disturbed ZZzzZz.. I am continually disturbed by the illusion of my own existence... but am forever enchanted by the uncertainty of reality... Does this disturb you too? 030620 ... endless desire oh it does. i have been thinking a lot about reality lately, and even more, about assumptions. we are assuming something is there or it is real, but is it? i mean, we could say, "well i can feel it" but that is only your senses telling you that. couldn't your brain completely lie to you? is my whole world just my brain's game? a funny game and all of the people are figments of my imagination. like a dream. a dream where i create my obstacles and challenges and situations. but in dreams, you rarely know you are dreaming. maybe this is one of those rare occurences where i can tell i am dreaming. i just don't know how to take advantage of it. i mean, where would you awake to outside of your own reality. would you even want to? you might if you were having a nightmare. i guess it gives new light to a person who is in a living_nightmare. and what if i could manipulate this dream? what if i am the master of my own life. but then wait, aren't i? when did i start believing i wasn't? i swear to god we are living in the matrix. don't mind me. i'll just be sitting in the corner. they'll point at me and laugh under their breath. then whisper to their date and ask, "is that the girl who went crazy? is that the girl who is debating which pill to take? does she know it's just a movie? some people." and i will sway. and laugh at their ignornace. 030620 ... god you all need to get some "do not disturb" signs and put them 'round your necks. 030620 ... zZZzzZZzz.. i feel disturbed right now, as though there is something eating away at my mind and sanity. disturbed because it feels like today is just another daydream, another moment lost to another time and space. ever been called a sick twisted disturbed little girl? as you describe what it would be like to strangle another person of the human race? the disturbed bit was true.. if only they knew.. i was just never seriuos about strangling that person though.. i would prefer a prolonged death of blood and gore before i'd choose to strangle them! 030723 what's it to you? who go blather from