midnight andrea not so little is the way we perceive ourselves in the grand scheme of things not so big that's how we see our actions on those who will follow us 991220 ... gonut Click... sometimes my brain does things that I don't like. So I try the whole keep yourself occupied thing, but it's usually way too dark... and sometimes I travel through time. 000812 ... ErikFriend the point of no return. when you realize you're going to be tired tomorrow at work. thank god for caffeine... 011109 ... alison_monet and it's raining outside he must be soaking wet 030322 ... ClairE We are sliding between May and June and I say to myself time is not going to get the best of me. I just want the running of my life to be an efficient machine, barely noticeable and the faint whirring pleasant to my ears. I want time to gently swing me in a hammock. Is that too much to ask? 030531 ... theo huxtable dancing around movie theater parking lots at 12am is a good way to spend time. 031007 ... misstree midnight has always carried the connotation of a cusp, the point when evening becomes night, when there should be something interesting afoot, when mischief peeks around the corner to see who's awake. it's when staying late at work becomes staying *really* late, it's when day's drudgeries have been dealt with or shoved aside and anything can happen, and often does. it's no coincidence that midnight is the witching hour, it's when magic blossoms and every manner of monster can be dreamed up. midnight belongs to the seers, the poets, the punks, the crazies. midnight is when order locks its doors for the night to keep out astounding possiibility. midnight is when, if you listen the right way, you can hear laughing spirits take flight. 031008 ... birdmad One more night on the axis of days watching the world spin just out of reach 031008 ... Death of a Rose Bring it on that moon ridden time. Flapping it's wings into a frenzy, just so you can hear it. Step in to the parlour my dearest deceit. Play upon the stage of the night and dramatize its senses. Did you hear that, the masses yearn for the morning, but I hear only my heart beat with intoxication. Roller coaster fantasies are eerliy different when you're standing in sunshine. The will be my blatherthon. You will see our number flashing at the bottom of the screen. Don't bother calling, we are outside having a cig. I'm not even going to look at the screen while I type this. Just let it come out. Here is my clown, ready to fire from the cannon good people. Oops.....I guess you're not all that good afterall. I can hear the drip drop of slow release. Come retreat into a harvester knight. One day I will fight the dragon of the nightmares and willingly be swallowed. There is a wall. People gather to pound their fists on it. It makes them feel righteous and better about themselves. They should check their hands for splinter of rock and steel. Blood can be ignored quite easily when the mind is elsewhere. Keep that mind rooted (tree reference for those of you who are listening). If I was the man who had his ear to your breast, would you think less of me? I've got a little black book that I forgot all over the place and yet I can't seem to do a final loss deal on it. Have to perform and exorcism on it. this is dangerous, so windy and filled with mines. here it comes, climax in glorious forms. crossroads here and there. for her in sunlight. The middle field is calling (more later). I have blaphemized (sp) and haven't been struck down, now is that right. Can't I expect a holy surge of lightning bolt through the head for the well though out blasphemy. god is cruel. give me steroids and ethanol, so I can burn cleanly. lips are stimulating. monkey brains are good, they promote regular constipation. Oh shit, look at the time. I've just wasted 7 hours of some one elses time. Shame on me. till later my sweet little dark things. 031009 ... nomatter 12 in the night 031009 ... alex you and i, we stop and kiss at redlights to blur the colors of midnight.... 031101 ... june i don't know if i want to come back i'll try, but if i don't it's only because i can't wake up sorry, but i have to leave now i just wanted you to know that i don't consent 040126 ... dave i cant see who you are it's midnight hope the sun comes up early. 040126 ... emmi adrift in a hundred feet of inky midnight the boat isn't moving; the world is. 040219 ... JustOnMonday midnight is our time. I'll sneak out and you can just leave. We will meet at the pond and walk to the park. We can swing under the stars and laugh in the moon light. We'll drive around town. The windows down and the music on, not speaking a word. You will quietly drop me off at home and I'll sneak back inside. I'll go to sleep around 3 and smile while I dream. Midnight will always be a good time. 040816 ... stork daddy although there is a certain darkness to most midnights, it is so much more an idea we have. the middle of the night. when you're young it often seems unreachable. there doesn't seem to be much past it. you only know that somewhere after it, you pass into nothingness and then morning appears. until you are older and see your first consecutive sunset to sunrise. but even after that, i find myself wanting to keep midnight's sense of wonder. the idea that the night is endless, that by sleeping we are actually transporting ourselves from a strange endless realm. the idea that should you stay up some night, you have as long to do as you want, all you want to do. midnight felt that powerful once. it still feels like a powerful stillness when the work of the world is almost fully retired, and we are for a moment weightless, the propulsion of our workdays and obligations slowed to a darkening drift. all that remains is the inscrutable sky. 040816 ... pete when you dance on my soul 040816 ... not even a reason yet i'm still waiting it's not over yet it's over, yet but it's not over yet it's not over til no_reason makes sense. 040919 ... poor boy why does everyone keep doing this to me? 040919 ... pete midnight has so often been my hour, living at midnight, my roomates asleep.. lastnight one of them came in and turned off my light, as i fell asleep reading sometime around 10.... 040920 ... suicidalchinadoll you called me..and asked me to come dance under the stars.. and I don't know why I went.. or why I return your calls.. or why I want you to come back.. so you can ignore me again ... is a sap..who keeps stubbing her toe 040920 ... Syrope "in the middle of the night" came on the radio, and suddenly i was overwhelmed by this terrible sadness. i miss my daddy. i remember sitting and waiting for him to get a haircut at his barber's (or was he talking to a guy about a car part?...it was some masculine place that i wouldn'tve been unless it was just me & him) & the song coming on the radio, and me being so anxious that he was across the room and not beside me so i could exclaim "dad! it's your favorite song!" i started calculating whether or not i could go and see him tomorrow night. then i realized he'll probably be working, so i wouldn't get to see him even if i did go home, except maybe a little after he came home and before he went to bed, and he'd be so happy i came home that he'd try to stay up, and then he'd be tired sunday, and i don't want him to be tired, so i won't go visit. it's so fun to hear that he's excited about the c++ course and wants to take it when i'm done. i love my dad to death, and i've always been so proud of him, but i feel like maybe he hasn't gotten do a lot of what he wanted to with his life because he's always been so dedicated to me & my brother...to making his life work. he's had such a hard life and he's not bitter, he didn't have to almost ruin his own life before realizing it was something worth saving (a quality i've learned to loathe in ex's...i really do want a man just like my dad...) and he's someone i want to be like when i grow up. and then i wonder if my recently renewed motivation isn't because of how the relationships with my parents have changed. mom no longer bugs me about coming home, she's stopped trying to tie my shoes for me by brute force and just sits on the sideline rambling about how i should do it. but dad does miss me and ask when i'm coming home. knowing he misses me and that he's thinkig of me makes me want to be something so much better. something for him to be proud of. i love telling him about my successes because he absolutely lights up. i never got the idea that he bragged about my brother except on very rare occasions, but i think of my brother as rather mediocre anyway... but i know he tells his co-workers how proud he is of his daughter. (i can't cry at work tonight. i won't.) i'm not afraid to tell him about my failures, because he just looks me in the eye and tells me it will work out. that if i just do the best i can, it'll be ok. that that's all i can do. and god, i need to hear that so often. not that i'm going to win every battle, but that losing a battle doesn't always mean so much about the war. i remember the first time he had to come to me to ask how to do something on the computer that he didn't know how to do, but i did. he didn't make a big deal out of it and didn't seem embarassed or insulted. he really loved learning from me, and was just glad that i'm making something out of myself with the opportunities i have. i can only hope that i will learn to be that selfless, that sincere. have you ever wanted to get married only for that first dance? 040925 ... erin determines your state for the upcoming year in retrospect 041230 ... mourninglight at midnight darkness and lightness fuse together, and fade from view; all that I can see is the fuzzing halo around the moon. warm like amaretto and orange in summer and cold like iced milk when the snow falls to reveal my goings on in winding trails..and cover my tracks eventually, sealing and binding my spine, laced like rice paper with symbols drawn in blood, salt, sand, iron, lime, rust and waxed crayon. 041231 ... In_Bloom He began to refer to it as, "Pumpkin Time" Because that's the hour I would leave him every night Maybe he thought I'd really turn into a squash if I stayed but in reality I left because that was the hour I might almost give in. 081018 what's it to you? who go blather from