unhinged when i look at myself now there is so much to see. that i just didn't want to before i met you. and i tried to apologize and you aren't saying anything. which serves me right but i still want you to say something...anything. even if it was just how much you hate me. please...i have more pretty days than ugly days. i look in the mirror with different eyes. eyes you gave me. things you taught me that were just those damn 'learned too late don't know what you have til it's gone' lessons. regret
superleni taught me how to 140716
Risen These past few years have taught me so much.

I have learned about myself, about life, and about love.

Something about not having romantic love in your life really puts it all in perspective. I spent so much time chasing myself in circles that this celibate time has allowed me to really develop my self-awareness and self-knowledge skills. To focus on other forms of love - my family, my dog.

The lack of friends, of a lover, of anyone to talk to, has made me more self-reliant and given me a very large awareness of exactly how little I really need to get by.

It is so freeing, it is a revelation.

Being self-taught is a gift, and while I am sad that I had to learn this lesson in such an ugly way, I am glad I know it now.
Risen (And that final paragraph could pretty much sum up my life!) 170112
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