realization eric realization: the yellow glow of conciousness. 980903 ... dallas The only thing that makes me not just give up. 990205 ... cwj the moment of truth; the moment i live for. 990428 ... ceorl crystalized imagination 990429 ... mareberry we all reach higher, and higher, and higher still, never quite touching that one thing that would make us all understand. instead we watch it from afar, in hopes of one day feeling the glow of realization warming our souls, holding us in this deep, dark union of misunderstanding. that feeling, that knowing... i fear i'll never know. 990506 ... number9dream the coalescence of thought, whether within or without... i think it, and it becomes my reality; i cast a piece of the world in the mold of my thoughts and it becomes a reality that can be shared with others. 991103 ... camille to be awakened 000103 ... Chrity go to: i_have_words 010408 ... *Colleen* the blow that you get from the heavy 2x4 that some ass hole decided to slam into your face, just when you thought that the world was in your corner 010623 ... black-dyed gel product "and suddenly they realized they weren't little girls anymore; they were little women." ---Moe crying and reading to people on THE SIMPSONS 010624 ... futility the space where my questions were answered and for a moment I held them in my hands until I decided, in a flash of understanding to let them go realizing that it was in being elusive that the answers were real. 010924 ... psychobabe a depressing thing yet a extremely happy thing 011025 ... nemo my eyes are open now... 011215 ... Annie111 It was today. That big train called realization pulled into my stop, puffed and huffed a bit. I can't do this. 011219 ... ClairE Yes, I am a stupid fuck. 011219 ... blown cherry I just came to the realization that everytime I read on here that someone is married, or has a fiancee, or is happy with their partner, somewhere in the bakc of my head they get assigned to the "deluded" file. What the hell is wrong with me? do I not believe in that kind of happiness anymore? Maybe I don't. 020403 ... reitoei you are completely insignificant 020403 ... Casey I need to get these people out of my house. 020403 ... blown cherry I was thinking how much I really really wanted to be a racing car driver; the speed, the risk, the thrills of it all. Then I realized I can't drive a manual. 020404 ... yellow 5 imagine your whole existence encompassed in the moment of "now," and that time has never been, yet in this one moment you have been programmed with "memories" and the idea that time has actually passed before this flash of consciousness. 020404 ... silentbob loves you painful realization that all has gone wrong and nobody cares at all 020404 ... Casey I've realized that I'm getting screwed on my scholarships and whoever made the FAFSA should be fucking killed. 020404 ... Freak your going to do what your going to do. I can't stop you. One day Im going to hear that ive been cheated on. What am i going to do then. What am I suppossed to do with this realization? 020605 ... kama ... open your heart,your eyes, your ears, feel it throughout the blood in your viens, the oxgyen in your brain, the acid in your stomach ... 020822 ... phillip that you can not change anything. 021026 ... andrew I haven't had one thought in Nicole's direction for a very long time, and I've been very happy. Untill recently at least. I thought about her for a momment, and I got really sad and started to feel sick... Then I realised that there is no reason for me to feel sad or to be sick because it no longer matters if she thinks I am psycho. Obviously she could try to talk to me and stuff again if she wanted to... but if she doesn't... oh well... 030205 ... :-* words betray thoughts in such an aspect. I wonder who you're trying to convince 030205 ... di luce In the mirror he watched the cars come screaming from behind. Dozens of them, without end, screeching by his truck so fast the wind made it rock side to side. Just come from another dark hero flick he was feeling kind of repetitive himself. In the mirror he gazed at his red, puffy eyes and messy hair. The moisture was causing the skin on his cheekbone to become dry and chaffed. Suddenly glare from another string of headlights obliterates the reflection. More gusts of air rock the truck gently side to side. It's a night for reflection. Dark and light. 030214 ... Novice Realization...I've come to the realization, that there is something that can break my stone heart. Something that can pull my down from my level of social darwinism. It's love, my love for you has completely turned my life around. I can't do anything, I sit down and think of you, in everything that I do...I can only think of you. What a painful and confusining realization... 030416 ... DavesHeroinGirl Initially, a habit hurts worse when broken than a heart. 030417 ... Novice newayz 030502 ... joda I'm tired of your whining, aren't you? 030502 ... joda That was directed at no one here, by the way... 030502 ... Novice I hate the word, especially when u realize that right before you can tell your friend that you love him. He's telling u he has to drop out of school two weeks b4 his high graduation to go to the army. And his girlfriend, whos like two years younger than u, is pregnant with his baby. Yeah a great realization 030526 ... birdmad stark and cold 030527 ... nomme visions of the future arrive like notes in the air glimpses of something tied together known wholly when the song ends 030806 ... werewolf then he realized, it didn't matter what she did, if she chose him or not. she could run off with joey, they could fuck like some twisted saints, glowing and turning into light and sound and it wouldn't matter. he loved her. it was such a strange and freeing thought. he felt reborn. there was a sadness to it as well, a loss. for the flip side of it was, that he would be okay without her, he was stronger than his own sorrow, and hers. and yet it meant that he loved her freely, and any guilt she brought on herself, if she wanted to, was really hers, a part of her beauty and not his. he respected her differently now, but not just her. there was something in this that made him respect all the people he had seen as taking from him, or closing in. he respected lovers and adversaries, and indeed the distinction shrank a little. he would go see her now, and she'd have something to tell him. but no matter what, he knew that he was going to be different than a lot of people, because he'd given up what so few people do. 030930 ... icy like an epiphany, and it took someone else to point it out to me. wishing now that i could take my words back, erase them, take them back because they're only for me and i should never have tried to share them with anyone else... o, but how i wanted for someone to read them and be touched somehow, maybe think it was well written and expressive... but now i see, x was right, (marks the spot?), i am merely a stereotype, a little bit of everyone wrapped, not having anything for my own. typical. average. nothing to say, and so i won't anymore... just wanted to b'bye... 031112 ... bird no one (and i mean abso-fucking-lutely NO ONE) is totally unique. we ALL have some correlation to a sterotype we can be neatly pigeonholed into by someone else, some to more extreme degrees tha others don't give that sort of criticism a second thought you are as much "you" as you can be 031112 ... reue if you think all people care about are your problems, you've missed something. its just that they care for you and wish the best for you. what else are people to do? i now know that i don't have to worry about helping you with your problems, that you can take care of it yourself. if you want to talk about them, sure i can be there for that, but i'm not going to expect you to share. your the first person i've ever meet that hasn't needed someone. do i want you to call me up with your problems? yah, just because i care about you and i want to help you. i want to be wanted, but i know thats not going to happen and i can accept that. do i still worry about you? sure do, just as you still worry about me. i know everything will be okay sometime. i'm not worried about that, your one of the strongest people i know. its not that all you are to people are your problems. its just sometimes people get so wrapped up in trying to fix things, to make things better that they forget to just relax and enjoy. enjoy the time while they have it. you don't know how long it'll last. you'll always be more to me than your problems, your you and i wouldn't have you any other way. 031112 ... reue strongest 'person' 031112 ... mina you totally missed the point 031113 ... icy still obvious and embarrassing... misses the point quite often. 040209 ... realistic optimist optimization 040209 ... zeke actualization 040209 ... dries&hardens that you are[n't] gone 060325 ... oren Little things matter. Most of my time was wasted. Realization. 060326 ... Syrope for all these pennies i've thrown into this blackhole of a well, i realize now i haven't heard a single one hit the bottom. i want them all back. 080203 what's it to you? who go blather from