selfless dallas I do not know my own nature for I am obsessed with the world around me and perturbed by its astonishing lack of perfection. 000108 ... 9 .. 010808 ... Teenage Jesus do any of you dumb self indulgent motherfuckers know what that means? Don't you know how fucking lucky you are? Have you considered the fact that there are a fuckload of folks in the universe who have it a hell of a lot worse than you? Really, there are people who don't have the luxury of mulling over "the misery of existence" or feeling "so sad and alone." Here's an idea : Think about someone besides yourself for, oh, say, one minute. After that, cheer up you 15-25 year-old spoiled rotten shit heads. Have a nice day as well. Man, I Love Wednesday! 010808 ... unhinged did you ever stop to think that maybe the reason that i'm sad is because i spend a lot of time thinking about other people and that fact that i can't do anything to help them is what makes me sad? and yes, there are many people that no matter all the thoughts, words, and prayers you give them you can't help. sometimes their nature becomes too ingrained and there is nothing you can do to change them. scared. that's it. i could be so much happier if it helped you love. 010808 ... Dafremen I know. I remember. I won't forget. Neither will my kids even though they've never suffered through it. A reasonably strict upbringing filled with responsibility and consequence is my gift to them and in turn THEY are my gift to society, to all of you. That's how I'm doing MY part to fix this mess, what are the rest of you doing? 010808 ... Dafremen I know exactly how you feel, unhinged do0d. Dig this for a dilemma: I'm so much of a damned geek that anytime I strike up a conversation with my family I bore the piss out of them. Conversely, the tedious everyday stuff that THEY talk about bores the crap out of me. After awhile it becomes obvious how unhappy the interaction is making everyone, so, not wanting to make my loved ones unhappy, I withdraw into my books, my writing and my PC. Then we miss the interaction, what the time says about our feelings for and dedication to each other. We become even MORE unhappy because of the isolation. All I really want, is for them to be happy so that I can be happy, so I get REALLY super loaded to tone my brain down about 6 notches and then everyone (including me) is unhappy because I'm getting loaded. Meanwhile I spend the entire time feeling what they're feeling. Their loneliness, misery, boredom, frustration and yes occasionally something between loathing and apprehension when I open my mouth. Some days are tougher than others, but let's not fool ourselves, we aren't selfless. This has as much or MORE to do with OUR happiness as it does with theirs. It's just that a prerequisite to OUR happiness is THEIR happiness. 010808 ... Teenage Jesus Here here Daffy- I am leading my life in a way that I hope imparts those, and other important things to my two boys. Love is the most important thing. As a matter of fact, I think that is life's most important leason. Love, and all it's many facets. Unhinged- you ARE making a difference. We don't think about, and empathize, and love others, for tangible results for ourselves. It's for them- and whether we notice or not- whether we know about it or not - it makes a difference. I just want particularly negative elements that self-pity is a dead end; so why go that way? 010808 ... The Truth What do you mean "can't do anything to help them" ...do you think your sadness and pity helps them? No, it does not, It adds to the sadness of the world. It reinforces sadness. It depletes hope. You choose to be sad. You choose the way you react. If I was dieing, and everyone that came to me had sadness for me, I would feel terrible for making them have sadness. I wouldn't say, "what a great person they are for getting sad for me." But on the brighter side, if they were happy, if they had a bright outlook, it would rub off on me, and the rest of the world. A sunny disposition brightens even a stranger's day. The fact of the matter is, you CAN do something to help them. It's called optimism and positive thinking, and it does wonders. Try it! (I wish I could believe that you will try it, instead of replying, "I have tried it and it doesn't work." ) Your hopelessness can be turned around by a simple change of your attitude. 010808 ... Teenage Jesus lesson (now there's something to pity- my spelling.) Daf- loaded on what? Smoke? Drink? other? I'd like to hear if you want to share...I may be of assistance. Remember-I'm NOT christian. 010808 ... Tank no such thing... every act is selfish... even the most altruistic person is this way because they want to be... it all comes down to the self and it's desires, so never betray yourself, as you are all you have got... but more importantly, what is it that fulfills and drives you..? what are your motivations..? choices and actions all dwell on the continuum of self... 010808 ... Weed Eater I have no money, but I gave those 4 dollars I found to a homeless man. He said with tears in his deep eyes, "God bless you sire, thank you." 010808 ... Teenage Jesus Actually; only inside each of our hearts is the truth or untruth of selflessness. Others perceptions, or plain old symantic game playing are both irrelevent. What's in your heart is what matters. 010808 ... Teenage Jesus Hurray Weedeater!! Give give give. See ten_fold. 010808 ... unhinged do you think they know how sad i am that i can't help them? do you think i don't put on my smile when they are around to encourage them? do you think that i don't send them e-mails full of love and encouragement because i want them to get up the next day and think that someone loves them? true, i'm not selfless. i can't stand to see the people i love in pain. so the motivation is purely a selfish one. i might have a horribly pessimistic outlook on my own life but i have so much hope for those around me. i want them to suceed more than anything else and they know that. and even though it is taking a long time to take affect, i still keep trying. a true smile can be the most beautiful thing in the world. 010808 ... Dafremen Indeed. A truly joyful heart can fly with angel's wings too, but let's get back to the POINT. Not the other details that go along with the pain, the POINT. Seems the point is, how to keep yourself sane. This is NUMERO UNO. I hope we can agree on that. When a Libran is miserable it's usually a lack of stability and/or harmony in their environment. Check around you do0d, something is causing this and it's actually HURTING your ability to help and is just bad for YOU. You need to protect yourself from influences for awhile. Learn to STOP saying "yes I'll do that for you" for awhile. (Learning to say no was my wife's gift to me. I cherish the time it has given me to direct my energies where and how I feel that they are best used. Helping efficiently is possible.) You need to stop looking to THEM for validation at least on the surface(hehe yes yes, they ARE validation, that's unavoidable isn't it though? So let's avoid that for now. Trust me it works out better if we do.) because building up your confidence in YOU and your ability to stay BALANCED is what will give you the freedom and STRENGTH you need to give them anything you want for them and take them wherever they want to go. You've GOT to become confident in yourself and who you are. Please forgive as I quote Coolio: "You can't help me if you can't help yourself..." I think you're gunna be ok do0d. You're still my #1 favorito blatherino cuz you got a level head. Don't get caught in that "staring at my soul" trap, it will suck you down and that will hurt your abilities which I happen to believe (from personal experience) are considerable. It's a good feeling not being afraid anymore, and once you find just a FEW people who trust in your inuition, that should give you enough "instant help-gratification" to keep your emotional state healthy. THEN the fear just goes away. Your intuition becomes like a body guard. It tells you when to go here, whether this is a good idea or not. It talks to you already, I'm sure. Develop it and it's your voice, just open your mouth and out comes the answer automatically, intuitively, out come the right words if you want, out come just the words that the situation calls for. It's a marvelous gift for you and everyone around you. 010811 ... The Truth The "staring at your soul" trap? Then explain the value of this quotation: "The unexamined life is not worth living." -Plato If you don't stare at your soul, how will you know what it's made of? If you don't examine your past, how will you understand your present? If you don't reminisce... how will you keep your memories refreshed? Stare at your soul...It is beautiful. 010811 ... unhinged no i understood what daf meant. that is a trap for me because i spend way too much time overanalyzing the past. i know that i do. i live in the past even. and that is a trap because you have to know yourself and where you've been to see where you are going yes. but living in the past never made anyone happy. i'm working on that one. 010811 ... The Truth Oh... (DOn't I feel sheepish) Sorry for the misunderstaning! (Thanks for explaining) 010811 ... unhinged sure :) 010811 ... Aimee I've never been described as this... I've only heard selfish, self centered egotistical and arrogant... all of which are true, but I'd like to think that maybe I have a couple virtues. 010812 ... Dafremen You're self aware and chock full o' dimples? 010812 ... unhinged bodhisattva and they say that just looking at the_great_mantra brings healing even if you don't know what you see. that is it's power; even the unknowledgable can be healed even by the sight of it. and after we sat in his car getting high and he told me things he didn't need to tell me, i felt the urge to show him. that just seeing it, he needed to see it. 'oral sex is a selfless good deed.' 040924 ... Evilair indignifying in my opinion 051203 what's it to you? who go blather from