thin psyki i am glad to be pale and skinny. it makes me happy when i look into the mirror. and see myself, an emaciated skeleton. i cry a lot at night, in the dark. because my stomach hurts. 000205 ... Acuhymen I dont eat because it stills my mind. If im hungry, i don't have to worry about any of the more intellectual concerns that this world demands i worry about. If im hungry, i eat, and i am satisfied. I catch halibut, and i damn bloody well eat hallibut. 000219 ... Tank i think i look especially this today. 000726 ... MollyGoLightly yesterday, in serious tones, he said that i am. 000726 ... The Schleiffen Man we had a line up for the new second in command in our office on the air force base. they guys around me asked if i played sports becuase i was tall. when i said no, they asked me how i stayed thin. i don't know what they're talking about. i don't see it. i see a big tummy and various other parts.... it's a good thing i'm too lazy to develop an eating disorder 000726 ... meeeeee I am thin. I'm not bragging. I am sick of being thin. Why does everyone think it's so great? I don't try at all. I just am. I eat everything too. It makes me upset and angry when people ask me if i eat and one time someone told me i was so thin it made them sick. And im not. I'm me. And i have a hard time accepting this. I am not happy with my weight. I would love to be heavier. Everyone complains- they waant so bad to be me... They have NO idea. NO IDEA. 010126 ... j_blue i think i have body dismorphic disorder or whatever people tell me i am thin, but i am always trying to loose weight no matter how much i loose, my problem areas never seem to get any smaller of course i have limits i go through phases where i HAVE to eat something, usually candy, but i have never though my body was ok but i do know that it could be worse, and that i am cute, so i am not ashamed of my body, i just wish it was a little skinnier in certain places thin is always better than fat, always 010126 ... sammy two cups in pint two pints in a quart four quarts in a gallon how many thins in a happy 010420 ... sara i like thin men. really skin and bones,pale and sick looking guys attract me.i have been anorectic myself 7 years ago. my husband is very thin. i work on a comic character who`s extremely like described above. comic-characters don`t die. 011230 ... marz yeah it's "mmeeee" again. i wrote that a long time ago. not too long ago, i read the journal of a friend and found out that she finds that i am sickening. and so i wonder... that if my truest friends (or at least i thought they were) find me to be gross, does he? i dont think he would ever tell me. society is stupid. they say thin=perfect=happiness. well, ive got news for you all. it doesnt. i hate it. i want to have weight. here i am 17 only 102 lbs... it sucks. it limits me. 020317 ... she The one goal I strive for and never seem to reach. 020317 ... Invisible Butterfly meee/marz - i know what u mean and i know what ur going thru , i have quite the same problem , well it isn't really a problem , but it can be for sumtimes ...i can't gain weight no matter how hard i try , and sumtimes i wish i wasn't so thin ... but hey itz me lol ryte? after reading what u wrote , i think i appreciate the size that i am alot more , thanx 020601 ... anna i used to be really good at not eating but now, i just cant stop..im too obsessed with food and they all used to say wow you are thin but now they say yuck i wish i could stop eating again so i could be all thin and pretty again 020610 ... blown cherrys warped sense of body image For the majority of people, this will always be a compliment. Even though there is no strict correllation between being thin and anything good. I got called this the other day (complimented if you like). It struck me as a surprise. I've always been the largest, the heaviest, the biggest boned, the fattest of all my girlfriends. And I turn around and look at them now, and I'm pretty sure I still am. I look in the mirror and see the funny shaped bulges of fat on my thighs, the protruding stomach that I'm sure I can get rid of if I could just be bothered to starve myself a little harder. On the upside, being the biggest did also mean I had the biggest breasts. And a friend did tell me I had bony shoulders the other day, so I guess it's not all-encompassing. Still, it's nice to know he thinks I'm thin, even if I don't see it myself, can't see it myself. 020812 ... megan Im 17 and i weigh 103, and although i love it, it bites, cause im 30 pounds underweight and i cant gain weight to get up to a healthy level. 021130 ... mal i hate it when you guys say...i'm skinny and i can't gain weight...how could you not gain wait? if you actually eat food i garentee you will gain wait. Sorry, i'm being mean. I just get frustrated sometimes because I've been trying hard for a while to lose weight and you people are trying to gain weight. Sometimes it makes me think that the grass is greener on the other side so it doesn't matter what you are. 030102 ... grrr FUCK YOU. and having said that. so what, we should eat until we're so stuffed that it makes us sick? we should eat things that are full of fat but (personally) disgust us? why don't you try thinking from someone else's perspective for a change? 030102 ... stork daddy sometimes i lose a little strength. it's the price i pay for those short terms moments of glory. 030102 ... megan dying to be... 030102 ... interpertive reality its your secret obession, i see it eating you from the inside out when you try to hide it, i see the way you look at things, i hear the way you talk about yourself. i recognize your uncomfortableness when you watch a movie and they talk about it. i hear the silence that comes from you when its brought up in conversation. i know your past. i can image how you look at yourself in the mirror, i can imagine what you see, when all i really see is all that you can't. how can a person as beautiful as you only see what isn't perfect. 030102 ... angelpaws Why does a concept like how much space I take up in the world matter to me? 030715 ... nobody 34-23-34? Yeah I am fat and ugly. 030715 ... niska yeah... nothing is more revolting than a bony priss, with a sickly/deathly evaporated 23" waist, whining about how fat she is... "like, omigod! i ate like two m&ms, a twizzler and like, half a pringle today! i'm like, such a pig. omigod!" *SLAP* 030715 ... niska i really thought you were being ironic, so don't take offense if you actually talk like this. 030715 ... paranoid martyr never been. and apparently, will never be. i stopped eating when i liked this guy months ago. i was so ashamed of my body. i know i love myself despite the image [i'm not that terrible, just not anorexically correct], but it seems that everybody around me wants me to deny me so. my brain is pretty, y'know? 030715 ... k. what I've been waiting for: so the one person in this fat world that I love just told me I am very thin. three 'very's. am in disagreement of course. wish I could convey how very un-thin is my person. but at the same time I pray she continues to see some bony hence deserving creature never sees the reality of an awkward boring bundle of selfishly damaged goods. love? we are both a wee bit fucked in the head about this whole thin thing. 030818 ... misstree i wouldn't trade languid tropical curves for anything. sexy is what you are, not your shape. never been thin. used to hate myself for being curvy. i call my belly my hedonist pouch. it's true. so there are clothes i can't wear--i sew my own, i look damn good in them, and i have hips that make gothy waifs tremble in fear. see metasensual. i don't care what you weigh, i care what your essence tastes of. 030818 ... misstree sorry, that should be metasensuality 030818 ... endless desire if only? or contentment. what if hunger makes me happy? thin--maybe one day. yes, one day. (happy) hope? why not. . . but what if i could just be ellyn. what if i could just be ok with that? thin. that word depresses me. maybe thin could be relative? that'd be nice. 030819 ... nomme veil between here and there 030819 ... ferret nobody knew about johnny depp back then 030820 ... fat girl I'm 16, 5'3'' and 117 pounds. i HATE it. i once got down to 95 but i couldnt starve anymore, i love food. i eat for all my emotions. i want to become anorexic so food will disgust me rather than seem so appealing. i think anorexia is the only way i will actually lose weight. i cant do it by eating salad and working out. ive tried and it doesnt work. any advice how to make myself hate food and actually avoid it at all costs? help me get skinny! 031204 ... delial I'm about as thin as you can get. Or at least, that's how it feels to me. It's not all it's cracked up to be, trust me. It's pretty damned annoying when you CANNOT gain any weight. Persist trying to, and fail continuously. I'm at the point I just have accepted how I am. But it still pisses me off to no end when people weigh as much as I can only dream of weighing, and complain they don't weigh little enough. If you want to be a stick figure, you can trade bodies with me, how about that? The grass is always greener though, I suppose. 031204 ... usedtobeskinny FUCK YOU! 5'3" and 117. FUCK YOU! Stop whining about how fat you are. Wait 10 years and 50 pounds and then you'll have something to whine about. I fucking hate these little anorexic princesses who think their lives are over if they don't get below 100 lbs. You can't lose weight because you are not supposed to lose any more weight. You are at the low end of healthy RIGHT NOW! Dumb ass... I hope this post made you feel terrible. Then you will know how the rest of us normal people feel ALL THE TIME when we are constantly compared to you! 031205 ... misstree unless it's your build, 5'3" and 110 is actually under weight. there are people who are supposed to be proportioned like greyhounds, and on them it is beautiful, but even they have a smoothed skin over their forms, because they's *supposed* to be like that. if you have sharp angles as a girl, well, darlin' that's just gross. (this coming from the person who likes to see people without skin--that, at least, is natural, and real.) if you're starving yourself, you're hurting your body *badly.* if you're under 23 you're still growing, and you need proper nutrition. besides the slew of future medical problems that can arise, you're damaging your body's ability to do things like grow hair, flush out the secondary sex characteristics (all the signs of Maturity that are hardwired to turn on potential mates), and replenish systems as they naturally erode (basically, combat aging). you know what? if you want to destroy yourself, be my guest. the drinking and sleeplessness take their toll on me (though i at least get ot have fun doing it), i'd be perfectly happy to see one more whiny little dipshit that i can snap with one hand fall a little more to the wayside. you are earnestly wishing for a mental health problem. i hope you get it, and i hope it makes your life hell. 031205 ... misstree and for the people who want to gain weight, i would recommend talking to a doctor or a nutritionist, but weight training will help flush out a small frame, and while i want to recommend high-protien and high-carb foods as you want them, i could be so very wrong... do some research, talk to professionals or health buffs, it is doable. some people are built for lascivious curves, some for sprint running. just fit your skin and meat to your soul (even if it means beefing up your soul a little, all ye who wish to "fade_to_nothing"), and you're set. 031205 ... fat girl i feel better about myself when i am skinny, i am happy 031208 ... operation bingePurge i'm only going to love myself with a very tiny percent of fat on my body it's my life it's my body and since i'm too fucked up for love guess i'll find something else to do 040211 ... too thin i hate being thin, its depressing, iv tried things to help me put on weight but i just cant. i cry all the time when nobody is around, i cant even wear things that i want to... i want to be 'normal'... iv lost hope. i dont wonna go on no mur 040216 ... :_) i've never seen so many people complain about being thin. ironically, very few people have complained about wanting_to_be_thin. we all want what we can't have. as for me, i'm neither fat nor thin. but i'd rather be thinner by maybe 10 llbs or so. i see co-workers who are flesh and bones weighing themself and saying "i'm not thin enough" when they are my height and weigh 10-1bs less than me! at this point in my life, i simply love food more than i care what my body looks like. i won't deprive myself. but i still wish i were more thin. for anyone that complains about being thin, be greatful for what you have. 040216 ... the blind questioning the blind~ aka mad marri lef Thin is that elusive goal that torments many~those ever changable goal posts. When and where is there an end? When ur on the out side looking in its easy to condemn, because its *wrong* right? ~ Well wrong..thin can b ann illness, an addiction, a lifstyle, a disease, a passion and a poision all rolled into one. it can b both enemy and lover. Id love to blame culture, individuals, upbrining, the f***king media....but I some times wonder, as i debate this.. Is there a thin person inside of all, just screaming to b let out~climbing those mentall walls of frustration...to reach that final point of elation where they can finaly sleep easily and say, *yes, im THIN enough~enough? For some it doesnt exist, there is only vanishing point. Destination oblivion. All i ask is this~how many of u waif like females& males (yes i said males ) desire that scelator esq frame? or is it deeper..... r u in it till the end? I ponderover this, as i pick at my salad& mull over the calorie content of a tomatoe..why cant we stop this? and why dont we want to? 040421 ... ofsuch what is too thin? is it possible? thin. such a simple word means a lifetime of struggle 040430 ... elegance It comes to a time, post weekend of Ecstasy and floating and becoming a wave, when you pick up work clothes off the floor and pull them on to your poor starved body and if they hang on your hipbones then you can smile and say that you had a good weekend and you are happy again, and can float around the place again, just like you did last Saturday night. 040614 ... its okay i dont eat as a means of control. when the rest of my world is falling into a black hole, at least this is something positive i can do. And i love the endorphins, my endorsment, the happy cry telling me to keep me going. 040629 ... WAKE UP you tell me to eat more, that im too skinny WELL HAVE YOU TAKEN A LOOK IN THE MIRROR YOU FUCKEN HEADCASE you think a healthy day is a day when you dont eat anything, and you complain about feeling faint and your stomach rumbling as though its something normal, happening for a different reason other than the fact that your starving yourself. And you feel sick from eating too much, and when you throw up there must have been something wrong with your food. And you think our other friends are bullemic. why cant you see your scaring me and your perfect and why cant you just be happy? 040629 ... kookaburra better than skinny, not quite as good as slender. i really want to be seen as slender... 040629 ... neesh me, i eat lots and lots of chocolate, i love haribo and haagen dazs ice cream. i often eat macdonalds and burger king burgers, pizza hut pizzas. i either have sugary (frosties) or chocolately (coco pops) cereal in the morning, and have taken to having nutella sandwiches for lunch. and i'm LOSING weight. which isn't very good, because i'm borderline anorexic. rachel asked if i'm wearing loose shapeless clothes to conceal my diminishing waist, and i only realised later my clothes are *becoming* baggy because i'm getting so thin. they're not meant to be shapeless. i was so pleased last winter to find a pair of jeans my waist size and trouser length, and they're loose now. also i think i'm slightly taller. but i don't like to worry people, so i never mention when i know i need to eat, and i fit perfectly in one of the vicious cycles mon wrote about on red, that of not eating enough, and so being tired, going to sleep, and thus not eating for even longer, and so feeling more tired. i've actually fallen asleep at the dinner table right next to the food i needed to eat. "i've always known what it's like to be hollow," i said about my body. 050502 ... neesh incidentally, thinner and taller than anyone on this page, about 96 pounds and 5'10" or so. i win i win! i'm gonna have a bag of haribo and a sandwich. 050502 ... anomalous hmm. i've gained weight since the winter. i thought i was overweight but i'm not. i'm not really thin but i'm not exactly fat. 050513 ... lauren i am dying to be thin. literally. 060505 ... smokefaster smokefaster 070102 ... Bree I wish I was thin. Instead I'm 80kg and 5'4"/5'6". Food just keeps getting shoved in my face no matter what though. I just want to get down to 60, that isn't too much is it? 080203 what's it to you? who go blather from