coward Morkul The cowards way out Hanging in a void alone, Wind whipping round my feet, The cold warping my body, The darkness clouding my eyes. Hope crumbling beyond my grasp, Tips of fingers slipping away, Feet swaying in the emptiness, Mind drowning in sorrow. Strength slowly draining from the body, Heart slowing stopping its rhythm, Eyes losing their sight of this world you called home, Ears shutting out the sound of the nothingness. The last thoughts of family, As you slip into the void, It’s a coward’s way out, My way out. 050506 ... peyton You are a coward. So go ahead, ignore me. Never crusade again. Because you're a coward. When things get hard, you submit. You give up. So you're a coward. You don't want progressive change, you want a mosiac tragedy. That sounds ironic, coming from me. But I keep people on different lists than you, apparently. Guess what? You're a censor. And you're a God Damned Coward. So do your best lemming impression, and take everything in one big paint brush swatch. Because that's what you do best. Stereotype. Generalize. Because you're a coward, and you can't understand anything else. So fucking ignore me. You don't even know the truth. All you know is what you want to believe. You didn't even give it a chance. You're a child. You're selfish. And you're a fucking coward. 051025 ... cows of the world unite! I resent this word. 051026 ... karyn I feel like a coward today. yesterday. right this second. i'm losing my mind because I want to quit but I can't because I don't want to be a quitter and I'm so close to being done and i don't want people to know but i want an excuse. I'm not that noble. I don't want to look after your pissy kids. They don't read. They're rude. They don't listen. They're self-absorbed. I wish they'd grow the FUCK UP! 100322 ... Risen Occasionally, one of my uni friends will tell me a story about a guy she tried dating, but who couldn't handle her intelligence, power etc. It's a depressingly frequent occurrence, but at least it is one of the few areas where I can give straight girls meaningful advice. The important part to remember is that it isn't about the beautiful intelligent powerful woman. It's about the guy being a coward. Someone who isn't ok with being around someone who makes them want to be better, who is smarter than them, who has power, who makes them feel jealous. They want to be fawned over and looked up to, and to feel like the powerful one. Which is all about their insecurities. The roles they think they have to play, the schemas in their heads which tell them what love or relationships are supposed to be or look like. There's this misconception that relationships are a see-saw, and obviously many are. The best ones, though, are ladders. or to put it another way, chipping away pieces of yourself to make sure you fit someone, versus the idea of becoming greater than the sum of one's parts, and growing together. But I digress. I usually get a smile when I point out that said coward might, eventually, realise exactly what he missed out on, and spend years kicking himself. 180814 ... unhinged as a beautiful intelligent woman that has been passed up by a few men over the years because their egos couldn't handle me, it is cold_comfort to know that there could be men out their kicking themselves over abandoning me cause i wasn't stroking their egos enough. the last semiserious relationship i had made me realize i am totally uninterested in see saw or hierarchical relationship. that i don't want to be the other side of a power dynamic. that i don't want to be rejected by someone that can't handle their own selves let alone me. that i don't want to be rejected by someone because other people in their life think i am not good enough. but that is the way people date; the apps the profiles the cost_benefit_analysis the economic or social advantages, the commodification of the other person for their own advancement. which is basically the same way humans have been pairing off for centuries at least. i am just one person. i can't reinvent the wheel. i am human; i want relationship and affection. but i don't want to be compartmentalized into something or someone that i am not for relationship and affection. this becomes an increasingly intractable problem for me as i approach middle age. especially since i spend all my isolated free time building the brains and idiosyncrasies that made me intimidating in the first place. maybe my old impulse to get my ass to a nunnery wasn't that far off. 180814 what's it to you? who go blather from