chris nonameneeded i see you smile at me from across the room and i sense your perfection. just the way you carry on... fair skin, calloused fingers, nails that have been bitten down so severely that i didn't know they could be that short, hazel eyes that are to die for, soft hair and skin, very neat and clean, facial features that make me want to smile. thats you. wasting your day away playing your guitar and listening to your music, sometimes getting trashed with your friends, yet always taking the time out to talk to me for a little while, almost seeming as if i'm interrupting you. like you're stuck with me. but you have expressed many times that its not that way. you say you love me. thats what they all say.. but somehow i can feel that you mean it. i love you and i would die for you. it all seems as if its too perfect. eventually, everything that seems this way is snatched away from me. i don't want you to ever leave my side. i know this seems weird, but i really love you and i get a pain in my stomach whenever i think of it. i can't let you go and i don't know if thats a good thing. even if you hurt me, i couldn't let you go. even though sometimes i am scared of you, nothing changes. i just hurt, cry myself to sleep. but i feel that somehow we'll seperate, whether it be by means of another girl, abuse, alcohol, drugs, fame, long distances.. death. they took her away from me that way and they can't take you too. please stop your stupidity. its hurting you and killing me slowly but surely. i love you... 000826 ... splinken this month has been nothing but a parade of christophers. 000826 ... nonameneeded forget about me. forget my name. forget my face, forget my number, forget where i live, forget my touch, forget what color my hair and eyes were, forget my voice, forget my number. hell, forget everything about me please. what was wrong with me? what was i thinking? why do i love you? why the hell after all you've put me through.. why do i not want to love you anymore? why do you put me through this? why did i live for you? why am i thinking that i'm about to die for you? why did you wreck my freakin life?? do you even care? you wouldn't all you care about is yourself but i need you and i can't live without you so the only solution is for me not to live or not to live well if i do are you happy now? i hope you're happy... you wrecked your girlfriends life you may be happy but you don't realize that i never will be again and you don't give a fuck you wouldn't gee chris i love you so much.. remember me our names are scratched on that door and theres a few imprints on the inside of your shoe forget it all forget about me i don't care if you make it to my funeral you don't need to visit my grave don't cry, go on with your life its not like you would cry anyways you're too good for that forget about me maybe it would be easier for me to dump you but i can't i love you too much and i don't know why when you say you love me its bull crap i don't think anything can explain it this sucks just think about it you'll get it 000826 ... nonameneeded i told you i had nothing going for me 000826 ... i am dead sorry.. 000827 ... hoodrat just who am I. Somewhat bothered by the way things have changed. Life was so simple...I guess it still could be if changes were made. I can remember when life excited me. Now I just want to sleep...I'm even having problems with that now. 010119 ... Kris Um... Chris is... great. He's like this friend whom I would have never expected... He sort of wandered into my life and we somehow connected. Great friend. My feelings are personal... Why am I sharing them with strangers? 010411 ... DayDreamer Someone who infatuates me, though I cant react. Someone who makes me think of things that arent allowed. Someone who distracts my thoughts and redirects them to him. Someone who clouds my mind. 010914 ... unhinged did i ever tell you that the most beautiful musical event of my life made me think of nothing but you? i'm sorry if what you saw at your house last weekend hurt you. i could be overanalyzing the fact that we haven't talked to each other since the first day of class, but i swore i heard you say 'this is the happiest day of my life'. did i hear that? i get this little tiny hint from your smile that keeps throwing me off. a smile backed with steel; fortified against something, namely me. i know that you had a hard time hearing that i was bi; i know that seeing me kiss natalie on your front porch or at the very least hearing about it was probably not cool. but me and natalie are very good friends and that night we were very drunk very good friends. the only other girls in my life either have boyfriends or are looking for something else along better lines. i keep letting you slip away from me. i really wanted to spend the night with you again the other night and just fall asleep to you holding me. but we don't even truly smile at each other anymore. i'm not going to be stupid enough to let this go by without a word again. 010915 ... zenfishsticks we bonded over stories of misfits and outcasts. i yelled when you cut your hair off. then you disappeared into that place where all the stoners go eventually. your smile always made me smile. i miss that. and you. 020109 ... unhinged ha so he's fucking some 'homely freshman girl' now. that's probably why he won't look me in the face anymore. i love it when they think they are getting away with something. (he didn't care about natalie and surely didn't care about me) 020129 ... Keemeers Chris was my prom date. Never had I been so humiliated by someone in my entire life. Think Carrie. Think... Sweet Valley High. The good thing was I went upstairs and played pool all night with my friends. We talked about old flames, old things, new sluts, and had a good time. Then afterwards we all got drunk. That was life in high school. And now he's talking to me again. Chris. Well, he sought me out by going to my webpage awhile ago. "Nice page." And I blinked at the email, wondering if I was hallucinating. I hadn't seen him in years. Now we're chatting. Constantly. He doesn't live here, nor do I think he will again. I forgot about how he treated me at the prom. And I forget about how things felt back then. I'm different, he's... the same...but closer to a degree. And things change. I don't think I'd ever date him. He's too perfect, too touchy, and too pure for me. I need someone who I can be myself and be sadistic with. Someone with flaws, that snores, that watches cartoons at 3am. Someone smart. Chris is smart. Very smart. He's just so bloody perfect. 020305 ... Clyde i'm sad. it's not right the lot in life he got. it isn't fair. i'm scared. 020327 ... Sailor Jupiter My 1st boyfriend's name was Chris. Freshman year of High School. He had major issues and would cut himself in front of me and get all crazy and drive me crazy...so we broke up and he got help and I slunk into a 2 year depression. Then he calls me up when I am 4 months into my next relationship wanting me back. I turned him down. A few months later he popped up at my house to say hi. Then this last November I get a call. He joined the Marines and was being sent to Afgahnistan. So I went to visit him the day before he left and he opened the door piss drunk. (I didn't blame him) We had a good 1 hour talk and then I got sick of his drunk friends who were running round and yeling. Before I left he kissed me twice. ours is an odd story. I have the feeling he's going to follow me around all my life. It's kinda flattering. 020328 ... minnesota_chris yes yes, I am all that, and a bag of chips. 020328 ... Ariadani a big bag or a little bag? *giggle* 020328 ... Maggie Mash Wait... Isn't that me in the mirror? 020410 ... eklektic dashboard confessional singer : the first part of friend of mines email address, which happens to allude to the dashboard confessional crooner : a friend at school with tons o' patches on his messenger bag and a personality i want to eat : a friend that i turned on to jimmy eat world and dashboard confessional and unwritten law and sits in front of me in english and geometry : a nickname for Jesus CHRISt. 020426 ... doral lights i remember chris. chris he was blank a void ubelivably full of absolute nothing. i refused to belive he was more that unlined bleach white paper and attempted to draw pretty things onto him. 020426 ... eklektic chris said that he and his homecoming date are going to go to homscoming dressed as meg and jack white. he's going to get the suit jack wore on the VMAs. and, lucky for them, his date has dark hair and looks a little like meg, or so he says. i cant wait for those pictures. 020911 ... *nat* my brother, the most annoying ass on the face of the earth, other than joe priestley. 020912 ... just_inflate im so sick of this i almost hate the awkward glances god bless the corners of my eyes your secret shrine where i worship to your breath. is it just me or do you feel the same? this is the longest stoplight ever. 021220 ... just_inflate you look at me harder now you talk to me more i cant help but wonder why for no on could possibly like me. 030125 ... -Succubus- Oh, now here's one I could go on forever about. Three days ago, my blathe would be completely different. It would have been on the other end of the totem pole so to speak. Oh, but you fucked me over. You fucked me over so badly. You played me like a deck of fucking cards. I guess I should have known better. You "fell in love" with me while you were still married, so, why did I think there would be anything serious between the two of us? Oh well, life really fucks us all over sometimes, I suppose. But really, now my question is, Are you really that stupid? or Are you really that big of an asshole? "Are you okay?" you say. Well, "Fuck you," I should have replied. But, I didn't. I merely gritted my teeth and smiled, lips drawn tightly together. "Fine," was the single word that squeaked out of my mouth, and then I asked you to leave me be. You looked genuinely hurt. I thought for maybe five minutes that I had lost my mind. Maybe, just maybe, I had imagined us having anything more than an acquaintence-ship-type thing. But, no, no, thats not it. Which brings me back to my original two quesions...stupid or asshole? Ahh, either way, you're not mine. I officially don't have to put up with your bullshit any longer. 031108 ... PrettyHate He is special. I can only not think about, I wouldn't want to say anything spastic, the girl that looks like meg will always love Chris, but she has an awkward characteristic that she feels might be unbeautiful and certainly she would not want to taint him in some minor way. She loves him more than herself so it is fine that he carry on with things his own way. 040131 ... witchesrequiem Chris's smell I can't remember, just the perfect childish grin he had when he laughed and curled his hands up to his mouth. Never too embarressed to ask a personal question. Only turning red when I made an awkward advance. Am I to sweet? To pretty? To much? Or do the boys blather giggles of jealosy? 040201 ... her royal highness the quirk i came to your door last night, armed and ready to give you a heartfelt confession. instead, all i got was you refusing to get out of bed and let me in the dorm. asshole! that’s ok though. i mean how were you supposed to know that i was there to see if you realized that it's more than a middle school crush? how were you supposed to know that i was there to tell you that i’m madly in love with you and have been for the past year? how were you supposed to know that it’s taken me months to get the courage up to do what i was going to do? and furthermore, how were you supposed to know that if i didn’t do it last night, my heart would explode???? sheesh boy. 040201 ... Novice The name of the first guy I ever loved, well not loved, but loved. I still do really love him, although we'll probably never be with one another. It doesn't matter, I love my Texas boy, and I will for the rest of my life. He's my "Texas Husband" 040201 ... her royal highness the quirk chris... my best friend the guy i'm hopelessly in love with the guy i dream about the guy who wears boots that are 2 sizes too big and missing their laces the guy who drives me crazy the guy who knows just what to do to annoy me the guy who calls me hobbit i could go on and on... when he and i met last year (my freshman year in college), i was dating a guy from my hs and that guy was always incredibly jealous of our friendship. i didn't realize that there was anything to be jealous of, until one night when i was having a shitty time. i imed him and he invited me over, no questions asked, with promises of multiple movies (my choice), cookie dough, and nobody asking me to talk about what was wrong. i ended falling asleep on his extra bed and he covered me up and let me stay. just the act of sleeping in the same room was so comforting, moreso than he's ever realized. i realized then that i had been in denial about my feelings for chris. i realized that there was way more than just friendship there. way more than just a crush. months later, after my ex and i broke up, i asked chris out. i thought i had a chance. he said no. he said that he'd never thought of me as more than a friend. he said there was no "spark." i was crushed, but as much as i tried, the feelings haven't gone away. i ruined our friendship with my little confession. we're not as close as we used to be, but he's still there. he's still a constant in my life, and no matter how hard i try, my love is simply not going away. be forewarned...i might be forced to post multiple times on this one :-) 040202 ... ethereal my russion corespondent. traveller from afar. well really only two computers down. what version of borshte do you like? you make me laugh. WAIT!! Stalin does NOT laugh. I lied. tell me to be quiet now. no don't!! ill set my spies after you. well. no i just won't bring the peanut butter marshmallow squares friday. 040225 ... Borealis peanut butter sounds kinky 040225 ... ethereal i have PB and J right now. would you Like some? 040225 ... Borealis the question my dear..is not if I want some..but what exactly it is that I want. .. friday night I'm free. 040225 ... minnesota_chris weird, my name is chris, and I've lived in Russia. I like borscht with sour cream in it. 040225 ... ethereal smiles at the unbelieveably happy coincidence that is. i like it with sour cream too. 040225 ... .fallen there are many Chris' in my life .... all are magick ..... one feels like an extension of mySelf , we've survived alot and still maintain contact one was everything gentle and sweet ..... taught me a wonderful lesson that_night the other was/is my favorite crush .... she was/is powerful... pure ...and made me hunger for more 040225 ... minnesota_chris I'm magick too. I can make invisible bad smells appear from nowhere! 040226 ... her royal highness the quirk oooh new chris. definite possibilities here, but not sure how far it's going to go. i wish he'd tell me if he's interested in me. *hint hint* :-) 040301 ... beaver my name 040303 ... all you stalkers will never know!! He ate me out tonight :D ;) 040329 ... white_wave i have two customers, who are a married couple. the husbend is named Chris. and his wife is named Chris. i think that the story of them falling in love must have been real cute. "Chris, I love you!" "I love you too, Chris!" 040329 ... villain daydream the name of my brother, by birth, and also my best friend. my best male friend. always the best friend. that's me. so i'm a lesbian, right? that makes it ok, right? whatever. But I'm not bitter. I love my Boy. 041119 ... briar My best friend. sometimes i love you and other times you are so mean to me it hurts. why do we have to fight? will you always be here for me even though i scare you by doing stupid things to myself? 041119 ... sameolme My brother, died young. He was 25. His wife was 8 months pregnant with their 1st child. A construction accident. That sent me to the deepest hell I've ever been in. He was the best friend I've ever had. His daughter is all grown up now. She is very much like him even though they never knew each other. Outgoing, cheerful, atheletic, not prone to the depression that has dogged me. He sometimes appears in my dreams, still young, still the golden boy who I will miss till I die. 041119 ... Ivory It would appear that I will never be in love with anyone else. Strangely enough, the most recent people I've even been attracted to share your name. Criteria for next boyfriend: He must have a neck tattoo, and his name must be some veritable spelling of "Chris." Yah. It is a curse. 050228 ... her royal highness the quirk my immortal 050704 ... hencewhat I met him about a year ago, at a party in smithtown. I was with my friends and my boyfriend and Leah and Cheri and everyone else from my gang. He immediatly caught my attention and that was bad because ryan was up my ass all night. But i flirted with him relentlessly even though the supposed love of my life was in the next room. He was the finest Irish boy in the place, and I have a thing for the Irish boys. He is tall and dark haired and so handsome and charming. I have no idea how he got my number but I think it has something to do with Kim pretending to be Chris. I got his number and i never called him. Until one day i got this crazy idea to hit him up.. we chilled for about 2 hours at marians house with cheri and i was in a really good mood and as i was sitting at marians computer and he was sitting next to me and i leaned over on a whim and kissed him on the cheek. He said "i really wanna kiss you back", But i had told him i had a boyfriend. That was before the drama and the shitty shitty summer and I moved to smithtown down the road from him and worked at maces. He came in and i was shocked and suproised and so happy to see him but i kept my cool. I called him shortly afterwards but never hung out until 2 weeks ago. I called him on a friday with a lucky guess that reminded me that he said the only night he had off was fridays. He said that he was having a fire in his backyard and that i should come to hang out. I had to take a cab there but i didnt mind. I got there and there was only him and Kevin. The fire was nice and he was tipsy and then a few people showed up but his grandfather came outside yelling and hollering about the fire, so we had to put it out. Then his friends left to go fight some kids and then we were left in teh little play house. I poured beer all over this kids head and the other kids were laughin thier ass off. Then i got drunk fast and next thing i know me and kevin are fightin in chris's room and then me and Chris are makin out. Then kevin tries to hop in and i was definatly not all about that. Needless to say, he went to drop me off at home but i was locked out so we went back to his house and dropped off Kevin and had great sex. The next day we woke up and he drove me to work at 11. It was a beautiful day. He called me on tuesday to let me know that he kinda sorta has a girlfriend. my heart dropped. But he kept apologizing and said he still wanted to see me and that he was telling me cus he has a little crush on me. He said hed see me this weekend when i got home and friday night while i was at work he came in with kevin and invited me to a party in centerport. I accepted and said id see him after work. He has a girlfriend. He came by and was very very excited and in a good mood blasting music and i knew i was gunna have fun. The party was short lived and small so we left pretty early. We dropped off kevin, went back to his house to watch Sean of the Dead and i had the best night ever. I was drinking a little bit but the movie and the drinking and him was all just so funny and good that i was genuinely happy to be there. He likes to cuddle and is well endowed and he has amazing eyes and hes a gentleman. He opens doors and does all the nice things. He has a girlfriend. We woke up and cuddled all day in his cozy bed. He asked me to see Walk the Line with him and his sister but i had work at 5 and wouldnt have made it back from the 3 pm movie. I sat home alone on saturday after i smoked after work with Sean. Sunday we went to the football game The superbowl, Zacky's team lost. But grandma came over afterwards for dinner we had a kick ass dinner with turkey and stuffing and my awesome potatoes. We went to go pick up Aunt Caroline at LaGuardia then they dropped me off. That night we did E...me and Justin had fun...until ryan called me and ruined it. Then me and Cooper and justin and Bam got 40's and drank in the presidents house. me and cooper went back to his room. Monday was a shitty day i didnt wake up until 4 but i got a message from Chris that i forgot he wanted to hang out but he came over after work at about 10 and we went to my building meeting and then we watched Alice in Wonderland and then we lost track of time and i signed him out at 1201 and they had already taken his Id. so i went back to his house to sleep over and we talked about a whole bunch of stuff like how he really really really likes kissing me and me sleeping next to him and hes like i really like it...is that a bad thing and i had to be completely honest and say yes...followed by i woulndnt want it done to me and he said something about oh she did it to me last year...maybe all i am is the get back at her fling. i told him im not going to his christmas party because she is going to be there and i woulndnt want a girl to be there if i was his gf...u know...We got up around 9 the next morning and i ran around with him to see the hall and stuff and we went to Millenium Diner and then we went to school and waited for 12 to come so he could get his id and he wound up hanging out with me until 430 when he had to go to work and i had so much fun laughin and joking around and he just makes me feel so good about myself. I came back home last night and he called me at 9 to see if i wanted to chill with him at 11 when he gets off work and he picked me up and i went to his house and we watched this stupid movie with Jim carrey and eleijah wood and kirstin dunst. and it sucked so instead we put on kids. And i played with his hair and rubbed his stomach and played with his fingers until i fell off into the best rem cycle ever. i even dreamt, and that is wierd not because i can remember dreaming..i just remember wakin up talking about something and when he talked back i was like woah! im not home alon in my bed and i looked and i was in his bed with his arms wrapped around my waist and it was so nice i didnt want to leave but i knew i had to because it was almost 430am and dad leaves for work around 5. He has a girlfriend 051123 ... hsg " nails that have been bitten down so severely that i didn't know they could be that short," i knew a chris who did that... he went to howell. i think the three of us know each other. 051124 ... Ivory I loved you so much for so long. And now that you finally want me, I just want you to disappear. Only, not really, but with all the things wrong with me... I love you too much to want you to have to deal with them. 060501 ... p2 is a weeds fan chris died for your sins 060502 ... coolsoundingme is dying for his sins. how cursed i am to be named this. 070313 ... hsg1437 king_of_the_winds lord_of_the_winds.... what_the_bleep 070313 ... alisa tourloukis, every drawing that i drew was never ever as cute as you 070601 ... alisa dont you see, the fall has come and gone? im falling into you You percieve all of these things id never have known, oh. id love to see you so delicate so weak so little purpose but i only see a sleeping world where waking isnt worth it. how can i live without the light? love, ive had enough of you tonight 070601 ... three words chris ego_dance i_predict 180901 what's it to you? who go blather from