memories typhoid all these memories.. will be lost.. in time. all these memories.. fragments of information, taken out of context, jumbled around and rebuilt into a new metaphor for existence. memories to go. i bet you've already forgotten. 000623 ... silvre can't combine to create a future. living in the past gets me nowhere. i have to create a new destiny every moment and let memories live in picture-books. 000803 ... lizard my wanton eyes speak of your smile in a language i never understood (except in that place that i don't touch hidden in the back of my mind) i avoid mirrors for fear of the hollow pupils i have found as my own. the ephemeral presence of you strikes me if i lie still and with all of the hope that i can scrape from my soul i wish for your presence again. i am greeted by my silence, but the memory of you never leaves me.. 000926 ... Mel-Maegamarth My mind, is full, of you/you dont want me/Take me, I beg/You dont want me Love-girl-pain-me I obsess into your eyes/You look into mine]Can you not seeI want youI need youI wont be with out you 000928 ... sabbie and my memories are like water and i cant remember what we did yesterday and all time dissovles into one and i have only ever lived last week but wandering around blather little memories like little daisy butterflies flutter around my head and i catch them carefully and spread their petals gently to show me their heart and its like experencing for the first time, all over again the things i have done and i commit what they tell me and i dream out loud by posting my poems here. 001204 ... abms haunt me 010330 ... katie legacy of life from the ruins memories of life from the echoes blood of the earth the tainted forest legacy messenger after all 010331 ... c i remember the time i sat with you in the chapel, and i was crying, and suddenly and totally unexpectedly you laid my head on your shoulder and put your arm around me. we just sat there for what seemed like hours, with me just crying and you just sitting. i will never ever forget that, it will be a memory that will be there forever. 010331 ... david streever memories of tomorrow and yesterday never my dreams are my own and i will fight for them such a vivid dreamer such a tired waker don't think you can save me by cutting of my dreams don't think you can save me by killing my dreams my dreams are more real than you are you could die if it'd meant i'd keep my dreams my dreams are my life and i would kill for them i would rather rule in hell then serve in heaven i would rather cling to falsehoods than let your truths destroy my dreams i would rather be in pain then lose my dreams i am my dreams i am my dreams i am my dreams i am my dreams 010411 ... Becky Memories: Of waking up and days anew Of sleeping in And friendly few. Of laughing softly and crying more Of holding closely And open doors. Of endless lives and lively ends Of dreamy nights And thoughtless trends. Of greener pastures and open skies Of life and death And broken Lies. 010417 ... Rayne memories are what keep you alive in my mind and in my heart. They are what cause me to remember what we had and how I lost you. If these memories didn't exist would I not miss you? Would I forget you? Would I no longer love you? If loving you hurts, let me be in pain. Let my heart remember how I love you! 010419 ... like rain. after we've faced such emptiness, can things be the same? can you ever speak to me with the same certainty of heart? and, if you do, can i believe you? 010430 ... skg memories held in my heart so i could always be with you i don't want to let them go... 010517 ... cludgefucker My brain seems to have intentionally fogged up most of the more unpleasant ones. Fuck you, brain. 010517 ... nocturnal dude, I told you I was perfectly willing to give you the other half as well. wanna rethink your rejection? offer still stands and will remain until I have to go back to school. 010517 ... snow_angel We got really high and decided it would be a nice gesture to wash her dads car. So we put the money into the car wash and began to slowly pull ahead. The water rushed on and we realized that the windows were STILL OPEN. I was Laughing harder than i ever have before, and everyone was screaming as they frantically rolled up the windows. It said to pull ahead, and She pushed down on the accelerator and we sped ahead.... I was still laughing my ass off as we jerked the car back and forth, trying to get our moneys worth without fucking up. within a minute of entering though, the "please exit slowly" sign lit up and our car was still covered in soapy foam. We ended up having to go through again, this tyme a LITTLE more cautiously. All that for nothing, except one hell of a funny memory. 010605 ... forever of what. Of crying, of fights, of beign mad at eachother, of not talking, of nothgin. is that what i am supposed tohave memiories of becuase that's what i do. i know that there was smiles, and laughter but i don't remember. 010613 ... echo PL i went to pet a hampster and it bit my finger wipped my finger out but it was still hanging on and i ended up lonching it across the room untill it hit the wall, i felt so bda but it was teh funiest thing, everyone was laughing, my finger was gushing blood and the nurse got pissed at me cuz i was touching a rodent 010824 ... echo sorry im dislexic 010824 ... kerry i wish i could go back and erase all of the memories i don't like. i would erase you and me at the creek and you insulting me and the one where your mother made my mom cry and the one where you told your mom all these lies about me and i would erase your brother being mean to my little brother's friends and i would erase you calling that little boy gay maybe you all together. 011209 ... student another name of a local strip joint 011209 ... whoknows remember_a_day 011209 ... kitten on drugs that's all we have...but for all the good, that one bad memory will widen the gap between us for the rest of our days. hold on to the good memories...and start making some new ones without me 020101 ... Aaron small but happy memories briefly pass me by, but i don't hold on to them... a lover gone away... but some of the memories still remain.. will i feel hurt if i hold onto them.. or will they make me depressed as i let them go.. if i hold on... i still think of her.. if i let them go.. do i push myself away.. 020316 ... yummychuckle andrew smiling. 020316 ... BS Memories, it so easy to leave me... 020406 ... reitoei some we want and lose. some we hate and keep. and some are just obscure, poping at odd times, triggered by some unknown element of our minds 020406 ... silentbob on the almost_famous dvd commentary cameron crowe said that the scene where anita leaves home to become a stewardess, the whole look of that scene, what she was wearing, how she had curlers in her hair... it was all based on this photograph he had of her the day his sister left home. i liked the idea of a scene based on a photograph. Practically the whole movie. 020406 ... Arwyn I don't expect anyone to read this, much less take it seriously, but I need write this, so please forgive me..... I must have been eight or nine when mom brought him home... He was this tan and black ball of hair. All excited to have a home. We named him wolfie short for Wolfgang Amadeus... we're a musical family I suppose you could say. He was like a little brother. He had to sleep in my room and he had to be in the bathroom if I was taking a shower and growled if he heard anyone coming near it. We would wrestle.. and play together... he would sit on my feet to keep them warm in winter and beg for scraps during dinner. He was like a little brother... almost. We watched out for each other. He would supervise my work in the garden.. he was wonderful at it. Today, I got a really bad call about him. My mother told me he is going to be hit by a car. Which is code for he's going to be put to sleep. He's my dog.. my baby. And I'm never to see him again. He's never going to greet me at the door when I come home this summer for a visit. She won't even let me come home to be with him. She's not going to be there and my puppy is going to die alone, or worse he's going to die, with someone who's not family. I can't believe this is happening... my baby boy, just going to die. And I know this sounds so incredibly odd. But I grew up with him. He's been there for me/with me for almost 10 years, and nothing hurts more than knowing that i won't get to see him just once more. I'm sorry... *sobs* 020503 ... stacey memories are what enjoy most about my life, my friend past away a year ago and all those memories are still with me. all those times that we wpould call eachother up and tell eachother what we thought about the boy next door. I just wish i could have more! 020511 ... Kate My worst childhood memory occured on a very sunny Saturday when I was about 4 or 5. I remember my dad taking my brother and I up to Westlake to visit my grandfather, and then he decided to take all of us to his work so he could pick up a piece of equipment he needed. The building consisted of offices, and then a huge warehouse sort of building with lots of big machinery and shelves, and it was dark inside because my dad only turned on a few of the lights since we were the only ones there. My dad took us all into the warehouse. I was walking slowly or turned to look at something else, and the next moment, I was alone in this huge, dark warehouse. I called for my dad and ran all around trying to find them, but they were no where to be found. Finally I found an exit door and sat in front of the car outside in the sun, crying. I was so afraid that I would never find them, and I would be stuck all alone in a scary part of Cleveland to me. After a while, the three of them came out and consoled me. As a result, I was terrified at night when my mom would turn my shutters on the windows so that they made shadows against the wall of my bedroom, because they reminded me of that dark warehouse. It was a long time before I could erase that fear! 020511 ... Who Am i??????????????????? I don't have any 020616 ... kerry a log of all the things that have happened to me if i could i would forget all the unpleasant ones somehow, they are the memories that like to stick with me the most 020616 ... devalis they run through my veins and keep my heart pumping, but it skips a beat reminded of why we're not making more. 020818 ... sylvia plath maybe forgetfulness, like a kind snow, should numb and cover them. but they were part of me. they were my landscape. 020912 ... spiderweb he gave me memories. lots of them. i can even conjure up his voice to go with those bits of fleeting euphoria. i can see us spending the next fifty years together. (what he really meant was the next 8 months) once i got him to drive to a dark dirt road where nobody was around and take off our clothes and do naked cartwheels down the road. he got me stoned for the first time. he liked to push his opinion on me that stoners were so much more sophisticated than drunks for some reason. he really did everything he could to make me feel inferior to him. we waltzed across my best friend's front yard once. he used to make me tapes. one of them was called Music for You and it had songs like i just want you from ozzy and stinkfist from tool on it. i still don't know about the stinkfist bit and exactly what he was trying to say to me. he looked nice dressed up in his suit and trenchcoat for prom. but i also enjoyed him in his jeans and tshirts. he would never take off his socks. in the two years we dated i saw his feet twice. once i absconded with his sock after much struggling and the other time was in the shower although he commonly showered with me in his socks. he didn't think i was beautiful. and he told me that. but he liked my smile. he said he'd always be there with me. he also said he cried when he EMAILED me to break up. that's probably a lie. because he lied again when he said he didn't cheat. but even after 2 years 9 months and 4 days i still remember the first time we kissed. and i still would like to kick him in the balls. 021219 ... Nathan88 being asked b a division one linebacker not if but who i played football for...that was cool cuz i dont even play how'd you see that? theres no way u saw that! no one on the bench or in the crowd even thought that pass was possible ((last baksetball game (tear)) i miss playin sports...but i think id miss partyin more 030113 ... sarah keep my heart weighted down...so much so that i cant move on from the past...i just have this fear...a fear of letting go 030311 ... phil it's interesting remembering my life, my recolection has slowly been improving for the past couple of years. It makes me feel better. 030327 ... Scorshie Yesterday I realized I can't find My first memory Can one really know the very first from the other first fifty or so? 030513 ... delial when they seep into my mind sometimes they fill me with joy you know, the kind of joy that paints a smile across your face and you don't even realize it's there until someone inquires as to the reasoning behind the grin and you fall back into reality sometimes they leave me with an empty feeling a growl in my stomach I try to hide but am unable to muffle it's a hunger i can only ignore anymore sometimes i'm left wondering 'what if' 'wouldacouldashoulda' [something you shouldn't ever let into your mind, I know] you can't go back and rectify things that have already been covered and buried, right? unless you want to risk ever more dismal results by digging up the past but it happens to me pretty often i dwell too much in the past you're a broken link in the chain I wear around my neck and when i'm worried and I run my fingers along the length of it looking for some sort of comfort counting each bead, each braid, each twist and turn, each facet i'm reminded of you by the scratches that are left across my fingertips or something like that. 030723 ... Fire&Roses I built my castle on the edge of Elysium and I chased my firefly memories through the hazy mists surronding those golden fields. Shining so briefly as I sought for them and fading again in a moment leaving me alone again. Some shone so bright that in their light I was alive again and some lights were gray and dull. I chased my fireflys aching for their light in this field of endless night and dreading what would happen should I catch one. 030724 ... andyness I can't help but be bombarded by the past. I don't know why it happens so much. some say that it happens if you're not satisfied with the life that you are living. I know it's not that... I'm happy with what I am for now... I still can't seem to figure out why. 030827 ... delial "meeeeeeemories, on the corner of my mind ... scattered pictures of the way we werrrre..." Big was a cool movie. 030827 ... x you can fix that shit with enough poison 030828 ... camille http://www.helloland.co.uk/webdemographic/media/theory_media/memories.swf 030926 ... u24 sad times. happy memories. isn't it funny how your brain looks at the past like it's a refelection in a pool; indistinct fragmented images and emotions rippling up and away into nothing, when at the time they were so pure, so clear, so unrestrained. apathy. isn't it funny. yeah. fucking hillarious. 031114 ... ferret she cuts and she scratches to get rid of the pain you've caused she sits back and she watches as tears stream down her face to the floor and all she ever wanted was a little comfort and warmth the scars and the bruises like midnight maps to her memories illuminated against the trees and all she ever wanted was just a little comfort and peace and all she ever wanted was just a little comfort and peace it's all she ever it's all she ever wanted it's all she ever it's all she ever wanted it's all she ever it's all she ever wanted just to be free from this pain... 031114 ... danica i remember hurting so much. giving and giving and expecting there'd be something left of myself, and in fact that i'd be more of a person. bleeding to keep alive, sleepless with failure, bitter with loss and love and a combination of both. denial of everything i had become, i'd smile as i was diagnosed again and again and again... i'd smile in the hospital. where jacqui swallowed things. checker pieces, pen caps, med cups, switchplate fragments, anything to make her disappear, she said. i'd sit in the corner behind the generic wood bed that jessica the liar set up for me and cry and cry and cry. and mary ellen saw the green marker cross i drew on my ankle sticking out and thought i'd tried to tattoo myself. and i wanted to laugh but all i could do those months was cry. i'd cry for the past and impossibilities, and love, and lack thereof, the future, the emptiness i felt, the pain i felt and inflicted. but i never cried for help. and thats never what i wanted. i took of my shoelaces, and one day i fell on my head off the monkeybars for the pediatric kids. the waffle kid. we laughed cause he scarfed down waffles in the cafeteria. valencia yelled at us, and we got cafeteria privileges taken away for a day. but really, we looked to laugh or feel anything, just to forget. (i apologize for this all, guys. it just kinda came out) 031204 ... xyz dead dreams 031207 ... falling_alone things that i can never remember...please refresh my memory... 031207 ... Mandijabster J: Whaddya looking at that for...you don't have any good times. R: I have lots of good times! J: Name one... R: *pauses to think* umm...I can't remember any in order to have memories or good times...you need to remember them. (elephant brain transfusions) 031207 ... Adam With each passing second, we forget to remember what was now, and we experience what is about to be then. Our memories feign authenticity, and even our expectations wear an amorphous mask of accuracy. And now the mask subsides to reveal the fleeting truth. And then it's gone. Or was it ever there in the first? How long have we been here? Are we here yet? All we have are our memories. How easily we forget ourselves. 040130 ... paper heart She told me, blessed are the peacemakers. 040514 ... luvvy we try to hold onto memories because they make us smile... we try to forget because they make us cry... but memories are all forgotten...a story is passed down from generation to generation until one person doesn't care...then it's forgotten. 040929 ... Staind_And_Souless Of you. Of us. Killing me. Loving you. Wnating you here. Now 041025 ... barbra MEMORiES... like the corners of my mind Misty water-colored memories Of the way we were Scattered pictures, Of the smiles we left behind Smiles we gave to one another For the way we were Can it be that it was all so simple then? Or has time re-written every line? If we had the chance to do it all again Tell me, would we? could we? Memoriiies, may be beautiful and yet What’s too painful to remember We simply choose to forget So it’s the laughter We will remember Whenever we remember... The way we were... The way we were... 050124 ... tyler whether sad or happy, they are always necessary although they bring pain, they are a part of everything, and although you may want them erased, you cannot erase a part of yourself 050419 ... anomalous more than i thought i thought, i think 050419 ... almost doesnt count Will you remember when I'm gone? Will you keep the memories and hold on to the leftover wisps? If my memory serves me right... It was three months ago today. Tell me Will you remember? Will you keep the memories? 050421 ... roy batty lost like tears in rain 050421 ... rachael have you ever retired a human by mistake deckard? 050421 ... j f sebastian i made them. they're my friends. 050421 ... Zoe memories of what we used to be. we were so in love, and determined to make it work. now we fight all the time. neither of us love each other anymore. why can't we just let it go? why can't i just let you go? those damn memories of how it once was, and how it could be again maybe? 050422 ... bellyfire "Can't they just be pictures of old times, reminders of people and places that made you happy once? Can't you just look at them and remember how it was?" I find that I cannot... 060210 ... Dragonflye Memories accumulate over a lifetime. Children have very few, and for the most part, they’re happy. The older we get, the more they burden us. Maybe memories dull for a reason. Maybe we can only take so much. They say some people die of old age, but I wonder— could it really be from the buildup of memory? (Deposits clogging synapses instead of arteries, filling us until we live in it, and then become it; death joining us to the ghosts we’ve always held within.) 060528 ... Syrope at dinner we talked about the old days...when i was young. my brother insisted on staying home by himself, but i always had to go with my parents. wherever we went, if i got a treat or some candy, i would insist on picking one out for him, back home. all he ever did was steal from me and humiliate me in front of his friends...and mine, actually...but i continued to put his best interests first. then my mom commented "your daddy? the same way. was always thinking of himself" and i felt like i might cry. maybe the reason i block so many memories is that if i really realized the patterns i have gotten myself into, i wouldn't have a reason to go on, to keep trying. i see how futile it all is, i do. 080813 ... In_Bloom Cherishing what has been good in my life is excitement for the now and a push into the future 081031 ... lantaren So maybe that trip down memory lane was a terrible idea! Some things are better left forgotten. Also the more things change, the more they stay the same apparently... 201112 what's it to you? who go blather from