loss a person it's when something changes in your life, probably the presence of a person or a place...a thing that was an active part of who you actually are. when you are ready to recover from your loss, you shift the structures of your psyche...fully knowing that it will never be the same. 990819 ... senser I never had it in the first place. But when things go missing, you can't help but notice, as if the soft caress of an autumn wind has somehow blown the leaves to slightly different arrangements on the ground. Hell yeah, this is real, you want the whole story? Quickly then . . . Club, Girl, Drugs, House, Sofa, Drugs, Bed, talking ;- And that's when I find out she's carrying the soon-to-be-dead son of a man I've known for ten years. Yes, loss is a funny thing, it can affect you for the better or for the worse, but me? I'd have been happiest if I'd at least got to have it for a while. 000523 ... kate "a butterfly ring i gave to a killer i met in the plaza" 001110 ... tit how can you grieve a loss of something that was never yours? something that was never real? like her love. if she has no soul, if she is empty, then how can i be so sad and grieve the loss of her affection? i am insane? 010314 ... Adara i feel a loss though i have lost none feeling for those yet to come he is gone, or shall i say will be? my mind exists in a duality of times contriction at the core of me block the passage of my peace for he is gone, or will be 010624 ... angie a lot of times i feel like i am at a loss for worlds. especially when i am around the four. when they hurt me. i dont talk. they get concerned. but theyre the ones that have hurt me in the first place. its a bad cycle. i just...dont feel like saying anything to them sometimes. cuz its pointless i guess. but i dont know. 020510 ... ben sand we are sitting here waiting to go to bloomsday, and its fucking hot outside. we seem to have forgotten where we are, we are at loss with our surroundings. 020709 ... king kong NINJA i was in a world brimming with broad shoulders and purpose. there was only one type of smile, all others were above or below my graps. there were songs playing on the radio. I would trade wonder for ownership as days went by. the sky sometimes was blindingly blue. colors bled into one another quicker than i could name them, boundries rose and broke in clouds, fences holding in dragons and wolves. the stairs creaked heavy. the father was home. there were no other fathers. strange subordinant men would sometimes speak to him, casually laughing or pointing at something in the distance they no doubt were asking him about. One day clouds break out all over the sky. It could've happened many days but i paid attention this day. the father died and his eyes fell to the bottom of a puddle, like the drawing i dropped had earlier in the day. The final face i had never seen, it was still, and pale, i looked down upon it for the first time he was waiting for me to be done. The face momentarily became mine. i look out for something. mother nods and i imitate her motions. i don't know what comes before this face or if it is always the same. Am i making the face that comes before it? i don't know if there is any way to tell, any way to look at it so the loss seems slow like clouds are slow. sometimes there has been a dragon in the clouds all along and you frighten yourself noticing it too suddenly. 030429 ... once again I'm at loss. I can say nothing to change or fix, words are just words. I have lost before, many things, my hamster, my goldfish, my house key, your phone number. I cannot speak, the pain hovers in my chest. I am at a loss. 030904 ... mon everybody wins 040319 ... Corey And some know a pain so deep. You dont want to taste the smoke from their ashes. 040412 ... ethereal When I lose you to her it'll be a loss. 040412 ... noname in every loss, there is somebody who gains. 040525 ... pete i read yesterday in "White Plague" by Frank Herbert that each true Celtic victory needs a deep sense of loss or defeat or profound sorrow. 040526 ... anna I want to tell him every day how much I miss him 041217 ... sirflaccid Everyday it seems more like my life will be nothing more than a constant roller coaster of gain and loss. I lost her, I am loosing him, and I have lost myself. 050104 ... Freak you will never be able to hold on to anything if you haven't found yourself first. 050105 ... sirflaccid I found myself once. There was a beautiful girl that helped me along the way. But when we got to the place where I was hiding she decided there wasn't enough drama to keep her amused. So she ran away. This made me re-think the idea of being me. Because obviously, he's not what they really want. 050106 ... kelc it thrives through my vains and everytime an emotional scab is picked it bleeds out of me.. 050204 ... Carly-Jo Staring at you, watching me Your touch like whispers across my skin Intensity building as you caress Stirring feelings from deep down within I’d give you my soul if your smile were mine I’d take nothing else of yours for my own To be the one who is there the minute you fall I’d ensure that you’re never alone When we kiss it’s like my pulse is electric The sparks fly from deep in my heart The warmth of your arms wrapped around me It hurts me that we’re kept apart Your eyes like a doorway to heaven Deeper than Gods’ mighty seas Oblivion reflected, unaltered Your yearning, your hunger for me That hunger I fear will defeat me I’m nothing but human at best But to have you so close and let go Will surely be my ultimate test The pain as it stands is impressive The effect that you have is so raw The passion compressed is colossal My heart from my mind has been tore But as you live, stop and cast a glance I’ll still be here, if you need a guide Silently on the outskirts of your life Content to be your friend outside 050404 ... lynnlynn My dear mom...why did you have to go? Nothing means shit anymore. I died the day you did, my body still goes though. I need you. 090125 ... niecespieces To your loss, I give you my sympathies. As unknown and unapriciated as they may be. They would of ment something in the past. 090903 ... unhinged i couldn't quantify until someone(s) gave me back things i didn't even realize were gone the obvious loss easy to count (this sunday it will be eleven years since she died) but the things that change when you aren't looking the parts you give away without realization those parts can't even begin to be counted usually loss is replaced with gain but somethings go away never to come back i haven't been afraid of death for a long time facing_mortality i'm more afraid of losing my heart once piece at a time years of alone cause i'm afraid some day i won't have anymore pieces to give away 100326 ... Soma sitting at the desk the incadescent bulbs flicker i cast two shadows one across the screen in front of me where i see you and hear you but in delayed time the other on my empty right hand a chill pervades the room I only notice it alone in the warmth of my own blankets and you come creeping down my spine 12 shades of black all mixed from accidental colors and things better left unsaid i am flame and you the unavoidable result of my existance complements of one another but intended separate this emptiness is specific this black space is you 100327 ... unhinged i still miss you olga 100328 what's it to you? who go blather from