dallas not able to carry one's own weight. a slacker. 980901
meeker an after-dinnermint female waiting for her Man to speak
hoping to be fed the next
line. speared neatly with the barb-ed hook
god i knew a guy named feeble barker. his parents were brother and sister. 010829
nanny my sister had a stuffed leopard cat when we were growing up, she named him fire ball. my brother and i, being the evil siblings that we were, called him "feeble feebs" 011110
randomly recent ! 040110
Philosophistry how I feel when a gorgeous
at me
phil Between us and the merry-go-round.
Sitting in front of my car.
I waited long enough for them to go away.
They didn't move and that told me something.
It told me we were safe now, but the stupidity wasn't going to stop.
They had us on the run and they didn't want to stop.
So we took a wrong turn, why do they even make wrong turns?
They should all be right turns.
So after taking a left and finding ourselves surrounded by a tall fence that had the word "buffalo reserve" on it, and trees which the road wrapped around in a circle.
They parked off the road before the circle.
I almost wanted to stop and try hitting them with my car, but I didn't.
That is the image I chose to remind me of the entire gay event.
There stupid car sitting there, waiting to get rammed and have four angry tripping people kill them and throw the corpses into buffallo territory.
They let us get by.
It was a normal drive after that, with them following us.
Someone knew a good place to go with these idiots following us in their dad's truck.
A neighborhood.

This is where it happened. That lady was talking to me, I was sitting on her couch.

I didn't know where we were, but it was a good thing we got there.
We were being chased and just parked in the driveway.
We where let inside the house in a hury, then there was a conversation I didn't listen to one bit.
I slipped out into the back yard, still jittery, and I said something intolerably stupid.
"I am tall because I look at the stars." I took a drag off the cigarette I couldn't feel.
I think of dumb things all the time, but to hear myself actually say those words, that made no sense, without apology, was painful.
I smoked a cigarette and watched the truck drive around the back yard, like it was a game of tag.
I was asked to come inside.
The lady talked briefly to us, it was like she knew our entire story without asking.
She had guess we were shrooming, with a look on her face.
Bitterness perhaps.
Then she gave up.
Considered us harmless and that was all.
Of course she knew TJ and knew what we were probably on.
Her husband just nods slightly, chosing to completely ignore us, because we would not understand eachother.
I felt out of control and I didn't like it.
That made me wonder if there had been some planning behind this seemingly random attack.
I was the one who had driven us there.
A crazy ex-marine and his hippie wife.
I was freaking out.
I had lost control and I was acting calm.
Her husband seemed interested in watching the tele, so I wondered what must be going on in his mind, if he could sit and watch that boring show with all of us around.
Then I started playing with their toys, set on the table.
Wondering what they were used for, playing around with I guess, is it to show off how "hippie" they were.
Then I was thinking about that guy masturbating with the toy I had a rolling toy in my hand.
That he could slip his cock into...
It made me very nervous to wonder this because I had the feeling he might be loosely wired.
At any moment would want to freak out and reveal some horrible secret about themeselves no one was asking for.
Like that they did in fact use the toys in inapropriate ways.
I played it cool, which is bullshit since I was coming down off shrooms and felt like shit.
We had been sitting a while longer, my friend was remarking how the sound was melting, just like the vision.
It made sense but I chose to ignore it all the same.
I had lost interest.
I thought maybe I lost it at one of the parties, rolling around in the crowds.
So I spent alot of time searching there.
Going back, retracing my steps.
Which was hard!
I was too busy trying to learn to dance, or interact in some meaningful way, with someone!
Never thought about remembering any of it.
That was just a waste of time.
And that's it.
I don't remember leaving or how long we stayed.
I can't remember anything again until some time later in my dorm room.
I was thinking about Erika.
Writing her number in my mind over and over again, a number I never got from her.
So I didn't have a lot ot think about.
The memory is a short one, but it was next on the list.
REAListic optimIST meet_the_feebles 050723
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