smoking Drennan My lungs feel like they've been through a cheese grater, I've given up but everyone around me smokes like chimneys. 991010 ... jennifer wisps of blue heathers gather around my face, making ethereal halos for all who pass by 991210 ... R.A.I.N. sort of like "On fire" or a good call. Insult after insult. Having an audience laughing at some one elses expense 991215 ... FooLmOOn the smell of it use to kill me inside, but now it reminds me of a friend, what can i say, things change. though it still makes my hair smell when shes around and she still takes away my trust, the smell always remains as do her memories in my head. 000116 ... Bethany Zozula when i smoke i know i'm alive because i can feel myself dying. 000120 ... apr!l i used to want to smoke because i thought it was just a life skill, like, something that everybody should know how to do....i never managed to muster up enough of anything to actually try, though...and that has made all the difference.....silly me, that's no life skill....death skill, mebbe.....hah! geez, how did i ever get to be sooo damn cheesy. 000305 ... kate i don't want you to be smoking, but you know what? I think that i like that about you. Of course, I don't want you to be smoking and killing yourself or whatever, but it's still true that it doesn't really bother me and i'll just joke about it as something to say to you and a way to get a smile. I was happy the first time we talked about you smoking, because i could picture that thing that happens with smokers where you are standing outside, talking about something deeper than it really is. a connection, perhaps. 001023 ... me I smoke and I hate it. I wanna quit but haven't really put an effort it to it. Maybe today I will or maybe I'll wait until tomorrow, or the next day. 010115 ... unhinged there is always tomorrow when you are trying to quit 010115 ... Tank i am on my tenth day clean of the buggers... i even went to a bar last night, got a bit drunk, and still managed to remain smoke free... needless to say, i am very proud of myself for ceasing to disappoint me... 010115 ... phil changes your body, which is always bad. 010424 ... Lucien "Smoked myself stupid and drank my insides..." and if one of you fucks ever sais Alk3 I think Ill just go off and...I dont even know what Ill do, just shutup and go watch mtv 010424 ... RAH hrmm smoking.. gotta give that up. some oine tried to stop me i resented the bastard for it.. now i drink and smoke myself stupid bcs of him. smoking makes me feel soo good. hrmm smoking gotta give that up one day. 011003 ... birdmad smoked myself stupid and drank my insides raisin dry 011003 ... ilovepatsajak in the sunlight, thick fingers, james dean, ashes on the dashboard 011004 ... satan satan satan if you smoke after sex that means you did it too fast and were not properly lubricated strip my gears and lick_my_christ, baby 011004 ... Norm I only smoke when I'm drunk or high. Hmmm I smoke alot. 011023 ... . : * p s y b o r g * : . Smoking is evil. I will never smoke. 011025 ... Sex edRix smoke in moderation (3-10 a day) 020209 ... unhinged they all did it. he eventually died from it. but it was the dirty incense of the middle class slob that i grew up with. the hacking coughs that covered up the morning birdsong; the many drives up the street to gastown to buy cartons of off brand cigarettes. my parents both quit. i always thought i would never start, but far away from disapproving eyes i found the hug that my childhood left behind. my crutch from the unfamiliar. from the legality of learning how to inhale, i found better drugs to smoke. my lips haven't touched a joint since friday. they are getting rather lonely. 020210 ... silentbob popes 020211 ... girl_jane I don't know, something about the fact that there's over 4000 ingrediants in one cigarrette just doesn't make me want to smoke. Or maybe it's the fact that some of those ingrediants are the same chemicals found in jet fuel, rat poison, finger nail polish remover, pee and poo, and that if you put one cigarrette in one cup of water for 24 hours that that water would kill anybody who drank it. Yum. Phillip Morris is my best friend. 020211 ... carne de metal cant stop smokin'! 020211 ... distorted tendencies suppresses my appetite, if i quit, i'll start eating more and gain weight. :( and i only smoke cloves 020211 ... thugstylez Its not the nicotine that keeps me coming back. Its the boredom and my lack of social skills thats turnin my lungs black. 020227 ... phil Ok, lol, oh shiznut. ha ha ha ha....exlaims in laughter....ok ok ok so...hu hu hu..what you're saying, is, (tries to restrain laughter) that you think HAHAHAHAA...mumble...that if you put one cigarette, in a glass of water.. Heehee for 24 hours, and then drank it (pauses to refelect) it would kill you? What the ****. You believe that? 020228 ... comeonnight i've met my match stinging sulphuric bitter proceeds the hurt so good it hurts tempting fate so effectively that she gives up non not un intentionally poking holes in my life rind "and this is your lot" dwindle, disintigrate, deceptively rot please stop killing me you are perfect for me 020304 ... unhinged it backfired i knew that it would she would be mine again and i sat in her truck with her parked in the stoner lot smoking 020304 ... dionysos “Smoking is indispensable when one has nothing to kiss.” --Freud 020306 ... god you'll love it, it's a way of life. 020406 ... exiria_malice i miss it now, after one week of not smoking. i don't need it, not like the pull of addiction. it's an oral fixation, really (go ahead, snicker). i've sucked my thumb since i was in the womb, and when that started making my husband uncomfortable, even though i only did it around him and me and noone else, i went back to the cigarettes. i feel ill at ease without my thumb or a smoke in my mouth. can't seem to find a comfortable way to sit. always eating (like i'm not fat enough now). i wasn't feeling very good after a smoke, so i stopped. but now i regret it. heh, how often does a person reqret quitting. i've never found a proper replacement. almost put my thumb in my mouth today at work, it's so bad. chewing gum doesn't help. ah, fuck. i guess i'll keep at it and stay a nonsmoker, it makes Pet proud, and that makes me happy. i don't want him smoking anyway, and if I start, then he won't have any reason to keep trying to quit. 020901 ... HairThief If people want to smoke let them, as long as they are aware of the consequences. In today's world if anyone is not aware then they are living in a cave and probably unable to get cigs anyway. Argue all you want, smoking is relaxing, smoking is addictive and holding a cig in a pub normally has that "cool" look. annoyed non smoker goes up to smoker to complain - "i'm getting a lot of secondary smoke from you" smoker replies reassuringly "Don't worry mate, you can buy me a drink later" 020901 ... sylvia plath a hot yellow flame jumped into life, and i watched her suck it up into the cigarette. 020912 ... m i want to smoke to relieve my stress... recommendations flow in from friends about cloves versus regular cigs and it just doesn't seem worth the trouble.... you can't even smoke in buildings anymore... do i want to be stuck standing outside buildings alone feeding a stupid addiction or is it worth it for the insane amount of stress i'm under? 021015 ... Freak i_want_to 021015 ... jane i've been smoking all day 021015 ... ani i got tossed out the window of love's el camino and i shattered into a shower of sparks on the curb. you were smoking me, weren't you, between your yellow fingers. you just inhaled and exhaled without saying a word. 021121 ... quissmo everyone smokes where i live. shit, i think this country probably has one of the highest smoking rates around. i think its funny, especially in school. theres the little 'smokers area' outside. i dont get why they do it though? i mean, most of the people i know only started because all their friends were doing it. sorry, but i think thats kinda pathetic. ive tried it, i dont see whats so great about it, all you do is end up smelling kinda like an ashtray. and my school is full of dorky/nerdy people. and you see them all go outside to smoke, and they think they are 'so cool' because they can smoke. shit, that makes me crack up. it makes them look worse in my opinion. trying to look cool by smoking when you're not. but hey, its not my problem(well, it might be actually =P). all it does is make my economics classes more intersting when the teacher makes fun of all the smokers in my class. 021203 ... wonder they ask if i've tried it, and i dither, hesitating to answer. is it because i'm weak that i don't want them to know i haven't? pathetic. something deep in the back of my mind knows that naivety isn't a fault. but something at the front which doesn't like to be disagreed with has its own flighty ideas and fears. i can't choose which one to listen to; the loudest always wins. i want to fight but i can't. i answer in barely a whisper and completely devoid of confidence, expecting laughs. i read somewhere that what you expect, you tend to get. i shrink even more, and that loud, controlling part of my mind that was so eager to advise my decisions abandons me and joins the laughing ranks. i leave, in the hope that i will be able to hold a conversation with that quiet but steady voice that in tranquility may be heard before the powerful one returns. hopefully it'll reassure me, gently aid me, and we'll have reduced the other to something laughable, a symbol of idiocy, before it comes back. which it does quickly now, inducing insecurities and that feeling of aloneness. showing his crafty side he gains control with panic; amidst my mind's cries of terror, i can no longer hear my saviour. i falter, lost again. 030316 ... sylphide *sparks up another* 030430 ... trixie I feel like shit so I smoke. I feel worse so I smoke again. I smoke again. I light the tiny white stick again and watch the cherry glow. I feel terrible so I light it again. I light it again. I light it again. I am trying to find the reason why I lit the first one. I light it again. I feel like shit. So I smoke. 030430 ... jane makes my hands cold 030430 ... unhinged 'where you drinking when it happened?' 'no' 'where you smoking when it happened?' sigh 'yes' 'cigarettes or something else?' 'cigarettes mom.' 'ok. ok.' this is the reason i have anxiety attacks in the first place. it's funny that when it happened i thought to myself 'thank god i haven't done any drugs tonight' 030501 ... Grace my Mother's addiction.. and worse things Looks nice in film noir..tho.. A killer.. i only smoke fake ones.. 030502 ... bearly recoverd and still not the same I quit every time I put out my ciggerett...and I'm suisidel every time I lite up a new... life sure is funny sometimes even when I'm emotionally crumpled and look like shit,crying my ass of caus he treated me like i wasnt worth it.i scream in frustration and beg on my knees,beacuse if I'm really no one, than whos gonna love me?Then I tear out my hair for thinking that way, of course i'll find some one...just not today....my mind whirls in circles and starts tantrums anew, and when i'm too petheticly tired from being pethetic little me..i lie on the floor, my hair matted and ruind, tears smeard my make up, so i look fucking stupid. no wonder you did that, i would have too, and so my mind jumps of a cliff and lands back on you........your just sitting there, looking sexy as can be, smoking your ciggerette and staring at me. that came out of no where any way....i smoked about 2 1/2 packes that day because i couldnt get that pictuer out of my head. now i just smoke when i'm stressed or with a bunch of smoking friends 030503 ... x smoke all you want but no smorking, please 030503 ... succulent depression it drills leaving you with nothing you cant stand to be alone you dont need anyone but you cant be alone the weed itself is company stay out of trouble dont get caught what can you do you cant think the only thing that makes sense is 'it' it hurts you it hurts me but what are ya going to do? its obvious, nothing you sit around smoking you know you shouldnt you know that the one person who cares is telling you not to so you listen and it works for a while but then you have one night away from them and all those words disappear you do it again it feels oh so good so ill tell that person ill let them know how depressing, because it kills 030611 ... no reason there are signs at my school saying to please obey non-smoking signs. 030611 ... you know who this is. yeah, I'm addicted to cigarettes. it sucks, don't start, it's really not worth it, smoke weed sparingly instead. 030702 ... no reason the only way you're allowed to take a break at my work is if you smoke. so...i should take up smoking so i can take a break? i wonder what they'd say if i took a break and started smoking a joint. 030706 ... claire "smoked myself stupid and drank my insides rasin dry" great lyrics by alkaline trio..i dont see the point in smoking and i feel very sorry for anyone who does smoke.i hate watching all my loved ones kill themseleves. 030725 ... tonightiscream Smoking makes the disturbed feel normal, calm, unperturbed. Smoking weed makes the troubled and worrisom apathetic, calm, controlled. Smoking gives the abnormal a sense of normality "I'm smoking the brains from my head, red eyes on orange horizons..." alkaline trio 030904 ... mysticspiral Smoking makes the disturbed feel normal, calm, unperturbed. Smoking weed makes the troubled and worrisom apathetic, calm, controlled. Smoking gives the abnormal a sense of normality "I'm smoking the brains from my head, red eyes on orange horizons..." alkaline trio 030904 ... misstree sometimes smoking is wonderful. sometimes it's shit. gotta find the balance, or it's an addiction, not a hobby or a way of coping or a mystical path. really good pot helps. 030904 ... jane such an expensive habit here on the east coast. also harder to cut down here... 030904 ... nomatter smoking kills babies 030915 ... tortuous still clean still have the nightmares smoking in my dream and i freak i don't want to smoke anymore but my dreams tell me otherwise. 030916 ... crimson He used to make fun of the long pokes I took, grinning and then exhaling through my nose. Some drugs make cigarettes taste so fucking good, but he wouldn't know. 030920 ... xyz I wouldn't be surprised if we'd all grown up being told "smoke. smoke. smmokkeee!" instead of the other way around, very few (teenagers, at least)would find it the least bit appealing. 031104 ... Timoleone this big lump of something that I need to say is in the back, uncomfortable part of my throat. But if I really pay attention I'd notice that my whole body is jazzed with this impossible frustration at what I need to say but am not. Not just a don't know how or a think I'll do it later sort of thing. What is so wonderful about this is that I can just go on and blather. To be honest (which I try to do) I don't really contemplate people anymore (this is a lie.) What this has to do with smoke I do not know, and for that I am desperately sorry. 040223 ... minnesota_chris hahaha welcome to blather timoleone 040223 ... soulesswanderer Given up cutting for a while... moved on to smoking. Swinging from one addiction to the next. Maybe soon I'll have both to keep me away from reality. To painful to handle, though I don't exactly know why. I just feel like I cant handle anymore. So, I sit in my basement after everyones gone to bed, and pull my brother's ashtray out of its hiding place, and the barbeque lighter from the shelf above the computer, and steal cigarettes out of the freezer. Light up, and breathe in the poison. I know its bad, but that makes it better. 040224 ... white_wave cigarettes never interested me. i didn't like the idea of smoke invading my body. but damn i love smoking pot. while it took many tries to have any effect on me. and at times too much effect to be enjoyable anymore. i try not to often because among other reasons, i just like it too much. i'm too sensible and practical and inhibited and health-conscious. but i just want to smoke some now so bad it's making me crazy. 040224 ... brain stew nasty. can look sexy between the fingers, a fag, but when i think of what it does to your innards i want to grab that roll of noxious weed from your hand and suck out all those fumes from your lungs, and when i'm done...smile smugly and say 'do that again and you're dog food'. and be believed. and its so warped that i can still think of kissing you, smoky breath and all. i don't get it. 040224 ... white_wave but are pot-free cigarettes a noxious weed too? why waste your health on something that doesn't get you stoned? 040224 ... ethereal i shouldn't have been so drunk. then i wouldn't have done dope. silly me. arg. i messed up my lungs. my performance for the concert lacked. air. never again. music means too much. my tone. my sound. my bass clarinet does not appreciate pot. so no more pot for me. 040224 ... brain stew its all noxious. 'nuff said. high or not. 040224 ... white_wave i know, that's why i reserve such indulgences for special occasions 040224 ... Lemon_Soda I just quite. yay! yay for me. 040225 ... brain stew a VERY big yay for you....keep it up dood :D 040226 ... Rotten_Cointreau I just dropped my cigarette out of my window. The pitfalls of the surreptitious smoke. 040729 ... love & hate For some stupid reason, i always remember our conversation about smoking. You told me that i had to change as i was becoming something you didnt like. But the one thing you said that i didnt have to change was smoking, because thats what we had in common. Now why do i remember that so clearly? 040730 ... New zealand girl death people who smoke are stupid and are killing themselves 040731 ... twist with weed... its like you sit back and light up a joint... when you breath it in you can feel your very soul lifting up... when you exhale it comes back down and you're in a parallel world... 040925 ... acidshank i like the way it makes my fingers smell. its nice. reminds me of my child hood. my father 041124 ... when darkness falls i quit, for now, until my worries come back again. 050710 ... LS Im done. 050711 ... HidingOnTheWall I'll always remember the way your hands smelled after you smoked. I'll always love that smell. Since you died thats my only way to feel your still with me. Now I love the cigarettes too. They will never understand that. I know Im too young, but I don't do it to be 'cool', I dont give a shit if Im cool. 051004 ... Snook Been a week and like 3 days. 051005 ... Snook Been a week and like 3 days, haven't had one. 051005 ... sisyphus is a pleasant enough way to die - not slow like the old dead smokers who want to breath deep until the last moment, hardly keeping their end of the bargain... no no no more like the young ones driving off a cliff, smoking a sunset. 051223 ... snophish its what I was made for...these fingers have always needed a cigarette, but never had one...it is the prefect addition to life. It IT makes me work better, calmer, faster, warmer. Keeps my nerves, gives me nerves, keeps my hands busy, but so much more. Smoking is love...nicotine high is real. I scream and scream and scream with ecstacy and yet I quit more than a year ago I still want it 051223 ... who i am doesnt matter anymore i could really use a smoke right now, can i bum one off of anyone? thanks. 051225 ... .M. when i was younger i would hold my breath while passing by smokers. now i am that smoker. 070614 ... frown a device that emits smoke for subduing bees in a hive? they made too much honey! the confused little bumble bees, oh well maybe we made too much honey too! 070614 ... falling_alone i don't believe in social smokers. rather because they are the friends you most often hang out with. my best friend started to smoke. she claims she only does it socially. the other day she came to pick me up alone and was smoking. this time she was stressed. she let my little sister see her, but then my little sister only said she was addicted. i'm not fucking addicted i only need something in my hands, fuck give me a lollipop or anything... well then where's the lollipop wheres the "something else" why bother paying an arm and a leg to kill your body when you only need something in your mouth. i'm not addicted and if you fucking say that too... don't fucking look at me like that... she claims that she can't be addicted because she can't properly inhale it. really wouldn't you only need the chemicals in the smoke in your mouth to enter your bloodstream once. i hate how my body reacts when i'm with them. my eyes tear and my chest aches my nose burns and my throat wants to close up. my allergies threaten to kick the shit out of me. i can't be with her if this continues. if not for the concern for her own health, then for my own. i don't believe in social smoking. my best friend is a smoker. 070821 ... c busy i'll quit after this last box, knowwhaimsayin? 081126 ... concentrate Hold it in for a minute. Its cheaper. 131030 what's it to you? who go blather from