rant Silent Bob Those kinds of web pages that go on and on about a certain topic presenting opinions and why it is either good or bad. can be really good to get someones point across. but ive heard some really bad ones. like this one girl i know wrote one that was like talking about how shitty this girl was. and how stupid and annoying she was... thats not a rant. thats just a hate page. 000607 ... jennifer I want to rant about Marc D but methinks I've already ranted to death about other persons named Mark (or Marq) but I just don't want to get into that right now 000607 ... Raina Patented RainaRants coming soon. 000926 ... MercynRe obviously no one here knows how to rant... it's all about attitude maybe you have to live in the gutters near the neon signs first and read allen ginsberg and be angry and young and political and try drugs and maybe continue drugs because they help your "creativity" yeah that's why not because the system has you addicted and found a new way to keep you down and you've always flown a little too close to the sun for anyone's comfort watched your best friend have his head blown off and been harrassed for being "alternative" alternative to what? "normal"? what the fuck is that all you virtual crackheads out there define yourselves please i don't know what is real anymore all i know is what i've been taught and i know how to abuse and if you're not angry about something then why the fuck are you alive yeah i'm angry i'm a bitter little white girl and somtimes called a nazi because my hair doesn't fit the ideals of feminism and sometimes i talk too much yeah my bitch coworker told me that and i feel opressed somtimes just like every other loser in my 'hood and i don't own a car or my own place and i work at my school so actually i guess i'm overpriveleged but always told i'm wrong yeah i'm pissed that "white pride" is considered "white power" no it's not the same thing and just cause i like walt whitman and e.e. cummings i'm not a pothead hippie but so what if i were and i'm pissed that beer has so many calories and i'm marrying a guy who can't stand up for himself and his pervert brother is going to fuck up his life won't pay the bills and threatens to rape 16 year old girls and there's nothing i can do but i'm not helpless and i'm not a scared little girl hiding from your manly fists i can hold my own and yeah i listen to bitter "femme" music like ani difranco but she's not unhappy she just takes her own way and if i'm in a mosh pit don't laugh i'll have to get "ghetto" on that ass and make you cry I WANT A RUSTY AXE I WANNA KNOW VOODOO A FAT BITCH NAMED BRIDGETT And a little sip of Faygo, too 'TILL I GET MY SHIT, IN THIS MOTHERFUCKER I WON'T NEVER DIIIIEEE! lol anyway get back in my head i'll just leave you with a few words from "The Goodbye Song" by One-handed Molly - don't take me so seriously just because every night i dig your grave and every day i bury you and all your cups and your roses all your candy and all your - and all your... but a girl's always gotta have something to say so if it's goodbye, then let it roll over when the lights don't stay on long i've got a mouthful of it don't you know that i've been waiting spit it out - i love you better when you're gone don't take me so seriously i am not so dangerous did i say i am not brave every night i push you in i talk about it - i talk but every day i push you out again and all your - and all your all your... so if it's goodbye, then let it roll over... 010427 ... transatlantic Why do I keep crying? Why can't I suceed & be loved? Because I'm unreachable when I win & I need no-one, so I must be happy. When I lose I am loved but I am lonely. Crying inside in a room full of happy people. What yop see as failure I don't. What you see as suceeding, I don't. I can't forgive. I can't forget. I'm not a bad person, just imperfect. He loves me, but he can't see I'm as imperfect as he is because even when I win I want to cry. My love is a secret, because he lies & betrays in the future tense. I'm scared and scarred. "Thank god for the internet" - marillion (steve hogarth I think... ) Why can't I rant in peace? 010820 ... TrippinD i no longer understand where you're coming from. ever since he came along, that's where all your time is spent. which i really don't mind. of course i don't want to offend you by saying this, because you know i love you and you're the one person i can see every minute of the day and be okay with it. it's just that i'm actually okay with you not being here all the time. spending time with myself for once is proving to be worth while. i'm getting things done, i'm thinking things through, i'm going places. but that's the problem it seems. i'm doing things without you, and you can't stand that. you come home from work, you talk with me for a few minutes, have your dinner, then hop on the phone in your room with the door closed. so why should i be down there then? the only reason i go there is to spend time with you. so i shrug, go upstairs, do some stuff, head to bed. but then you get mad at me for not saying goodnight. well, you're on the phone. in your room. with your door closed. for hours. so that's too damn bad. i'm not going to interupt you to say goodnight. then you started to complain. because you no longer knew anything that was going on in my life. "well, i didn't know what to tell them because i don't know what's going on with you these days." exactly. and i don't know whats going on with you either. he knows. because you talk to him more than you talk to me. you see him more than you do me. you don't seem to have a problem with that. you're over at his place every weekend and you're on the phone with him every fucking night. and THEN you COMPLAIN that you don't know anything about ME!? what would you like me to do?? write down everything about my life and what i'm thinking and what went on that day just so YOU don't miss out on anything??? fuck that. just fucking fuck that. and no, i'm not jealous. don't think anything about this has to do with that. it just makes me mad. it makes me mad that you can go so long without talking to me, then have the gall to complain i don't tell you anything anymore. well you're not there to tell. i'm finding more and more these days that i leave you out of alot. i purposely don't tell you things about what i did or where i went. maybe that's a way for me to get back at you a little. because it pisses me off that you don't make the effort to know me, but then get mad because you don't. and i'm afraid you'll just be even more upset soon. because i'm going to obviously do stuff without you. it's not that i want to keep you away, or not do things with you, and no, i love you too much to let this get between us and won't be all about revenge. maybe i just need to do this alone. and i know for a fact it will royally piss you off. and i'm sorry about that. in a way all of this is a good thing. i think we were depending on eachother for our well being to a point where we couldn't function when we were away for too long. now you have someone else. and it gives us both time away. and i'm functioning just fine. and i'm loving it. you just have to stop lying to me. 030506 ... EECP Please do so. 030514 ... my little secret Sometimes I hate you so bad for what you've done to me. But I think that if you suddenly decided you were wrong and you wanted me after all, I would go. I don't know for sure. I'd like to believe I wouldn't that I would accept that we were over that I would be your friend again, but just a friend. Sometimes I want to yell at you scream at you and shout "Don't you care? Why not? Why did you do this? Why me? Why can't it be the same? DAMNIT!!! I need you. You were a part of me. Not my good side but a part I needed cherished. And you just ripped away so quickly without good bye. You didn't even hug me. You said "I'll see you later"... oh and how it hurts to remember what I said... how I knew even then... I said, "Probably not" I fucked up didn't I? I suppose I can sit smiling through my tears and say, "I'm just glad I didn't fuck up alone." God how I miss you. 030729 ... ??? *** * Rant- Revision / amendment note *** 040424 ... ... Wrong Posting 040424 ... TK Well apparently they threw it away! The mag that had the article in it that made me think of you got thrown away! Regardless of the fact that what belongs to me does not belong to them they freakin throw it away any how! I swear I could put my name in perminate marker on everything I own and they would still throw it away bc it not important to them! Like _their_ value of "important" is the only thing that matters! 040912 ... metamantrg The way my family treats me is apouling I've been on my own for years and years yet they still want to interfer in my life____i never asked for anything from them or ever will i've done everthing on my own so i dont buy a new car every year or another house this ones payed for its mine its not new but its mine i own it if its the american way to be in det and live in a brand new house have 2.8 kids and drive new hummers they can have that stress I DON'T WANT IT 040914 ... me i like listening to music where people are just venting, ranting, letting it out. because its pure. its the truth, not hid behind polite smiles, and little euphinisms. everything is there because its TRUE. maybe not anymore,but at that one moment, it was was all the truth in world. 050325 ... counterentity This is China. You should be having the time of your life. I'm soo jealous of you. Terms that have all been used to describe this experience. Yet sometimes it feels as if it is no different than anywhere else, another sea of undescript faces whose care for you rests merely on the formalities of their lips. It is here too where you will find an entire room of men who will not even make the mere courtesy offer of walking you home and leave the one gay guy to do the task that you realize that you are unwanted. that your presence is all but unwelcome. and all you are is just another passing face to them. another face to forget as soon as their feet touch american soil. some people are destined to be the life of the party, to be the center of attention, constantly on center stage. but they can only be in the center when there are drifters as well--who go from group to group unable to really be a part of any. i feel like i am destined to be a drifter. trying so hard to find that chain that fits you but all the time, ending up being the awkward link at the end of the chain that is unnecessary. is there something about me that makes me so detestable that you would shrink away even at the mere thought of getting to know me just enough to find out the person behind the thin exterior? is that face behind the mask so hideous that you would shrink away? even in God's house among his community, i have never been able to find peace. in my relationship with Him, i feel as if i falter in the fragile and waver from side to side. perhaps that is what i find so attractive and alluring about the corporate world -- a world seemingly void of any real emotions, anything more than the finely painted porcealin masks everyone dons in the greatest masquerade on earth. at least there there is a "sense of belonging," a steady beat at which to set your pulse, a dance that never ends ... it's funny how it's at times like these where you feel as if you could never stop writing and still not be able to adequately express the confusions, the melanges and swirls of colors boiling inside you, yet when you want to relay the joys of your life, those occurences that make you smile the sweet simplistic smile of childhood, you grapple for words and fail to communicate that happiness that you so want to say. people say leave it to god ... leave it to god ... but what if it feels as if god doesn't want you to partake in these groups you so long to? 050927 ... sevenmorethaneight rantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrant and that's my name 051005 ... jane if you haven't read it yet... go read it (see chuck_palahniuk) 080131 ... see: tirades_of_blather 080201 ... now_now rabies and the ineffable experience party crashers plug in get out raise yourself from infancy buster casey wants you to live forever 080304 ... flowerant I was going to make a blathe "fucking_princess_bitch_cunt_face" but that just seemed long and unnecessary and out of my normal character. I really don't normally call anyone cunt, in fact this may be a first for me! I have never met anyone like this before this girl. I ve met some crazy women and seen couples male or female have issues, play games, be generally dysfunctional, hell I ve been in dysfunctional relationships too. I am not and have never been perfect, but godamn. her manipulation, fit throwing, and game playing goes beyond just her boyfriend, it extends to her friends and family as well. I tried to rationalize her behavior and defend her when my boyfriend pointed out to me this quality in her. I chalked it up to her being young and on hormonal birth control (I ve been there too) and that this was her first time "away from home" as an adult... well maybe those things are true and maybe she d be nicer otherwise, but at this point all my niceness and defending of her is just about gone. our friend is her boyfriend and I think he deserves more love and respect than he s getting, and certainly deserves not to be dealing with this kind of stress from her. He knows, he has told her she s wrong and defended us with everyone present, he calls her out on her shit. maybe he s the right patient reasonable loving person to teach her humanity and how life works, some one has to i guess. she wants to be taken care of and wants her boyfriend to by her things to prove his love and show her he is willing to invest in her, really? Is that how it works? because I ve never felt that way or asked a guy to "buy me stuff". sure it s nice and sweet if they do but it should go both ways, in her case it does not. thismorning's passive aggressive fit towards us may have been the end of my friendship with her and it s hard to get me to give up on anyone. I just can't deal with that kind of emotional abuse. any way. that's that. I am so grateful for the relationship I share with my heartmate. The contrast really puts things into perspective. I am fortunate and motivate to be an even better version of myself. end my very out of character bitch fest. When I read over this it doesnt even sound like me it sounds like something a fifteen year old should be dealing with with other fifteen year olds. 140730 what's it to you? who go blather from