unhappy me? i am unhappy with the limited number of words accumulated thus far 991110 ... Quintessensual so am i and i'm pleased now that me and a few others are doing something about it 991110 ... Quintessensual ...also that so many people, who put a piece or many pieces of themselves down here while blathing, are afraid to reveal how they might be reached. Even if they be rediculously fearful, they could provide a connection via virtually anonymous e-mail, like through hotmail, yahoo or operamail. This unhappiness is displeasure, that when a piece of somebody's soul is bared and I want desperately to touch the somebody to say how touching, witty, insightful, beautiful, or otherwise magnificent the piece was, I cannot. The unhappiness is also sadness, because it is really the ultimate in self-loathing for somebody to just lay a piece, or many pieces, of her/himself out here and be unwilling to be ever so distantly touched for it or them and self-loathing, being a terrible thing for anyone, makes me sad. 991110 ... Quintessensual ...too that, despite laying so many pieces of me out in the blathing sun, i've yet to be touched by anyone. 991110 ... me? me?: blather@nospamflo.dhs.org remove the nospam... 991120 ... me? what the hey... 991120 ... red There's so many words I wish were here, but I'm too timid to start them. 991130 ... bellee it's one of those words that doesn't mean what it says...happiness is knowing how you feel...if you know you are unhappy, then at least you have that happiness. i wish i had the courage to say i was unhappy...perhaps i could be happy in that. 000121 ... tazfab I’m unhappy, Because I know you don’t love me why continue. Live happy my love, The love you gave me, I will always feel. I’m unhappy Because you don’t love me, you think I should die Let me have four drinks Bartender I will pay for them To kill this pain Live happy In your world of illusions Don’t think anymore In your love and your cheatings 001116 ... j_blue truth is like a blunt knife twisting in your side. why look at it? better to bask in the dust of angels. death is just as immediate, but when reality offers no solace, we must find it elsewhere 001117 ... micky jo I remember hearing Americans are the only people who think they are supposed to be happy so much so it's in our constitution pursuit I think happiness comes in pieces and can't be reached as a whole and if it feels like you are all over happy it is probably fleeting I don't mean this to be depressing just honest happiness and unhappiness is fleeting life is melancholy understanding and accepting is peace peace is more lasting 040205 ... me you're so fucking unhappy, its frustrating for me because you only bitch amd moan about these petty wars with your new goddamn best friend (this is you're third best friend in about three months). everyday i walk down the street. listen next time you do. person to my left yelling about the price of bananas. so focused on the argument he doesnt notice anyone even walking by, or me listening in. all he cares about is saving a piece of paper that represents value, a value that represents a small piece of time working in his office, which he hates, and maybe will inspire him so much he will go postal and kill all his co workers. but i keep walking because that doesnt involve me. person to my right now, yelling at her significant other about something involving another girl. now she's crying, and she too doesnt notice anyone else in the world, not the weird looks people give her, not the wind blowing her directions to the deli out of her hand, not the cop car driving by and pulling over some man who is too busy and impatient to slow down and save someones life. all she cares about is that her boyfriend spent some time, who knows how much, with some other girl while she thought she was the only one, and how she even was friends with that other girl, but not anymore, even though that best friend who slept with her boyfriend was the same one who convinced her to take the gun from her head. funny, now maybe that friend will help to put that gun back to her head. that doesnt involved me either. person to my right again, this time ranting to the guy beside him about the boss and how he fired his best friend. i dont think he wants to know that his best friend was always late because he smoked too much pot the night before and couldnt wake up. maybe he knows, and doesnt care, and maybe he knows, but doesnt want to know he knows because he dcoesnt smoke pot, and thinks its evil and all things related to pot are evil, but what about his best friend? he doesnt want to challenge his ideals, or change his manner of thinking. but that doesnt really involve me, even though for a second i know how he feels, and for a shorter second, i wanted to help. and then you, in front of me, i'm approaching you, and believe me, i see you. i'm even listening intently to waht you're saying. but you're crying, and sobbing, and saying how your best friend ditched you for some other guy, and how everything sucks, and how some guy felt you up even though you were drunk and couldnt think straight, and how you still wonder why i broke up with you. but i won't look you in the eye this time because for once in your life, its time you pulled yourself up by your own fucking bootstraps. its time you challenge your values, and open your mind because the way you're living now, you just go from one depression to the next without thinking about WHY. and you're pissed at me for not responding but you didnt stop to think why i'm not responding, which is too complicated for you anyway, and you've just hit my chest while sobbing, but i keep walking (this is not a dis. this is me quitting). but you dont think WHY you're best friend ditched you, or why you even thought she was your best friend in the first place, and you never bothered to think why i broke up with you. and you're stil sad, but i've stopped caring becasue all that, all that mess in your head that needs straightening out, even if that DID involve me, theres nothing i can do about it. its all you now, and you need to think, and stop, andfor one seocnd, stop taking everything at such steroetypical face value, and think whether or not thats important. so i keep walking, and you're still crying behind me. the night crosses the street, and covers downtown, and cover the banana man, and boyfriend girl, and the boss man, and you, and then finally me. so i keep walking and think about nothing, nothing at all, i just keep walking. and everything i've seen, and everything i've heard and thought today, it all gets stored in the back for later use, but right now, i;ve got this goddamn can of paint in one hand, and a marker in the other and everything that i saw and heard and thought today, none of it involved me, but i steal it form everyone. i invade your rights and i take from you anyway. and i take everything you said, whether or not you meant it, becausde you said it and its out there now. i take it all and shove it into that can of paint, and it all goes through my fingers, and onto that previously blank wall, which now contains bits a pieces of all those poeple, and all those people connected to them, and so on and so forth. and it contains all the ideas they thought to make that sentence. i dont claim it, because its not rightfully mine. that piece of art, and those colors are not mine, they came from all of you, so its yours to keep. i just put it there. someone had to do it, but everyone was too busy yelling about bananas, or yelling about being cheated on, yelling about the boss to notice anyone elses life, or anyone elses moments in the city when they have something to say or cry about to notice the other people who are complaining about bananas, etc. and so they never get inspired and its one big web of pre occupication, that feeds off itself, and will never die, unless someone like me, who isnt is that web of pre occupication, comes along and hears what you say, and then ppaints waht they hear. all it takes is one person, and the one more adn the one more. it doesnt EVER involve any of you, but steal it, twist it, and hear it, then paint it. and then keep walking because it waasnt you who put that up, and it wasnt you who came up with those ideas, and that painting is not yours, its there for someone who isnt involved. then i walk away and because that painting didnt involve me. i was just there at all the right times. so i keep walking to be at the right place at the right time again. 050510 ... krupt i hate all you fuckin happy people out there, all you who dont have any problems, or rather refuse to acknowledge them. the world is not a happy place so fuckin wake up and realize that your american dream of living a happy life is only fucking up everyone elses life. the fact that you vote for a president that will keep taxes favoring the wealthy even tho he supports the beliefs of a 15 year old hillbilly is an absolute hippocracy!! the fact that all you happy christians out there vote for him just because he doesnt believe in abortion, well i dont either but i also dont believe in killing people who are alive in other countries!! im not a political radical, rather i am far from it, i am a registered anarchist, and i think the goverment should burn in hell, its just the rich getting richer and the powerful becoming more powerful and theres nothing you or i can do about it. were being lied to about everything and all you fuckin drones just support the cause!! DONT VOTE, DONT WATCH CNN, DONT FOLLOW A POLITICAL PARTY!!! all you happy people would be much less happier if you knew the truth. lets now talk about how your strive for the perfect life with 2.5 kids and a white fence with a golden retreiver is fucking up the world. heres a more realistic dream... you work late cause all you care about is making money, you wife cheats on you with you pool buy and one of your 3 kids gets cut in half when he drunkenly crashes the 330 bmw you bought him for his 16th birthday into a tree. theres your 2.5 kids asshole!!! and as for the dog... dogs are cool, but not in your posession cause youre a dick. what we all need to do is have a reality check, it is unfair that i yell at you without explaining myself. i am not an unhappy person, this rant is me on medication, with out it i am actually unhappy and you all wouldnt like me when im unhappy. this is however me trying to push a realization onto all of you. its ok to be pissed off at the world, it is ok to yell about what you believe, and it is furthermore ok for you to scream at the top of you lungs if it is the only thing that may get people to listen. none of you people are happy, no matter what you think. all you beautiful girls out there think youre happy cause you think you look better than everyone else but i know damn well you lay awake at night and cry about how you wish one of your fingers was shorter, and why you cant have everything you want. everyone needs to stop lying to themselves and others and realize that being unhappy is the reality of the world. stop hiding your tears, stop hiding your scars, and stop hiding your fuckin real emotions!!!! i dont want to hurt anyone and i dont want to hurt myself (anymore than i already have). but i just cant take this bullshit anymore, all i want is for the world to stop lying to itself and for all of you to open your fuckin eyes and stop doing things for what other people think. stop going to church for the soul reason of who will talk on monday if your not there, and stop fuckin forcing your kids into the same cult you were forced into!! god is real but not in the way you all think he is. he is alive in us and in nature, he is not all powerful withouth his goddes next to him. together they bring us power and keep the world in check. there is no evil besides what you all create, and we can change this together if we try. thank you for your time... 080121 ... ivyducktwilightseto a little angry, but definitely relates to what's been weighing on mymind so heavily lately. Nothing has changed in the last few centuries, we only think it has. The world is still built on the backs of the poor. All hail the great US of A, a wonderfully wealthy country brought to you by empoverished people everywhere. Everything comes from outside our borders, bought for nothing from indigent farmers and factories owned by us where we pay the workers shit. Okay, this topic exhausts my mind and my fingers, so I'm going to stop before I get into it further. To hell with America. 080122 what's it to you? who go blather from