disposition
acadia national park
i
can't
take
my
own
side
because
doing
so
would
not
release
me
.
i'm
the
disposable
woman
.
losing
yourself
in
something
tempts
the
male
psyche
to
beg
that
it
must
also
be
nothing
.
and
i
thought
i
was
supposed
to
be
doing
chemistry
. maddening, in't?
but
,
i
don't
believe
in
all
those
chemical
things
,
either
.
they
are
not
basic
enough
,
or
nihilistic
enough
.
i
don't
want
to
teach
them
to
children
.
i
can
forgive
myself
for
this
,
but
i
can't
come
up
with
recommendations.
can't
live
down
all
the
Gone
Girl
garbage
.
there
is
no
hope
within
normal
parameters -
and
that's
why
I
literally
believe
that
in
his
previous
life
,
Matt
Damon
was
one
of
my
local
firefighters.
in
the
next
?
a
daimon astrologer --
why
not
,
really
.
the
disposable
woman
,
just
dispose
dispose
dispose
me
.
260718
...
acadia national park
another
little
note
to
say
that
i
don't
just
post
here
and
run
.
but
it
would
be
difficult
to
parse
whether
posting
is
brazen
and
foolhardy
or
if
not
posting
is
cowardly
or
foolhardy.
look
for
me
as
mercury
goes
direct
.
i
really
can't
make
it
a
habit
--
changed
the
color
to
white
but
the
blue
still
seeps
into
my
soul
from
wherever
it
is
this
produces
itself
.
just
can't
do
these
saturated
colors
-
nobody
to
blame
,
in
all
probability
.
260725
...
unhinged
i
don't
want
to
ask
him
why
yet
again
i
was
so
disposable
(
me
too
me
too
)
because
all
the
other
times
i
received
an
answer
it
didn't
actually
dull
the
pain
chances
are
he
moved
on
with
life
like
a
healthy
person
and
i
always
care
too
much
because
of
my
high
sensitivity
shrugs
some
things
are
better
off
left_unsaid
260728
what's it to you?
who
go
blather
from