isn't always a bad thing. sometimes silence can heal a lot more than words 030222 ... Grace *Nods.. 030429 ... Grace ..And sometimes..not.. 030429 ... giovanna I am sinking. In this silence. 030512 ... noetic silence is what happens when your heart pauses to breath 030512 ... onlyme we sit together just inches apart our souls joining. 030513 ... MuadDib words words words more words words words churning churning churning butter 030530 ... pjork horse + taco = glass of pee 030531 ... endless desire silence scares me more often than not living in such a big family with such a noisey life has raised me very accustomed and comforted by noise all the time. silence nearly always means something is wrong or you are alone. and i dont really like being alone either just because i so rarely was. but i am doing my best to be alright with the silence and find the beauty in it ive realized that some of life's greatest epiphanies are discovered in the silence of one's heart. . . though, id prefer the dancing of one's soul. to lovely music. filling halls and rooms and people. so despite my effort to understand the mystery in silence, it still leaves me trembling. 030531 ... Ambience I call you just to hear the sound of your voice, I never really know what to say to you besides "hi". So I just sit and feel silly while the silence between us grows wider and wider, until you have the courage to cut the only link I have to you... 030614 ... TriKrome I get stoned and listen to the silence and think stuff 030825 ... queen of darkness silence is impossible, because you can always hear yourself breathe... or maybe we are all dead 030825 ... queen of darkness silence is impossible, because you can always hear yourself breathe... or maybe we are all dead 030825 ... Sarah silence is weakness silence is strength stand up for yourself know when to Shut.Up. car rides and sleep times silence can be nothing I love you - -- - ---silence. can be everything sometimes it's shyness sometimes it's hate silence is mixed singnals silence is dead straight. It puts you in your fucking place. Silence - that fucking look on your face Ah geez shut the fuck up. I can't handle this silence. 030828 ... River Both deafening and enlightening... Silence is quite a controversial matter, and yet it is something we all internaly seek if but for a moment. 030923 ... Death of a Rose silence is between two clicks. 031011 ... ferret is golden... unfortunately for you, i don't like that color 031011 ... xyz it's all been said before. 031015 ... T in the silence of my inner soundproof room i scream for the lost of purity.. the lost of beauty... so easy i see them... they open their legs. the loss of silence, the loss of self.. the loss of respect. and a deep rage wells up within me..the enemy, so weak and disgusting. where are the womyn of my dreams? the pure ones? the ones untainted by a man's animal lust. 031104 ... Little Lost Riding Hood Silence is my solace when I am bleeding inside from the barborous venom of other people's callousness... I crave silence in the wake of his anger, crashing down apon me, springing like a tiger on my every move, every movement.... My cave that I climb inside is dark and warm. I am untroubled there like a return to the womb. A blanket of no sound descends and I am left with my thoughts....this place is called silence and I treasure it as my own. x 031104 ... pansy Come here say nothing more is to say than silence but say nothing just trust and look into my eyes where everything is written and it is all for you 040127 ... Lemon_Soda Two ears, one mouth, my friends. 040127 ... falling_alone and i couldn't hear anything. the winter night was crisp and fresh, you know what i mean. one deep breath was all it took. the sky hid the moon from me and the cloudy sky seemed to glow. and i couldn't hear anything. until i took one step, and i could hear the snow crunch beneath my feet. i wanted to stay outside forever in that one moment, relive that one instant. it was calm, staring at the sky, and i forgot everything, straining to hear a voice or sound in the distance. but i couldn't hear anything. 040127 ... oldephebe "...knew a man, while back...said he was from jenkintown or sumpin lak dat. He was more oiler than a heaping plate a doritoes wilting under six ounces of steaming viscuous sludge..think they call it cheese whiz or sumpin'. Talk about intestinal imbroglio whew! Man this cat was always talkin' glad handin' mackin' smiling, holding everything, the potentials of every action in suspension to determine the least angle of resitance. Liked to puff out his considerable chest and call himself a sales manager or an entrepreneur. He was a rat, with a penchant for betrayal and scheming that would make a rat slink away in shame. well sir, this fellows kryptonite was silence. Hated to listen to his conscience. Had to keep movin' lest those dregs of decency in him congeal and uh chew little holes in his shark suit of armor..." bottom blackened ash tray chronicles 040127 ... truncate that to just ash tray chronicles 040128 ... ethereal within one. underlying visions. different types. different sizes. happy kinds. sad kinds. mediocre kinds. necessary ones. heartless ones. silence is inside you. it speaks to you when it wants. hides when you feel you need it. shows up when you're done with quiet. but silence knows what's best. there in your heart it waits. basks in knowledge. of your life. your journey. your history. it'll whisper to you in crowds. yell at you in a library. follow you head to toe. top to bottom. it loves you. it protects to you. listen. 040218 ... ethereal within one. underlying visions. different types. different sizes. happy kinds. sad kinds. mediocre kinds. necessary ones. heartless ones. silence is inside you. it speaks to you when it wants. hides when you feel you need it. shows up when you're done with quiet. but silence knows what's best. there in your heart it waits. basks in knowledge. of your life. your journey. your history. it'll whisper to you in crowds. yell at you in a library. follow you head to toe. top to bottom. it loves you. it protects you. listen. 040218 ... jake perfection through silence 040218 ... zeke into which breath thunders all motion is geologic the gain at max proportion flattens an aural picture plane saturated colored sound air moves under it all i know it's motion on my skin in silence 040219 ... Eowithien Sitting in it, I find myself lost in thoughts. For me, thats a dangerous place to be. Lying it, I find myself drifting close to sleep; a place that I long for every minute of my consciousness. But I still prefer to call it quiet. 040224 ... Jenson Kerr Strolling in the neverending mists, A white rabbit jumps To which way, one cannot be certain The snow is blinding. A Deafening sound is heard A Child laughs. Crash. Nothing. The blackness of night is softened by the ever seeing eyes. Knowing all. In Silence they wait. 040301 ... scorpion heart when the silence comes i cringe against the nothingness evil swirls around my head clouds darken my thoughts im alone, its quiet the angels above aren't talking the cold the death the silent grips its fingers around the words and pulls them away leaving silence 040321 ... moi un reve people cannot understand how i need silence, yet also need sound. music keeps me sane, but speaking drives me crazy. so many people talk just to hear themselves speak. whatever they say means nothing, they are talking just to make noise. 040321 ... pete reaching into the sky in the silence between the notes i hope not to his the invisible barrier between me and you. i know my destination, but know not why nor how. trying to fly i forget how to land, making the entire enterprise a loud as the silence between the notes. words can say so much and not necassarily be wrong. they can be so mute, and yet so true. tears don't fall, but are the food which i subside on, here in narbariuk where the gales of november do not come. my shirts are beginning to wear thin. am i their second, third, or fourth carrier? and why did they always seem never to give in. explorations and more, so much more, fit into the silence between the notes. voices shout, scream, debate, argue, become enraged during this silences. they boil and cry the tears i need to subside.. oh come back and let the dawn try again, and i wont fly high and fall down like icarus. i will not introduce the vine to the men and be murdered like icarus, and my daughter will not hang. the silence between the notes resonates and grows as the silence comes to an end and begins yet again.... 040331 ... love & hate Silence does not exist in my head as it is never quiet, never still enough for me to relax and just breathe. That is all i want, to just breathe, in silence. I had silence when i was with you, looking into your eyes, i was in another world. A world i never wanted to leave. Now i have been forced into this world full of silence from you and everything else from me. I feel the pain, i feel the hurt, i feel the lonliness, i feel the emptiness, i feel the darkness surrounding me and the scary feeling is, i hear it. It comes to me, when i'm alone. The voices, the songs, the words i dont want to hear. The music that fills my head, music of death, music of lost love, music of emptiness, music without you. Silence is never an option for my head keeps going, keeps thinking, keeps speaking to me. I am drowning in this silence, i am breathing it in and it is choking me. Suffocating me until it fills my entire body. I cant breathe anymore, i cant sleep anymore, i cant live anymore, i cant be silent anymore. You have broken that silence, and it is raging and wild, something i cannot control or contain. I hear it all the time, the silence that haunts me and follows me everywhere. The silence that will bring me to my death. Without you, this silence will be victorious and claim yet another life in its cold, clammy hands that cover my eyes and thoughts. 040425 ... pete the silence of our embrace is mind numbingly beautiful 040425 ... emmi there is silence where there hath been no sound. in the cold grave, beneath the deep dark sea..... (or something along those lines) 040427 ... spiffy silence is the most beautiful sound, but the worst companion. 040622 ... doesitmatter can't live with it can't live without it 040623 ... cherise when i turn the tv off, i hear the lights buzzing. when i turn the lights off, i hear the cicadas outside. when i close the window, i hear my breaths. when i stop breathing, uh. 040629 ... gemaniacal inaudible I heard it its why I fell in love with her in the first place 041210 ... suicidalchinadoll He was the first person I have met who was comfortable with my silence. I love you because you're so fucked up you don't understand yourself. and I'm sorry that this makes it just that much worse. 041210 ... Gall0ws SIlence is a dealy note. 050504 ... z the holder of time passing. the last thing you hear before sleep. the threshhold of the audible. the sound of entropy resting. order. the space between notes. phaze cancellation. room tone. 050505 ... snarl. you cant ipod dance to silence. 050609 ... jordie What do we believe. What can we believe. What is real and tangible and strong. What comes next? In the darkness of death we cannot guess its path. What comes after? In the cold gusts of guilt we commit murder. A collection of essence is what we are and nothing more. 060516 ... jordie crazy 060516 ... emmi i think the thing i miss most about my home country is silence... i dont know how to describe it, but i've never found anything like it anywhere else. 060516 ... angie i love alex grey 070508 ... hee hee! well good for you ! 070509 ... IGG there's a book, called if_nobody_speaks_of_remarkable_things in which the opening scene is incredibly well-written, in my opinion. it discusses that brief pause in a city, in the early hours, where for maybe a few seconds, everything is silent. i will post the opening section, which i am studying as part of a practice English Lit paper in preparation for my exams in a few weeks. ____________________________________ 'If Nobody Speaks Of Remarkable Things' by Jon McGregor. If you listen, you can hear it. The city, it sings. If you stand quietly, at the foot of a garden, in the middle of a street, on the roof of a house. It’s clearest at night, when the sound cuts more sharply across the surface of things, when the song reaches out to a place inside you. It’s a wordless song, for the most, but it’s a song all the same, and nobody hearing it could doubt what it sings. And the song sings the loudest when you pick out each note. The low soothing hum of air-conditioners, fanning out the heat and the smells of shops and cafes and offices across the city, winding up and winding down, long breaths layered upon each other, a lullaby hum for tired streets. The rush of traffic still cutting across flyovers, even in the dark hours a constant rush of sound, tyres rolling across tarmac and engines rumbling, loose drains and manhole covers clack-clacking like cast-iron castanets. Road-menders mending, choosing the hours of least interruption, rupturing the cold night air with drills and jack-hammers and pneumatic pumps, hard-sweating beneath the fizzing hiss of floodlights, shouting to each other like drummers in rock bands calling out rhythms, pasting new skin on the veins of the city. Restless machines in workshops and factories with endless shifts, turning and pumping and steaming and sparking, pressing and rolling and weaving and printing, the hard crash and ring and clatter lifting out of echo-high buildings and sifting into the night, an unaudited product beside the paper and cloth and steel and bread, the packed and the bound and the made. Lorries reversing, right round the arc of industrial parks, it seems every lorry in town is reversing, backing through gateways, easing up ramps, shrill-calling their presence while forklift trucks gas and prang around them, heaping and stacking and loading. And all the alarms, calling for help, each district and quarter, each street and estate, each every way you turn has alarms going off, coming on, going off, coming on, a hammered ring like a lightning drum-roll, like a mesmeric bell-toll, the false and the real as loud as each other, crying their needs to the night like an understaffed orphanage, babies waawaa-ing in darkened wards. Sung sirens, sliding through the streets, streaking blue light from distress to distress, the slow wail weaving urgency through the darkest of the dark hours, a lament lifted high, held above the rooftops and fading away, lifted high, flashing past, fading away. And all these things sing constant, the machines and the sirens, the cars blurting hey and rumbling all headlong, the hoots and the shouts and the hums and the crackles, all come together and rouse like a choir, sinking and rising with the turn of the wind, the counter and solo, the harmony humming expecting more voices. So listen. Listen, and there is more to hear. The rattle of a dustbin lid knocked to the floor. The scrawl and scratch of two hackle-raised felines. The sudden thundercrash of bottles emptied into crates. The slam-slam of car doors, the changing of gears, the hobbled hip-hop of a slow walk home. The rippled roll of shutters pulled down on late-night cafes, a crackled voice crying street names for taxis, a loud scream that lingers and cracks into laughter, a bang that might just be an old car backfiring, a callbox calling out for an answer, a treeful of birds tricked into morning, a whistle and a shout and a broken glass, a blare of soft music and a blam of hard beats, a barking and yelling and singing and crying and it all swells up the rumbles and crashes and bangings and slams, all the noise and the rush and the non-stop wonder of the song of the city you can hear if you listen the song and it stops in some rare and sacred dead time, sandwiched between the late sleepers and the early risers, there is a miracle of silence. Everything has stopped. And silence drops down from out of the night, into this city, the briefest of silences, like a falter between heartbeats, like a darkness between blinks. Secretly, there is always at this moment, an unexpected pause, a hesitation as one day is left behind and a new one begins. A catch of breath as gasometer lungs between slow exhalations. A ring of tinnitus as thermostats interrupt air-conditioning fans. These moments are there, always, but they are rarely noticed and they rarely last longer than a flicker of thought. We are in that moment now, there is silence and the whole city is still. The old tall-windowed mills, staggered across the skyline, they are silent, they are keeping their ghosts and their thoughts to themselves. The smoked-glass offices, slung low to the ground, they are still, they are blankly reflecting the haze and shine of the night. Soon, they will resume their business, their coy whispers of ones and zeroes across networks of threaded glass, but now, for a moment, they are hushed. The buses in the depot, waiting for a new day, they are quiet, their metalwork easing and shrinking into place, settling and cooling after eighteen hours of heat and noise, eighteen hours of criss-crossing the city like wool on a loom. And the clubs in the centre, they are empty, the dance-floors sticky and sore from a night’s pounding, the lights still turning and blinking, lost shoes and wallets and keys gathered in heaps. And the night-fishers strung out along the canal, feeling the sing of their lines in the water, although they are within yards of each other they are saying nothing, watching luminous floats hang in the night like bottled fireflies, waiting for the dip and strike which will bring a centre to their time here, waiting for the quietness and calm they have come here to find. Even the traffic scattered through these streets: the taxis and the cleaners, the shift-workers and the delivery drivers, even they are held still in this moment, trapped by traffic lights which synchronize red as the system cycles from old day to new, hundreds of feet resting on accelerators, hundreds of pairs of eyes hanging on the lights, all waiting for the amber, all waiting for the green. The whole city has stopped. And this is a pause worth savouring, because the world will soon be complicated again. It’s the briefest of pauses, with not time enough to even turn full circle and look at the lights this city throws out to the sky, and it’s a pause which is easily broken. A slamming door, a car alarm, a thin drift of music from half a mile away, and already the city is moving on, already tomorrow is here. The music is coming from a curryhouse near the football ground, careering out of speakers placed outside to attract extra custom. The restaurant is almost empty, a bhindi masala in one corner, a special korma in the other, and the carpark is deserted except for a young couple standing with their arms around each other’s waists. They’ve not been a couple long, a few days perhaps, or a week, and they are both still excited and nervous with desire and possibility. They’ve come here to dance, drawn sideways from heir route home by the music and by bravado, and now they are hesitating, unsure of how to begin, unfamiliar with the steps, embarrassed. But they do begin, and as the first smudges of light steep into the sky from the east, from the far side of the city and in towards these streets, they hold their heads high and their back straight and step together in time to the slide and wheel of the music. They dance with a style more suited to the ballroom than to the bollywood movies the music comes from, but they dance all the same, hips swinging, waists touching, eyes fixed on eyes. The waiters have come across to the window, they are laughing, they are calling uncle uncle to the man in the kitchen who is finally beginning to clean up after a long night. They dance, and he steps out of the door to watch, wiping his hands on his apron, licking the weary tips of his fingers, pulling at his long beard. They dance, and he smiles and nods and thinks of his wife sleeping at home, and thinks of when they were young and might still have done something like this. Elsewhere, across the city, the day is beginning with a rush and a shout, the fast whine of office hoovers, the locked slam of the early shifts. But here, as the dawn sneaks up on the day of summer, and as a man with tired hands watches a young couple dance in the carpark of his restaurant, there are only these: sparkling eyes, smudged lipstick, fading starlight, the crunching of feet on gravel, laughter, and a slow walk home. ______________________________________ I liked this extract a lot. 070511 ... Apple Eating Heathen I can totally bitch_slap you with silence. 080604 ... man with noise once upon a time there was man. man invented noise. an addiction he simply can't live without. 081012 ... unhinged it is never really quiet the birds chitter the traffic swooshes the trucks beep my mind stirs 130730 ... unhinged and every now and then a hum_hum_hum bubbles to the top 130730 ... blah nobody values it 130731 ... no reason the worst punishment 140815 ... flowerock worst punishment indeed... feeling like you are not even worth a thought let alone words or time. I try to remember to break silent punishment with hugs or non word friendly actions... but sometimes I'm just silent right back. true silence is really rare, especially with a constant ringing tone in your ears. 140815 what's it to you? who go blather from