daffy Aimee What's my official blather job? now that my monkeys are being auctioned off I only have my sheep... i need something more constructive... or destructive 010724 ... Dafremen Good question Aimee. I'm not sure if I'm the guy to be assigning blather_job s, but if you're asking for my opinion here it is: I think you should randomly introduce sunshine and happy thoughts into blathers that need them, especially when sunshine and happy thoughts aren't particularly appropriate OR welcome there. That should keep you busy AND allow you to switch between benevolent and evil motives as you see fit, without actually changing the nature of the blather_job itself. If you were looking for something a little different, lemme know. I'll look and see what else needs doing around here. 010724 ... Aimee thanks daffy... I think i can do that... i'll let you know if i get bored 010724 ... Aimee Hey daf, I kinda need a little sage like advice here. I've been feeling kinda down lately, mainly cause I'm going to college for the first time and I leave in a little over a week. I just don't know how to look at everything and stay happy. I mean, I really hate this town, but I am on the verge of fighting to stay. What am I gonna do. 010811 ... unhinged you're going to go there and not know anybody and meet some of the best friends of your life cause no body knows anybody. trust me on this one. it seems like yesterday that i left for college and i'm starting my third year in two weeks. 010811 ... Dafremen Nuff sed. You'll do great Aimus Maximus...trust me. 010811 ... Dafremen A lot of rumors have been circulating that I am losing my mind. I would like to assure everyone here that this is true and not true. To begin with, anyone that knows my writing (you know who you are) knows that I have always tried to be honest. I have tried to be honest, not just with the art and the audience(most of the time), I have also tried, whenever possible to be honest with MYSELF(most of the time), even through my own silly vanities. It has been paramount to my existence to discover not, why I am here, or who made me, but what it is that I need to do. I have an innate sense of my worth as a free individual and a falsely instilled sense of worth that comes in the form of a price tag which I wear around my neck like a chain. I have not changed my stand on self reliance, I have not changed my stance on the big butted getting off of their couches or the parents taking responsibility for their part in the degradation of American society, of human society. I haven't changed my mind about suicide being the sto0pidest thing I've ever heard of and self pity being the second stupidest. Haven't changed my mind about any of these things, because they were truths and they were steps. Each was a step leading to what I know now. Each a piece in the puzzle that I know still has more pieces than I'll ever be able to gather together. Yes I think the quest for answers is still futile unless it helps you to forget about being mortal, and yes I believe that if you enjoy asking questions and searching for answers that such can be your paradise, and I still believe that the questioning and exploration never end too. I believe I'm one of the luckiest hunks of crap in the universe still, and I also still think that beer tastes good and that a Deluxe Big Breakfast ain't half as bad as it probably is. I believe that poetry breathes life into writing and that writers bring poetry to life. I believe that music keeps my brain occupied long enough for a body to think and that money is only as good as the things you can buy with it that are worthwhile, which in the end, turns out to be not all that much more with lots of it than it is with a little of it. I believe that we have a duty to be protective of our freedoms and suspicious of centralized power, even when we agree with it. Like a fire, keep it from spreading outside the circle and it is useful, forget about it and it can take everything. I believe these things and I have believed many of them for the longest time. I believe that matter and energy are the same thing and that everything is made of energy or matter. I believe that energy and matter can never be destroyed, only change forms. I believe that those beliefs are sufficient to establish that all things are made of the same stuff and are therefore equal in potential, if not realization of that potential. I believe these things and I now believe more. I believe that we are slaves of a brain-centric world whose rules and institutions are modeled after the most basic perspective of our physical brain. Centralized decision making, control, domination and desire motivate all of our institutions and heirarchies. Lately our societal evolution has become more and more a degeneration. We have gone from free, intelligent beings enjoying the limitless potential of our universe, to bodies servicing the god brain and its needs. Look at the change in our culture, look at the move toward placating the desires of the brain, for security, immediate gratification, division and classification, definition and consolidation of the world around it. I believe it started when the brain first reached out to seize control of the body it is a part of. THE ONLY TRUE CONTACT THE BRAIN HAS WITH REALITY IS THROUGH BIOLOGICAL SIGNALS. It's reality can only be perceived secondhand through signals which are capable of reaching it, these are NOT the confines of reality, but of the brain. I believe that there is more. I believe that the brain sees things differently. It: Wishes to believe that it's unique and special presence is so glorious (which it is, the mind...the soul is a glorious thing) that it can't possibly be mortal. There must be a way out. Think of a rat in a cage that is slowly sinking into the water. It is frantically scrambling to find a way out, any way out, there has GOT to be a way. This is how the mind sees mortality. Think of an aluminum can going to a recycling center...at first it is crushed (scary if you're a can), but then it becomes something else, something new. This is the REALITY of existence and mortality. Science cannot refute this, rather it can only nod it's head and wonder what the f*ck I'm getting to with all of this. There is more, the brain is sentient and self aware. This self awareness has become self-centered, it has turned in upon itself and adopted the brain's primitive, physical perspective, that of a blind weak soft intelligent mass that cannot see anything outside of it's immediate needs, pleasures and through the external application of control. It has led us to try and shape the world around us into those same comfortable, secure, environments. The brain must think that the body is indebted to it greatly for survival. That the body is here to serve it. PErhaps in a way this is true, but for one thing: all of the material that is you has made it to the point of being human, and the material that is you is what will allow you to enjoy it. This is your chance to enjoy the show and help others to enjoy it, because it's hard enough being a lonely, weak, small, soft, scared little brain with no way to know the world except second hand through body parts without any additional greif or anxiety caused by the other brains. I believe this. It's all logical, all makes perfect sense and I'm afraid it's quite true. If that makes me a loon, then I'm nuts, so be it and thank gawd for that. If that makes me a person who has hit a crossroads in my life, then I will take that road less traveled too, I would choose to make the best of what I have than go after the best of what I want and discover in the process, the worst of what I am. So yes I am losing my mind because I have stopped seeing the wishful thinking of a hunk of grey matter that would be a god(my brain), and I have found a place in the universe and some perspective along the way. This has also brought me a deep sense of awareness of how uninspiring the human condition as we have lived it has been. I thank you all for your kind indulgence and your time. I will be leaving soon and when I go I'm going to be watching for something...perhaps I'll be back for awhile, but only for awhile and then perhaps we'll meet in person someday. Don't lose your freedom for safety's sake, for the moment that you aren't free...you aren't safe anymore either. Roger Dafremen 011101 ... ClairE Ooh, apparently Aimee and I are the same age, about. How are you liking college so far? Well, daffy is daffy duck but now it's come to mean Dafremen as well. Sweet Lord. daffodils..don't they have something to do with Christ? sweet dandelion_wine 011127 ... ClairE Also, I just read over what you wrote, Dafremen, and I am behind you. Plus, everything you wrote was lucid and Claire-approved-easy-to-agree-with. Oops, I ended my sentence with a preposition, in a way... peace. 011127 ... concerned http://members.home.net/fremgreen/Zodiac/ isn't working 011216 ... Dafremen http://zodiac.fragzaintskillz.com enjoy. : ) - - 011217 ... Aimee I miss you... I miss shooting the proverbial shit with you... I understand that you need to find your niche in life and that it does mean leaving your past behind sometimes... just don't leave blather behind. Don't rob us of your insight, your wit, and your optimism... 020416 ... Dafremen You rock chicklette. I wouldn't think of leaving you folx. Too much fun, too much to say. see also: DAF_INDEX 020417 ... phil it's like they say in the circus. You aren't going to suprise anyone else unless you suprise yourself. 020426 ... Dafremen Bo0! : ) 020527 ... Dafremen Photophobe, I was wrong...it's not here...it's my goodbye at simple_living..soooo see also: SIMPLE_LIVING 020527 ... Aimee I don't think i'm really a cheerleader anymore... What should I do as my blather_job now? 020527 ... Dafremen Hmmm. Maybe we could take turns bolstering each others egos and patting each other on the back for awhile and see how that goes. I know you friggin rock....and I'm absolutely CERTAIN that I rock. Maybe if we just bat those truths around in public long enough we can sicken a few souls. I know at least one twisted old geezer that would find that entertaining. : ) 020528 ... Arwyn fuckin' sweet!! you rawk! 020528 ... Dafremen Indeed I do, but you digress...it is YOU who REALLY rocks...no no...I mean it...seriously you are the abso friggin lutely most awesomest of all the awesomests. 020529 ... Aimee oh daffy, we both know it is you that is the punkest of the punk, and the hardcorest of the hardcore! If you were an ice cream you'd be called fantabulous! You're the reason there are stars in the sky and cool shit like tornados to keep me entertained! 020529 ... Dafremen I cant argue with you there....but I'm afraid that you digress. The real wonder here is you. Youre 25 Karat gold chicklette...undisputed champ of hip chique at its from-the-hip chique-est. You make dance floors dance and nightmares dream, you're the opium poppy of people and, speaking of opium, if Lewis Caroll had met you, he would have called his book Alice in Aimeeland. (Think we're nauseating them yet?) : ) 020530 ... Aimee oh daffy, you flatter me! You're the reason blather was created (along with the heavens and the earth)! You make the sun shine and the flowers bloom! Your intellect would put Einstein to shame! Without you Steve Spielberg would have no career! Daffy, lets face it, without you, the world would cease to be! 020530 ... Betwixt Ok, Ok, were sick of it already. (But i do love you Daffy) 020530 ... Dafremen To take a line from the chronicles of daf N noc: "Ahhh..to be loafed...ees der aynee oder way?" 020601 ... Dafremen There is a blathe up there dated 11 01 01. (How appropriate!) In it I state that I will be leaving, possibly returning, and then eventually leaving again. That second time is almost here. I'm not sure why I tell you that today. Perhaps it's because I don't know exactly when the moment will arrive, but when it does, I will know that it has arrived and there won't be times for goodbyes then. Don't think for a moment that I leave without reluctance. On the contrary, if my intuition continues to serve me correctly, soon I will be alone and without a partner, without my life's blood, my muse and my beloved family and I will be devastated. There's no getting around this. I've felt it for so long now, and to turn my back on what I need to do in the name of my own short term happiness is unacceptable. I miscalculated in another blathe. My 35th year marks the beginning of 7 years of selfless service. That day is fast approaching. It comes too slowly to satisfy my anticipation for the future, to quickly to allow me to make my amends with the past, to urgently to allow for much more reflection than I have already left here on blather for you all. Sure..I've lost my mind. We live in a world where 12 year olds kill 9 year olds over shoes and lunch money. We live in a world where 10 year old girls perform oral sex on their 12 year old (or even worse, their 18 year old) boy friends...stress on the word boy. Having accepted just these TWO situations as "facts of life in the 21st century", who among us can honestly claim sanity anymore? I will leave more here before I go if I have time. I love you all very dearly. (Even you question mark lad.) Daf - - 030822 ... a saddenned oldephebe say it ain't so! 030822 ... I never really knew you -I guess now I never will. you gotta do what you gotta do.. drop by and say hi now and again. 030822 ... Photophobe I never got back to you about being a Capricorn. Sorry. I guess I got distracted with other things. 070429 what's it to you? who go blather from