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roommate
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Annie
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I have two of them; they do not like me. One of them does not flush the toilet after using it.
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990415
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coldtea
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I would kill her, but then I wouldn't get to eat her food.
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990415
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starnge poet
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mine is pregnant and without a source of income...but she is the coolest and most genuine person ive ever met in my life so i think I ll let her stay....as long as she closes the door while shes puking every morning.
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990419
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ceorl
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MUST I chain the teapot to the sink again?
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990419
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daxle
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one's a stripper, he makes me nervous one's a computer nerd, I make him nervous the last is an idiot, he leaves me dumbfounded
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990430
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Nate Higgins
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Caleb is his name Percussion's his game cleb for short famine for sport For he is skin and bone (but has money to loan) So here's his home till he has a home of his own
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991030
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oodles
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mine's different than any other her name's kari and she discovered this site when she was shroomin' i don't do shrooms she's sarcastic and disrespectful but you can't help but care about her we have nothing in common but we chose to be roommates i think it was fate that we both ended up in a math class not fit for us (it was too hard for me, too easy for her) she thinks i'm kind of dorky she's right but she still cares about me and i love her, too.
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000129
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roxy
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mine gets drunk every day and stratches the truth til it almost breaks. he is unemployed and never washes the dishes. he has an insane record collection and rarely beats me at jeopardy. we have been through hell together. therefore he stays.
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000209
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deb
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emilia stole my kitten jenni wants to kill me on a daily basis just because jen thinks everything's cool but like me cannot be at home ever i have to get out i'm not a caged animal thank you
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000210
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kate
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mine is trying to get me to have sex with her and i do not like it much.
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001228
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silentbob
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well have her try to have sex with me.
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001228
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god
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or me
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010201
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black-dyed gel product
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my new roommate, well this would be one of the two, is the man right now. Before I even met this guy in person he went out and bought TWO tickets for TOOL, one for himself and one for ME! I had mentioned I also like TOOL when we were discussing music over the phone, so he surprised me by getting me a ticket. I'll give him the money when i meet him of course. Man, this is gonna be a damn good start to the year. Oh, and he listens to GlassJAw too.
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010820
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Gollum and his 7th tool show
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a wigger kid I work with bought Tool tix for me and him. fuck'n weird.
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010820
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bijou
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I'm getting new roommates on sunday maybe. We got a house on the lake and we're gonna get a canoe just like dawson's_creek
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010820
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kuru
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...and if I'm out there in the fall, you said, maybe we could share a house and be roommates. Hell yeah, I think to myself. And then I get a little frightened. I've never wanted anything so bad, and been so simultaneously afraid of having it. I mean, once you have someone, there's nothing left to do but lose him, right? Because honestly, nothing lasts forever. You hate it when I talk like that. "I forgot your life must first be led in the precarious mental realm of premise before actually venturing out, risking limbs and stuff in reality," you tease. But I am not like you, am I.
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010924
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silentbob
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loud fuckers
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010924
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MollyCule
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She has so much crap. Two cases of vegan burritos in the freezer. Cardboard stand ups of Snoop Dogg, a chicken, and a deer. A pair of styrafoam mannequin legs stolen from a dumpster. The storage closet is full of boxes labeled, "this-n-that" "hats, scarves, and other such things" "i forget" and "halloween masks and costumes and crayons." I don't understand. She said she would pay for the cable, that we couldn't live without cble, but we moved in a week ago and she has yet to call the cable company. Will do an entire sinkful of burrito encrusted plates and leave my one dirtied knife laying there. But it's not all bad; she did bring along extremely nice living room furniture.
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010925
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jestification
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i hated her in high school because she started dating my best friend................... then somehow, last year, we became best friends......................and she exhausts me..... noone can hurt me like her. but her little girl rocks. he randomly became my best friend, and she started dating him.....................now they're married.........................what's up with her dating my best friends? she's a hustler. he's an artist. i'm an artist. i guess she keeps us both from starving ourselves while laying on the couch getting high all day.........................but sometimes she's on the couch too............................it's communal under my roof and it ain't easy, but it's worth it.
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011209
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ClairE
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Am I a bad one?
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011221
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Casey
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Mike... -He likes taking his shirt off. -He has scars on his back. -He thinks women are only good for cooking and cleaning. -He has a girlfriend he calls everynight. -She refuses to come and see him. -She cheats on him.
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021025
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blue star
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I don't have one this weekend. Oh bliss. Oh rapture!
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021026
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bethany
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BARBIE- she cried about it at the end of our 3 months together, said i was mocking her. she was beautiful but i mean, she cried about me calling her barbie...tough. i think her real name was michelle, and she ONLY played dave matthews (sp.) i wasnt home much HALEY- the best roommate a girl could ask for, cept for the 7,694 times i slung her over my shoulder and into her bed at 4 am, oh but she saved my life a few times too. she never had an orgasm and was dykeophobic, so it was really fun asking her if i could eat her out once a day or more, really got her goin. then CHRIS- he moved in with the 2 of us, straightened Haley out and made sure there was plenty of rum to go around and everyone got pierced and i started dying my hair one sucked, the other 2, bestfriends4life 2 outta 3 aint bad
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021026
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Aimee
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We called her Jamimabone. I'm not sure why, but we thought it was funny. She had asthma, but she smoked frequently, so she'd have to use her inhaler at least three or four times a day [that I was aware of]. Her best friends lived next door and they liked to smoke pot all the time. She'd come home at 3 in the morning and yell at her friends, waking me up. She would let people come over and sleep in her bed when she wasn't home. She always ate my food. Used my dishes. Used my soap. When her friends came over, they liked to sit on my bed. They were SO loud and SO obnoxious. And the only song she ever played was some shitty Dashboard Confessional song which she sang along with. I wanted to kill her. And then she moved out.
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030121
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silentbob
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eek! stab stab stab
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030121
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birdmad
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the very word makes me ponder horrible crimes after the shitty ones i lived with
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030121
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photographedbythehumaneye
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It's a scary feeling that your are going to end up as the messy, dirty, annoying roommate, or even worse. You are going to be the one anoyed by the dirty, loud roommate. I'm scared to meet my roommates in a house im scared to enter.
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050504
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rumpled kilt spin
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fuck you fuck you and fuck you. no, i don't have three roommates, just one that is pissing me off three times as much.
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051027
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NoOne
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I got lucky . . . my roommates awesome
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051027
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grrl
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i slept with mine tonight and it was great.
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110713
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unhinged
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he finds the perfect location, price for a new apartment as far as i am concerned but doesn't want to take care of it before he leaves on sunday. probably because his social calendar is full today, not really a valid reason to not take care of where we are going to live for the next year. if i could fucking take care of it i would, but my shitty job isn't gonna get a lease signed.
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120630
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what's it to you?
who
go
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blather
from
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