revelation xyphoid wow, blather is like, kadine ;) 000614 ... somebody as blinds and curtains being removed, the light shines forth and for a moment you can see, and if the moment lasts, oh how clear the view. too often just a flash of lightning, a quick glimpse, and then you know, more certainly than ever, and you are never the same, now that you've seen. and somehow, you have developed the capacity to see yet more and more 000728 ... britten epiphony 000728 ... unhinged i figured out why i hate drugs so much. because they make me apathetic. when sober, i can't stand apathy. i'm a very passionate person about everything and that is what makes me sick. so i smoke, or drink, or pop some pills or do one or more in combination with the other and i just don't care about anything. sometimes i try to fight through the haze. other times i'm happy that i forget. and then i sober up and realize i'm turning into everything i despise. hhmm...=) 010310 ... nocturnal I'm the opposite. I care more about stuff when I'm not sober. when I am sober I find all the reasons why nothing that concerns me really matters. but that's just me. 010310 ... mikey chaos is the seed i sow. kinda nuts isnt it? pass them pills over please. heehee 010310 ... monadh isn't it amazing how a song can reach inside your soul 010310 ... no one I just had the best revelation! I just realized I really don't care what happens with you. I know, I should, but I don't, such freedom now. 010325 ... kingsuperspecial There is something incredible about coming to terms with things. I have found that what I most need is a relief from the idea that my problem exists for me alone, without reason or hope of change. The idea that I am 'normal', that what has happened to me made me this way, and that in the same circumstances 49 out of 50 people would have similar issues, is a huge step toward finding a way to get around the damage that has been done to me. (a) 010613 ... Dawson Smoke and alcohol waft through the air, from the shining clean hardwood floor to the high, black ceiling. The Corridor is dark, quiet and empty. The walls are a coarse black, uncluttered by decorations or windows. One hundred pairs of low torches cast a creepy glow along the entire length of the hall. Circles of light above each sconce dance with shadows on the floor below. At one end of the long and narrow dance hall are tall steel doors. The flames closest to the doors jump wildly as the doors sway open into the hall. Silently and slowly, the doors close behind three tall men. Dressed in fine black leather and holding cigarettes and briefcases in their hands, the men stand motionless inside the dance hall. They stand quietly while facing the bar, which seems miles away at the opposite end of the hall. “Let them in,” two of the men say in unison. The doors crash open and eager yells and humans flood the hall. Music cracks into existence; a slow, shocking bass line. Everything bounces, “doom, doom! duh-boom! doom, doom! duh-boom!” For hours, sweaty bodies slam into each other. Some rise and float over the steamy roiling mass. In a kind of ecstatic climax, accelerating squeaks and clicks smash over the rumbling beat, and the dancers shout approval. With what sounds like a rush of water, the music silences and at first the dancers hardly seem to notice. Fear plays over the entire hall, but every dancer’s expression is either expectant or ecstatic. Their dancing slows and they turn and stare towards the bar. The sound of a waterfall slams into the frozen dancers and quickly becomes a slow, booming, disembodied voice. “Revolution.” The hall screams and hundreds of fists pump in the air to an inaudible beat. 030324 ... rev22-1 he shewed me a pure river of water of life, clear as crystal, proceeding out of the throne of God and of the Lamb 030914 ... Spare Change Suddenly, your face in my head, filling the spaces where once random pieces sat lonely and unexamined. And I knew. You are indeed my friend and you love me as I love you. You understand me as no one else does and I understand you. My antithesis, my opposite, my one compatriot. We will stand back to back against the horrors of life and join in laughter when we turn as one to the sunrise. Twin ironies, twisted and folded until no part of one resembled the other and they fit, so smoothly, so readily. The world will see at once what everyone had missed before. 030914 ... m roboto and i attempted to see and i saw perhaps a glimpse with prophetic voice in hand with tomes and thoughts compiled like stacks collecting dust like dust was made from skin, dead. like libraries towering towards clouds and vapour trails i attempted to see and perhaps i saw a glimpse a glimpse of something rare of something unknown of something not compiled, reported or documented a glimpse of something ineffable, incalculable, incomprehensible perhaps i did see perhaps i might express it with form perhaps but not in content 040610 ... Squalidnangel Nature loves to copy and paste. 040610 ... witchesrequiem We are in Hell...or Heaven.. make it what u want! 040611 ... witchesrequiem We are in Hell...or Heaven.. make it what u want! 040611 ... pSyche it struck me today- a kind of delayed revelation from above- how beautiful you are and then it also struck me that I had never seen you 050315 ... deb And all at once it hits me: I am better than this. I am stronger than this. I will not let this beat me. The storm will come, the waves will crash, the wind will beat upon these walls... but it will pass. It will. And I'll come out the other side all the stronger. Bring it on, because I cannot do THIS anymore. 100917 what's it to you? who go blather from