parties jennifer scare me asocial 010204 ... demitria monde thraam used to like them when i was in my twenties. especially the ones at barrington, the hippie co-op where i lived when i went to college in berkeley...those were incredible. because it was a bunch of people who you lived with every day and knew by name, and could usually talk to easily since there was a family-like atmosphere. and...lots of all kinds of mood-alterants. nowadays i hate parties completely. i can't drink, because i have hep c. i can't dance because my knee is fucked up. i don't look good anymore and it seems no one older than me is ever around. and people edge away from me if i try to talk to them, so i give up and go hide in a corner. except there's usually nothing to hide behind, really. i just find a sofa or chair or place on the floor somewhere and sit there with my eyes closed waiting for it to be OVER so i can go home. or, if there's a computer around, i'll very politely ask to go sit at it. if this makes me a loser, so be it. i don't like small talk with people i don't know that are all finding socializing so much easier since they're all drunk and i am not. trying to make small talk with people i don't know while i am sober is hard work. and i don't like the stupid befuddled look i get on my face when i am trying to do it. no wonder people edge away. i wish i could get over this, but i don't think it's going to happen. 010721 ... Damian are terrifying. Especially the fraternity funded gatherings. 50+ docker wearing hard ons with legs, trying to put this or that in some unsuspecting girls drink. Dicusting. I couldn't fit in with those guys if I tried. 010927 ... lady lunchbox i wish you would invite me to yours. i love you, my little frat boy... i just wanna party with you. 020216 ... good people holy shit, last night the kindest, daffiest buds ive ever come across! sticky, green as hell, smells so very strong... fifty bucks a quarter. and a bottle of vodka. three bowls and a joint, and entire bottle of vodka, and i cant remember a thing. 020217 ... Lumenia Frightening things. Even when I know everyone, I don't know what to do or say, so I just make sure there are enough chips and clear away cups when they are abandoned on the end table. I stay up until the last person leaves, even though my roommates went to bed hours ago. Have to be a good host, you know. Get up early Saturday morning to clean while they sleep. I don't think we should have any more parties. 020217 ... lulie Party: A social gathering especially for pleasure or amusement. In other words: FUN! 020217 ... birdhaus freeze_frame screen_kiss 020217 ... girl_jane I prefer small gatherings of people in a quiet, calm atmoshpere. 020310 ... Q Why don't you go to parties? You're welcome to come along with me to the next one I go to. Soon. 070917 what's it to you? who go blather from