joke miniver Why did the kid fall off the bike? *** Because someone threw a fridge at him... 000912 ... Tank BAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA (probably shouldn't laugh, cuz that kid could easily be me, but...) BAAAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAA 000912 ... splinken why did the little girl fall out of her swing? she didn't have any arms. 000912 ... silentbob a guy goes to the pharmacist. wants to buy his date some candy. theres three boxes each box bigger than the last, he buys all three. the pharmacist says, "What's the deal, yo?" (hes a HIP pharmacist, ok?) anyway.. the guy says, "I am eating dinner with my girlfriends parents tonight then afterwards me and her are gonna spend some quality time in my basement. if she makes out with me, i give her the little box. if she gives me head...i give her the middle box. if she goes all the way with me...then she gets the big box of chocolates." "Hey, good luck man!" So the guy is at dinner with this girlfriend and her parents and they ask him to say grace. he leads them in prayer for about a half hour. afterwards his girlfriend turns to him and says, "Dude, i didn't know you were so religious!" and the guy says, "I didn't know your dad was a fucking pharmacist!" 000912 ... guitar_freak A guy goes into a store to buy condoms because his girlfriend was coming over that night and she hadn't had time. He had never bought condoms before so he asked the saleslady how to tell what size he was. She held up one finger and said, "are you this size?" The guy said, " no I'm bigger than that" So she holds up two fingers "how about this size?" "no, I'm a little bigger than that" So she holds up three fingers "This size?" "Yeah about like that" So she takes her fingers and sticks them in her mouth and says, "you're about a medium" 001116 ... smiles 100 bottles of beer on the wall, 100 bottles of beer. 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Take one down and pass it around - 1 bottle of beer on the wall. 1 bottle of beer on the wall, 1 bottle of beer!!!! Take it down and pass it around - NO MORE bottles of beer on the wall!!" COMING SOON: "A THOUSAND BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL" 001225 ... Kate Fletcher that really makes you wonder... 010405 ... psychobabe Heres one for you freaks "A man was walking around the gluf course one day and not haveing the best of luck. So at the 15th hole, he took out his 8 iron and heard someone say "3 wood." looking around and seeing no one he just went on then heard it again "3 wood" he looked down and there was a little frog saying "3 wood" so he did as it said and tried the 3 wood and sure enough he made the hole. Well then he went to the final 16th hole, and the frog said "5 iron" so the man like before took out the 5 iron and made the shot. Haveing this, the man said "i think your pretty damn lucky so i'll take you home" once he arrived home it was about 10:00 pm and he was gettin pretty tired so he put the frog on his bedpost and started to get into bed when he heard the frog say "kiss me" now he thought no way, i'm not kissing a frog. the frog said it again "kiss me" well he thought he made all this other luck, so he decided to kiss the frog. And magically the frog turned into a beautiful 14 yr. old teenage girl. "AND THAT SIR IS HOW A 14 YEAR OLD GIRL GOT INTO MY HOTEL ROOM!" LMFAO 010515 ... valis whattaya call a vegetarian with diarrhea? a salad shooter. 010515 ... abraham lincoln If you make a joke and noone hears it is it still funny?...goddamn right it is!! 010731 ... kx21 Why_did_the_Chicken_Cross_the_Road ? 010831 ... Mateo Why did Clinton cross the road? Because his dick was stuck in a chicken. 020216 ... Mateo Smiles, here is a joke for you: I read all of the 99 bottles, and Im anxiously awaiting for the new and improved version. 020216 ... Mateo Did you see Stevie Wonders new girlfriend? Neither did he. 020216 ... Ahmad oldest 1 in the book: guy walks into a bar and sayz.... OUCH!! 020829 ... stork daddy oh my gosh...you people wouldn't believe this! but i saw elvis the other day! elvis is alive. okay...it wasn't really elvis. it was andy kaufman dressed as elvis. take one down, pass it around. 020829 ... ~gez~ jokes_so_funny_i_nearly_wet_myself 020830 ... Toxic_Kisses life for the most part 021126 ... delial why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was DEAD! 030704 ... randomly recent lol@bc it was dead. thats funny ! 040107 ... just being helpful joke and many extentions also appearing in: monkeys 040109 ... RoXXXie a straight man unknowingly walks into a gay bar and decides to have a drink. he sits down at a table, and a waiter approaches him... "What can I get for you?" he asks. "I'd like a beer", the man replied. "Well, in order to serve you, I need to know your penis' name" the waiter says. "What?" was the man's incredulous reply, "I need to know your penis' name or I can't serve you..." "It doesnt have a name" says the man. "Well, mine's name is Chico, and do you see the big guy at the end of the bar? His is called 'Ford', ya know, like have you driven a ford lately?...I'll give u a minute to think about..." says the waiter as he turns to leave. The man wanted his beer, so he sat for a moment, and then waited for the waiter to return. "Have you figured out your penis' name yet" asked the waiter. "Yes, I have. My penis' name is 'Secret'" and with that the waiter goes off to the bar to get his drink. after a minute or so he returns with a look of confusion on his face... "Sir, why is your penis' name 'Secret'" he asks. The man replies "Because it's strong enough for a man, but made for a woman" ha 040110 ... Ter My life is a joke 040328 ... dudeinanigloo There were three guys who had just died/been killed, and they were waiting at the gates to heaven. St. Peter said to the first guy "So, how did you die?" "Well," said the first guy. "I was working out on my 9th story balcony, when all of the sudden, I slipped, and plummeted to my death. Luckily, I was able to grab onto the guy's balcony below me. The next thing I knew, this asshole was pounding on my hands with a hammer. Then I tumbled again to my death, but I landed in some shrubbery near the ground, so I was still alive. As if he hadn't screwed me enough, this prick threw a refridgerator on me, and I died instantly." "Well," said St. Peter. "That is certainly a suitable story," and he let the first guy in. He then turned to the second guy. "So, how did you die?" "Well," said the second guy. "I was coming home from work to my 8th story apartment, and I noticed my wife was lying in bed naked. I thought that she must have been cheating on me. I then saw a pair of hands dangling from the balcony, so I grabbed a hammer, and pounded the living crap out of them. For good measure, I threw my refridgerator on the insolent bastard." "Ok, this is certainly interesting," said St. Peter. "Ok, in you go." St. Peter then turned to the third and last guy standing in line. "So, how did YOU die?" The third guy said, "Well, I was sitting in this guy's refridgerator..." 040430 ... dudeinanigloo Shit, I messed up. READ THIS ONE! The other one doesn't make sense. There were three guys who had just died/been killed, and they were waiting at the gates to heaven. St. Peter said to the first guy "So, how did you die?" "Well," said the first guy. "I was working out on my 9th story balcony, when all of the sudden, I slipped, and plummeted to my death. Luckily, I was able to grab onto the guy's balcony below me. The next thing I knew, this asshole was pounding on my hands with a hammer. Then I tumbled again to my death, but I landed in some shrubbery near the ground, so I was still alive. As if he hadn't screwed me enough, this prick threw a refridgerator on me, and I died instantly." "Well," said St. Peter. "That is certainly a suitable story," and he let the first guy in. He then turned to the second guy. "So, how did you die?" "Well," said the second guy. "I was coming home from work to my 8th story apartment, and I noticed my wife was lying in bed naked. I thought that she must have been cheating on me. I then saw a pair of hands dangling from the balcony, so I grabbed a hammer, and pounded the living crap out of them. For good measure, I threw my refridgerator on the insolent bastard. I then felt bad about it, and threw myself off the balcony as well." "Ok, this is certainly interesting," said St. Peter. "Ok, in you go." St. Peter then turned to the third and last guy standing in line. "So, how did YOU die?" The third guy said, "Well, I was sitting in this guy's refridgerator..." 040430 ... BitterSweetDream It's all a joke to you. All a game to you. I dont understand why you never leave me. You never loved me at all. 041128 ... wish this were. maybe it is 041129 ... fix 041129 ... three words mistakes joke you_are_a 050221 ... emmi umm well....a horse walks into a bar, right. and the bartender says, "why the long face?" 050404 ... me hear about the frenchman who broke his arm raking leaves? he fell out of the tree. i dont have anything against french people, for the record. they make good food. i just heard that joke with frenhcman being the guy in the tree so thats how i told it. 050808 ... Tabernacle lame. on the other hand: how do you get a one-armed frenchman out of a tree. wave at him 050808 ... me ha. on the other hand...one armed frenchmen....get it? -.- 060803 ... its simple and now everything is a joke ! we've got and made sooo much "stuff" we just don't know what to do with it. i wonder if people are still craving things, still unhappy not to have the latest in thing. competition is generally a joke... it's me me me, i i i and my my my. i'm completely puzzled at why the world trys so hard... when you can simply just share everything. 070510 ... BACKFLIP YOUR LOGO IS FUCKED UP ! 070511 what's it to you? who go blather from