lonely jeff loneliness... is that not what chains us down? sometimes, i feel that it is one of the most wonderful things in the world. to withdraw from the world and live in your own for a time. but the ache in your heart, mind, and stomach gnaws away until there is nothing left but a deep fucking hole. it is a drug best not served, but there is no escape. 980905 ... Rob lonelyness is hell. and I feel like the devil should start charging me rent by now. 981021 ... sarah why are you so far away from me? 981021 ... emma and then you start to wonder about all your interactions. why am i interested in talking to you? because i like you or because i am interested in talking to anyone other than myself? am i a whore? 990123 ... adam is me; i am lonely 990218 ... daxle I don't know if it's possible for me to be lonely. I don't mind being alone at all. I just mind being without people I like, and especially people (okay, person)who I love. 990428 ... ceorl I like people well enough, but they can be tiresome. Lonely? Never. I find myself daydreaming about jobs like lighthouse keeper or solo deep space freighter pilot. I'd really miss not having a dog though. 990428 ... lee I am two boned sockets brimming up to hold you like a well spills up to hold it's moon. I am the blood and bone to your breath- If you leave my body where can I live? Stretched like a fish on sand? Hoping your tide turns back in time? 990719 ... jessica always lonely. it's looking someone in the eye and knowing they don't see you. it's being in a crowd and laughing, knowing you're the only one there. it's staring at the cracks as they talk, and then missing out. it's past and present, and it creeps up when you're not looking. and you wonder where the hell it came from, because it wasn't there for just a moment maybe. 990920 ... thera not the same as being alone. 991005 ... Drennan I don't really know what it is to be alone. Perhaps it's that gutwrenching pain that crawls up from the back of my skull when I'm on my own (or maybe that's just a migrane), it claws at your throat, just wanting to scream help, for sanctury away from the lonelyness of being human. If that's what lonelyness is, then I hate it. I hate being alone. 991007 ... Alexander Beetle There was a whole clique when I was in high school that bitched and moaned and complained to each other about having no friends. Didn't have the guts to be truly lonely. I hate posers. 991120 ... deb ... so so lonely, even in a crowded room.... 991215 ... meli It creeps up on you. Being alone is great, but imagining that the alone-ness will never really end is when loneliness gets you. 000105 ... koti ..lonely is what i am....mostly.. 000108 ... gaudior afraid trapped in a box of others' device "GODDAMMIT, WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?" no longer 000112 ... Alien I need... Why do you reject? 000119 ... cliff i knew a girl like that 000120 ... zap! I'm only lonely in my head. Cause no one can share my mind with me. 000217 ... Christy His hand fell away and I remembered the loneliness. How can one survive alone, knowing the power of human touch? 000302 ... Rachel Lonliness staring deeper into my soul. Living day by day never saying a word. do you not know I'm there? Who are you? I wouldn't know I don't know anyone. 000302 ... lizard loneliness creeps upon me its shadow blackening the scenery i've carefully landscaped with my friends engulfed in one corner and innate beauty in the other. beauty is good, there when you're feeling strong. helps you be secure in your isolation, experiencing between you and the world. friends help you spend your time, divert your attention from your intimate little world. loneliness is stronger than all of that, and as it exhales an icy breath down my neck, i remember the feel soft lips on my own.. someone's hand grasping mine.. eyes i fell into.. whispered pretty words. seems so petty to some, seems weak in their eyes.. seems weak in my eyes... the longing remains. 000522 ... em loneliness it drives me insane stemming from corners where sanity never touched loneliness shouldn't belong but it does and it eats me away slowly 000524 ... MollyGoLightly I was standing at the bar with my dorm suitemates when this blond man with glasses tapped my arm, leaned toward me, and said: "i think you're pretty. in a natural way." He pulled back and said "i'm sorry. i'm so drunk. i'm sorry." over and over. From the expression on his face I could tell no one had really listened to anything he'd said for months. 000524 ... Wil My bed Used to be so huge and empty At night, now I need no comfort I can live alone without loving Without closeness or touch But I crave all the same 000531 ... Phoebe is knowing that wherever I go, I stand alone, longing in silence, wanting to have the courage to be a nobody. But it never happens because I am a coward, that maybe deep down I really want to make that splash. 000623 ... Brad Working on it.... 000624 ... The Schleiffen Man today is one of the boring days. i sit at home and play online all day, waiting for someone, or anyone to talk to.... but they're all out in the sunshine, doing people things while i sit alone. if only i didn't choose to be so bored. 000708 ... birdmad joy_division 000709 ... p2p I reached out to you and I fell short of you only to push you even further away, and as I drown here I wonder if you were ever there in the first place. 000712 ... gigaphairy I wasn't lonely before. But then the time I spent I wouldn't give back. But now it's gone... I'm lonely. 000717 ... grendel "how i wish you were here with me now" 000717 ... klarchen "I am here, but I am no substitute", said the girl. "Nutrasweet is no substitute for sugar", she added. 000717 ... disabled Yeah that's right, blame me for you feeling lonely. Like I didn't have feelings at the time. Like I didn't find it hard being alone. I was confused and why should you get to make me feel guilty when all I needed to do was sort my head out? But you do. And maybe you don't know it yet but that probably isn't for the best. 000722 ... Aaron lonely.... am i so? that the world wrecks me to bits with the teeth of love. they grind and tear at the self that is me until the mush that is spit back in my face is undiscernable as my heart. 000802 ... Lodi Child *Sigh* I'm really lonely. Is anybody else lonely? Because I would love to have a conversation here. 000806 ... Lodi Child *Sigh* I'm really lonely. Is anybody else lonely? Because I would love to have a conversation here, if you are. 000806 ... stan Lodi Child balloons and ferris wheels cotton candy and dandelion fluff 000806 ... Lodi Child So are you talking about the annual Lodi Corn Festival or what? :) 000806 ... misstree i was talking to the boy who was different, the one who i could sink into like a dream and forget the rest of the world, telling him i couldn't move to texas and raise horses with him. i needed to travel, i needed to write. he looked into my eyes, and with the horrible spark of truth said, "you're going to lead a very lonely life." i looked back at him, the hand that had pierced the surface of this cold, brackish pool, and said, "i know. crazy old lady with lots of cats. at least i'll always have myself." i wonder if he heard the bitterness i tried to hide, if he saw the tears that i tried not to share. if only it didn't feel like so much of a death sentence. 001128 ... purple lady The lights have dimmed The sparkle dies No-one hears Her desperate cries The darkness invades Thoughts whirl around No-one sees her sobbing Alone on the ground Her soul is fading And so is she Only one person Can set her free But it cannot happen It will not be His eyes are closed He cannot see. . . Onwards she travels She falters, she stumbles The life she knew It fades, it crumbles The lights have dimmed The sparkle dies He doesn't hear Her desperate cries 001128 ... foo i am so lonely..i have someone but they are soo far away..i miss him soo much 001128 ... god take comfort. all that has happened must happen again. the size of time contains repetition of every possible sequence and combination of everything in every direction. 001128 ... gwyllynne somebody told me that loneliness was like being blind..... .....then I must be blind 001129 ... chanaka everyone has their time to be lonely. now is mine is it over yet? 001129 ... steve is 001129 ... frustrational Why won't anyone understand the real root of what's behind everything that's happening to me? This is not just some sequence of unconnected mini-dramas! This is not just me 'creating'! I'm lonely, for heaven's sake. Isn't that obvious? A family in tatters, most of whom I don't speak to. A dwindling circle of friends, many of whom I used to be trust implicitly, but about whom I'm no longer as certain - since the feelings of paranoia and ostracism invaded me. And the person I want is so many miles away, the person whom if I could even just hear down a phone line, listening to me and understanding me, might make things better. But instead, I just shrug, sigh, pick up my belongings, turn round and head on in to another day. When will this ever end? When will my mind stop closing in on me? When will I not feel lonely? 001208 ... amalthea sometimes people will tell me that they are lonely, or friend-less, or miserable, or that the world is against them, they don't fit in, and they're sick of it. as they tell me my anger crawls through me and i think, you do not know what these things are. you cannot imagine life without your soft enclosure of the things you say you lack. and then i have to look at them to offer my condolences on their behalf and i see that they think it's true, what they've said, and i see them lonely, miserable, hating their selves and lives. the next time i see them, laughing and smiling with the company of their friends, my anger is the thing that isn't there, and i can only feel myself twist into painful sadness as i wonder how to be lonely like them. 001208 ... amy this thing is, a lot of people do care. but you've earned the right to be honest with YOUR OWN self. again. can't you see the power in that? can't you see how totally admirable that is? can't you see that you've been TOO RIGHT about a lot of things? and amalthea, i feel like that a LOT. 001208 ... 1414 I am so lonely I wish to crawl back to my mother I am so lonely, I want to die. Forgive me God. 001210 ... god Hey, you didn't do anything to me, aint got no beef with ya. 001210 ... Greg Loneliness is a blessing and a curse. To be able to be comfortable with oneself, no matter what the circumstances, is a great gift. However, it can be damn boring sometimes. 001211 ... Mike Sometimes I wonder if there's no one out there for me. Does everyone feel like this? Why do I lose everyone I love? 001216 ... chanaka wander wander in the ice storm alone and shivering why won't anyone warm me up? 001216 ... ares two words: it sucks 001227 ... Anna Is addictive, dont fall in love with lonely or any other spurious reality. I could hide behind lonely forever, but the truth is i like to be alone, but it still scares me. 001228 ... stupidpunkgirl i was never lonely before you. i never needed anyone. i could spend hours by myself. when i met you i wanted to spend all of my time with you, and you did, too, with me. now that you're gone i'm so lonely. it's so hard now, to be by myself. all i do is think about you. 001228 ... kx21 You are not... if you one of the Members of INTERNET / WWW. As it would keep your sensors & mind busy. 001229 ... Ajuna lonelyness is like an ocean of fish iwth the same color and only you being different. Its Being your own best friend. Its not being able to shair your mind with another. Its like jazz a slow drug of mellowness. Its like a stake in your hart, you want to pull it out but it feels too good for you to let go, and above all its ME 010101 ... Anthony lonely is searching Yahoo for the word lonely, and finding 517 links to a travel agency, and only one link that is truely about loneliness. 010101 ... kx21 leading indicator of depression 010101 ... Peyton is seeing all these people talk about loneliness and wishing you could meet someone like that in your own mundane life.. so you could help them help you help each other... its like knowing if you met someone like that.. someone REAL.. you would be so deriously happy that you'd actually wonder why people posted words about lonliness to total strangers.. its trying to find a saviour in a gutter.. its a hope that someone will agree with you and send you a message saying how interesting you are.. its not having to listen to the people next door fuck and wondering how shallow you have to be to simply not be lonely anymore.. and its like Anthony said.. its searching Yahoo for lonely and finding 517 links to a travel agency and only one about lonliness.. 010102 ... kx21 Wrong engine or search about lonliness... b l a t h e o f LONELY as at 010102:_ lonely 1984 2 alicia alma alone amazed amber archipelago ask_lovers_lament ataraxia badreligion band bastard beautiful before blankie blather blathster buzzbomb cemetary chatroom club clueless comnunication complete complicated cucumber dead doesn't_matter dogma down eleanor escape everyone excessive explanation extreme fetid finally fist_kittens friend glow godspeed_you_black_emperor good_night goodriddance grubby halcyon halogen harveydanger hate hearts heroin homegrown how_does_it_feel i illusions in_my_darkest_hour inside invitation jail just_another_day kisses l living lizphair loneliness lonely_flower longdistance longing lonliness loomer love lovesongs lyrics mail_me_a_bowl_of_cereal masturbation melody miles moon mumbles my_best_dream nietzsche nin noses not nothing obnox one only pardon ph pig poetic polyester prior_to_'love_is_a_fallacy' publicdisplayofaffection reality sadness santaana'swhamagram self sex sharp_embrace_of_night she sleep solitude solitude_and_isolation songs_for_the_heartbroken suicide tangled tell_me_something that_letter theoretically thin_line toilet torture turkey tweezer two unanswered_messages unharness vicious wandering_alone winter wish withered within woke world wraith wrong wub_wub your_still_eyes zarah zoophilic 010102 ... Peyton oh.. and by the way.. www.lonely.com is a pornsite... Isn't that depressing enough? 010102 ... lizard if i had friends, i would be calling them right about now. people leave. the stars are always there. 010102 ... misstree sometimes you just have to make yourself better company. 010103 ... Quiggz Me thinks we're all lonely in a way. If we weren't, we'd all be happy. I know I'm lonely, a lot. But if it's a mutual thing, why haven't we all gotten together? I guess we're all not good enough for everyone else, and vise versa. Why's that? Who knows? 010103 ... La La It is a sad state, this loneliness, it is if I do not know myself, as if I could not be my own companion. I love all that is, but I am alone. I will bathe in this no thing ness and be alone with my thoughts that I share with only you. You are a part of the nothingness. This vast realm is so lonely. 010104 ... Sintina I have a friend who is lonely. He's in a world far away that I don't know. I miss him. Weird. This place is weird. Soothing. I like it here. 010105 ... Mel Hello out there. I am standing in front of you, but why does no-one see me ? Its hurts more to be unnoticed than it does to be shunned. Will anyone ever be able to see me ? I mean really see me ? 010108 ... Blanch god I'm lonely. 010112 ... god god here. now there's two of us. 010112 ... somebody all the lonely people where do they all come from? all the lonely people where do they all belong? eleanor rigby died in a church and was buried along with her name nobody came father mckinsey wiping the dirt off his hands as he walks from the grave no one was save i look at all the lonely people where do they all belong 010115 ... somebody all the lonely people where do they all come from? all the lonely people where do they all belong? eleanor rigby died in a church and was buried along with her name nobody came father mckinsey wiping the dirt off his hands as he walks from the grave no one was save i look at all the lonely people where do they all belong 010115 ... Lucien I wear a face in a jar by the door Do you want to know who it is for? 010117 ... dean-bean Wow. So many lonely people. Well, I refuse!...Hello? 010128 ... sleepless It's the need to know you're wanted The need to know you are there Need for the comforting embrace Need for a soothing word He took himself to his family But they had all turned away Mother to the dregs of a bottle The father uncaring and cruel He took himself to a special one A long distance bridge to be crossed Sometimes the words flowed like honey Most often the words confused He took himself to companions A feeling of guilt at this move Sometimes the true understanding But sometimes mere platitudes Walking the streets in the rain The move to the fanciful image Feeling the loneliness cutting Knowing not where to turn The tears come at difficult moments Wipes them away in deep shame Begging for sleep and an ending But rest doesn't visit tonight Can I not rely on my own self? Cannot my heart provide strength? I turn to it asking for comfort But it's silent, exhausted and spent His desire for words never-ending Communicates into the skies Hoping on hope for reaction Knowing that nothing will come A night sitting writing to no one A day somewhere walking alone The desire for all to be ended The desire to take life away Cradling loneliness at midnight Unravelling this mortal coil The threads unravel in tatters The thread lost years ago "Some will call this self-indulgence (they are lucky not to know its truth) Some will know the simple fact of pain This is becoming my normality." Sarah Kane - 4.48 Psychosis 010203 ... raechel Loneliness is bliss...but dont be there tonight to tuck you in again....I'll do it all in my mind.... 010211 ... justin Don't forget you need someone to hold your hand every once in a while. 010220 ... Dafremen I stopped being depressed by loneliness long ago when I was a child. Loneliness was a solace and a sanctuary to that tortured child. People brought pain, this was a fact I learned early on. When I was lonely there was peace, even the occasional moment of happiness which I clutched to my heart and cherished always. It got me through the bad times, I could always close my eyes and remember those little glimpses into my own personal paradise. Alone with my thoughts and away from the want want wanting of everyone else. Away from the twisted revellry as they reveled in my misery, but I was far away somewhere they could not go, they could not get me. Loneliness was truly the best friend I had in the world, is to this day. I love my wife and children, spend as much time with these wonderful people as I can bear, but eventually I must be alone again, I must. I need to go back to those safe and loving embrace formed by the gentle arms of solitude. Then I can cope and feel free and once again truly be the only me that I have ever known. 010220 ... Lady Morgaine is a controling emotion. It controls me sometimes. I'm a strong young women with high self esteem and self confidence and full of life yet even lonlely gets a hold on me from time to time. I'm lonely because in my world I stand alone. I have lots of friends, loving parents, and wonderful teachers but I am alone. I stand for myself. I support everyone in my life, so who is left to support me? I'm the net to a trillion tight-ropers who have little, if any, balance. Lonely fills my heart. Especially since my ex dumped me in March of 2000 just before our 6 month when I was fully in love and then proceeded to date my friend. I hated to see him so happy on valentine's Day was I felt so alone and so miserable. If this makes sense, I'm happy that their happy but I'm hurt because they're so happy and I'm so not. Well what can i do about it? I'll tell you what I began to do about it. I became friends with benefits with my long-lasting crush and got my heart tangled in the whole mess. I love hima and I don't even think he really has emotional feelings for me except as a friend. Well what's a girl to do? This girl rolls wth the punches. Let's the lonely in her heart sit and wait for a major upset or he day when it can be released. Maybe one day the right person, a Prince in shining armor, will come and free my heart from the wicked lonely, but until then I must live with it as a burden. Like the protagonist of The Scarlet Letter, I carry the visible sign of lonely. Perhaps the day when I will be free will come soon. I trully hope it does. 010221 ... kx21 The best time to look for NOTHING... 010221 ... stormy waters never never ever ever ever never ever never never ever never ever maybe maybe not 010222 ... stormy waters i've reconsidered 010223 ... jerrym/WAR you can't get away from alone you have to be alone before you can find other people you can't hold on to life you can only touch it . 010305 ... bret congratulations, you're the best, you're the one and only. we'll be down here with the rest, and leave you to feel lonely. 010327 ... dB Everyone has added their two cents to this one. It seems that everyone feels slone at some point. To me, being alone is like a job. It's something I force upon myself every day from the moment I get up until the moment I try to go to sleep again. I see people all the time. I talk to them. Eat with them. Work with them. But they are not there. They seem transparent, hollow, and to them I must appear teh same way. Although it is me talking to them or doing the other things, it is no more than the act of pretending to be there. So it is with me. I never let anybody in to see me as myself. If I did, they would probably run away. When I am alone, that is to say; when there are no toher physical entities around me, I am at more at peace. There is no need to keep the pretense that I am a social animal, no need to act. So I am free to be myself, which doesn't matter because no one is around to see, not that any physical change is apparent. There is a kind of pureness in that. I certainly have nothing to do with society and society seems well happy to have nothing to do with me. So as an outsider looking in, as one would study a spider in a tank, I observe. humans are there merely as objects of study. What do you think you would see if you were the observer. If you could observe the whole population knowing that not a single one of them means anything to you at all, thereby taking away any objections or emotional ties that you have to the subject. If you could see the world as I see it, what do you think you would see? 010327 ... Dafremen I know exactly what you would see Db. You would see that individual people are the most fragile, silly precocious things in nature and that the mob is a senseless maniacal blob of incoherent illogical sheep, those same silly precocious individuals deluding themselves into thinking that they are being led or leading, when in fact they are ALL simply following their tails. Having been an outside observer for most of my life, I really have no desire to be a part of the societal mess any more than you do, but there's more to it for me than that. I truly FEEL for these poor misguided souls. The tragedy of a human's existence in human society touches some deep rooted paternal instinct in me. I want to take the whole of society and untangle the "closet full of coat hangers" for each individual so that perhaps it will all makes sense for them somehow. I guess I want to ease their needless suffering. My years of observation, from early childhood, through adolescence to parenthood and approaching middle age have all culminated in TWO words that say it all and which have become my motto: Sto0pid Rulez 1. The rules are indeed stupid and you are as likely to find a caterpillar in a box of cracker jacks as to make sense of them. Stop trying. However, 2. As stupid as they are, that stupid RULES. Whether we want it or not, we were born into this human system full of these insane rituals, customs, traditions and nonsensical laws. The sooner we get it into our heads that we CANNOT live entirely outside of this system, because it RULES our lives and the environment we live in, the sooner we will realize that the only solution is to get numb to the stupid and play the stupid game that they want us to play, at least enough to avoid the consequences of complete denial ALA teenage rebellion. After a few years of playing the game you will come to find that 3. Stupid RULES!!! If I close my eyes to the idiocy and play stupid, I can have a pretty damned good time while I'm here, and since as far as we know, this life is all we have, playing the game and following the stupid rules really pays off. Not for them, for you. You spend less time letting them fuck with you and more time actually LIVING, granted, it's within the confines of THE RULES, but fuck it, it beats the consequences of constantly trying to ingore the rules and ending up beating your head against them(or having you brains beat out by them). Yes, DB. I, like you, am an observer and I know EXACTLY what you see when you take the time to look, and it beats anything on T.V. by a long shot. Sto0pid Rulez Db, Sto0pid Rulez... - - 010404 ... lost a feeling too known by me. 010404 ... lost something that i am not anymore. Its crazy how one day can change my attitude so much, or at least what can happen in one day. No what can happen in like 20 minutes. Changes my whole way of thinkin'. 010405 ... Marek its hard having so much to say, and no-one to say it to. 010412 ... dls i am most lonely when i am within a crowd. i choose to live alone. 010424 ... Dafremen So stop bitching about life and telling everyone to f*ck off. If you don't want to have anything to do with us...why the f*ck should we be your therapy?! On behalf of myself and society I cordially invite you to get f*cking lost! 010511 ... nardo some us don't choose to be loners, it chooses us. 010520 ... kardinal Only when I think hard enough am I lonely. I have saturated myself in an imaginary dreamworld. It numbs me from my lonelyness...only when I face the truth am I said or afraid. And see what I think, I really don't have. I am unable to accept. I am lost. I am. 010523 ... kardinal I look at myself and see someone else. I am not myself anymore. I'm not just lonely for companionship...I am lonely for myself. I live above myself, in a world pulled over my eyes to keep my emotions numb and under contorl. It feels like I got lost somewhere in a childhood, and then became an adolescent in a different place. A place where I am not. Because i'm sad, i'm tired, and i'm lonesome. I miss my father, I miss my friends, I miss me. Where did my life go? 010523 ... kardinal am I dead? 010523 ... god i ask that same thing all the time 010524 ... Devilsquishy Being lonely is the fear that everything you say is empty and that you are only a shadow of something else that is real. Loneliness is when you step outside yourself and agree that you aren't even there. Loneliness is losing something willingly only to realize you were wrong and they are gone and there's nothing you can do about it. 010617 ... uglyduckling is watching other people not look at you 010618 ... uglyduckling is jerking off for the ???th time and still being a virgin 010618 ... uglyduckling is considering not getting a phone because you really don't have anyone to call 010618 ... helppppp meeee shhitt Ghostbusters. what is the number does any body know? 010619 ... ncon there is some relation to success. this hope that i felt once, it is fading; but the solitude ( i wish that i have eared it ) is deafening. it is not as though i cry, but suffering happens even with the most success, and sometimes i wish that i was not so driven by success. failure might not have been so hard. (at least i would have had company) 010715 ... *Ziima* This is how it feels... Cold stone walls, water dripping and seeping through the cracks...barely clothed...cold...shivvering...wretched..Very little space..you sit curlked up to yourself...alone...against the cold stone...the water soaks your torn and tattered attire...tears run down your pale skin...As you wish for as little as a warm hug. 010720 ... nemo how do i make it go away...? 010720 ... Weed Eater IT IS NOT ROCKET SCIENCE PEOPLE! Love is the answer to everything, and if you have love, then you'll be loved. If you are loved, then you are never lonely. (duh!) These same people that gripe about lonelyness are the same ones that praise negative things elsewhere on blather. (gee I wonder if there's a pattern here?") Shit trickles downward. 010720 ... Casey You know what is really pathetic. Your never really lonely. Because lonliness will be with you 24/7 to keep you company. Yep, I know, I even confuse myself sometimes 010721 ... Mushroomman number 1 is the loneliest number... 010722 ... me freaky 010821 ... sage girl i am so lonely without desmend 010925 ... Sting so. another night finds me alone. 011009 ... Spellchecker Yes, I'm starving too. 011010 ... starved it's no new talle to tell beleve me 011010 ... yummychuckle I stand amidst bunches of hands and people and beings and pieces of everyone are floating around me, but I'm still lonely. 011010 ... Grievance I'm glad I'm lonely, or I would dwindle completely to this shell, that says, "OK!" in a hyper voice and follows everything around oblivously. The loneliness set me straight. And now I know, and just have keep with the fight. I hope... hope. 011012 ... T Life is only the stories we tell and therefore what can we say that life is nothing but a litany of regret? Alone, and dead soon enough - loneliness is a disease, herediary and incurable. 011019 ... birdmad the surest hell i know and always seemingly around the corner 011019 ... unhinged it's a friday night and i'm all by myself in the lab. 011019 ... anthony broomfield experienced by Adam exsisted before Eve there is an amazing treasure that lies within loneliness but it is oh so hard to uncover 011103 ... SuicidalAngel You guyz express the words that I think. Everyday all the time, these exact thoughts go through my mind. On this page, is your deepest thoughts and emotions and I can relate, making me feel less alone. Just knowing that others DO feel this agony. Then again, I realize I'm just sitting here alone in my room, looking at my computer screen and knowing that none of you know or care about me. I wouldn't expect you to, but it's the the truth and the same goes for everyone here. I just want someone here in my little town to talk to. Just someone that I can sit down with in a quiet place and talk with. I want us to relate and have an understanding of eachothers lonlyness. I need someone I dont hide things from. Someone I know I can run to when I need to talk. I want to know that someone thinks the same of me, they trust me to shair with me, what others dont know about them and they can run to me when they need a friend.. where are they? 011104 ... birdmad cigarettes and liquor and al_green records on a cloudy day so tired... 011105 ... Devilsquishy Lonely is me now all the time. Lonely is how I have decided I need to be. Lonely is the echo of my voice in an empty room. Lonely are the happy memories. Lonely are the tears on my face. Lonely are the stares of those who look upon me with contempt and hatred and beauty and love. Lonely is me scared and on the floor bleeding. 011107 ... ClairE The curse we share together. Our greatest fear. The meaning behind death. I can't think about it right now because I've escaped it right now. I am only currenly experiencing the superficial loneliness, where I just want someone to love. That is not deep gut loneliness. That kind is where you can't get away from it, and cry, and want to run. Nope, not feeling that today. 011210 ... Kyuti Lonely.. not just us. Stop.. then take a look around you and see all the people out there looking at you.. feeling lonely and wishing you would go up and talk to them. But wait.. isn't that what I am feeling right now? guess everybody can look around and wish.. but someone's gotta make the first step. Lonely person + another lonely person = no more lonely ppl 011210 ... ClairE Now instead of feeling surrounded by emptiness whereever I turn, I just feel lonely without you. Lovely luxury. 011217 ... me the saddest thing is how people attack the sad and the lonely shouldn't someone be allowed to vent, to cry a little? why is crying against the rules? why is whining against the rules? why are so many people so hostile to someone who is finally expressing themselves? so what if you don't like their medium. so what if you don't like that they do it here. what's it to you? do you own this place? grow up... let the sad cry. if you are really so much better, move on and forget them. i'm lonely. i know no one cares. it just feels better to voice it. to say it for once. i feel i have lived my whole life under glass, being scrutinized and objectified. so what? so what i cry, in my manicured wildnerness. please, forgive my outbursts. i lived under an opressive father. i left home early, and rented from an opressive couple, while i worked for an opressive man. i left there and got an apartment. i worked for another opressive man. i met an opressive woman. i left her. i am on my own now. i work for myself. i am with a kind woman. but i am still lonely... i still have a hard time speaking my mind. my whole life i have been told to shut up. i have been told i don't have a right to speak. why is that? oh, don't tell me. i know. the world picks at self-doubt like a scab. yes, yes it does. and that makes me a scab. farewell, cruel world. maybe next time i can be a goldfish. 020210 ... lycanthrope in some sense of the word...if we're not alone...even sloppily alone...we don't exist...there is no us to even survive...it seems other people are necessary just for there to be lonliness...it's the space we create when close that is vibrantly deadly 020224 ... erinicolejax I'd rather be lonley waiting for you. Than in the company of someone else. The ache would still be in my heart. At least this way everyone knows. 020718 ... phil bad 020719 ... bloody sleaves lonelyness eats away at your insides until theres nuthing left. until your hollow or so exhausted with arguing the "rules" of society and the systems of socuality that your insaine, or so fucked up that you can't spell your own name. wishing people would just leave you alone for a fucking minuet so you can think and observe and destroy your own words. alone is what i am forever. theres nuthing inside that wishes to just simply exist i wonder why all these people don't understand or going crazy from thought. why arent they all like me? am i really just alone? is it all there is in here is me? so fucking alone. 021210 ... shattttered and i'm so lonely i don't even want to be with myself anymore - dido 021230 ... theonegodforgot if lovers blood was like wine, mine would be white all the time, waiting for that someone to poor me a little color. 030202 ... krimilda then... the colour of my blood is going to make me cry everytime 030202 ... Rauken It's sad how much someone can do to you by not doing anything at all. 030506 ... shiva me tonight. 030506 ... trixie words that may never reach your ears are farther than my mouth could ever see. is it me? is it you? i would feel gracious and comfortable to say it was us, but there is no we, it's mainly me and then there's you, but only the way i see it. my heart, the thing all teenage girls clutch to beg to please, aches, as it seems to do quite easily, and i'd like to run out my door in this clear night and enjoy the jog over the river that separates our two seemingly kind homes and want to run even faster because i would know that you would be there. this mirage of you simply existing pulsates in my nervous bones and lifts me from reality, infusing my life with hope. you, yourself, are not particularly hopeful or even evangelistic. in truth, you are cool an cold yet grab at our hearts (oh that fickle and flirtatious muscle!) while you look in the other direction, somehow distracted by perhaps the option of new and escape. i don't even have to run across the river and past all the little houses, actually i don't think i ever will. no matter how much i can obsess over that curled lip and heavy brow, and swear that my soul fits to yours, my lungs will always jump into my throat and my mind will sink back into a calm meditation of fear and working my love on you behind my eyes. what would i say to you if somehow i let myself be an open soul to you again? even though my cells and molecular structure all tell me it will never happen and just can't happen, i still wonder what i would even say to you. in the flesh you are so much more than the massive character i've conceived in my own body. it blows the personality out of me and i'm only a heap of walking sticks and common phrases. you are so you that it takes up the entire space we are in and pushes the me way out so i don't even know where to begin. i can only see you in proper proportions when i am far and looking from over my shoulder. here, although so far i can never speak to you, nor you to me, and i can hardly see you or feel the heat floating around your body, i can be me relating to you. i just wish i wasn't such a truly shy and sheepish clown impersonating a diva. and i wish i could run so far away that you wouldn't even exist, even in the folds of my mind. i wish i could bathe you out of me and cleanse my tired self so i could lean against someone else, who would not be nearly as much of a spark as you and a man as you and an intoxicating potion as you. but that person just might pay attention to me, and i wouldn't be so drunk to stay falling over into you and drinking you and wallowing in you and thirsting for more even though i am drunk and sick. 030506 ... endless desire ive told many people about my walls. they are the walls to my home. the beautiful yellow house i live in. . .swarming with siblings and family, smells and love. i dont see it htat way anymore all i see now is four walls. four dark walls. and they are closing in. the way those walls do in stars wars. except there is not stopping them. slowly, but surely, they come. it might be a while until they finally crush me, but they still suffocate me day by day. its so lonely watching them come and knowing my eventual fate. i wish i was blind to it all. they smother me. i can feel them. they are breathing down my neck. my chest is tight and the pressure builds. i hate this feeling. im always falling and they are taking my every escape from me. i guess you could say my parents are the box keepers. i want out of this box, these walls, and everything theyve ever taught me. but they are keeping me here. stuffing their morals and ideas and close-ways down my throat. im gagging on them. and i hate it. rescue me. tell me im not alone. even though i am. . . but then again, denial a powerful emotion. 030507 ... your mom how ironic that you say that. you have done the exact thing you just stated. 030507 ... endless desire care to explain the irony? id be interested to hear. 030512 ... your mom I am sorry endless desire that was not directed at you but rather a previous blather. 030512 ... endless desire thanks for clearing that up. i was quite confused. 030516 ... rubydee way too much recently. 030615 ... purple braclet look whos lonely now... you havent dont much lately 030626 ... not important to endless desire- we are only as alone as we want to be. I completely collapsed awhile back and now I am better at stopping myself from caving. Its... knowing how much you really need, and when? I suppose. I lost the only good friend I had within twenty miles recently and then I realized, it did matter, but it wasn't the end of me. There are always escapes. Distant friends. Yourself. Blather. Religion, at times. Music. Dancing around the room late at night. So keep up living and searching. Shoot, I care. (I hate saying that... I always remind myself of Luke Skywalker... but I am not your brother or trying to sleep with you.) 030706 ... ItGirl Lets be lonely together. 030708 ... clarey I feel so lonely without him. He says he loves me, but he can't know what I'm feeling. How lost I am. We go our seperate ways soon. He can't see what I see. I think life is unbearable without him. Not worth it. I try to explain, but it comes out wrong. He has no idea how much I need him, & how disgusted I am with myself for letting it get this bad, go this far. I need him, I love him xx 030710 ... crimson I feel so trapped inside of it I cannot get out of this place I want a boy who doesn't talk or get boring. 030816 ... crimson i am alonely. 030828 ... pseudoneesh i wonder if people ignore me all the time, and i only notice when i'm lonely? 031004 ... spathic can be comforted in a variety of ways vis. sex, marriage, ice cream, party hats but is permanent human condition. 031010 ... nomatter I'm ashamed of what came to mind when I saw this word 031011 ... ferret i'm swimming in it's filth 031011 ... spathic i just can't get it together man. how come half the world's crying and the other half is crying too? -janis joplin 031016 ... . . 031129 ... Afro If you ever get lonely, look at the space between your fingers and remember how mine fit perfectly between yours. 031211 ... bissa anyone else lonely? 031218 ... doar always. 031219 ... Radhi I get lonely on Saturday mornings, knowing that there is nothing to look forward to. Monday is a day away, too far for me to look foward to, and Friday is already forgotten. I am stuck with this short/extremely long period of time, by myself. Saturday is too short to finish everything I need to, and to long with the prospect of only myself as company. That is why I get lonely on Saturday mornings. 040131 ... :_) i believe there was someone here named jane i think who was lonely in another blathe. my heart goes out to her wishing for to have a boyfriend. because loneliness it's fun. i'm not currently lonley. i think good thoughts for jane others like them. i wish and pray for them they find the love of their life. 040201 ... :_) i believe there was someone here named jane i think who was lonely in another blathe. my heart goes out to her wishing to have a boyfriend. because loneliness is't fun. i'm not currently lonley. i think good thoughts for jane and others like them. i wish and pray for them they find the love of their life. 040201 ... :_) i believe there was someone here named jane i think who was lonely in another blathe. my heart goes out to her wishing to have a boyfriend. because loneliness isn't fun. i'm not currently lonley. i think good thoughts for jane and others like them. i wish and pray for them they find the love of their life. 040201 ... :_) i believe there was someone here named jane i think who was lonely in another blathe. my heart goes out to her wishing to have a boyfriend. because loneliness isn't fun. i'm not currently lonley. i think good thoughts for jane and others like her. i wish and pray for them they find the love of their life. 040201 ... :_) needs to not press the stop key on her browser. one million sorrys to all!!!! 040201 ... :_) needs to proofread before posting. 040201 ... jane was it a boyfriend i wanted/ was it something i said/ i do not recall/ it could have all been in my head/ 040202 ... mickey I was never lonely when I had no one because I had noone to miss. Now that I have someone, I'm lonely more often even though in truth I'm less alone than I was. 040208 ... emmi very much so. 040218 ... s . 040218 ... ee beep peep lonely... because i haven't heard from him because i don't know when we'll hang out because no one understands me except him because everyone thinks i'm "crazy" because he's the only one who believes me, and vice-versa because he's the only one who really listens because he is the friend that every person in the world needs because i see a future with him because i miss him 040219 ... brain stew wow, afro. wow. you made me look at my fingers and think of some very special times. 040219 ... unintentionally fell in love again i hate it when your only friend is friendly only 'cause he's lonely 040228 ... emmi i was up for 6 hours, midnight to 6am. when the sun crept through my blinds i fell asleep. i wonder what it feels like to fall asleep from peacefulness, not exhaustion. 040307 ... jane alcohol & muscle relaxer & valium do not mix well 040329 ... Death of a Rose why do you search for loneliness with the passion of an obsessed hunter? you can hardly wait to be alone again, it beats against your head with a viciousness of pure hate. loneliness will turn on you someday and kill you. 040330 ... mlk Loneliness is a form of yearning No one can be complete alone not even the mystic, who tries to forget his self in a spectacle of intellectual gymnastics 040331 ... mlk Loneliness is a form of yearning No one can be complete alone not even the mystic, who tries to forget his self in a spectacle of intellectual gymnastics 040331 ... Shaun Time to go take lithium. 040412 ... x i think it's better for me to be lonely than to swing around blindly as i've been doing i'm pretty sure that they way i am now, i'm no good for anyone 040413 ... souless wanderer I'm always alone. Only sometimes lonely 040413 ... just here i am lonely, i am free... free to never depend on no one. lonely is not a sad word all the time, but a good word for some peeple and when you are alone you are free and awake, no one to shield you , no one to control you, ultimate freedom and no one can stop you 040522 ... _alone & lost_\ the only time i can remember when i was touched by the air of not being lonely was the same time i was explaining how lonely i was and the tears were running so fast, and dripping into the phone and you said something.... something so simple something that really meant almost nothing to you you said "if you need someone, you know you can call me." and that simple thing meant so much to me it was the first taste of feeling cared for, and loved that i had felt for a long time. and something like that could mean so much to me. thank you. 040529 ... _alone & lost_\ the only time i can remember when i was touched by the air of not being lonely was the same time i was explaining how lonely i was and the tears were running so fast, and dripping into the phone and you said something.... something so simple something that really meant almost nothing to you you said "if you need someone, you know you can call me." and that simple thing meant so much to me it was the first taste of feeling cared for, and loved that i had felt for a long time. and something like that could mean so much to me. thank you. 040529 ... _alone & lost_ the only time i can remember when i was touched by the air of not being lonely was the same time i was explaining how lonely i was and the tears were running so fast, and dripping into the phone and you said something.... something so simple something that really meant almost nothing to you you said "if you need someone, you know you can call me." and that simple thing meant so much to me it was the first taste of feeling cared for, and loved that i had felt for a long time. and something like that could mean so much to me. thank you. 040529 ... matt being lonely is so much worse than being alone. some peopel try to be alone...to seek solitude and get away from people. being lonely is never being loved...it's not ever feeling what it's like to be loved like so many other people feel. loneliness is the worst kind of being alone 040620 ... spiffy maybe in our alone-ness, we, the lonely ones, are not alone. we are the ones that can understand eachother. we share a common thing that ones who don't experience it don't understand. maybe it all ties in and comes around full circle in the end. 040620 ... love & hate I will be lonely my entire life without her. I dont want anyone else but my Katie so i will ultimately be lonely for eternity, just like i promised my angel. I would wait a lifetime for her and i will. Just for one more touch, one more kiss, one more sweet caress, only her, then i will not be alone. 040620 ... Katie Mc. I weep alone, eat alone, live lonely, slowly die alone. I love some others, but they dont all see who I really am. I have no excuse for my loneliness, except for my broken heart. 040625 ... Pop The Blue Pills I sit by myself, lONELY AS CAN BE, what is to become, of my suicidal me, shall i end my life here, on the spot now, Or just sit here and watch, watch this hell from my own eyes, 040627 ... emmi all the people on blather must be lonely. or else we wouldn't be here typing to a blue screen but actually talking to real people in real life. 040704 ... Borealis I refuse to be 040704 ... mona loves you It is the fourth of July 2004; other than Valentine’s Day this holiday makes me want a significant other more than anything. It's not a frivolous need; it’s a deep desire. I am so fucking lonely and I hate it because while I can be completely happy with everything else in my life I am still lonely. Where are you? 040704 ... Empty Eyes You will have people make you love them and then laeve you. You will have dreams that fall short of orbit only to fall back down and crush you. You will hear the one song that makes you cry at the worst possible moment. You will feel young in an old body that can't keep up with your mind. You will be alone and lonely in a world full of the lonely, avoiding eye contact for fear of exposing the emptiness inside. Now you know me... 040715 ... alone at last when i experience something incredible, and its suddenly ripped away. come to find out, that same experience was simply an illusion i made up to occupy my time. i awake to my reality in a pool of tears while utterly and insatiably alone 040718 ... Borealis when you've been lonely for so long.. how do you deal with the prospect of someone coming into your life again..? but I want it..so badly 040719 ... pete i've asked myself the same question, and when i find myself in a group i slowly am repulsed by the social activity and find myself alone again, longing to be in the group... in the words of Orson Scott Card (heavily paraphrased) in his afterword to 'The Folk of the Fringe' called 'On Sycamore Hill'...: I was the only mormon in a group of gentiles, I couldn't fit in if I wanted too, and I didn't. (only I'm not a mormon) When you are a lonley for so long, when you live on the fringe checking the rate of desertfication/grassification what do you do when you run into a group of travellers who can take you in? What do you do when they try to use you to get out? Can from the depths of lonliness and false dreams love truly come? "It wouldnt be fair if I made friends" Deaver Teague said (or something like that) "I'd just leave them in the end." I'm going to leave, so is it wrong to make friends? No, because they are going to leave first. 040719 ... JdAwG Borealis. You are lonely because you choose to be lonely, not because you are forced to be lonely. 040719 ... spiffy i am forced to be lonely. 040719 ... josh the one I love is far away. I love her, she loves me, but fate has separated us. They say being apart helps you to appreciate eachother, but what about the time apart. I can't sleep without her b my side. My every waking moment is but a big dream of her with the rest of my life as an annoying sidethought. 040729 ... the one who knew..... Sitting Still, Hearing Nothing, Staring Off As Time Pasts By, Knowing Nothing, Feeling Nothing, My Baby went Bye-Bye 040808 ... your one-stop metaphor source a grey featureless sky a limp glove, without a hand an old Dixie cup, emptied and discarded a television turned off and unplugged 040808 ... pop_guru What is a glass, if there is no water? 040825 ... pete it is less myself than my state of ineberation that is lonely 040826 ... empy eyes Staring at the outside from behind a bubble. Screaming out loud but no one looks your way. The weight in your chest grows heavier by the day but no one offers to help carry it. No one else is like you, they won't understand. It's easier not to try than to fail. No one will miss you when you are gone... I know it well. 040903 ... empty eyes Staring at the outside from behind a bubble. Screaming out loud but no one looks your way. The weight in your chest grows heavier by the day but no one offers to help carry it. No one else is like you, they won't understand. It's easier not to try than to fail. No one will miss you when you are gone... I know it well. 040903 ... . behind a bubble, my ass 040903 ... . i'm not asking you I never did now stop 040903 ... ... how 'bout from inside of a bubble 040903 ... ... No. I don't want to stop. I like it. 040903 ... Syrope you keep making things alright quicker than i can mess them up again i_love_you 040903 ... maggie... no that cant be right will you be lonely with me? we could be lonely together.. it might be nice.. 041201 ... Eraserhead Am I too late, Did everyone leave? Figures... 050123 ... Sadie Lonliness... sometimes a sanctuary, a refuge from the hustle and bustle of life. But sometimes... lonliness is terrible. When everthing reminds you of the one you lost, you twist everything in your mind untill it's them... 050712 ... Sadie Lonliness is a burden 050712 ... ? Liana i feel sometimes that i might collapse under the weight. The weight of this lonliness. And indeed there have been times when i have...i just couldn't see the point of living. But i only passed out and wanted to scream when i woke the next morning to find nothing outside me other than the blood on the sheets had changed, no one even noticed. i'll always have those scars on my wrists though. Like a beautiful bird, whose sweet song turns to a sorrowful cry when it is locked away, my self, my soul will turn dull and gray if it is trapped for long. and then it won't even be that, for it will die, and turn black and rancid. the person i act like on the outside will become the one on the inside, and i will be worse than dead. 050810 ... factory reject The only friends I seem to have nowadays, are the shards of me reflected from the broken picture-frame glass still lying on the floor. 050810 ... ? Liana all by myself... don't wanna be... all by myself... anymore. "guys may come and go but we'll always be together" and "i'll always love you. promise you'll always love me?" some of the last lines of a book. when i read it i cried and cried. i don't have a friend like that. the people i call friends are so incredibly different from me. and of coarse i don't have a guy like that. they don't even come and go. more just going... right by me. the ironic thing is, i love being around people. i wear my heart on my sleeve. it's like some kind of sick joke nature decided to play on me. i must be born completely in the wrong body, the wrong place, the wrong time. i wonder if there's anyone else in the world who could know how i feel. 050904 ... ? Liana all by myself... don't wanna be... all by myself... anymore. "guys may come and go but we'll always be together" and "i'll always love you. promise you'll always love me?" some of the last lines of a book. when i read it i cried and cried. i don't have a friend like that. the people i call friends are so incredibly different from me. and of coarse i don't have a guy like that. they don't even come and go. more just going... right by me. the ironic thing is, i love being around people. i wear my heart on my sleeve. it's like some kind of sick joke nature decided to play on me. i must be born completely in the wrong body, the wrong place, the wrong time. i wonder if there's anyone else in the world who could know how i feel. 050904 ... ? Liana all by myself... don't wanna be... all by myself... anymore. "guys may come and go but we'll always be together" and "i'll always love you. promise you'll always love me?" some of the last lines of a book. when i read it i cried and cried. i don't have a friend like that. the people i call friends are so incredibly different from me. and of coarse i don't have a guy like that. they don't even come and go. more just going... right by me. the ironic thing is, i love being around people. i wear my heart on my sleeve. it's like some kind of sick joke nature decided to play on me. i must be born completely in the wrong body, the wrong place, the wrong time. i wonder if there's anyone else in the world who could know how i feel. 050904 ... no reason it's bad to want to be with someone only when you're lonely. so what do you do when you're lonely? 051122 ... i answer myself you confuse yourself, apparently 051122 ... Linda i cannot describe it the feeling of not being not connecting shadows the only comfort against my skin i can see them reflected on me but i do not feel them as long as they are there i have something to carry with me buried beneath the weight of my own heart suffocating in my skin i don't think i could ever show you it is pure emptiness you cannot see it but it fills so much space 060123 ... Dareon alone i am for as long as i can remember.cold i am in my heart,it comes alive only when fire hutrs it but never does it feel warm,never does it let the ice and snow melt around it.like a fortress of solitude,like a madness of huge force.Darkness towers over it,no stars..no moon...sometimes silence is surrounding it,but mostly storms raise,destroying everthing in its path..when it ceases the tortures silence and solitude keep company yet again.It is a fortress of haunting solitude and anger.Mad i am for years,cold and witholding i am for the rest of my life 060225 ... Dareon sometimes i just sit in my room listening to the silence,i can only describe it as a very low huming disturbed only by my breathing...i have been lonely for a very long time after she left..after i left them...after i realized i was left alone 060225 ... Dareon sometimes i think how pointless all this is.jobs,money,power,me..and it is not even a figth of the good or evil,we bring our own misery upon ourselves.We kill eachother,judge eachother for what? To say i hate you in the end?What do we gain suffering pointlessly doing all these small things.....sometimes i think my lonliness is playing games on my hallow mind for amusement...sometimes i think being alone is all i have 060225 ... Dareon Will this chasm in my brain close,will sanity rule again? 060225 ... Dareon Where is everbody?The friends i thougth i had.Have i driven all those people away?Is it my fault?Whats wrong with me? 060301 ... ibu like i want you to break into me, and you do. and there's no more violence for an eternal moment. you deserve more than an entry in "lonely" 060309 ... dareon cant describe it...its just very lonely 060421 ... megan at this hour 060421 ... Dareon on this day 060426 ... rage you don't love me. lets get that one straight. you dont even particuly like me. you are just very, very lonley. to the point where you will fool yourself into beleiving in this relationship in an effort to feel a little comfort. you will get hurt. lonley? who isnt. i'll play along with your little delusion for now. anything to keep the sheets warm at night. 060426 ... KISA alone always alone nobody knows me but everybody loves me. the thing about being the best is people keep on trying to beat you 060427 ... KISA alone always alone nobody knows me but everybody loves me. 060427 ... hencewhat i have someone who claims to care, claims to love, but when you know they dont know they what its like to be alone, when you beg to see them and they think your being needy, when you know your being ignored as a loved one, after many attempts to enlighten them on your lonliness, you are discouraged, overwhelmed and tired of trying. i told him this: "i hate that you never care enough to make a point to see me, you make a point to go do favors for your friends for 3 hours, after you said you were tired and werent going out. I wanted to see you, i tried telling you but you left without even telling me what was going on , online, but you had said you were tired and you had a long day tomorow so i thought you would wanna stay home ??? why the fuck arent you eager to see me, ive never seen anybody enjoy being alone more, when it kills me when we dont see each other, its not fair, we need to talk im not happy, what the fuck do you think love is, its more then "hun", its mutually needing each other, and you know what i fucking need you, why couldnt u have just lied to me directly instead of indirectly and said you were sleeping, i told you, i dont like to bother you and basically thats what this feels like, so if your trying to push me away your doing a great fucking job, ive never felt more lonley, hell ive been single and felt less alone." that was 2 weeks ago, nothings changed, except, we see each other less, and now he doesnt even give me the courtesy of calling me. ever. i just sit starting at the phone, expecting it to ring. it never does. thats lonelyness, being let down, knowing it was going to happen, feeling like a dick for thinking this time would be any different. 060507 ... Dareon i have been through the same shit over and over.done it with same person over and over, in the end my solitude still tortured me, it still haunts me and i still feel nonexistent. I still remember the never returned love, the anger and pain..some people say learn from your mistakes, i say fuck it up before it fucks you up. 060508 ... getsomecheese lonely.......cheese perhaps 060603 ... Emptyness Alive everyday im alone iv found someone who i click with but i couldnrt go out with him as she is three years younger than me she is as hurt as me and write a convo in poetry i will always be alone till my day comes 061121 ... C i'm lonely, very lonely i have no one in my life that i can turn to when i have a problem or just wanna talk no one cares for me, no one loves me, and i'm 16 everyone good in my life has been taken away from me and i just don't no why! 061221 ... dragonflye so much here for "lonely." ...I wonder what that means... It's 1:20 a.m., and I'm sitting here in the computer lab because I'm lonely. Sometimes I read Blather when I'm lonely, looking for people who relate. I'm missing "the boy," now off in another state. I keep telling myself things were never that great when we were together, so nothing lost really. What I can't get over is the potential I knew was there, that no one else ever got to see, and that he and I never got to live. I just can't give up that hope; not yet... Maybe it's stupid but it's what I've been hanging onto for so long that I don't know what I'd do without it. I'm afraid of letting him go, and I'm afraid of him letting me go. During the day I'm fine, but it's at night when the loneliness hits me and I can't sleep for missing him. If I didn't have class at 10 tomorrow I'd drive the 4 hours to see him right now... But no, it's just me & the loneliness. 070205 ... Dareon i had a girlfriend once..what we had was beautiful..anyway long story short, in the end "dont leave" "i still love you" were the words i said. in the end i was the pathetic stage-5 "clinger"...everyday i remember those words...how could i have been so weak? pathetic? maybe i was childish, hadnt grown up enough for a decent relationship? after our brake up, i went through some hard stuff i still am. i understand why she left now..too late huh? ahh, i dont kknow im just lonely, bymyself and the only things that comfort me is the knowledge of remembering certain people, is the knowledge that i wasnt alone my whole 19 years (still young and dumb). i cant get into a relationship now, the boon of having responsibilities i guess....if only these problems had met some kind of salvation...i believe id do a lot better...these "responsibilities" are killin me, dont have time for friends..anything social is out of the question...always gotta be the "funny guy" to cheer others up while i suffer in my own misery.Always gotta be strong..ahh im tired, very tired.Tired of watching other people "LÝVE" their lives while mine is "ON HOLD"..sucks for me i guess...but then again, life ,as it turns out, is never fair rigth? 070214 ... athsara two lonelinesses: the lonely of together but apart the lonely of apart but together the first is alienation, the result of the extension of the mind/body/sensual nature without training in certain foundational restraints. the second is longing, the result of the echo of the one true mind returning to let you know you need not stay apart. you may work through the first to enter the second, then glean from the second the possibility of going back to the others--- with this, you can log off now and not be lonely anymore. (this free advice may be correct, but since you didn't pay for it, will you trust it??) 070214 ... Emptyness_Alive god yes i am i wish i could be with someone but whoever i get with i will hurt someone else i hate this im destined to be alone ocz even if they dont know them they will find a way of ruining or i will my self i hate hurting people so must i never be happy? must i never be aloud to smile myself? ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH 080106 ... Ken seeing friends hug and kiss. hating them. watching all the girls i'd love to hold pass me by. because i can't say a word. i'm my own muzzle. i'm not brave enough to help myself. even when i'm slowly fading to nothing. 081222 ... no reason maybe living alone would be even worse 090504 ... unhinged living alone is definitely worse sitting at home next to a silent phone just another lonely day where my friends were all out at play they said nothing just like i knew they would 090505 ... past away, away, away. by the time i sleep at home again it'll be the fourth time in four weeks. let me go home. let me run where i want to. drink where i want to. drown shit out. stuck here in a hotel room it all echoes in on itself. 091018 ... nr well, 2009 me may have been interested to know that future me loves living alone. it's weird being someone who simultaneously requires independence/solitude and craves closeness/intimacy. the choices i've made these days contribute to my loneliness, but at least i'm better equipped to handle it than ever before. when you're nowhere for long, people get on with their lives without you. a lot don't miss you. it's the loneliest, though, when you feel like you might let yourself want something if you'd ever be in the position to have it, and even lonelier when you realize you may not be able to have it even if you were to ever end up in that position. and then there's the worry that you aren't letting yourself attain things because you're scared. and days pass. and clocks tick. 150325 what's it to you? who go blather from