underneath psyki maybe i'm afraid that i'll dream about tomorrow. it's three in the morning and sounds through computer speakers like small monsters. the left channel a bit weak. my ears for some reason feel like blueberry waffles feeding carrots to the lions. suddenly very cold in my room, ice drips from the ceiling. and a pickle slowly emerges from the murky soup. closing my eyes to escape these things but i know that they are happening anyway. americola masking taped to my door. i'm addicted to chewable vitamin c and i think i'm going to be sick. going to be going to kansas. a wonderful sweater, and i really should be tired. she left seventy five cents here and i can't sleep tonight. 010416 ... paste! don't lift up the boulder! the waste of space that resides in your head is telling you to push that boulder four inches from the caviar dish. stay where you are governor, you make empty promises! the boulder has not and will not move because you are staring at the fish in your hand. 010430 ... indust all i do i can still feel you numb all through i can still feel you hear your call underneath it all kill my brain yet you still remain crucified after all i've died after all i've tried you are still inside all i do i can still feel you you remain i am stained 010620 ... jane all our clothes we are all naked 020612 ... dude heres your car is where i'd rather be. i like it when you're on top. 020618 ... dreams i hate caviar never liked it just thought it was a social thing uncertain why i held it in my hand but was never in my heart there within lies the vast great difference for all that matters is the pyramid of the soul and you equate all of the boundaries...don't you know. how deeply the hurt lies underneath you may never know but nevermind can't reach the recesses of my soul so now you hold all the keys in your hands mine are as empty as my heart without you...so dude where is my car? only material things not as important as what i feel inside underneath it all you were all that ever mattered if only you could have shared your naked heart with mine...you are my heart and will remain there...clothed in gold. a good good bye is far healing than a bad hello. 030904 ... nonatter you're really lovely underneath it all 030904 ... Fierce I am underneath everything. He is underneath my skin. A fucking parasite. I love it. 040203 ... Glory Box i am afraid. this gets hidden in layers of altitude and spun sunlight like gold, my solid voice wound around and through, holding together the threads of our twoness. can i smooth this until the uneven horizon is steady enough to be still? can i make this winter hold its own in the face of the coming dark, the cold that leaves its name over everything i love? i am strong, but underneath i am so small. is there enough in me that can persevere without sinking? 040813 what's it to you? who go blather from