tell_me_something kendra why don't you? i'm here. 001129 ... gwyllynne A man was walking along a railroad tracka with a canoe under his arms....a wheel falls off...how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? 001129 ... amy kendra, i wish i had more patience with myself. and focus and discipline. the virtues of adults... 001129 ... daxle I live in a house with 26 nutcases and I cook them dinner 001129 ... daxle there were actually 26 people including me (not without me, as I had intended) since one space was unoccupied it was accurate nevertheless now I will clean their irresponsible messes 001229 ... silentbob kendera im in love but not with anyone ive ever met. im lonely and lonely and sad 001230 ... chanaka am i supposed to always be alone? maybe i should go to church................................nah 001230 ... Thyartshallshant I have a bladder problem. 001231 ... Tank thank you silentbob... it never occured to me to breathe it in... i actually feel a lot better for doing so... 010103 ... WingedSerpent daylight is not my friend 010103 ... sirflaccid I want you to say all of the things you know I know. For so long, we traveled with an assumed sence of direction. Somehow, somewhere, the path was lost. 050328 ... dm33 i don't care what you know. i only trust you to tell me what you need. 050328 ... ... i don't know. you don't know. but there is love. this we know. 050328 ... figureditout you_have_a_home 050328 ... latchkey something? ok. spring break this year had me down on my knees. no, not literally. there's no point in mentioning it to the person that made last year memorable. that's why i'll tell someone anonymously on blather. I kept reliving the memories of last spring all of this week. i kept running through my mind the way she looked sprawled on my bed staring up at my ceiling. the way i felt when we'd fall asleep and wake up together. the way i didn't want to leave the room when she got ready for bed(but i forced myself to... i doubt she noticed the struggle). the way she wrapped her arms around the back of my seat in the car when we'd drive around the city. the way i freaked out when i couldn't find her after dropping her off at the airport while i found a parking space. the way everything just fell away when we hugged goodbye. remembering all of this makes me feel even worse knowing that it could never have worked. i can hear her now: 'how can you say it wouldn't have worked?' but that is exactly why. she never saw the problems. i tried explaining them to her, i thought maybe we could fix them. but you can't fix something if someone won't admit that it's there. and if you asked her now, she'd tell you i never cared. she'd tell you i just dropped her like a piece of trash and that i never tried. at least, that's what she said the last time we talked. but i did try. i tried for months. but i realized that there are some issues that no matter how much i want to, we can't overcome them. i tried to get her to see what she kept doing to me. i tried to explain to her what hurt me. but she wouldn't listen. and that's why i had to walk away. i don't think anyone will ever understand how much i really do care. i don't even think i understand. she's really hurt me a lot, but somehow i always just forgave it. it's because of her that a lot of friendships hit hard times. and i tried finding ways around that, but i couldn't. but anyway, the bottom line is the something i have to say is the truth of the matter is i really did care. do care. it kills me when i know there's no solution to something. goddamn it do i hate that. i find myself identifying with something someone else once told me: "if it wasn't for ____, things might have worked out better," i guess that's true. 050328 ... andillbeyours. love is stronger than fear. 050328 ... thehebrewteacher no1 can tell u what u no. u can only hear what u don't no. aleph is a man without a head. bet is a woman giving birth. gimel is... 050328 ... . thelessoncontinuesatnine. oh nine! 050328 ... tellyouNOTHING ha! The teacher is a student! there are no teachers there are no students. there is no treasure there is no map. there's a sea. and there are two ships. and they are looking for the same treasure. and they are about to find it. 050328 ... three words my_ear tell_me_something i_say_your_name 050512 ... Lemon_Soda Everything is going to be allright. 050513 what's it to you? who go blather from