good_night Rhin O magic sleep! O comfortable bird, that broodest o'er the troubled sea of the mind, till it is hush'd and smooth! (Keats) 001204 ... Rhin ...you sweet blatherskites! 001204 ... V.P. Rhin Good Night Blatherskites, and especially to those recently nominated to the B.P.A. May the perversion be with you! 001205 ... Si-Rhin Good night one and all, but especially one! "Dream a little dream of me!" 001207 ... Barrett nite all! g'night Jim Bob! Off to dream of three days of free pizza... 001211 ... Rhin (*sigh*, smiling a knowing smile) This song for one adorable man... (rendition sang by Nathaniel Cole) "...In the wee small hours of the morning, while the whole wide world is fast asleep. You lie awake and think about the girl, and never ever think of counting sheep. When your lonely heart has learned it's lesson, you'd be his if only he would call. In the wee small hours of the morning, That's the time you miss her most of all". Good Night you sweet Princes & Princess' of Blather land!!! 001211 ... Rhin Count Your Blessings (Irving Berlin) (Close your eyes and envision Bing Crosby & Rosemary Clooney harmonizing this one...) When I'm worried and I can't sleep I count my blessings instead of sheep And I fall asleep counting my blessings When my bank roll is getting small I think of when I had none at all And I fall asleep counting my blessings I think about a nursery and I picture curly heads And one by one I count them as they slumber in their beds If you're worried and you can't sleep Just count your blessings instead of sheep And you fall asleep counting your blessings (repeat verse 2) (Sweet Dreams - Love You Babe!) 001213 ... EECP A good night requires no sleep, only a being perfectly created for you and only you. Unfortunately the being you need seems to be just out of reach. The strange thing is that when you have this "perfect being" with you, you typically do not get any sleep. 001213 ... Rhin Good Night! It's raining - The absolutely perfect element for slumber. So, why am I still up, at such a late hour? My thoughts, are in a complete state of chaos. I can't seem to squelch them, but I am going to try. I don't have to wonder what is bothering me. I know exactly what it is... 001216 ... Toxic_Kisses Yea, I'm goin to bed, I'm not tired, not in the lest, but I've gone brain dead (I'm sure you all thought I was brain dead long b4 now) and cant seem to think, witch iz probably good kuz than I wont be thinking about that depressing thing I don’t want to be thinking about, wait, what depressing thing? *Plays oblivious to depressing things she wishes not to think about* Yea, and az long az I'm not thinking about that nonexistent depressing thing I probably wont cry either, crying sux when its for personal reasons, cry @ a movie or a moving song and that’s cool, but crying over other things is considered weak, or @ lest it iz when I do it, I think ppl should cry when they want, that after all is their choice and who am I of all ppl to judge them, that’s right, I'm no one, hmmmm Gee now theirs a happy thought, well I shell now leave on this nice happy thought of mine bc I really can’t seem to stop rambling and I'm getting rather annoyed by it (az I'm sure you all are az well) So Good Night and don’t bite the bed bugs (They don't taste good) 011017 ... lovers lament said good night as i was walking out the door but i don't think you heard the sigh behind my plastic smile i don't know why i ever thought this would work loyalty and devotion are definitely not your style and here i sit,left wanting, this naive little girl wonder if you'll even notice the battered expression i wear it's that darkness threatening to invade my world the way you let me go makes me think you never cared for greg-thanks 011018 ... Rhin (na) is it? ::sigh:: 011108 ... Sonya spoiled bitches...women suffered to get you the chance at an education and you don't even want it. It's too bad you can't give it to someone who DOES so it can go to good use. If you parents can pay for it or you got a scholarship or some shit like that that most other can't get, you better damn well appreciate it. Yeah I'm a bitch for saying that but at least I take advantage of what I've got in front of me instead of whining about how hard it is. Newsflash: education is nothing compared to what happens AFTER it or WITHOUT it. assholes...you're just assholes, nuff said. Go fuck yourselves. fellow blatherskites...keep churning out the happy, sad, angry, and humorous dribble. We all bitch here, but no one is forcing us to be here, and no one forces us to leave. 011109 ... peyton It's 11:36 p.m. I'm giving up and going to bed. I sit around and watch the phone but no one's calling. Call me pathetic. Call me what you will. 011222 ... DOG IN HEAT what you will! 011223 ... irate irant I'm feeling like a dog in heat Barred indoors from the summer heat 011223 ... Nathan88 thats all i wanted miss u i guess i know how u feel sometimes sowwy 021216 ... Toxic_Kisses wow, sometimes I just don't know when to shut up do I? sheesh! any who I gotta get up early in the morn, so G'night every one! hope you all have plesent dreams! 030913 ... green day "I'm feeling like a dog in heat barred in doors from the summer STREET I locked the door to my own cell and I lost the key..." 030913 ... once again Good Night Loves. 040722 ... peyton time to sleep again it's been a wonderful night, love everything I've loved about you is still here thank you for that good night, my blue angel 050808 ... peyton for all those still here or there good night i go to close my eyes but before i cease the evening i will give my hearts nightly wish of sweetest thoughts for all the blatherers that have yet to dream 050811 ... peyton today just goes to show you never know what's going to happen when you go out for a sandwich you could end up just getting food or you could end up with a maelstrom of moral decisions or you could end up a stranger that knows your secrets or you could end up possibilites of pleasure you can't describe or you could end up with a really soggy sandwich 050817 ... peyton All day Staring at the ceiling Making friends with shadows on my wall All night Hearing voices telling me That I should get some sleep Because tomorrow might be good for something 050817 ... peyton I'm not sure what to say. It's just a whirlwind, isn't it? I feel like I'm collecting little pieces of sanity amid days and days of pandemonium. God I feel so hurt. So restless. I'm bouncing off the walls here. Doors are slamming in my face as fast as I can find them. The once glowing prospects of home are fading before they are even realized. People have their own lives. I've been gone too long. They've forgotten. They've went on without me. I don't know what I'm going to do if I get home and it's just like it is here. I seriously am afraid of what will happen then. I received another crushing e-mail today. One that confirmed something I knew all along, but it makes me sad that now I am meaningless to another person. It's right there in black and white. Stacey didn't call. I'm not surprised. I know Saturday is her daughter's birthday, so if she does call, I expect it will be tomorrow or not at all. Do I really want to see her again? Yes. Why? Am I just alone here? Am I just so ready for any sort of human contact? Am I that desperate? In a word, yes. I should just get out more. Take more trips to Barnes & Noble or random places. It relieved the pressure a little bit. I'm blathering too much, I know that. Spending hours and hours swimming in this blue world is hazardous. There's just so much undertow. I introduced a new person to Blather today. Seldom do I ever tell anyone about this small refuge. I'm about to go to sleep. It's 3 a.m. My wrists hurt. It's hot in here. I feel dry and spread thin. I wonder if my skin will crack at the effort of holding me together. It is still so unbelievable that so many have disappeared so fast. The realization is starting to set in that absolutely no one cares. At least, not in a real, finite way. A sad look, that's what I'm good for. a_slash_on_each_damned_wrist I've archived M.G. to the back of the room. We're done, her and I. She's too shallow and wants to pay me back for all the idiot things I did when I was a kid. I can't blame her, but I can't let her abuse me. I don't want to be abused anymore. I hope that everything works out well in a few months. I hope everything comes together and I'm happy. But I'm burning alive, here, in this place. There is so much I miss. So much that I can't remember why things are like this. Have I made so many wrong decisions? Are so many things in my life so false? What is real? What can I rely on? How come no matter how loud I scream, no one comes? Am I evil? Have I just burned everyone so badly they can't even look at me anymore? It would destroy me, but not surprise me, if the answer were yes. I'm going to sleep. I shouldn't think about this anymore tonight. There will be plenty of time to melt in the morning. Maybe she'll call. Maybe I'll be alone. Maybe the world will end. Maybe it will be mine. 050819 ... Strideo we_all fell_asleep ... 050819 ... peyton collapsed 050823 ... TK moon... Couldent sleep, felt like pokeing at blather a bit, I enjoy watching it jiggle like jello ^.^ but now my head feels heavy and empty, so I think it may be a good idea to get some sleep G'night 050831 ... stork daddy good night pretend life. 050831 ... z i out 050919 ... peyton i'm very very dry and not hardly casual not today drained dry with ugliness carve your name into something permanent but there's no way i'll remember and you're so far away good night 051101 ... Doar black_night 051102 ... peyton i have learned that sometimes things come out of the blue, and no matter how much you hurt, or long for them to go away, or try to cope, or smile, or cry, or scream, or look away, or confront, or rage, or run that sometimes there are no places for these things to go besides deep within us.. catalogued and chartered and recorded.. deep within our souls like a screaming wound.. touching and bleeding and tearing and pulling but still after all that with everything carried with me and touching me everyday i still long for more gentle unexpected touches random kindness that i pick off the ground and press close to my chest and dear God and dear darkness i love it so much so please let me press it closer so that i will never ever forget i feel on days and times like right now i want to stop it so much and just cut it to ribbons because it feels so disgusting to see so many just like me who say the same things and feel the same things and think that I think they're stupid or ridiculous and since they were just little girls and boys they've been taught to hurt themselves and be something normal and rationalized and something that they can't understand like little square pegs in round holes and when they look at themselves and their scars and their failed pasts nothing touches them and they don't know why and then they look at me with tragic blue eyes that shine like little oceans and they say peyton, you can't hate me for this can you? this is what i am and for what it's worth i'm sorry i don't hate you sweetheart i love you and everything you've done and when you hurt and you thought i didn't see i still love you and i don't mind when you hurt me because it's the only way sweetheart that i will ever feel that i've served you at all and i will go to bed thinking of you and how much i could love you in our own little way good night i'm so broken 051108 ... Sintina Bet your bottom dollar Tomorrow There'll be sun. Que serra, serra. And I'm not sitting at home with my cats like I should be. I should go see my mom and eat dinner with her or something. I should get off this keyboard, stop looking at this screen. I've written too much today I feel obscene. I feel lonely. But I don't want anybody to hold me. I get too much of that. I abuse it. I abuse all of you. I'm not worth it. I'm the coward. I'm the mosiac tragedy. The worst thing that could have happened in your life right now was my breakup. I don't give you enough credit. You're such a trooper. Don't worry, I'll make the phone calls go away. Good night. 051108 ... peyton there are few ways where this can end happily but for now its sweet even if i don't have anything i'll dream of you but please don't look at me anymore pierced you're beautiful and i'm so infatuated i'm here for you life goes easy on me most of the time with sleep i'll reset and life will come together again good night you made my day too 051112 ... x time to have a bath and a nap, if i don't i will loose my potty. 071219 what's it to you? who go blather from