observation jennifer I see everything I give excuses like "kiss and tackle" I want them to behave they never do but in the end I know it won't really work because boys rarely play true kiss and tackle when girls play too 000528 ... DONUT watch and watch with both eyes and ears. 000831 ... Zeke waiting with intent for collection of minutae for linear recollection of temporal significance in static non matrix thinking of taxonometric classification break the data down to reductivist discrete medium spread thin over bed of factualism iverted in a culture of empirical causality to reconstruct complexity 031117 ... whitechocolatewalrus i used to think that i hated myself and everything i did was a disgrace everything i said disappeared to the thin black space called nowhere but lately i've noticed that i don't hate myself i have never hated myself i used to think that life was unbearable and thought about the myseterious journey leading directly towards death but deep in the bottom of my soul i know i would have never pulled it off oh, i don't hate myself at all life seems so precious so easily taken so insignificant there are so many things to learn so many people to meet so many mistakes to make i hate my particular home environment and instead of looking at it rationally and focusing on things that make me happy i focused on everything negative and blamed it on myself as a reason to complain a reason to speak an excuse to stand out but now that i think about it it bothers me when people talk about how they hate themselves i want to punch them in the face and say "everyone has their problems, if you hate yourself, don't tell everyone about it so they can hate you too" but i am so contradictory because i used to say that all the time no, i don't hate myself i can see the rays of hope shining through the darkness i can find things to smile about everyday i find it easier to hold conversations or talk about anything at all i have more fun with my friends this realization of non hate makes it easier to survive my last few months at home and i no longer feel ashamed i don't even know why i was ever ashamed in fact, i don't know why i ever felt any of these things all i know is i feel a bit happier and it makes living life a lot easier 040713 ... newme amen walrie living_true 040713 ... Doar YAY FOR SMALLRUS1 040714 ... sarah people tell me i observe a lot. i always notice the small things. sometimes its nice 051208 what's it to you? who go blather from