endless desire and i'd say things will be better tomorrow
but then i would be lying.
i lie enough to myself,
im not going to start lying to everyone else.
so just stop telling me things will be better
when they just aren't and they never will be.
x i've come to a few conclusions about this over time:

1)people say it will be better when they have no idea. what they really mean is that they want it to be better because they care about you.

2)things are constantly changing. tomorrow might be better, might be worse, might be about the same.

3)personal effort makes a difference. you can't control everything that happens to you, but you can control how you react to it. depression causes you to react negatively by default. focus any energy you have on beating depression, and this will improve everything else.
dead inside things WILL be better.

and then they will be worse.

and then they'll be better.

and then they'll be worse.

and eventually we'll be dead...
which is better than being worse.
lovely attraction being dead is always better. 031121
mnirishrose I see myself in a dark, cold and deserted jail. I can see through the bars to a spot nearby where the keys lie that would allow me to escape. But I can never reach the keys. And so I begin to really struggle and stretch my arm out to reach them. I get sooo close...and then they always seem to disappear. 040105
jezabel it is done. close and lock the doors, turn the lights off, abandon this home, you will never return. you have taken one step too many. the answer will always be no. 040105
hope wouldn't it be easier if i just stopped now 040424
blah Welcome to the world of eternal blah 060404
what's it to you?
who go